Adult Babies and Depression...

[caitianx]

As an Adult Baby, I deal with Depression most of the time. It seems to be related to extreme guilt and shame related to feelings and desires regarding regression. Another trigger is my natural tendency to make mistakes all the time in socialization as a person with the lifelong disability of Autism. I am feeling really bad that I am a baby, and that I am an Autistic with the real cognitive social functioning level of an 8 year-old.

 

[abkresus]

Hmm for the ABDL side I'm saying myself that I prefere wear diapers and get baby times than being addict to drug or alcool, after all, if we want it and if it's not dangerous for health, that's not so bad.

 

[boobybird89]

How long have you been wearing diapers caitianx? I too have autism (though its relatively mild) and I understand socialization issues as I've always had difficulty in crowds of strangers and talking to people I don't know. I'm not an adult baby by any stretch of the imagination, I wear at night because I'm a bedwetter.. but if you are keeping this in the privacy of your own home you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed or even depressed about it. If you are an adult baby out in public and you are feeling depressed, then something ain't working for you.

Ya deserve to be happy and proud of you

 

[Tyger]

I'm sorry you feel this way caitianx. I think I can say that I have felt similar in some ways, I know what it is like to be depressed about my baby side anyway. I think the biggest depressing thing for me was fear of relationships as an Adult baby, but I slowly got over it by deciding that being in a relationship didn't determine my ability to be happy, although it has taken a long time to convince myself of that, and I sometimes still relapse. I don't think there is any real reason for being ashamed of the adult baby side of one's self, sure there are side effects, but there are also positive things too, like how relaxed and calm you get to be when you baby out.

I really don't know if there is a great way to fight off depression, but I have always heard that exercise helps, also eating healthy.

Know what though, here is the number one thing. Just because you are autistic and have a tough time with the social world, does not mean you are a failure. Out of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, humanity is the one that is so smart, that we are too dumb to see how we have complicated our lives with social requirements and obligations. What does a lion do all day? Eat, sleep, chase things, mate, it is a pretty simple life. Humans on the other hand have to pay taxes and argue about if it is right for two unknown people of the same gender to be allowed to have a document that puts them on the same social standing as everyone else. Frankly, humanity screwed up life when they started to introduce all of the complexity. Sure there are a lot of advantages and necessary things about social interaction, but man! There is a lot of unnecessary crap that got thrown in too, and a lot of expectations towards people that don't need to be there. So if you are failing at meeting a social expectation because it is beyond your control, give it the bird, a lion doesn't know how to socialize in the culture we have, but it is pretty damn awesome anyway(weird analogy, i know). Just figure out what makes you unique and cool, and be proud of that. Think of a few of your favorite simple pleasures, and enjoy that you get to have those.

Good luck. Depression sucks.

 

[egor]

Hello caitianx

I am also on the Autism spectrum and have depression and when I joined the group I too had the same feelings.

The thing that my therapist taught me was to change the mental perspective from a negative view to a positive view.

The ABDL is something that is not going to go away. If it has a potential to help you relieve the stress that the autism causes and you are doing it in private then it is not an issue but a coping mechanism. So use that to your advantage. if life is getting you own and getting padded helps you escape and relax then do that in that frame of reference.

It will help the feelings go away, reduce anxiety and lessen the depression.

 

[boobybird89]

Well said egor. I often forget how easily the stress of the world melts away in a diaper!

 

[ozbub]

:hugs: caitianx hang in there bud.

 

[Snivy]

Hang in there bud, we are right here for you.

 

[bohemian85]

Hey mate, sorry to hear you're not feeling your best right now, hopefully you'll be feeling better in the near future.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but are there any trends or similarities in these "social mistakes" you mentioned?

 

[caitianx]

Depression is pretty-much comorbid with us older autistic adults. Guilt and self-punishment for making social functioning mistakes tends to be cumulative, and at times it overwhelms me. I go for periods of time feeling ok, then I just up and emotionally "crash & burn" for a day or so before I feel ok again. Being an Adult Baby is only a small part of my life. Oh! I guess I did suffer a childhood abuse PTSD flashback yesterday, which makes me feel ashamed for not being stoic and strong, as an older man.

 

[KieronGryph]

I'm surprised to see so many other people with autism. I'm autistic too, on the less social side of it unfortunately.
I've never been open about it, I have a tendency to keep banging my head against my problems, and it does indeed get depressing sometimes.

I'm taking a couple of prescriptions for my occasional depression, but it's my faith that really gets me through.
I also do a lot of daydreaming in my free time.

I'm not sure if any of this helps, I don't know anyone around your age, but hang in there. Like Ozbub and Snivy said, we're here for ya.

 

[rusalka]

I am diagnosed with ADS and depression. I am pretty much chaotic and disorganieded. I have an abusive childhood, too. I try to do outside activied the the daylight everyday and go out meeting people twice a week. Due to my incontinence, I am always siapered.

Rusalka

 

[KittyninjaW]

As an Adult Baby, I deal with Depression most of the time. It seems to be related to extreme guilt and shame related to feelings and desires regarding regression. Another trigger is my natural tendency to make mistakes all the time in socialization as a person with the lifelong disability of Autism. I am feeling really bad that I am a baby, and that I am an Autistic with the real cognitive social functioning level of an 8 year-old.

I can relate, caitianx, I have asbergers/high functioning austim, and I make mistakes too all the time, and I like to ware dresses, and stuff, in addition, to me beaing a guy, I have a bipolar brother, I also might have depression but I don't know, but you know what, I take my meds and live life anyway, sure I make mistakes, and I have the inner critic that criticise everything I do, but I can do it and so can you, also noones perfect, everyone has flaws, I will prey for you, but first, KITTY SHADOW CLONE HUGPILE!!!! :hugpile: from me to you.

 

[caitianx]

I can relate, caitianx, I have asbergers/high functioning austim, and I make mistakes too all the time, and I like to ware dresses, and stuff, in addition, to me beaing a guy, I have a bipolar brother, I also might have depression but I don't know, but you know what, I take my meds and live life anyway, sure I make mistakes, and I have the inner critic that criticise everything I do, but I can do it and so can you, also noones perfect, everyone has flaws, I will prey for you, but first, KITTY SHADOW CLONE HUGPILE!!!! :hugpile: from me to you.

Medication only goes so far with alleviating depression. I have been on Lexapro for a decade. Being so darn social functioning impaired, I lurch from social screw-up to screw-up, and never seem to learn. I am so rigid and inflexible.

 

[dogboy]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, caitianx. I'm not autistic nor do I suffer from a lot of problems, but my wife has a lot of physical problems. She's diabetic and recently had her right leg amputated. I'm her dialysis partner, and I just got her on the dialysis machine. We do home dialysis.

It can be very difficult to have good days, one after another when physical challenges are involved. Together, we find the things which bring us some joy, and try to do them. We keep it simple, like watching television in the morning, reading, drinking coffee or tea. Sometimes we go out to dinner. I have my music, something we both enjoy. Occasionally we get out, but my wife has a lot of doctor's appointments during the day.

Wearing diapers and regressing has helped me cope with a lot of stress, so I hope you stop feeling guilty about diapers and regression. It's my way of taking life's lemons and making lemonade. It doesn't harm anyone, and it makes me happy. As for social skills, I can shoot of my mouth off before thinking, so I've learned to be a better listener. Listening to others is always appreciated by those who have something to say. Then being thoughtful in the response will make people appreciate you. It's just a thought, and good luck.

 

[KittyninjaW]

Medication only goes so far with alleviating depression. I have been on Lexapro for a decade. Being so darn social functioning impaired, I lurch from social screw-up to screw-up, and never seem to learn. I am so rigid and inflexible.

I understand, and so am I, oh and my fellow Kittyninja, KieronGryph, is right like osbub and Snivy said were here for you, especially me, your fellow autistic, KittyninjaW.

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By the way everything is going to be alright.

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Also in case your wondering I fall under the more social side of austim and I have asbergers/HFA. (Hyfinated because according to the scientific community it's lumped together.)

 

[mewte]

I feel you here, I really do. I have depression and social anxiety (and a few other things) and I always have a hard time trying to accept myself. I'm fine with anyone elses kinks, but when it comes to myself, I just feel gross and embarrassed and ashamed of myself for liking the things that I do. I feel like the ab/dl lifestyle is a big part of who I am, because I've always been pretty childish and a kid at heart, its normal for me to like kiddy things. But a lot of what I WANT to do, I can't. And even if I could, I'd still feel ashamed. My boyfriend is very, very open minded and he thinks me liking diapers and kiddy things is adorable, bless his heart. But I just wish I was able to come to terms with it myself. I wish I was in the right place where I could indulge and experiment with things I like and learn to love myself more.

 

[boobybird89]

We're all here to help you mewte!

 

[caitianx]

I am feeling a bit better. I tend to severely socially withdraw inwards much more than my Autistic disabled self and I really tend to emotionally beat myself up.

 

[boobybird89]

Glad you're feeling better, caitianx You seem like a really cool guy the times that I've talked to ya!