Admitting / Involving Your Partner

[neophyte]

I have been married for 5 years, I have also been a DL my entire life. I just recently discovered ABDL diapers and I am now wearing more often and the odd AB play when I'm alone.

I think I might have a chance with exposing some mild AB stuff I do (wearing rompers/onesie), but the DL part will be tough. She sleeps with her childhood stuffed animal and said yesterday that it wouldn't be weird if I got one too. - I need to jump on that ASAP. I ordered a black Tykable romper and black onesie, I told her it's "sports wear" and didnt mention where I got it... she said "ha! nice".

I might just tell her that during college and before we met I sometimes wore diapers as a comfort thing, its "stupid" and embarrassing so I never mentioned it, I can't explain it (work has been super stressful lately and she knows that), sorry but its back and I kinda wana wear again, it doesn't change us or anything and I'm still a man etc... I just don't want to keep any secrets. I think there's a part of her that would enjoy being pampered and cozy in a diaper, but it feels like I've got one shot at approaching this right.

I'd like some tips and guidance if possible. Has anyone confronted their wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend who had no idea about your AB/DL side? I'd love to hear some stories and tips.

 

[Poofybutt]

First off, this is probably something you should have revealed at the start of your relationship or at least after things started getting serious. I believe the general rule of thumb is that if you are an AB or a DL, you should confide early in the relationship before things get legit. With my past girlfriends, I told them between 3-6 months into the relationship, not 5 years into marriage, and each and every one of them responded positively and either accepted or indulged in my AB time as a Mommy

Unfortunately, the track record of ABs or DLs who revealed this after years upon years of marriage tends to be split. On the one hand, if you know her well and she has demonstrated her unconditional love for you in other aspects of your life, then there's certainly a chance that she will be fine with having a man who wears diapers and enjoys his baby time. The flip-side of this, however, is that your partner may freak out or start to question and or doubt the nature of this relationship because you didn't bring it up sooner. The latter is probably something you don't want to hear, but after 5 years of marriage and concealment it is certainly a possibility

As DanielW said above, be honest. If you want to start exploring the AB side of things more and if you want to stop hiding this whole side of yourself in the relationship, then be honest, sit down with her, have a heart to heart, let her know exactly how you view this side of yourself and how long you have had this. If she is a caring person and you have judged her character well, she'll be accepting at the very least Also, be sure to give her time to digest after you reveal this to her She may or may not respond poorly, in fact, if she is diligent and astute, she may have even had an inkling as to your AB/DL side, I mean, from the sounds of things, you have certainly been dropping hints, covert though they are

Another thing to note is that having a partner's acceptance doesn't always culminate in them taking an active role. My first girlfriend was fine with me diapering up and regressing on my own time, but she wanted no part of the Mommy stuff. Your partner may be the same, someone who can accept it and acknowledge that it is both a part of you and something you need to do, but she may not participate as a Mommy or as a DL/Little herself.

So yeah, sit down with her, talk to her from the heart and hope for the best

I certainly hope things work out for you

 

[neophyte]

I could never fit into a baby/toddlers diaper so a long long time ago I gave up on the possibility of ever being able to wear a diaper.

I only just discovered that ABDL diapers exist and I'm ecstatic! Prior to now I never really had anything to reveal to my wife. But now that I've discovered ABDL diapers and how to get them I am very happy and it's been almost two months and I'm still very happy.

The AB part is not a big part of me; I don't even want to sleep with a teddy bear but I want to take up her offer of getting one just to make ABDL stuff seem less odd to her.

She's okay with a plain black romper (I told her its a sports thing), sleeping with a stuffed animal, and me wearing any type of fun/pattern payjamas (just no unicorn onesies lol). I could probably even getaway with a cool baby bottle on my night stand in place of my water bottle. She can handle all of that stuff and I'm grateful....

....but sleeping with a Crinklz diaper? Thats like wayyyy out there and a whole new category.

Your comments are right, I do fear that it will make her look at me differently, in an irrecoverable way, that will disgust her and upset her. But I also know if she were to discover my stash, she be more upset that I was hiding it from her.

Perhaps I'm seeking positive coming out stories to help motivate me and perhaps any visitors to ASDISC.

 

[sbmccue]

If you've been married 5 years, I'm sure there have been other behaviors that have disgusted and upset her. Wearing a diaper won't be the first.

As DanielW and PB noted, honesty is the key ... along with realistic expectations. PB's admonition that there's a big difference between acceptance and participation is sage wisdom. What do you really want as a result of telling your wife? Permission to wear? Her changing you? Her wearing too?

While she's already sleeping with a stuffed animal, it's a big leap from that sort of comfort object to a partner wearing diapers. An incremental approach might be best, and I think you have a larger window of time than you think. There's no urgency involved just because she suggested you buy a stuffed animal too.

 

[Evahasgone2]

I will say this once and i don't think I will need to respond to any feedback. I have been a DL since the age of twelve. I am female so you know. I wore diapers through high school and college, and no one knew or ever asked. I never told my parents because diapers are a sexual thing for me. Of course growing up in the seventies you didn't and I mean didn't tell your parents that you pooped you diaper at twelve and got off on it for fear of the dreaded shrink. I was married to a military man at age twenty three. He knew I wore diapers because he had seen me dress up many times. I told him I enjoyed the comfort and that it was a sexual thing when I used my diaper to wet or mess. He never told me no and he just told me " If that's your thing , it's your thing. I will never stop you, but I will not get involved in your fetish" That was all he had to tell me, and I totally understood it would be my thing and my thing alone. In the thirty years we were married we never spoke of it again. I loved him dearly and we had a great love life. Diapers was just not his thing. He passed in 2015 and now I love the alone time I have. I don't ever want to remarry or have a boyfriend. Now it's time for Evelyn to have her cake and eat it too. I go to work in my diapers I sleep in my diapers and I play in my diapers when I go for walks with my dog. Life is short Neophyte. If you want to tell your wife that is your business. I see you are AB that makes it a bit rougher for you, because you are looking for a mommy or care taker and that just makes it a bit rougher. All I can say to you is good luck and don't take it bad if she rejects the situation. Make it your thing and enjoy yourself. You aren't harming anyone and I guess you are pleasuring yourself. Stay happy and enjoy life, You only live it once...

 

[ABdrew]

my wife and I are going on 18 years together happerly married and almost 10 years as mommy baby lifestyle. Mommy/little is a big part of our life, My wife is 100% supportive of me being AB and loves looking after her baby boy. She even encourages it these days.

The big thing is trust, when I told my wife she was hurt from me not telling and keeping it from her. She already suspected I was AB from my manner and things she found around the house.
It's better to be honest but take it very slow, it's taken time for us to get to this point. Life does workout good if you love and except each other.
Remember balance your wife will still want a big boy around the house, but as you both grow more comfortable with your abdl side and except it you will found that the lifestlye can bring you much closer.
Its the closeness that encourage the acceptance in our relationship. My wife could see as a baby I want all of her care and support as any baby needs, compared to being big me who is caring but gets stressed from work and I am always trying to sort things out to be a good provider for my wife. Little me is fun, cuddlely always wanting to play and be with mommy.

She likes to regresses me which she does very easy and often. I'm almost 24/7 in diapers and little much of the time I'm home with mommy. We are happy love each other very much and our house does not have the air of stress and tension It used to when I was fighting my AB side. If being little makes you happy and you take it slow and give her time to process this, you could be surprised just how much your wife might enjoy it.

As life goes on if you love each other it can work.

 

[PapaBear001]

Sounds like you are heading in the right direction. I have not had a need or desire to tell anyone I know so I really can't provide advise... just some support. Good luck!

 

[binkyb]

And its always a work in progress, as we become a little more involved in the abdl life the more things you will want to find to try, some may fly some may not but the take it slow path is wise advice as it gives your other half time to digest what you discuss rather than going full bore into it. As in the line from a great movie "small moves" and be patient, don't over read something but remember you still have to be you.

 

[ABdrew]

And its always a work in progress, as we become a little more involved in the abdl life the more things you will want to find to try, some may fly some may not but the take it slow path is wise advice as it gives your other half time to digest what you discuss rather than going full bore into it. As in the line from a great movie "small moves" and be patient, don't over read something but remember you still have to be you.

yes take it slow, I and my mommy wife took a long time to get here, the wait is so worth it if you give her time you will let her discover it with you. It becomes an increadable journey together

 

[dogboy]

Since your wife bought herself a plushie, you could always open the conversation with, "You know, there are some people who enjoy baby related things like diapers, etc.," and see what she says. The problem with that is if she says, "Oh, that's gross." Then you don't have a fall back. The other way to go is that you can say, "I'm glad you enjoy your plushie. When I was younger, I wanted to wear diapers." That might be a safer way to start the conversation.

 

[neophyte]

Thank you everyone I will be sure to provide any updates! All I want is to let her know what is going on with me so that I can stop hiding it. It's very strange how normal this all seems to me.

dogboy, you know thats a good idea. Oddly enough her cousin is living in a dorm right now (for college) and she visited us during Christmas and she revealed that her roommate is "weird"... she has baby bottles... carries around stuffed animals... and has a pacifier. I froze during that conversation and didn't participate, I just wanted to listen. My mother in law thought it was crazy but my wife didn't really say much. I could bring that up again and slowly reveal that I find age regression interesting and therapeutic in a way. I also showed her a picture of a rearz rebel diaper during the new years count down; saying "oh look what I found maybe these are what they wear at times square"; she didn't seem grossed out or negative; but didnt say much.

I don't need to use a paci, I don't really want a stuffed animal, and I don't want her to change me. I love wearing diapers with a onesie and my regular clothes; and toddler like payjamas with a diaper after a bubble bath. (lol that sounds so crazy when I read it back) Thats all!! Anything else is bonus.

Thanks again everyone. I have a bad habbit of babbling and I am new to this site; I appreciate all the feedback!

 

[AAO]

There’s a chance she had a little side that wants to express itself more also and the stuffed animal is her way of letting it out a little bit.

 

[RubberJin]

You're assuming she'd find DL weirder than AB but you never know - my better half is accepting of DL but can't take AB stuff seriously at all despite having a vast collection of stuffed animals etc. herself much like your partner, so you really can't predict!

As others have said, you've just gotta be honest - after all, if you can't be 100% open and honest with your wife, who can you be honest with?

By all means couch it in terms of being a "comfort blanket", admit that it's weird / silly but just something that makes you feel good etc., whatever to defuse any apparent pressure / tension around the subject as you bring it up.

I say this to almost everyone on here but Lo's "Dream a Little" podcast is an awesome resource for couples with one "vanilla" partner, there's loads of great explaining in there.

 

[JamieXPassion]

Bring up your desires carefully but honestly.

My relationship with mommy began with me actually informing her that I had a fetish for diapers. She'd seen a comment on Reddit about me being a little looking for a mommy, and PM'd me her Discord for RP before asking all my kinks. She informed me that while she had a wife who was also little(open relationship), that diapers weren't exactly a turn-on; she associated them with messing, a hard limit for her. Gradually however, we slowly began to integrate diapers into our RP; she went from punishing me for having an accident at school that had earned me diapers before getting home, to willingly putting me into diapers and snuggling me up. I've even gotten her to be my diapered little girl once or twice, and she's so cute about denying her enjoyment. I try to reciprocate by doing non-diaper play as well when she wants it and I try not to bombard her with little/diaper talk either.

So don't beat around the bush with what you want. I know it can be difficult in a longer term relationship, but honest and direct communication is needed for a healthy and satisfying relationship.

 

[neophyte]

Thank you everyone I appreciate everyone's time and input. I did start AB and diaper discussion a few times over the weekend but I just couldn't get there about myself.

I do have a two piece ABDL pajama set coming in the mail later this week; it looks normal enough and the monkey print I can explain. However, the free pacifier clip will be a discussion opener!!

 

[neophyte]

This will likely be my last update.

She got me a cute lil stuffed dog for Valenties today!

I got her a onesie with some cool pink print, a print she would normally love. When she lifted it up and saw the crotch buttons she said "what the". She thought it was a joke at first but when she realized I was sincere she kindly said thanks but she will pass, it's not her style, it looks like a diaper shirt. I tried to normalize it and discussed the comfort benefits but no go.

My black Tykables T-Shirt and Romper arrived; I acted confident and said "they are so comfy, no more butt crack showing, and I love the feel". The buttons throw her off, it looks like a diaper shirt to her but she didn't seem to care too much. So, at least I can wear them whenever I want and not have to hide them.

I also have some toddler like (monkey) PJs coming this week; two piece with a regular shirt. They are actually "ABDL" PJs.

Diapers will likely remain a secrete for the foreseeable future.

To end this I get to openly...

• Sleep in a diaper shirt/romper or in my 2 piece PJs
• Wear diaper shirt/romper during the day
• I get to sleep with a stuffed animal
• I'll be replacing my existing gold necklace with a baby teething necklace; not as weird as it sounds it will be all black beads and look relativity normal.. kind of like this .. there is a kiosk in the mall custom making them right now... I cant wait to see their face when I say its for me.

I get to wear diapers at work and in the evenings at home when she works late so, I'm happy.

They key here is to balance this out and still be the man she married; dress sharp, be cool, and have a backbone. But at night I want my PJs!!!

Thanks again everyone, baby steps!