Adult Baby. A Personal Identity or simply just a kink/fetish.

syddiaperguy

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Hi

I have been playqued by this question for the last year or so. Whilst some people will simply say that AB/DL is no more than a fetish or kink. In my opinion I believe it is more than this. I have had the desire to wear diapers since the age of five at this age I would not have been sexually active so therefore I don't understand how this could be put simply as a fetish. Please read my below story and my current situation.


I’m just putting this out to the universe, Hoping that someone will be able to assist me.
I would like to first start by thanking you for taking the time to read this email.

Pre Seperation
I’m a 38 year old male. Ever since a young age of 5 I have always had the desire to wear adult nappies. My parents split up when I was at a young age. This could have been the reason perhaps as to why this occurred. I wear from time to time when I feel like it. They provide comfort to me.
I have two children one boy who is 4 and one girl who is 8. In 2017 I ended a 12 year relationship with a woman 2 years older than me. I had to leave my home due to domestic violence in the form of verbal, emotional and physical that constantly being exhibitied towards me by my ex partner in front of my children.
We started our relationship 2005, Approx 1 month in, I told my partner that I found comfort in wearing adult diapers. At this part of my life I was quite embarrassed about it and not many people knew this secret of mine. She decided to stay in the relationship. I wore adult diapers from time to time.
A few years later in 2010, We had our first child together. At the same time, she started studying at university and wasn’t working much if at all. As the man of the house, I stood up and worked 3 jobs. 1 fulltime job and 2 casual jobs mostly 7 days a week in order to pay the bills and provide for my family. Everyday comprised of me going to work and returning home straight after work to cook, look after my children and put them too bed.
In 2014 We had our second child despite her still knowing that I was wearing she decided to stay in the relationship with me.
In 2015, I read some books in relation to self acceptance of my AB/DL side. I was 34 years old at the time. I realised that I had been doing this all my life and was ashamed of it. I came to realise that this was a small part of me and that acceptance of this was the only way to move forward and enjoy a happy life.
Over the next year I worked towards self acceptance. My ex partner would always abuse me and call me names, She would say things like “ You are a piece of shit, “ “You are a discrace to your famiiy.” I pushed on as I felt that it was my right to be the person I wanted to be and live life like I should.
As I grew to accept myself, I started coming out to people and explaining that I was AB/DL. This included close family, friends and work friends. Everyone I told was accepting of me. I was a good person and people didn’t seem to mind. I could definatly sympathise and understand what people in minority groups such as and not limited LBGTQI, had to go through and battles they face. It does feel great and I feel liberated. I have never been happier. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud to be different. I love to support people within the community.
When I wore adult nappies from time to time, They would always be worn under my clothing and I would never put this in anyone’s face. To me it was a personal choice of underwear and my liberty to do so. I felt like I was being controlled in how I lived my life. Consequently we had a disfunctional relationship, our relationship ended.
In late 2017 I decided to start an AB/DL supply business as there was limited supply for AB/DL community. My ex said that it is “A stupid idea of a business.”

Post Seperation
As stated above our relationship ended in 2017, When she punched me in the chest, In the presence of the children.
My parents told me to move in with them to escape the domestic violence that was being exhibited towards me.
During the first 6 months I was paying for everything including half the mortgage, child care fees and half the utilities of my former household.
I was staying on my dad’s farm. I was taking the children for overnight visits every couple of weekends. Despite my ex knowing my AB/DL side this did not worry her.
At the start of 2018 I began to speak to my ex about settling our property. She never wanted to entertain that thought and would always put it off.
In May 2018 I had no option but too seek legal services in settling our property dispute.
My Ex engaged her lawyer, June 2018. My ex attended a physcholgist who made a diagnosis of me without even seeing me. Based on this diagnosis of me “ Suffering from a paraphillia.” My ex ceased all visitations of overnight stay’s for children at my place.
This was terribly disturbing for both my children and I. My children deeply loved me and enjoyed spending time with me.
My ex was only letting me see them at her whim. Usually she would deny me access to them.
In late December 2018 we came to final property settlement and signed consent orders. We also signed interim parenting orders. Which allowed me to see the children one evening per week to take them out to dinner and every Sunday afternoon. This arrangement although not great allowed me to spend regular time with the children. We agreed to terms that I would not expose this to the children. Which I abided by and never did.
At the start of 2019 My ex released her affitdavit’s. She was absolutely brutal. She obtained photographs from my Instagram business page. She obtained photographs from a business that I was cross promoting (a dungeon/AB/DL Nursery), As I was selling some products to them tied all the services that this business offers to my personal behaviours. I believe she did this so that I would capitulate and give up.
When I received my property settlement of $28,000 in early March this went straight to my lawyers trust account as that is what I owed him. In early April I had no choice but to self represent as I could not afford legal representation anymore.
During a recent case hearing In April 2019, The judge came out and was disappointed that I was still having unsupervised visits with the children. She strongly suggested that this change sooner rather than later. The Independent Children’s lawyer also saw the exhibits my ex had filed. I tried explaining to the ICL that these were not my website however he did not listen. I felt he was not educated and discriminated against me and said he would support supervised only orders be imposed on me.
After speaking with a duty lawyer it was explained that I either try and fight supervised visits being imposed on me or try and agree with other party on terms in relation to having supervised visits. The ICL was able to get the other party to agree to paying $100 per visit and I cover the rest. After considering these terms I agreed to having the supervised visits and signed the consent orders. I felt as though I had no option but to do so.
I’m so upset and disappointed. My children love me dearly and due to discrimination against me I can no longer spend quality time with them. Time I spend with them I must pay for. For now the only time I get to spend with them is with someone watching over my shoulder and listening to my conversations. I feel like a criminal… I have done nothing wrong, but be myself. I consider AB/DL not to be a fetish at all but more a minority identity.
I’m praying that there would be someone out there passionate about my situation of being discriminated against, That would like to take on this case.
 
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Trevor

Est. Contributor
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Babyfur
I think to cast it as x vs. y, this but not that misses the point. We're a diverse bunch of weirdos and for some it can be a fetish and nothing more (which is plenty). For others, it might be a fetish in the sense of a fixation or enduring need but not particularly sexual or not sexual at all. I would say rather than worrying about what applies generally to ABDLs, think specifically about how it applies to you. The significant part is less about how you experience it and why but in whether it has a negative impact on your life and well being and if this can be turned to something positive.

As an example, I would say its focus for me is sexual, despite having prepubescent origins. The feelings of excitement I had as a child were sexual, even if I didn't know how to classify them myself at the time. I'm a non-regressive, sexually motivated ABDL. It still occupies a substantial amount of my interest outside of sex and I think to say it's "just a fetish" is to give short shrift to all the potential impacts of a fetish. Regardless, whether fetish or something else, I think its impact on my life is now largely positive because I have worked to make it so. It's a substantial part of me and my life has improved by embracing it, even as I recognize it is pretty odd.

Accept that oddness isn't bad by itself and you're on the road to making something better of it.
 

Drifter

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I wish I could help you. All I can offer is the discoveries I've made in 50 years of searching for answers as to "why". This will be little consolation to you as you struggle through the ultimate ABDL nightmare: Brutal character assassination by vindictive assholes, and legally imposed, horrendous punishment based on misunderstanding some harmless desires you have; desires implanted in you through no fault of your own.

syddiaperguy said:
I have been playqued by this question for the last year or so. Whilst some people will simply say that AB/DL is no more than a fetish or kink. In my opinion I believe it is more than this. I have had the desire to wear diapers since the age of five at this age I would not have been sexually active so therefore I don't understand how this could be put simply as a fetish.
"Fetish" is a label that has various psychological, emotional, quasi-scientific, and quasi-legal connotations, leading to confusion and disagreement as to what it actually means. Most people will agree that "fetish" refers to an object that has some connection to individual sexuality. This vague definition is good enough for me based on things I've learned over the years, and it's the definition I'll use.

It is seen as completely acceptable for men to have a fetish for certain female body parts, such as breasts, butts, and legs. Heterosexual fetishes like these are the only ones that are generally considered normal and natural. Western society is currently in the process of trying to enforce this same level of acceptance for people who have a fetish for same-sex partners. Fetishes involving children is seen as completely unacceptable and subject to severe criminal punishment. Other fetishes are judged according to their disgust factor. Sado/masochism, feet, leather, plastic, and other such fetishes are generally accepted as harmless kinks as long as they only involve consenting adults. Most people have difficulty accepting fetishes involving feces, urine, other bodily fluids, or diapers, because of the disgust factor.

What I have learned is that, despite the apparent and significant social differences we see in these various fetishes, they all have the same, natural origin. Not only that, but, even though they have a strong sexual element, they are implanted in our subconscious by a process known as imprinting long before we reach sexual maturity.

I agree with your opinion that ABDL is more than just a fetish. Some would deny any fetish element at all in their desires, based on their defintion of "fetish". As I see it, none of the fetishes above operate in a vacuum. They all contribute one way or another to the complex pattern of an individual's social relationships that involve much more than just sexuality. It some cases, sexuality may not be much of a factor at all.

I don't know if any of this will help you. This knowledge has helped my self acceptance, but you have already reached a level of self acceptance that surpasses mine. You will no doubt keep taking any legal path, if any, you can find and afford. The harsh reality may be that all you can do is maintain the best relationship you can with your children under these circumstances until they reach the age of 18 when they will be legally free to see you whenever they want.
 
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syddiaperguy

Contributor
Messages
5
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I wish I could help you. All I can offer is the discoveries I've made in 50 years of searching for answers as to "why". This will be little consolation to you as you struggle through the ultimate ABDL nightmare: Brutal character assassination by vindictive assholes, and legally imposed, horrendous punishment based on misunderstanding some harmless desires you have; desires implanted in you through no fault of your own.



"Fetish" is a label that has various psychological, emotional, quasi-scientific, and quasi-legal connotations, leading to confusion and disagreement as to what it actually means. Most people will agree that "fetish" refers to an object that has some connection to individual sexuality. This vague definition is good enough for me based on things I've learned over the years, and it's the definition I'll use.

It is seen as completely acceptable for men to have a fetish for certain female body parts, such as breasts, butts, and legs. Heterosexual fetishes like these are the only ones that are generally considered normal and natural. Western society is currently in the process of trying to enforce this same level of acceptance for people who have a fetish for same-sex partners. Fetishes involving children is seen as completely unacceptable and subject to severe criminal punishment. Other fetishes are judged according to their disgust factor. Sado/masochism, feet, leather, plastic, and other such fetishes are generally accepted as harmless kinks as long as they only involve consenting adults. Most people have difficulty accepting fetishes involving feces, urine, other bodily fluids, or diapers, because of the disgust factor.

What I have learned is that, despite the apparent and significant social differences we see in these various fetishes, they all have the same, natural origin. Not only that, but, even though they have a strong sexual element, they are implanted in our subconscious by a process known as imprinting long before we reach sexual maturity.

I agree with your opinion that ABDL is more than just a fetish. Some would deny any fetish element at all in their desires, based on their defintion of "fetish". As I see it, none of the fetishes above operate in a vacuum. They all contribute one way or another to the complex pattern of an individual's social relationships that involve much more than just sexuality. It some cases, sexuality may not be much of a factor at all.

I don't know if any of this will help you. This knowledge has helped my self acceptance, but you have already reached a level of self acceptance that surpasses mine. You will no doubt keep taking any legal path, if any, you can find and afford. The harsh reality may be that all you can do is maintain the best relationship you can with your children under these circumstances until they reach the age of 18 when they will be legally free to see you whenever they want.

Well said, thanks for taking the time to not only read my story but also reply.
 

MrGnome

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32
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
Damn that would be my worst nightmare. Luckily my wife is also an ab/dl. So I don't think this would ever happen. How is that even legal her punishing you for a fetish you do not engage with your children? Is the same thing if someone likes bdsm but only does privately so kids don't see it. This is really fucked up! You sound like a great father to your kids! I can't believe she can get away with that! I'm so sorry you had go through this. My wife and I struggle if we should have kids. I certainly don't want them now but in about 5 years we might. And only thing holding us back is what happened to you. I would never dream of exposing by fetish to my kids. It would be really weird. I might even stop using diapers until their potty trained just so I don't influence them. I am no pedo and really don't want my kids to have to go through the pain of having this fetish. This is why it took me soo long to find a partner. I always worried I could land up with woman that wouldn't accept my fetish and would out me to everyone. So only mostly dated other ab/dl or bdsm people out of fear. Luckily I found my wife but not many others are so lucky like I was. I could hardly believe it when it happened.

But I have suggestion on your business and might make your business more attracted to customers. Since hemp has became legal this year from the farm bill.

You should try to find a way to make hemp biodegradable plastic disposable diapers for abdls. This would make abdls feel better about filling up landfills. It should also make them stronger and may eliminate sag. I also offer white and plain colors for daytime use for abdls that want to be discrete in the day. This only problem with tykables. While I love the baby prints I only wear them at night to avoid embarrassment in the day. But I love the design of the tykables diaper and would wear them day and night if they also offered a white or blue plain type. Also I would suggest using tykables loop and hoop velcro tapes. This makes my diapers last longer.
 

dogboy

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I think instead of trying to divide diaper desires into two halves, fetish and non fetish, it's more illuminating to divide it into diaper lover and adult baby. Even this is incomplete especially as many of us experience both, a physical attraction to the diaper and a more emotional attachment to regression and feeling babyish. Using labels, no matter how artificial, does add some understanding as to why we feel the way we do.
 

syddiaperguy

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Thank you so to everyone that has so far taking the time to read my post as well as reply to it.

I really feel as though and it is only my opinion that we as AB/DL'S are at a stage in regards to being a minority group / community similar to what being homosexual and or other minority identities experienced 20 or 30 years ago total misunderstanding and preconceived ideas made from bias and condemnation of being attracted to members of the same sex. In Australia in the late 70s it was actually illegal to be homosexual and people displaying affection to the same sex in public would be put in jail. It is amazing how far this community has come in regards to now from last year being able to able to marry which I think is amazing. this situation would never have changed if there weren't people willing to stand up for their rights for civil liberties and freedom to be and live life how they like.

I would never at any point of time say that we have the right to walk around in nappies and onesies in public because we are putting our beliefs on to others that do not consent to it however I think my goal is that if ab/dl was recognised as a minority identity rather than a kink/fetish I believe I would be in a better situation in my legal situation as it would be seen to be something similar to what the homosexuality is a minority identity.

I'm constantly being bombarded from my ex partner and her lawyer see him that I need therapeutic expert psychological treatment. I work a full time job a part-time job I also run a business have a girlfriend and maintain a relationship with my children.

I will have to see an expert report writer in the next couple of months this is a psychologist and mind you this will cost me just under $6,000 Australian and that's just my half.
 

dogboy

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I grew up in the late '60s and was in a gay relationship while in college. The college I attended suspected I was gay (actually I'm bi) and declared I was a danger to the student body. They made me live off campus. My mom discovered some gay porn in my bedroom at home and made me see a psychiatrist. Those were dangerous times to be in a gay relationship. It's never been easy being a minority because society can be both cruel and violent.

I was going through some poetry I wrote when I was in college this this final line in a poem I wrote so many years ago startled me.

" Being 12 means you can love anyone because no one told you you couldn't."
 

littleSorcerer

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
I don't really know what to say. what backwards country are you from that considers a fetish reason enough to deprive a responsible adult (I assume) and his children from the right to spend time together? (I know you said it wasn't a fetish for you but even if it was, why would that be a problem?)

I think someone once made an April fools joke on losing their children over abdl on this site. Guess the joke's on us.

Persist my friend. Persist. Continue doing what you can to do well by your children and remember to take some time to try to have fun in life. Especially in these hard times

I wish you luck.
 

neophyte

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Holy hell @syddiaperguy your story is an absolute nightmare.

It's absurd how costly and time consuming a separation is. I also cannot comprehend how anyone or any court would deny you equal rights to be with your children unless you willing gave those rights up; they are your children and you've done nothing wrong. I would be devastated in your position.

It's just a god damn diaper, they are sold in every pharmacy and every supermarket, they are worn by millions of people and there are copious amounts of stories of kids and adults wanting to wear a diaper.

ABDL is becoming so evident that large distributors are opening up and are very accepting.


Northshore (one of if not the largest distributors in USA) is well aware of ABDL. ABDL is becoming more and more common, so common that they have a statement and have opened up to ABDL.




Healthwick (one of if not the largest distributors in Canada). Here's a statement from the director of marketing.

Healthwick is Canada's largest online retailer of incontinence products, and so we've found we have a lot of ABDL customers. Certainly not the majority or even a large minority, but a significant percentage.





Agecomfort (another large online company) carries ABDL diapers along with their medical diapers. They once had an ABDL section but they ended up blending ABDL diapers in with medical diapers.




All of these respectable companies are seeing the volume/demand and the demand is so high (not just a few 100 ABDLs) that they are putting their reputation on the line and listing ABDL printed diapers.

I'd love to see the facial reaction of non ABDLs when they see Crinkklz lol.



WE DO NOT NEED THERAPY


PS -
And the fact that ABDL retail stores are surviving in a world where most people order diapers online for discreetness goes to show how large of a community we are.
 
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Proudmommyofab

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I highly doubt a person would be denied their children if they wore diapers for incontinence (sp?) due to defect/injury/age/illness; it’s absolutely ridiculous you’re being persecuted because your reason for wearing them is unsalient to the masses. Truly horrible. My condolences!
 

crooke3

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Little
Im new to this but im getting the idea that we ALL have an inner child, and you either beat it down or let it free. Most people do the first.

Everyone needs to feel like a baby sometimes.

So its a bit like LGBT but the difference is that we’re only a minority in our decision to embrace this part of us, whereas jus having a little side isnt unique at all. We just make life so good for our little ones these days that wanting to step back into that world is a no brainer, and as far as i can tell it makes me a happier and more relaxed person, especially now that i am getting over the shame and paranoia.

I could still never tell anyone i know but i guess i would if someone was blackmailing me like your ex wife.

What youre going through is horrible, i feel sorry for your ex wife too that her mind is so full of poison and hatred, you obviously loved her and what shes doing is hurting her too. The upside is you dont need to resent her that much, she’s going to have a very cold and empty life if she does what you say she does.

Your kids will still love you when theyre old enough to make all their own choices, all you can do til then is fight and make the most of every moment you can get.
 

syddiaperguy

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Thank you very much to everyone for reply on this thread and the support that you have given me.

My dad and my family will support me through this and I think embracing my little side and being able to regress sometimes has helped me to deal with this terrible situation in my life.

I have repartnered and waltz my new partner is not abdl she supports my lifestyle choices and loves me for who I am that's all that anyone could ever want in life.

I still continue to have supervised visits meaning that I have to pay to see my children it cost me about $170 a week and I have somebody over my shoulder listening to and documenting all the conversations between my children. I I'm not allowed to take them to the toilet during my visits as I would have done before all this nonsense started. One good thing of supervised visits is that I get a report that is shows how much my children love me.

It is also been empowering as an abdl supply business has helped me to meet so many people and help them and embrace / self accept their abdl side.

Everyday is kinda like an ongoing battle never ends all I want is to be able to spend time with my kids and pass on to them what I know example my son who is nearly 5 years old but loves working with tools. as I am a heavy diesel mechanic I have plenty of tools and would love to build different projects with him and teach him life skills he can use.

Once again thank you very much for your help and support means a lot.
 

diaperfooties

🍼
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561
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Babyfur, Little
Devorcie is pure hell. I am sorry you had to go through that it's sad your ex has to be such a cunt (sorry no other word for it). Without a doubt it is more than just a fetish I think for most abdl this is true. I have so many emotions attached to abdl it is a part of who I am and I would not change it even if I could.

Keep moving forward and do what you can to enjoy life. Be proud to be abdl which I know can be very difficult at times.
 
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