ABDL: Did a lack of nurturing cause it?

[ozbub]

I'm an only child and it just occurred to me that maybe loneliness could also be behind needing the comfort of nappies/diapers. Any views about that?

Oh sure, it’s quite possible that loneliness can manifest the need for self-nurturing, like finding comfort in diapers or regression. It’s also quite possible to feel lonely amongst a crowd of siblings.

 

[howiebabe]

I think I'm the reverse. My father died just after I turned one and according to my mother, who had a depressive personality, she spent the next year or two holding me and crying. After that she said I had to be the man of the family (only child). The combination of being diapered and cuddled and not diapered and too independent, must have affected me. I bed wet until eleven (no protection, it was the fifties), but got into wanting diapers right after I entered puberty (about 12 1/2).

 

[Sheepies]

Still figuring that one out lol
Not just my mom, but both my parents were extremely neglectful narcissists who treated me more like a roommate they rarely interacted with growing up.

So definite maybe. Also recently found out I'm autistic which may also play a part in that.

 

[LadyOfTintagel]

Somewhat the opposite I actually think.

I had a great childhood. One of my first memories is being a small child having an existential crisis about growing up and not being a kid anymore one day. It just felt like the right thing for me to be, and I had no idea what I would be if not a kid.

I've hung on to lots of things that bring me joy, so I wouldn't say I'm an unhappy person now. But I will say that growing up has confirmed my fears about growing up. Getting older — in and of itself — has brought me nothing but unhappiness. The warmth of childhood fades and the coldness of adult life is left behind.

And I know for a fact that I'm a very lucky person! (With a few major exceptions.) But recent events have alerted me that I can't be lucky forever. Eventually everything good I have is going to be taken away. That's my experience of growing up.

...Woof, that's harsher than I thought I would be starting to write this. But I do think that may have something to do with why it makes me happy to reach into the past like this.

 

[Witch]

How many of you out there credit your ABDL and/or DL tendencies to an absence of nurturing?

I do. I felt my mom was a very cold person and I wish she was nicer to me especially as a little kid. Some of her actions and things she's said, from when I was a very young age, may even be considered sadistic. It's probably a huge factor into my being ABDL.

 

[Stargazer93]

My mother ignored me from the day I was born, and here I am sitting in a diaper 34 years later, high on weed fantasying about having a mother love her infant child, so I would definitely consider it a contributing factor.

 

[Dirtydiaperboy]

I think mine is from lack of affection

I am just happier that way

 

[Gadawodd]

I think it was a lot of things for me. My father was absent for most of my life (which I also think contributes to my being gay). I grew up with my grandparents and a single mom, who did their best, but I was still forced to grow up pretty quickly, as I was the first of everything (first child, first grandchild, etc). That, combined with wetting the bed until I was 14, I think was a major contributor. From what I can tell, I think the bed wetting contributed a lot to my liking diapers, and how I was raised contributed a lot to be liking regression and feeling little.

 

[Dirtydiaperboy]

My mother ignored me from the day I was born, and here I am sitting in a diaper 34 years later, high on weed fantasying about having a mother love her infant child, so I would definitely consider it a contributing factor.

I am just happier that way

 

[MikeDJ]

I cant seem to connect being DL to any nurturing issues or sexual abuse. There was none of that in my household growing up. My mom took care of me very well and was always there for me. I seem to possibly link the diaper loving to sensory issues. I remember always liking the shiny crinkly plastic of my diapers . The snug and soft feeling of wearing them was also a factor. So I can say that I dont think the DL loving came from any negative situations growing up.

 

[PrincessNozomi]

For me, I am just like super used to being in diapers due to having urinary incontinence combined with the fact that I just really love plastic backed diapers period. And I also loved being hugged and cuddled while wearing my diaper on display as well as being taken care of. But of course, knowing how cruel and harsh the world is only makes me further wish to return to world of innocence, love, and embrace.

 

[RuffRuff]

There are several reasons that I have thought about over the years. I did have kind and caring parents. My mom got postpartum depression very bad after I was born. She fought depression for most of her life. My dad was there for us all, but his work would keep him away sometimes. I don't think I ever wanted to be out of diapers. As long as I can remember. I have always wanted to be back in them. My mom nutured me the best she could, but the depression was hot and missed at times. I know it is not her fault. I love her with all my heart. There are some other reasons I believe. I am working through them personally. Right now, I have been wearing diapers more often over the past year, because my mom died at the end of May last year. It is hard not having her in my life right now. I miss her love, hugs, voice, etc. I know it is part of my healing process, and I will heal over time. I just don't know when that will be for me. I love wearing diapers. I do believe somethings from my childhood deep down in me is where this love for diapers and wanting to regress in age is at for me.

 

[SeniorMan]

How many of you who are out there do credit your ABDL and/or DL tendencies to an absence of nurturing?

I certainly would. Mommy maintained that she didn't know how to raise boys, referring to myself and my three brothers because she grew up in a family of all sisters.

 

[Coldsleeper]

I had an amazing childhood, loving parrents, wasn't potty trained too early nor too late, yet my earliest memories are that I wanted to wear diapers. Not wearing them just felt wrong for some reason. I even asked my mother to put me back in diapers full time when I was maybe three (I was an early talker), but this was met with rejection.

I have vivid memories from the time I was already potty trained for the day but still wet the bed every night. I might have been around four. I remember how my mother put a diaper on me every evening, which was very enjoyable, however it became humiliating as soon as my younger brother stopped wetting the bed and I was the only one being diapered for the night. This did not lessen my fascination though.

 

[Babybike2]

I do. My mother ( bless her heart ) had six kids in less than ten years so we were potty trained too early in my opinion and us boys were pushed to grow up too quickly which I give credit to my becoming ABDL. I'm not complaining though because I love the softness of my diapers and the smell of baby powder and I love to snuggle with my recently purchased stuffed rabbit with my binky in my mouth.

I was also potty trained very early. Physically I was ready but not emotionally ready. As a result I've longed for the comfort and security of my diapers ever since. I associate the diaper with intimacy, love, and care between me, the child, and the parents.

 

[Babybike2]

My mother ignored me from the day I was born, and here I am sitting in a diaper 34 years later, high on weed fantasying about having a mother love her infant child, so I would definitely consider it a contributing factor.

What a heart breaking story! I'm so sorry for you. I sincerely hope you find the love and acceptance you need - not just in fantasy, but in real 34 year old life as well.

 

[Babybike2]

Many have commented that growing up they had a positive experience with their relationship to their mom. How many of you out there credit your ABDL and/or DL tendencies to an absence of nurturing?

Lack of nurturing, especially at critical times of my emotional development, is the major reason for me. My parents weren't that bad, but were too busy pursuing their own careers to always give me the love, affection, and time I needed.

 

[Diaperboy27]

Honestly as far as I can remember I’ve always loved Diapers it’s like as soon as I got out I just wanted back in, but I think it also stems from getting responsibilities after responsibilities & it was tiring but I appreciate it for making me the person I am today

 

[RazzyBoy]

It is for me. I never really had a childhood. From an absent mother to a drug addicted, mentally and emotionally abusive father, and being in an out of foster homes where I was abused not only like my dad did, but also sexually. I just want what I misses out on. It feels like my soul itself is craving that care and nurturing I never had.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

It is for me. I never really had a childhood. From an absent mother to a drug addicted, mentally and emotionally abusive father, and being in an out of foster homes where I was abused not only like my dad did, but also sexually. I just want what I misses out on. It feels like my soul itself is craving that care and nurturing I never had.

OMG how can people even do this. Im so sorry. God I fucking hate 'adults'.


Now that I think of it though, this probably also plays a MASSIVE part of why I lean asexual and latched onto ABDL in place of sex. All my life I've witnessed sex create poverty and ruin lives that I grew to detest it. People breeding themselves into poverty and drug escapism, the only skill they have is putting their legs in the air. Having babies is an unwanted side effect besides an extra govt check. The kids get horribly abused and neglected and...ughhh. I swore I world never risk having kids until I was financially fit so they wouldn't have to grow up like that. Horrible.

Not everywhere I saw sex resulted in poverty, but everywhere I saw poverty was 100% always because of someone having their legs in the air before they were ready for the responsibility. Dumb fucking kids having kids as it were.

Pretty sure sex induced poverty and misery is why I was VERY anti sex in my teen and early adult years, and, having already discovered a earlier fascination for diapers as a child, ABDL just naturally filled that void instead. So THAT is where my imprinting went wrong...

Told you I was strong willed. I fought the no sex no girls until I had money thing, a very personal choice I made entirely on my own, as a pre teen and teen. I feared repeating mistakes and having my own kids growing up in poverty and ridicule like me so strongly that I successfully broke and overrode my own imprinting process and became asexual and ABDL instead.

Now I have a career and money and want kids and a family life so bad. But now I suck at socializing and vanilla relationships and lack capability for sexual attraction to a partner because of suppressing it early on and then because of the ABDL thing taking the place of it all, all these years.

What a majorly messed up chicken and egg scenario.

But I think I just cracked my own 'why' here...wow... I always thought it was solely due to the childhood fascination with diapers. Sure that was a precursor but the strong will actively shunning girls and sex as a pre teen and teen is what actually allowed the sexual imprinting redirection process to occur, aided by a prior preoccupation with diapers.