newt
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I have been dealing with IC and wearing diapers 24/7 now for the last 3 years. It has been a long journey, but I've finally gotten to the point I am comfortable with wearing and dealing with the issues. I've learned a lot the last three years from my own experience and from sites like this one. As I'm sure many of you have learned the hard way, becoming IC is very much like being thrown into the deep end with very little help and guidance. Even though a lot of the things I'm going to discuss is shared often on this forum, I wanted to give my own advice and thoughts. My problems started when I was single. But since then, I have met a girl, got engaged, and even won my first trial--all in diapers. Even if it makes at least one person's experience easier it will be worth it. And feel free to add your own thoughts.
The beginning of the journey is the absolute worst. At least for me, even though I went to my doctor and then urologists, none of them EVER gave any guidance about protection and what to do in the mean time. They just wanted to do tests. Which, of course, I did to, but I still was lost on which diapers to buy, how to help with rashes, how to hide it etc. And even if you are given the perfect diaper for yourself, it doesnt do anything to help your shame, fear of being found out, and thinking that literally everyone can see the bulge, hear the crinkles, and smell everything. So, if you are just starting your own journey, here is what I have learned and tips and tricks.
1. Choose the Right Diaper
First, you need to find the right diaper. (As a side note, I will only refer to diapers as diapers. I cannot stand when people and doctors use words like "briefs" or "pads." To me, they refer to the same thing, but imply diapers are somehow shameful. Optometrists don't make up different names for glasses and contacts). What you will want will change by the amount of accidents and the volume. But will never change is the best diaper for you is the one that fits the best. A poor fitting heavy brief will leak before a perfect fitting lesser brief.
My advice is to order samples of a few different brands (make sure you get two sizes of each brand if you are even close to being in between). I recommend samples from LLMedico and Northshore. I also learned the hard way to not fear bulk. At first it seems like the thicker diapers must be OBVIOUS to everyone. But unless you wear tight clothes, nobody notices. Seriously, the greatest lesson I learned from wearing is that nobody ever notices anything. But having a slightly thicker diaper means less leaks, less diaper changes, and much less stress. But thats not to say that smaller, more discreet diapers don't have their place. Now this list is different for everyone, but this is what I found works best for me.
Workhorse Diaper: Northshore Megamax. To me, best on the market. Fits me perfectly. Never leaks. Despite being thick, I think they are less bulgy than others. I wear these for work (when no court), going out, and anytime I need more protection.
Discrete/Cloth Backed Diaper: I love Seni Super Quattro. They fit me well. Hold a lot. Make NO noise. I use these for working out/physical activity, with clothes/situations I can't get away a megamax.
Suit Diaper: This may not apply to everyone, but if you need to wear suits, it may help. I use Northshore Supreme LITES. Definitely do not hold as much, but fortunately, I almost always have court in the morning, so I just skip coffee and try to limit water intake as much as possible (PSA: DO NOT use this method for daily life. You think it makes sense, but limiting water makes pee smell worse and definitely will irritate your skin faster).
Other diapers I've tried that I didn't like for different reasons but recommend trying: (1) Betterdry. These are definitely nice, but despite having a 36 inch waist, neither medium nor large fit me right. Worth a try. (2) Dry 24/7. Used to be my main choice. They fit well, but quality has definitely seems to go down. Still a good diaper. (3) Abriform (M3 and M4): Same as Dry 24/7. Good diapers, but quality seems to have gone down hill.
Avoid at all costs (unless you have EXTREMELY minor leaks): (1) Anything from CVs/Walgreens. As reliable as putting paper towels in your underwear. (2) Tranquility ATNs. Better than CVS/Walgreens brands but still unreliable and sound like maracas each step.
2. Take Care of Your Skin
Trust me, if you haven't gotten diaper rash, do whatever you can to avoid it. Keep your skin clean. Everytime you change, make sure you wipe well. That sounds obvious, but wow is it important. Use the adult-size wipes. The baby ones are fine in a pinch, but small.
Barrier Cream: This is super important. You can try different ones, but the one I found that has worked perfect for me the last 2 years (that first year without it was horrible) is the 3M Cavilon Durable Barrier Cream. Best on the market. If it stops being sold I will be devastated.
Cleansing Cream: Also very important. You don't need to use for EVERY change (I don't bring it with me in public). I usually do it in the morning before I shower and before I put on my last diaper before bed. I use the TENA cleansing cream, but I think other brands are good as well.
3. Be Patient With Yourself
After dealing with this for a while, I look back and laugh at myself thinking how nervous I was about having to wear diapers. I thought they were so obvious it was a spotlight. I wondered how I would date. But people are so involved in their own world when out in public, they are not looking at the diaper bulge. And if they do, most will assume it is a trick of the eye. And on the off chance they do notice, they will most likely never say anything.
But that is not my advice. Until you learn this from experience, it is just words. My advice is to be patient with yourself. Its ok to feel ashamed. Nervous. Scared. I was. Start small. But don't stop or hide. You will become comfortable at your own pace. But don't let it win. You're not a lesser human because of it. It will NOT stop you from finding love or acceptance. I've already wrote a novel but I could write another on dating.
Anyway. If you've read this far, I hope it helps. I barely scratched the surface, so I would be happy to answer other questions and look forward to people sharing their own advice. Like I said, forums like these helped me, so I owe it to try to share my own knowledge and experiences.
The beginning of the journey is the absolute worst. At least for me, even though I went to my doctor and then urologists, none of them EVER gave any guidance about protection and what to do in the mean time. They just wanted to do tests. Which, of course, I did to, but I still was lost on which diapers to buy, how to help with rashes, how to hide it etc. And even if you are given the perfect diaper for yourself, it doesnt do anything to help your shame, fear of being found out, and thinking that literally everyone can see the bulge, hear the crinkles, and smell everything. So, if you are just starting your own journey, here is what I have learned and tips and tricks.
1. Choose the Right Diaper
First, you need to find the right diaper. (As a side note, I will only refer to diapers as diapers. I cannot stand when people and doctors use words like "briefs" or "pads." To me, they refer to the same thing, but imply diapers are somehow shameful. Optometrists don't make up different names for glasses and contacts). What you will want will change by the amount of accidents and the volume. But will never change is the best diaper for you is the one that fits the best. A poor fitting heavy brief will leak before a perfect fitting lesser brief.
My advice is to order samples of a few different brands (make sure you get two sizes of each brand if you are even close to being in between). I recommend samples from LLMedico and Northshore. I also learned the hard way to not fear bulk. At first it seems like the thicker diapers must be OBVIOUS to everyone. But unless you wear tight clothes, nobody notices. Seriously, the greatest lesson I learned from wearing is that nobody ever notices anything. But having a slightly thicker diaper means less leaks, less diaper changes, and much less stress. But thats not to say that smaller, more discreet diapers don't have their place. Now this list is different for everyone, but this is what I found works best for me.
Workhorse Diaper: Northshore Megamax. To me, best on the market. Fits me perfectly. Never leaks. Despite being thick, I think they are less bulgy than others. I wear these for work (when no court), going out, and anytime I need more protection.
Discrete/Cloth Backed Diaper: I love Seni Super Quattro. They fit me well. Hold a lot. Make NO noise. I use these for working out/physical activity, with clothes/situations I can't get away a megamax.
Suit Diaper: This may not apply to everyone, but if you need to wear suits, it may help. I use Northshore Supreme LITES. Definitely do not hold as much, but fortunately, I almost always have court in the morning, so I just skip coffee and try to limit water intake as much as possible (PSA: DO NOT use this method for daily life. You think it makes sense, but limiting water makes pee smell worse and definitely will irritate your skin faster).
Other diapers I've tried that I didn't like for different reasons but recommend trying: (1) Betterdry. These are definitely nice, but despite having a 36 inch waist, neither medium nor large fit me right. Worth a try. (2) Dry 24/7. Used to be my main choice. They fit well, but quality has definitely seems to go down. Still a good diaper. (3) Abriform (M3 and M4): Same as Dry 24/7. Good diapers, but quality seems to have gone down hill.
Avoid at all costs (unless you have EXTREMELY minor leaks): (1) Anything from CVs/Walgreens. As reliable as putting paper towels in your underwear. (2) Tranquility ATNs. Better than CVS/Walgreens brands but still unreliable and sound like maracas each step.
2. Take Care of Your Skin
Trust me, if you haven't gotten diaper rash, do whatever you can to avoid it. Keep your skin clean. Everytime you change, make sure you wipe well. That sounds obvious, but wow is it important. Use the adult-size wipes. The baby ones are fine in a pinch, but small.
Barrier Cream: This is super important. You can try different ones, but the one I found that has worked perfect for me the last 2 years (that first year without it was horrible) is the 3M Cavilon Durable Barrier Cream. Best on the market. If it stops being sold I will be devastated.
Cleansing Cream: Also very important. You don't need to use for EVERY change (I don't bring it with me in public). I usually do it in the morning before I shower and before I put on my last diaper before bed. I use the TENA cleansing cream, but I think other brands are good as well.
3. Be Patient With Yourself
After dealing with this for a while, I look back and laugh at myself thinking how nervous I was about having to wear diapers. I thought they were so obvious it was a spotlight. I wondered how I would date. But people are so involved in their own world when out in public, they are not looking at the diaper bulge. And if they do, most will assume it is a trick of the eye. And on the off chance they do notice, they will most likely never say anything.
But that is not my advice. Until you learn this from experience, it is just words. My advice is to be patient with yourself. Its ok to feel ashamed. Nervous. Scared. I was. Start small. But don't stop or hide. You will become comfortable at your own pace. But don't let it win. You're not a lesser human because of it. It will NOT stop you from finding love or acceptance. I've already wrote a novel but I could write another on dating.
Anyway. If you've read this far, I hope it helps. I barely scratched the surface, so I would be happy to answer other questions and look forward to people sharing their own advice. Like I said, forums like these helped me, so I owe it to try to share my own knowledge and experiences.