AB/DL is very misunderstood by the general public...

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LilPaddedBunny

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  2. Diaper Lover
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So after last night I had to come on here to vent so I could feel a little better. Last night I had friends over to hang out, and we were just talking about random things. At one point we were talking about anime, and someone brought up the fact that countries are starting to crack down on anime porn where girls were said to be of legal age, but were clearly drawn as children. For the record I don't condone any form of child abuse or taking advantage of minors. However I am AB/DL, and like regressing and age-play.

The discussion branched off into different things, and at one point one of my friends mentioned porn where there was an adult "daddy" and a woman who was clearly depicted as a little girl. They didn't know the terminology but they were basically describing age play and daddy dom/little girl relationships. My friends thought this meant an adult male got a woman to dress as a little girl because they wanted to have sex with children, or a father fantasized about having sex with his own children. They also thought that if any toys or other children's objects were in one of these videos, it automatically made it wrong and associated with children. My friends don't know of my AB/DL side so I kept quiet on the subject. It actually made me pretty upset though. They didn't understand that in most cases it's either someone who likes to regress and age-play for various reasons, or a couple in a dom/sub relationship. It's usually just one person who likes to be dominant, and another who likes to be submissive. It's not very different from other more "normal" kinks. The only difference is the sub has a kink for being punished and treated like a kid. It's more for the enjoyment of the sub, not because the dom is a pedophile. The dom is basically just indulging in the kinks of the sub.

All of this has made me realize just how misunderstood AB/DL in general is. People assume that just because someone likes dressing and acting as a kid, or enjoys watching others being treated like it, that it makes them a pedophile. Many of us don't even associate AB/DL with sex at all. For me personally sometimes it's sexual, but a lot of the time it's just relaxing and comforting. I just hope that some day we are better understood, and AB/DL is more normalized like some of the more common kinks. It's too bad there wasn't an easy way to inform the general public about AB/DL and help them understand what it actually is. There's nothing harmful or wrong about being an AB/DL, and I'm still happy to be one. No matter what others think, I've accepted this side of myself as a part of who I am.

I apologize for going on a rant. I usually like to post more positive things, but I had to get this off of my chest.
 
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AB/DL should be added to the long list attached to the pride flag. But it is very difficult to change people's minds or even get them to understand. Good post lilpaddedbunny.
 
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ShyJamie said:
AB/DL should be added to the long list attached to the pride flag. But it is very difficult to change people's minds or even get them to understand. Good post lilpaddedbunny.
Thanks. I'm feeling a little better now, but when my friends were talking like that it kinda made me sad. I wondered what they would think of me if they knew about my AB/DL side. In a way it's similar to opening up to others about being gay. The LGBTQ community has come a long way in gaining public acceptance since I was a kid in the 80s. People like that were ridiculed and outcast regularly when I was growing up. Hopefully AB/DL gets the same kind of mainstream acceptance in the future. Eventually if people start hearing of it more it will become more normalized. Sites like ADISC are great for raising awareness and helping people to be accepting of who they are. I find being able to talk to like-minded individuals without being judged very helpful.
 
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Not sure what you could have said but I’ve had similar experiences Conversations Usually someone says something negative about LGBTQ I’ll Defend it unless it’s just to heated to jump in.
But it’s getting better I remember 40/50 years ago it was common to hear people use the N word not so much now
 
Depends how open minded your friends are, most people if you haven’t heard of age play or regression would automatically assume it’s weird, but more open minded people could listen to reason and explanation and have more of an understanding, maybe you could try explaining it to them without even disclosing your part in it. Could say you’ve read about things like that and it could sway the discussion. But that’s a main issue no one is willing to listen or discuss something out of there comfort zones that’s why we are so misunderstood.
 
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claire123 said:
Depends how open minded your friends are, most people if you haven’t heard of age play or regression would automatically assume it’s weird, but more open minded people could listen to reason and explanation and have more of an understanding, maybe you could try explaining it to them without even disclosing your part in it. Could say you’ve read about things like that and it could sway the discussion. But that’s a main issue no one is willing to listen or discuss something out of there comfort zones that’s why we are so misunderstood.
Very good point I’ve used that “I’ve read about that..
 
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claire123 said:
Depends how open minded your friends are, most people if you haven’t heard of age play or regression would automatically assume it’s weird, but more open minded people could listen to reason and explanation and have more of an understanding, maybe you could try explaining it to them without even disclosing your part in it. Could say you’ve read about things like that and it could sway the discussion. But that’s a main issue no one is willing to listen or discuss something out of there comfort zones that’s why we are so misunderstood.
I was actually on the fence about trying to bring up AB/DL in a conversation and eventually leading into discussing it with them. After last night's discussion though I'm not so sure. Even if they didn't insult me to my face because I'm their friend, they might tell others who would probably be far less nice about it. Something that out of the ordinary is hard to keep secret. I believe if you could explain AB/DL to someone rationally instead of them coming to their own conclusions, it would be easier to understand. Even if they have no interest in it they might at least understand why you do.
 
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ShyJamie said:
AB/DL should be added to the long list attached to the pride flag. But it is very difficult to change people's minds or even get them to understand. Good post lilpaddedbunny.
Uh....as a DL I am not part of the pride crowd and I wish not be labeled as such. A majority of ABDLs are straight and ABDL is not a sexual identifying orientation. You can be ABDL and be straight, gay, bi, lesbian, trans, queer, furry, a doctor, lawyer. ABDL like any other kink, it involves a plethora of sexual oriented ppl from all walks of life. You wouldn't label BDSMers into LGBTQ. I mean just because we have alphabet to identify us shouldn't mean we are of LGBTQ. Like LGBTQ, ABDL it's just abbreviated from Adult Baby/ Diaper Lover.
 
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LilPaddedBunny said:
I was actually on the fence about trying to bring up AB/DL in a conversation and eventually leading into discussing it with them. After last night's discussion though I'm not so sure. Even if they didn't insult me to my face because I'm their friend, they might tell others who would probably be far less nice about it. Something that out of the ordinary is hard to keep secret. I believe if you could explain AB/DL to someone rationally instead of them coming to their own conclusions, it would be easier to understand. Even if they have no interest in it they might at least understand why you do.
Oh yeah I fully agree with you on that it’s hard to judge if they would keep it quiet and stuff to, I thought maybe mentioning articles you’ve read rather than saying you are into that might help? But it does depend on the friends to be fair
 
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LilPaddedBunny said:
So after last night I had to come on here to vent so I could feel a little better. Last night I had friends over to hang out, and we were just talking about random things. At one point we were talking about anime, and someone brought up the fact that countries are starting to crack down on anime porn where girls were said to be of legal age, but were clearly drawn as children. For the record I don't condone any form of child abuse or taking advantage of minors. However I am AB/DL, and like regressing and age-play.

The discussion branched off into different things, and at one point one of my friends mentioned porn where there was an adult "daddy" and a woman who was clearly depicted as a little girl. They didn't know the terminology but they were basically describing age play and daddy dom/little girl relationships. My friends thought this meant an adult male got a woman to dress as a little girl because they wanted to have sex with children, or a father fantasized about having sex with his own children. They also thought that if any toys or other children's objects were in one of these videos, it automatically made it wrong and associated with children. My friends don't know of my AB/DL side so I kept quiet on the subject. It actually made me pretty upset though. They didn't understand that in most cases it's either someone who likes to regress and age-play for various reasons, or a couple in a dom/sub relationship. It's usually just one person who likes to be dominant, and another who likes to be submissive. It's not very different from other more "normal" kinks. The only difference is the sub has a kink for being punished and treated like a kid. It's more for the enjoyment of the sub, not because the dom is a pedophile. The dom is basically just indulging in the kinks of the sub.

All of this has made me realize just how misunderstood AB/DL in general is. People assume that just because someone likes dressing and acting as a kid, or enjoys watching others being treated like it, that it makes them a pedophile. Many of us don't even associate AB/DL with sex at all. For me personally sometimes it's sexual, but a lot of the time it's just relaxing and comforting. I just hope that some day we are better understood, and AB/DL is more normalized like some of the more common kinks. It's too bad there wasn't an easy way to inform the general public about AB/DL and help them understand what it actually is. There's nothing harmful or wrong about being an AB/DL, and I'm still happy to be one. No matter what others think, I've accepted this side of myself as a part of who I am.

I apologize for going on a rant. I usually like to post more positive things, but I had to get this off of my chest.
This is the main reason I keep this to myself. There is one person that knows of this and that's my wife. Ppl don't understand LGBTQ yet alone ABDL. Some ignorant ppl label gay men as pedophiles only interested in having sexual relationships with little boys. This couldn't be further from the truth. Those same ignorant ppl also call pedophiles gay, assuming all pedophiles are gay. This again couldn't be further from the truth. Are there gay men that are pedophiles? Sure, but a majority of pedophiles are straight men.
Ppl are just ignorant, some more than others. If one is willing to broadcast their little kink then one should expect some kind of blowback from ignorant ppl.
 
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claire123 said:
Oh yeah I fully agree with you on that it’s hard to judge if they would keep it quiet and stuff to, I thought maybe mentioning articles you’ve read rather than saying you are into that might help? But it does depend on the friends to be fair
Yeah at this point I believe the risks far outweigh the rewards. Hopefully at some point the AB/DL community will gain more acceptance, or at the very least we won't be associated with pedophiles. It just really sucks because I have come so far in accepting this side of myself over the years, to the point of me almost being comfortable enough to open up about it. Then I find out my friends' views on the subject. I know it's partly due to them not understanding, but it kinda hurts to hear your friends talk down on something that's a part of you, even if they don't realize it.

I wish I had an AB/DL friend in my area. It would be great to hang out with a like-minded person who "gets" me. However, I live in a remote area and I doubt there are very many of us around here. If there are any they are hiding just as well as I am. I believe a couple of my friends would be more open-minded if I told them about myself, but there's no guarantee they won't tell the others.
 
AB and or DL is not understood by the general public because of the diaper stigma. Diapers are for babies and that's it. This way of thinking has been passed down for generations when someone decides that belittling, ridicule, shame & embarrassment and bullying was the best way to get kids out of diapers.
Even if you're IC and share you need diapers most people are shocked. Wouldn't you want medicine or surgery to fix that? There is no reasoning with these people or those who think because you act like a baby you want to be sexual with them.
I don't think this will ever change
someone mentioned adding it to the lgtbq line up and I also think in today's age & climate that's a terrible idea and will get more hate and misunderstanding

but that's my 2 cents
 
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SparkyDog said:
AB and or DL is not understood by the general public because of the diaper stigma. Diapers are for babies and that's it. This way of thinking has been passed down for generations when someone decides that belittling, ridicule, shame & embarrassment and bullying was the best way to get kids out of diapers.
Even if you're IC and share you need diapers most people are shocked. Wouldn't you want medicine or surgery to fix that? There is no reasoning with these people or those who think because you act like a baby you want to be sexual with them.
I don't think this will ever change
someone mentioned adding it to the lgtbq line up and I also think in today's age & climate that's a terrible idea and will get more hate and misunderstanding

but that's my 2 cents
Yeah it's not just the AB side of things that's misunderstood, it's also the diaper aspect of it. People tend to associate diapers with shame and disgust. They don't realize that a good quality diaper is not as "dirty" as they think. If you're only wetting it and staying hydrated, a good diaper will remain feeling dry and comfy and cover up odours until it gets full. I'm sure my personal hygiene is much better than some non diaper wearers.

As for people who are strictly incontinent, there's nothing shameful about using diapers as a convenient tool to live a normal life. Many people would rather deal with diaper changes than risky surgeries and medications with possible side effects. Once again it all comes down to misunderstanding and misinformation.
 
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LilPaddedBunny said:
Once again it all comes down to misunderstanding and misinformation.
I think it's deeper than that. You can explain things but vast amounts of people refuse to accept new information.
Which is why the diaper stigma is alive and well
 
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SparkyDog said:
I think it's deeper than that. You can explain things but vast amounts of people refuse to accept new information.
Which is why the diaper stigma is alive and well
Yes, many people are stuck in their ways and fear change, or anything outside of their realm of "normal".
 
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LilPaddedBunny said:
Yeah at this point I believe the risks far outweigh the rewards. Hopefully at some point the AB/DL community will gain more acceptance, or at the very least we won't be associated with pedophiles. It just really sucks because I have come so far in accepting this side of myself over the years, to the point of me almost being comfortable enough to open up about it. Then I find out my friends' views on the subject. I know it's partly due to them not understanding, but it kinda hurts to hear your friends talk down on something that's a part of you, even if they don't realize it.

I wish I had an AB/DL friend in my area. It would be great to hang out with a like-minded person who "gets" me. However, I live in a remote area and I doubt there are very many of us around here. If there are any they are hiding just as well as I am. I believe a couple of my friends would be more open-minded if I told them about myself, but there's no guarantee they won't tell the others.
Yeah I agree with you it entirely sucks especially when you hear them talking down about it. Remember you got us 💜
 
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claire123 said:
Yeah I agree with you it entirely sucks especially when you hear them talking down about it. Remember you got us 💜
Thanks! It's actually very comforting to have people to talk to. Coming on here is like therapy sometimes lol. They are my friends and didn't even realize they were indirectly talking down to me. I don't think they would go so far as to ridicule me to my face or disown me, but things could blow up if they told others behind my back. That's why I would have to be careful if I opened up to someone about this.
 
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I was in the pub a few years ago and some people at the bar were talking about a documentary on tv about the abdl scene. most of the people had never heard of such a thing. I didn't let on that its something I'm very much into.
 
ben0510 said:
I was in the pub a few years ago and some people at the bar were talking about a documentary on tv about the abdl scene. most of the people had never heard of such a thing. I didn't let on that its something I'm very much into.
I've been in similar settings and its generally met with disgust & ridicule or just laughter and crude jokes.
people mock what they can't understand
sadly they have no intention to learn
 
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A lot of people I meet in alternative lifestyle gatherings see what we do as more play and do not understand , as much as you try to explain it . I made it my mission a while back to help dispel the myths and teach classes on ageplay , littles and abdl .These being open minded individuals , kink friendly and other wise. Some will get it but most don`t . Most will be excepting of it and have a better understanding. Sigh . We can only try and it is getting better.

Explaining this to vanilla people is a no go , the majority will not become even close to understanding this . Sadly this is how it is . You can say maybe one day ? I don't see it happening in my life time.
 
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