Advice for me and my Mommy?

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Chibifoxkit

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Um...howdy! Uh, i'm not really sure where to begin...but I have some questions...

My Mommy is a Little with a Daddy who is an awesome Grandpa! She's uh...polygamous.

Anywho, our relationship is less sexually based, I didn't really have a mother and she had her children taken away from her...so we kinda filled each other's void.

We're at the stage where she's agreed to an adult adoption to make it official.

I'd just like to hear some advise for us as it's a new relationship for both of us and we'd like some advise from others.
 

Chibifoxkit

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Uh..well actually...it's something we both want, it's a symbolic thing as well as helpful for legal reasons. But uh...i'm not really looking for judgment on that, i'm simply asking for advise for us from those that have had this relationship.
 

Scaramouche

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Oh, OK. No one here judges. I was unsure of the age difference, if any and wondered if you were doing a RP adoption or a RL adoption.

I haven't heard of anyone here doing an adoption. I have a friend who adopted a baby 16 years ago. But that was a baby. I'm not sure the court would recognize an adoption of an adult. I guess it would. It does cost money.
 
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Interesting. It's certainly possible to do. the main things to consider are 1) make sure there's no sexual relationship, so it's not okay to have sex between kids/parents, even in the case of adult adoption (they'd likely reject the application if they believed a sexual relationship exists or existed). 2) Make sure everyone involved is cool with the other person getting your stuff if you die. Morbid, I know, but parent child is one of the closer relationships so unless you make a will explicitly leaving stuff elsewhere, if you kick the bucket and you're not married, the parent/child is getting all your stuff (usually).
 

Tyger

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Do you have a particular question or concern about it living with an AB mommy? Like something that you feel nervous about? Or are you pretty comfortable with the whole thing and are just asking questions about it out of curiosity? Aside from being adopted, which you appear pretty set on that, and the polygamous relationship which also doesn't seem like is a concern to you since you are just looking to be her baby, is there really anything else that you are hoping to get advice on?

Don't forget to brush your teeth.
 

Chibifoxkit

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*Giggles a bit* I'm sorry, I should have been more specific; she's 27 and i'm 20, so there is a bit of an age difference, but her Daddy is 22 so it doesn't matter all too much, we love one another, I'm asexual though. Anyway, as far as the adult adoption goes, it's different between states, like Florida needs to notify the parents of the adoptee while most other states just have it so that both of members of the party are consenting.

But I was more asking about the relationship in general ^-^; keep in mind she's a little herself, but this is a new relationship for both of us, we were just wanting to hear from other AB's and Littles and their caretakers.
 

Tyger

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we love one another, I'm asexual though.

But I was more asking about the relationship in general ^-^; keep in mind she's a little herself, but this is a new relationship for both of us, we were just wanting to hear from other AB's and Littles and their caretakers.

So I think that these two particular topics would be really interesting to get advice on. If anybody here who is in an asexual relationship can chime in, I think that would be informative. I have always imagined that asexual relationships would work out pretty well for an AB that really just wants the babyish aspect of the lifestyle and not the sexual fetish aspect. I could imagine that this would work out pretty well for you since you aren't looking for sex. Personally though, there is a lot that I don't understand about asexual relationships, although I can understand why somebody who is asexual would still want a partner.

Also, I think understanding the dynamic of somebody who is being mommied by another little might be a bit interesting. Does your mommy plan on being taken care of by her daddy? If there are days that daddy is not available, will she be looking to you for a bit of care-taking sometimes? And are you prepared for that? It might not be the case that this happens, since from what I understand, sometimes being in the parental role can cause a little to feel less like a little until the parenting has gone away. It might be that she just feels like being a mommy around you, although I think it is important to understand if that is something that you might be asked to do, a lot of littles who act as a care taker will still sometimes want to be taken care of themselves.
 

Chibifoxkit

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So I think that these two particular topics would be really interesting to get advice on. If anybody here who is in an asexual relationship can chime in, I think that would be informative. I have always imagined that asexual relationships would work out pretty well for an AB that really just wants the babyish aspect of the lifestyle and not the sexual fetish aspect. I could imagine that this would work out pretty well for you since you aren't looking for sex. Personally though, there is a lot that I don't understand about asexual relationships, although I can understand why somebody who is asexual would still want a partner.

Also, I think understanding the dynamic of somebody who is being mommied by another little might be a bit interesting. Does your mommy plan on being taken care of by her daddy? If there are days that daddy is not available, will she be looking to you for a bit of care-taking sometimes? And are you prepared for that? It might not be the case that this happens, since from what I understand, sometimes being in the parental role can cause a little to feel less like a little until the parenting has gone away. It might be that she just feels like being a mommy around you, although I think it is important to understand if that is something that you might be asked to do, a lot of littles who act as a care taker will still sometimes want to be taken care of themselves.

Well as it is, we've discussed a lot about boundaries and the like already, one of them was obviously when she is in little mode (or kitten mode) or even when her Dom is in his puppy mode, one of the easiest things we agreed on was the fact that because I'm not comfortable in a dominant position, I wouldn't have to be in one. Even when she's in a little mode, we've had some seniero's where we've played together n' the like but she still held a bit of dominance over it, for her some of this is sexual, like my punishments, one being sexual and she's a...ah...what's the word, sadist and masochist, her and her Daddy are much more sexual then she and I are, and that's perfectly fine.

We have a lot of lines drawn, and they're are going to be times it's just her and Grandpa, and I told them at point "those'll be the nights i'll take over the living room with the xbox and a can of redbull"

We have things set up, like I can be diapered, even in public (she has a diaperbag *giggles*) and even wet but no scat (which was something we mutually agreed on), she enjoys dry-nursing me, but her partner isn't too comfortable with it, so out of respect, we'd only do it during cuddling time! there are other things like bathtime and naptime that she does with me, I really think we've found a place where we're all happy.

Her partner (Grandpa) and I get along really well, we're both former Air Force and just a lot of shared interests in general. He's just as protective of me as Mommy is, he just shows it differently.

Grandpa, Mommy and I are all in school, Grandpa's going to mechanic school, Mommy's doing online classes and i'm working on my doctoral dissertation for CS, but he's going to school twice a week really far away ((bout a 3 hour drive)) and he also works night, so when he's gone, I keep mommy company!
 

bobbyboy

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Edit

I'm an attorney in New York and I do adoptions. Law vary from state to state, but in most states adult adoption is possible. However, in many states it is not available for folks who are sexually active with each other. So, you need to consult a local attorney about what you can do.
 

dogboy

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I wondered, what happens if you get tired of this relationship? What happens legally if you decide to go your own way? Just putting it out there......
 
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I wondered, what happens if you get tired of this relationship? What happens legally if you decide to go your own way? Just putting it out there......

Like I mentioned earlier, inheritance is the big one. If one enters into an adoption, the parent/child are likely to be heirs of each other (at least until the "child" has their own kids). There are also things like hospital visitation rights for families and possibly some insurance advantages. But, really the main thing is what happens to your stuff if you pass away.
 
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I....ow. Just...ow.

Do your best not to shoot the messenger, if you can.

These are important matters, you're changing the legal relationship between you and another person, which is hard to change and once changed is very hard to undo. So it's worth your while to think about some of the unpleasant things. To think "what happens if somebody gets hurt" or "what if we do run into a problem and need to change around how we're all living?" They're unpleasant thoughts, but it's better to plan now than to hope nothing goes wrong and have no backup in place if things do go wrong.
 

Chibifoxkit

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Do your best not to shoot the messenger, if you can.

These are important matters, you're changing the legal relationship between you and another person, which is hard to change and once changed is very hard to undo. So it's worth your while to think about some of the unpleasant things. To think "what happens if somebody gets hurt" or "what if we do run into a problem and need to change around how we're all living?" They're unpleasant thoughts, but it's better to plan now than to hope nothing goes wrong and have no backup in place if things do go wrong.

While understandable, we've been with one another for some time now, we really wouldn't have been considering this otherwise. But uh, if it's all the same to everyone else, I'd like to focus a bit less on that part as it wasn't the question, just a part of it.
 

Merendin

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While understandable, we've been with one another for some time now, we really wouldn't have been considering this otherwise. But uh, if it's all the same to everyone else, I'd like to focus a bit less on that part as it wasn't the question, just a part of it.


Now you're making us confused o.o In the OP you mentioned that it's "a new relationship for both of us" yet now you said you've been together long time. Care to explain little? :)
 

Chibifoxkit

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Now you're making us confused o.o In the OP you mentioned that it's "a new relationship for both of us" yet now you said you've been together long time. Care to explain little? :)

We've known each other for a long time and have also been in a relationship for a long time, the dynamic is still new to us. If this was something that either of us would want to back out of we'd know it.
 
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