ABDL's in the media

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PearlPinkFloydJam

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So I have a feeling that just about everyone here has seen an ABDL individual featured on a show like "My Strange Addiction," "Jerry Springer," or some other show that gives insight into the unique lives of individuals. The shows I mentioned along with others have had ABDL-related episodes and explained (loosely) the lives of ABDLs. This post relates to explaining your thoughts about the publicity ABDLs have seen in more recent years with the explosion of "reality" shows. I want to hear your thoughts about them.

So, what do you think about the ABDLs in the media?
 
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I personally enjoy seeing them in the Media. Although the part that bothers me is I know outside of Abdl's, they are not held in high regards. So I dislike how people learn about it from the media, but rather one of them, themselves to explain their side, and others won't hold us in such distaste.
 

BoundCoder

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I don't think it does us much good, at best it does little harm. Most of the people who go public as ABDL are not going to be well digested by the public (physically unattractive, involved in porn industry, live the live 24/7 and come across as exceptionally weird, etc) because that's what these shows are going for. They don't want people would be perceived as "normal" (regular job, family, reasonably attractive, etc) who enjoy this as part of a healthy lifestyle[tm], they want freaks for the audience to gawk at, and realistically people who fall under that "normal" category are unlikely to be willing to put themselves out there publicly.

Personally I have little stake (or believe) in the ABDL thing going mainstream, so I'm mostly indifferent.
 

ClandestineWing

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There's no evading the fact that the general public ultimately sees us all as freaks, so if you're going to bring an uncommon fetish like this to the general public, what better ware to pedal than those who are actual freaks with a diaper fetish tied to them? The ugliest and juiciest parts, as well as exaggerating and embellishing upon them, are what get good ratings.

Most people on the outside will see infantilism in only black and white anyway; you're either completely normal, or completely weird. Their first response isn't going to be "Oh, I wonder why regressing into a baby makes these guys tick." unless they're a psychologist or some kind of person who's actually interested. On top of the fact that these interests aren't all that common, it's hard to call this a fetish, so some people might cling onto the false hope that there's some sort of cure for it. In order for a cure to exist, there must be an impurity.
 
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Calico

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I don't think they do it to help us or spread awareness, they just want to stereotype it and make it look so extreme just to mock us or to shock people. It's still interesting to see though and it takes bravery to go on the show or being a fool if they don't know what they are getting into. I wouldn't appear on TV about it because I like to keep it private and I know they edit it and I don't want any harassment or any public judgment and have social services on my door step because of ignorance and I don't want any other consequences.
 

WildThing121675

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Yeah... it usually never goes well when an AB goes on TV. I can count several incidents throughout the years where ABs have gone on TV and it goes bad or something happens AFTER the fact. There was the famous Stanley incident which led to him being investigated by Social Security after he caught the attention of a US Congressman after being on Taboo- there was the incident where Baby Ella lost her job at a daycare after being on Secret Lives of Women and others I can mention but those are the two big ones.

I groan every time I see an AB on TV. It makes us look bad and I was none too thrilled when Dr. Phil had an AB on his show- I could tell the man was not too comfortable with it all as I watched him question the AB in general and his girlfriend.

I would NEVER go on TV as I've got too much to lose in my life by exposing that part of it.

WildThing121675
 

Zedd

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As much as the negative press bothers me, I can see why we need it. It always starts with the freak show, then as time passes more and more of the reality slips in the door. Is any press good press? Hell no, but it does start the wheels turning. People come to gawk at the freaks, and as they gawk, they wonder why anyone would want to do that. And that's the key moment. Homosexuality was a perversion and a mental disorder until people really started to ask questions. Granted, AB/DLs will likely never be an openly welcomed part of society, But as people start to ask questions it should drop out of the WTF!!! category and more into the that's kinda weird category. But for that to happen, we need the creepy guy with bad teeth to go on springer and make a fool of himself.

Again, I don't like it, but I see the benefit
 

sbmccue

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Try "recruiting" a caregiver and see how the TV tabloids have affected us!

I've had more than a dozen babysitters over the past 30 years. The effort to find these women has become progressively more difficult because of Jerry Springer and his ilk. That's not an intentional consequence of the television programs ... it's an unfortunate side effect. Women who have watched these shows seem to "tune me out" far more quickly than they might have a decade ago. I've had prospective caregivers tell me again and again that having watched ABs on television talk shows, they have no desire to care for one.

This wasn't the case in the 1990s or even in the 2000s. The price of mainstream exposure has been exacted on those of us who keep quiet, work hard, play by the rules and look for someone to baby us on the weekends.

I realize not everyone seeks a caregiver. Having found quite a few, I can tell you that TV exposure has transformed the process from an interesting challenge to a dreaded negative encounter.
 

Calico

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Yeah... it usually never goes well when an AB goes on TV. I can count several incidents throughout the years where ABs have gone on TV and it goes bad or something happens AFTER the fact. There was the famous Stanley incident which led to him being investigated by Social Security after he caught the attention of a US Congressman after being on Taboo- there was the incident where Baby Ella lost her job at a daycare after being on Secret Lives of Women and others I can mention but those are the two big ones.

I groan every time I see an AB on TV. It makes us look bad and I was none too thrilled when Dr. Phil had an AB on his show- I could tell the man was not too comfortable with it all as I watched him question the AB in general and his girlfriend.

I would NEVER go on TV as I've got too much to lose in my life by exposing that part of it.

WildThing121675

While Stanley didn't know what he could get into, baby Ella sure knew. She knew there were risks involved like she could lose her job and she took that risk and accepted the consequence when it happened and she understood why she was let go and understood her daycare's perspective when they let her go. It was actually only one parent that made a big deal about it because she saw the show and threatened the daycare to fire her or she tells all the other parents so they can pull their kids out of there quick. She knew this could happen and it did and was not surprised when she was let go.
 

Drifter

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For all the reasons given above I think its safe to say most of us cringe when we see any exposure in the media. Now, if WE were to create some kind of media production what would it be like?

If it was up to me I would opt for a documentary style approach. We would need a neutral narrator and a number of brave people from our ranks, including SOs, that have star qualities, meaning they would be attractive in some way and likeable. A few should be physically attractive of course but, more importantly, all should have the ability to express a likeable personality whether that personality is sweet or gruff, wise or dreamy, witty or taciturn. A psycologist or two would be necessary to explain that we don't know the mechanism involved that plants these desires into normal people but the desires generally start early in life, are powerful, and most often permanent. There is no known way to remove or effectively reduce these desires.

There would have to be a few short scenes involving AB and diaper play but the documentary would never dwell on these - no sense in trying to disgust the vanilla world. The mood of the video would be along the lines of - "This is Sarah. She works in an accounting office, races motorcycles on weekends, raises two daughters, and wears diapers 24 hours a day whenever possible because she enjoys them."

The shrinks would mention that some people erroneously link pedophilia to infantilism so they would clear up that misunderstanding and emphasize that the incidence of pedophilia is no greater among ABDLs than it is among the general population.

Maybe we could get Ken Burns to do the documentary. Any other ideas?
 

Luckyfish

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I don't think these shows have helped the ABDL plight at all.
When the guy from SA appeared On TV and in our magazines, i even had a cashier show me the article on the front page with her opinion of this 'freak' as she called it.
It was a sad and uncomfortable moment with a realization that the only accepting person needs to be the person who is the ABDL.

Expecting society to be ok with this is a daydream, especially the way many of these ABDL's come out, is so 'out there', it freaks people out.
People always fear that which they don't know and its still so rare in the general population.

I think we need to expand this support group and act as group of numbers, by educating the public by the good example we set here.
Now that would go much further and put the general population more at ease.
 

ClandestineWing

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I think we need to expand this support group and act as group of numbers, by educating the public by the good example we set here.
Now that would go much further and put the general population more at ease.

Perhaps. But the general media would still seek to unravel that example. Who would the general public believe; so-and-so famous talk show host or magazine, or a bunch of infantilists from an ABDL support forum? The better question is, who would they want to believe?
 

Astatine

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People always fear that which they don't know and its still so rare in the general population.

I think we need to expand this support group and act as group of numbers, by educating the public by the good example we set here.
Now that would go much further and put the general population more at ease.

Perhaps. But the general media would still seek to unravel that example. Who would the general public believe; so-and-so famous talk show host or magazine, or a bunch of infantilists from an ABDL support forum? The better question is, who would they want to believe?

I think that the 'general public' doesn't give a sh*t, regardless of whether the information comes from tv-shows or the community. The general public has other problems and ABDL is nothing more than an easy target for a short laugh. Of course there are always a few who love it and a few who hate it, but in my opinion, the general public can be quite indifferent. Unless someone discovers an ABDL changing his/her diaper in a public baby changing room.

People can be quite tolerant, but they don't like getting stuff pushed in their faces. If you are open-minded and honest to yourself, and if you have friends who are open-minded and accepting, who needs the general public? Or, let me turn that question around: If you are alone and you have problems with your ABDLism, what exactly would you expect from the general public?
 
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Compare this thread to the diapered activity thread that's also ongoing and I think you can get a pretty clear picture of why the media isn't ever going to do a good job representing us. I guarantee you that nobody is interested in watching or making a show about people who sit in front of their computers, run errands, and do their cooking and cleaning while wearing a slightly puffier pair of jeans. But that's actually the most accurate picture of the community based on what we've all been saying we do while padded.
 

GlitteredArtist

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Compare this thread to the diapered activity thread that's also ongoing and I think you can get a pretty clear picture of why the media isn't ever going to do a good job representing us. I guarantee you that nobody is interested in watching or making a show about people who sit in front of their computers, run errands, and do their cooking and cleaning while wearing a slightly puffier pair of jeans. But that's actually the most accurate picture of the community based on what we've all been saying we do while padded.

A show aout people doing mundane everyday tasks! It would be a hit!
 

petitewhimsy

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As many other people have stated on here, I think it does do harm, as they are often the extreme side of things and are portrayed in a negative light. AB/DL is often presented as a "strange addiction" or an "odd lifestyle", likely to garner ratings. However, I think that some aspects of it are positive. Someone might watch and feel a bit better that someone out there thinks as they do. It might help someone to become more understanding. Moreso now, I think shows are going in the direction of the AB/DL explaining the psychological benefits so that's a start. I think it's a mixed bag, but tends to lean more toward negative.
 

EPO1

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Whilst I certainly have not seen all the material out there, and as someone who is not an AB myself I am not overly interested in the AB World...

But I have to say the mentioned portrayals on TV have done me personally NO GOOD.
First of, I have a Fetish (well, ok, I've got several ;)) and I'm overly a Kinky person when it comes to my sex life - I have ZERO problem with that and my SO herself is rather kinky too (actually more than myself).
So how can I say the portrayal of ABs on TV has done me no good? or affected me in any way?
Well, When I was still dating (and even when I was dating my SO) due to my IC the diapers came up pretty quickly, albeit I have shared the DL aspect with only a handful of people.
For most the DL part was instantly linked to what they had seen on TV about AB - and to me that is simply not my thing, actually far from it.
And it took a bit of talk & convincing that it wasn't this to me. Nothing too big - but still. I personally don't want to be looks at / seen as AB. Don't get me wrong I don't mind if someone else is an AB - I don't care.
But it's not something I want to be personally associated with, as it is quite the opposite of what I want in life, of how I am and want to be, and last but not least AB Stuff would be a huge turn off in the bedroom for myself.

Now to that crap on TV: As of course all those shows cater to create a mainstream sensationalist impression, they of course always seek out the most extreme cases and depict them in an utterly overdone "frame".
And I guess seeing an aging, overweight man in a bonnet, oversized diapers, etc in a "play pen" on jerry springer that does goo-goo-ga-ga, does not actually go to well with the general, even with the slightly kinky audience.
And this is what I don't get - why would anyone WANT to be pictured like this, overdone, in a public out-of-place setting.
I can see nothing wrong with such a scenario at home, in private - but if pushed into the public stage it just goes VERY WRONG.
To me it's the same stuff with real BDSM Stuff (not the softy plush version sometimes seen on TV)... me and my SO are into BDSM type stuff... and neither one of us would feel comfortable taking it "on stage".
It would by any stretch look ridiculous / weird / etc if a fake setting would be put on a TV Center-Stage and I would sit there in leathers & Latex and my SO in one of her Latex outfits, whilst the presenter wears a suit, asks pushy questions and a normally dressed audience is present... it just doesn't work this way.
I make no big secret of our BDSM play, and anyone venturing into our private room would most likely get a glimpse... At a BDSM Party it would of course be entirely different, as everyone present would be "into it" - delivering a matching pretext / Surrounding... but bring an "observing crowds" + a sensationalist presenter... and it turns to instant-crap.
If someone wants to TALK SERIOUSLY about my Kinks, no big deal, but I would only do this in my regular attire and certainly not give the audience a "taste" / "visual insight".

And that is the main problem with all them shows - whilst some start "mature" - they all venture into the same direction: portraying the extreme for a sensationalist effect.
If you'd indeed present say a mid 30-40 couple, successful members of the society, dressed to kill (like nice clothes) and well articulated as well as moderate in general with their stuff, I guess the audience might find it far less interesting, as the sensation is lacking, but they will by the majority not be so repulsed or get so many wrong ideas.
But I guess the point is people like that don't feel compelled to go on TV and present their kink to a whole wide world - why would they? I personally certainly would not. Nothing to gain from it.

So I say that every TV show of that nature / that content is indeed doomed to be sensationalist crap.
 

Drifter

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I don't think these shows have helped the ABDL plight at all.

I agree, but the expression "ABDL plight" is kind of curious. When the subject comes up people will naturally believe our "plight" is self induced and I have yet to see many people make a convincing argument that this isn't true. After all, we do choose to engage in freakish behavior and it would appear that most of us don't make a great effort to eliminate this "psychological disorder" from our lives. Even in a nurturing and accepting society the common sense attitude would be that before we can be "helped" we must learn to help ourselves. The general public is perfectly willing to be nice to us and help us overcome our aberrant behavior, as long as we are willing to take some responsibility for our own rehabilitation. They become understandably, righteously indignant when they discover this isn't what we are asking for. They (most of them) refuse to believe this is more than a psychological problem that can be treated. And we offer little evidence to counter their belief.
 

Luckyfish

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I agree, but the expression "ABDL plight" is kind of curious. When the subject comes up people will naturally believe our "plight" is self induced and I have yet to see many people make a convincing argument that this isn't true. After all, we do choose to engage in freakish behavior and it would appear that most of us don't make a great effort to eliminate this "psychological disorder" from our lives. Even in a nurturing and accepting society the common sense attitude would be that before we can be "helped" we must learn to help ourselves. The general public is perfectly willing to be nice to us and help us overcome our aberrant behavior, as long as we are willing to take some responsibility for our own rehabilitation. They become understandably, righteously indignant when they discover this isn't what we are asking for. They (most of them) refuse to believe this is more than a psychological problem that can be treated. And we offer little evidence to counter their belief.

A lovely response Drifter.

However that doesn't help the ABDL individual in any way does it?

The TV exposure highlights, what i would assume society's view(Which you suggested and i agree), of what our plight would be, and further degrades us.

This support group is the only thing i have to make me feel ok about being DL outside of my own self acceptance.
Secondly the information offered here is education to the vanilla person and i have seen this group help these people time and time again.

So which is the best choice for us going forward, to work towards at best, tolerance?

Now off at a tangent, of which i always find the hypocritical judgement view of society and media.
Drugs, adultery, alcoholism, even whips and chains are getting included in music videos and movies being glorified, even making the person seem 'cool'.
Yet we are seen as freakish, even though we don't break the law or in my opinion, break the moral code nearly as bad as adultery.

Another thing i have noticed which makes me cry inside.
Every time some criminal a-hole breaks the law, there is a need to mention the person also has a diaper fetish.
Another light to shine onto the freaks, even though most are good moral citizens.

Hindsight is 20/20, so do we need acceptance with all this nonsense and societal contradiction?
I don't think so, but i don't want exposure either, especially of the extremist examples of ABDL's we have seen in the media.
 

HokieABDL

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I myself am a believer in accepting invites when the media offers to cover us, as long as you yourself are not extreme (24/7 baby) and you do not have anything to lose like a job. If the media points us out as extreme so be it. If not, then good. Showing us off as super freaks is going to go stale anyway, after it reaches a peak which I don't think it has as of yet. But eventually shows will try to go to "is this 'freak' your neighbor?" on fetishes and lifestyles shows and it will be more marketable to ease peoples tensions when they start being open to it, and people who wondered if we were really freaks will start to not see us as all that bizarre. Think 50 shades, as that novel softened our stances on BDSM. The time was right for that novel, after seeing BDSM couples in the 90s get a "you are all going to hell" from a fire and brimstone preacher on a talkshow. Gone from TV are the 1960's and '70's "Orin Scravellos" who are spouse/girlfriend abusers with S&M tendencies as a side boost, who make people want to see BDSMs fed to a hungry plant as well.

As far as "ruining it" for prospective caretakers, possibly that's a side affect right now and IMHO an acceptable one. You will find one eventually.

But we also need to have vanillas' perspective when we come out. Consider these:

Are we, as ABDL's able to accept a BDSM showing his dungeon off? Think about that before showing your nurseries. I myself am OK with either.

Are you OK with seeing a couple with one member on a leash in WalMart with or without a camera crew in toe? We should about that before going to Walmart in a kiddie romper w short skirt with our pink diaper showing underneath. IMHO no on both.

Are we comfortable hearing about vomit fetishes on the air, even when they fully explain that they take every sanitary precaution? Think about that before we describe our DL. IMHO only honorably mention you wear voluntarily if nonsexual, and if it's sexual, don't mention it on mainstream media! Sex segments on discovery channel maybe. That's my opinion on sexual fetishes in general.

Perspective is the key.
 
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