AB/DL Relationships - Significant?

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dlove

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I know that this is fetish and a lifestyle for some, but after all that i've been through I realize, i would pretty readily give up my AB/DL-ness. I used to think I'd never give it up for anyone, they'd just have to accept me for who I am.
That's pretty selfish thinking sometimes, but now I think I'd give it up if i had to.

My last relationship, the AB/DL was just a fun bonus to the love, and now i'm single so I have to re-think if i'd even want to be AB/DL with someone new.
The question now is how significant is AB/DL in you relationship? Is it a AB/DL whole lifestyle? A few good romps with AB/DL? or happy just being there w/o AB/DL?
 

Fullmetallittle

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For me its something I want to try, but I feel like love will find it's way. And for me the first thing in my head when I meet someone is how would they react if I told them? Being a Little or ab/dl is kind of like a escape and a part of who I am. Kinda childish in the sense that I am creative, sincere , etc. But it makes me very vulnerable. So the big adult acts like a shield. If you can get my guard down then you will have my unconditional love. But hey I haven't found her.
 

Calico

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How can it not be a lifestyle? We wear diapers and be babies and use the stuff, how is it not a lifestyle?

I don't think I would be able to give up my diapers. It's either accept it or leave. To me it's just another forum of underwear and they can be taken off for sex and if the man wants to be turned on for sex, I can take the diaper off and put on something sexy to turn him on. But sadly I don't enjoy sex without diapers so the sex between us would suck. I am lucky my husband likes diapers and is turned on by me wearing them. I do see it as a lifestyle. Why wouldn't it be? Diapers are my choice of underwear and I choose to use them for the bathroom than the toilet. I am also his little girl. I like how he calls me his baby. I get more into little mode when I am depressed. Then when I am not depressed, I am more of an adult who wears diapers.
 

CrazySmoker

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When I was younger, I thought I'd find my blue princess, but as I'm going older, after a few horrible experiencies of relationship so I came to the conlusion: that princess probably doesn't exist. Or may is somewhere and I don't know where... So I'm kissing frogs, may some day one them converts to my princess...

Involve my vicious means all of them. Diapers are like wheat: I enjoy it very much, but not all the time and every day.
 

gigglemuffinz

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I would say in my relationship it's significant but not getting into the full on lifestyle just because that's a bit too much even for me. Love is about meeting halfway in my opinion, understanding and finding that middle ground. So as much as people in the AB/DL culture can't expect their partenr to be 100% for it, completely ignoring your desires and wants is a selfless attitude that might harm a relationship more then help.
 

jayjay213

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I would say in my relationship it's significant but not getting into the full on lifestyle just because that's a bit too much even for me. Love is about meeting halfway in my opinion, understanding and finding that middle ground. So as much as people in the AB/DL culture can't expect their partenr to be 100% for it, completely ignoring your desires and wants is a selfless attitude that might harm a relationship more then help.

couldn't have said it better myself.
 

Evelynne

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I'm not ab/dl my partner is. Sometimes we go into the whole swing of things, but since we both love all things childhood related, it does sneak into our everyday lives. Toy stores, baby isles, tucking him into bed at night. I'd say since my partner brought it up it's become significant, it's quite infectious for us. I don't think it's selfish for wanting someone to accept you for who you are. Maybe turn it down abit, but if it makes you happy, don't entirely give it up.
 

Bigbabybret

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Well,

The way I see it with relationships is its a give and take...

You may not participate in one thing the other one likes...that's ok...in fact normal!

This is for anything not just Abdl...

If you hide or deny that part of you that desires it...you aren't going to get very far...

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt...it's also a river in each and every one of us...and putting too much into this river will end up with us washed down river, or worse drowning...

Abdl doesn't have to be the mainstay of a relationship...in fact I doubt it could be for most...

It's just a part of who you are...

So, expose this to your partner as a part of who you are...and just like other traits it may be something they with to participate with or not...but denying it I feel just doesn't work out long term...
 

pinksmart

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I wish I was able to say I could just give it up. It's been a part of my life for eight years now in a big way. The friends I've made and the fun I've had are experiences I will hold on to forever. :( But there is more to me than ABDL, and I just hope that whoever comes into my life next is accepting of me... and my eccentricity... Even if he or she does not participate. I love to be a little girl, and I love to be a Mommy, but there are things more important to me in compatibility - such as a shared Christian faith and general attitude toward life.
 

Tyger

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Denial isn't just a river in Egypt...it's also a river in each and every one of us...and putting too much into this river will end up with us washed down river, or worse drowning...
Hehe, Nice, i'll have to use that sometime, I like it.

Yeah, ABDL is really just a deep inner part of me, I have tried the idea of making it not be a part of me, and completely failed. It may be a weird part of who i am, but it is part of who i am none the less. I don't think it is selfish either to want somebody to accept that part of myself, because it wouldn't be selfish to want somebody to accept that I like the color blue. What if they absolutely hated that I like the color blue? It might not really affect that much, but personally I think they are being over dramatic, and it might be a sign that they have problems. Just because we like different underwear, and feeling regressed, I couldn't live with somebody who would overreact about it, in the name of selflessness. If i have to live with somebody who can be ok with it, but doesn't really care to be a part of it, then i might be able to do it, but I can't expect that I will ever stop liking it, nor the color blue, so I have to admit that it is part of who i am.
 
C

CrinklySiren

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i could never give up being a little, even if I tried (which i have). It makes me who i am by some degree, it also contributes to many factors that are things people love about me, the only trade off is the desire to wear diapers and baby clothes (which truthfully, the people in my circles arent bothered by)

My wife doesn't get involved AT ALL ~ like AT ALL!!!! But i still wear and dress up around her and she has no problem with this, she just doesnt change me or feed me or dress me or even treat me like im little (which hurts but at least i can have little friends and a mommy/daddy if i find one), I would ultimately love for her to be part of my world, but she just cant bring herself to do it. But we live happily being ourselves without judgement.

ABDL/Little lifestyle may not be a relationship requirement, but giving it up for the sake of others is more selfish than thinking its selfish... because you are giving up a part of you that hurts no one, and bothers no one, and gets in the way of nothing at all, just because one person doesn't "agree" with what "you like to do".

Thats actually the reason I'm so open about it ~ even though many people on here would contend that "no one needs to know, keep it to yourself", i say HOGWASH! WHY are we suppressing ourselves?? Because honestly when you think about it, the only reason we would have is to fear judgement or rejection, but consider the idea that anyone who rejects something so moronically simple and as painfully innocent and harmless as wearing diapers and regressing from time to time, is too simple minded a person to bother being friends with or being in a relationship with.

I've come to a point in my life where I dont care what anyone thinks about me or my lifestyle anymore, because the people who matter wont mind, and the people who mind dont matter. If they really have a big deal with what I do for fun, despite me being totally respectful, they can go respectfully eat an ass lol. I've noticed something beautiful over the years that has come as a result from me being open as I am about my kinks, quirks, and abdl/little lifestyle; you know what that is? The friends i've made and relationships i've been a part of, have grown stronger and closer, because my opennness allowed THOSE friends to feel liberated and comfortable enough so that they can express themselves as well without fearing judgement ~ and to me, THAT is a beautiful thing ~ to know that my confidence gave OTHERS confidence is something that is worth so much more than hiding myself for the ignorance or intolerance of others.

I wanted to give up being ABDL back then and many times since, but to be honest it was never because of what I was or what people thought, but merely out of loneliness. But in truth, i would never give it up because without it, im a bitter, cruel, untrusting, merciless person; and thats not who I want to be. The hard part becomes when we have to differentiate letting go, with lying dormant. Many times when my urge to regress or wear has been low, i would think to myself "I dont need to be abdl, i can give it up whenever", but I was mistaken when i found out that my urges were just low. Wanting to give something up for the sake of others is like cutting off your arm because everyone else is doing it... but don't forget that stupid people in large numbers doesn't make them rational.
 

Strawberry

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Im kinda in the complete opposite boat. Iv lost 2 relationships over bladder problems. So im giving this community a try.
 

wyatt

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My wife asked me a few months ago whether I wanted her as a wife or a mommy. we have been together for almost 3 years now and have know each other for 5 and she has know about this side of me for just as long. She told me if I chose her as a wife I had to compleatly do away with everything I couldn't have anything even if it was when she wasn't around a had do away with it compleatly and if I chose her to be a mommy she would be exactly that and only that except when in public we would no longer kiss ect . I was so hurt by this question all I kept thinking to myself was how could she ask me something like this, I was so upset it was like some one asked me what parent I would rather see for the rest of my life and the other would just vanish and never be seen or herd from
again, i was so upset i was shaking I couldn't even think straight she kept saying she wanted an answer and I panicked even more it was like i was having a exiaty atack and just chose to be a ab over her.of course she was crushed but i was even worse I couldn't even sleep all I could do was lay in bed and shake thinking to myself over and over what did I do!

How can I just compleatly give up something that's been in my life sense I was little I have always felt the need to regress.

The next day after I got up I told her I was wrong and I wanted her to be my wife and I went to work, when I got home she said she was sorry and wanted me just to be me.

I didn't think I was wrong for my answer what do you think?

Since then she has been a lot more understanding and particapates a lot more but I never forced her to before either.
 

CrazySmoker

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I would say in my relationship it's significant but not getting into the full on lifestyle just because that's a bit too much even for me. Love is about meeting halfway in my opinion, understanding and finding that middle ground. So as much as people in the AB/DL culture can't expect their partenr to be 100% for it, completely ignoring your desires and wants is a selfless attitude that might harm a relationship more then help.

There's a lot of true. I meant that blue princess as a person, not (for example) something like Rihana in diapers. It's not very important if that my blue princess is white or black, tall or small... I know personally some people involved in the ABDL world and part of them (about 20%) prefere never meet again: All for them and piece a shit for others. That's not the correct way. Relationship is about share interests, dealing together with conflits... But if there're more conflicts than intereses and that situation tends to be permanent, so that relationship will blow up. There's not really important, if the conflict are diapers, or another things (like abussing of drugs, alcoholism etc.)

So I'll continue in kissing frogs... Who doesn't risk, doesn't win. Two or three days later I'd try to search for another frogs too kiss, friday and saturday nights are always good to do it.
 

Hydra

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I have come to the conclusion that anyone who gets in a relationship with me will have to accept my AB/DL side. They don't necessarily have to take part in any of it, but they will have to accept it, as I'm not sure if I could ever give it up, nor do I want to. I doubt that I would ever be truly happy if I had to hide it all the time.

Having said that though, I think I may be able to sacrifice the ABness of it, if I HAD to compromise. But I wouldn't stop wearing nappies for anyone, and while I wouldn't flaunt it, I would be wearing in the presence of my partner at times, so it's important to me that they accept that.
 

Slut

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My wife asked me a few months ago whether I wanted her as a wife or a mommy. we have been together for almost 3 years now and have know each other for 5 and she has know about this side of me for just as long. She told me if I chose her as a wife I had to compleatly do away with everything I couldn't have anything even if it was when she wasn't around a had do away with it compleatly and if I chose her to be a mommy she would be exactly that and only that except when in public we would no longer kiss ect . I was so hurt by this question all I kept thinking to myself was how could she ask me something like this, I was so upset it was like some one asked me what parent I would rather see for the rest of my life and the other would just vanish and never be seen or herd from
again, i was so upset i was shaking I couldn't even think straight she kept saying she wanted an answer and I panicked even more it was like i was having a exiaty atack and just chose to be a ab over her.of course she was crushed but i was even worse I couldn't even sleep all I could do was lay in bed and shake thinking to myself over and over what did I do!

How can I just compleatly give up something that's been in my life sense I was little I have always felt the need to regress.

The next day after I got up I told her I was wrong and I wanted her to be my wife and I went to work, when I got home she said she was sorry and wanted me just to be me.

I didn't think I was wrong for my answer what do you think?

Since then she has been a lot more understanding and particapates a lot more but I never forced her to before either.

The fuck, dude! Was there a buildup of tension between you up to that point, or what?

There really isn't a right answer, but oh my god. Why would you ever want to be with someone like that? Someone who says,"Hey, let's make a drastic change, here! You can either have way too much of what you like, and not have a wife; or you can have a wife, and you know what? Fuck what makes you happy! Never do it again, even when I'm not around or affected by it in any way!" Prize pick. That is called being a c-u-n-t.

I know you said she was sorry and all, but what you typed was dripping with cruelty and irrationality. >>
 

wyatt

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The fuck, dude! Was there a buildup of tension between you up to that point, or what?

There really isn't a right answer, but oh my god. Why would you ever want to be with someone like that? Someone who says,"Hey, let's make a drastic change, here! You can either have way too much of what you like, and not have a wife; or you can have a wife, and you know what? Fuck what makes you happy! Never do it again, even when I'm not around or affected by it in any way!" Prize pick. That is called being a c-u-n-t.

I know you said she was sorry and all, but what you typed was dripping with cruelty and irrationality. >>

There was no build up of tension that I knew of it was just out of the blue one night.I order a book called theirs a baby In my bed and it came that day but she knew I ordered it and was looking forward to reading it, I read the book but I don't think she has touched it since that night.
 

Lilicup

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I don't have to be in A relationship with a daddy. I've never even had a daddy. But I WOULD have to be involved with someone who accepted my childish traits. I know there are definitely people out there who would criticize what I like, and think wearing panda jammies while watching cartoons is a sign of someone dysfunctional who needs to see a therapist. I would NEVER put up (or even be attracted to) someone who said things like "you know this show is for 10yr olds, right? How can you like this?" Or "full body pajamas are cute on little kids, but they look weird on adults"
 

CuriousOne

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I wish I was able to say I could just give it up. It's been a part of my life for eight years now in a big way. The friends I've made and the fun I've had are experiences I will hold on to forever. :( But there is more to me than ABDL, and I just hope that whoever comes into my life next is accepting of me... and my eccentricity... Even if he or she does not participate. I love to be a little girl, and I love to be a Mommy, but there are things more important to me in compatibility - such as a shared Christian faith and general attitude toward life.

So much truth in this topic. I woukd quote more but on my basic phone i can not multi-quote. The are other things perhaps more important, yes, but compromise is too. I already have no diaper, so i could give that up, but in turn, she has to allow the stuffed animals, bottle/sippy cup occasionally, and paci sometimes. No need to participate, but compromise. And if she finds my lil side apalling, it will never work w/o one dang good arguement against it. Why? It reveals many character flaws when someone finds it disgusting and has had it properly explained. Like a hatred of inocence. My little side is all about that, love, honesty, empathy/sympathy, and hope. If she can not see that in it with some help from me, and still loathes it...it will not work. Anyone who loathes innocence and affection is fundamentally incompatable with me.
 

Tyger

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The next day after I got up I told her I was wrong and I wanted her to be my wife and I went to work, when I got home she said she was sorry and wanted me just to be me.

Wow, that is a pretty heavy ultimatum. Good thing that It worked out. People need to understand that there do not always have to be ultimatums of either one or the other.
 
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