Hello All,
Sorry to hear about your dream Dogboy about being in the hospital. I have those dreams EVERY single time I go to sleep. Growing up the children's psych ward (mental hospital) was my mom's punishment of choice. To get them to take me she would lie saying I was suicidal and had just tried to kill myself. They would come take me no questions asked and it was left to me to prove to them I wasn't suicidal like my mom claimed.
My longest stay was two weeks exactly. Nearly ended with me being placed in a state hospital because of one of her reports to get me hospitalized. Not because I was suicidal, but because I got suspended from school for fighting which was really me trying to defend myself from a bully.
Anyway, long story short I was abused in the hospitals ending in PTSD. Thus the hospital nightmares reliving the stays. So I wanted to say I could relate to your dream. I would end up in them and wonder how I got there, the nightmares feeling SO real.
Anyway, to the OP, I have seen therapists since I was 10 years old (24 years now). I didn't actually share being AB until I was 22 to any of the therapists. In all of maybe 8 or 9 therapists since then, only one gave me a problem over it. The one was fresh out of collage and was still being supervised she was so new. For someone like me with my many issues, it wasn't a good fit.
First problem is she would panic anytime I said I was depressed. I had made the mistake of sharing I was only have passing thoughts of suicide, but nothing extreme. A few minutes later she said she needed a cup of water and excused herself. 5 minutes later three security guards came into the room and told me I needed to come with them, that I was being admitted and could come willingly or they would carry me.
As one could imagine I was quite angry. I was released from the hospital 2 days later when they realized it was just passing thoughts and not a true "crisis" and that the therapist had panicked. And if that wasn't enough, because the therapy center and hospital were on the same grounds my file I thought was private ended up being pulled by the psych ward doctor.
He sits down with me and is like "So, you really sleep in a adult size crib at home huh?". I learned later if I was going to share about my AB stuff, I needed to do it with a therapist that wasn't connected to a psych center (a therapist's office that's ran or on the same property as a psychiatric hospital). And the therapist herself actually wanted to try to "cure" me of being AB like it was some mental disorder. It was a disaster.
Anyway, as I said, that was the only therapist who reacted badly. The rest have been very understanding and cool about it. I choose to share it because my role playing is a direct result of my childhood. I use my role playing to cope with my past. It's where I feel safe, comforted, loved, accepted and all those nice feelings we want and need as kids. Only 3 of the 8 therapists had heard of AB's.
The rest I had to explain the basics and they did research on the subject themselves. Including Sheela Stocks, the therapist who was interviewed in the Taboo episode I did. I saw her for over 2 years. She had no clue what AB's were. But she understood what I got from it. She, as well as others came to tell me it was a great way to get the good feelings I wanted. That it wasn't a negative way to cope such as drinking and doing drugs. And is healthy as long as I didn't go overboard with it to the point that it was keeping me from going outside, keeping me from making friends and having a adult life too.
Though a few did wonder if I was into it more than most, and I am one to admit I do get pretty into it with all the props. I like it to feel as real as possible so I go to great lengths with the props to get that feel. But at the same time, I know I am not "REALLY" a baby and can be a adult any moment I need to be.
So to close, you will find many don't even know what a AB is and you may need to explain what it's about and what it's about for you such as what you like to do when role playing. But as others have said, a good therapist won't bite your head off and will be accepting and supportive. And any good therapist after finding out about the subject of AB's who didn't already know would go home later and do research on the subject.
When I told my therapist, I actually had printed out some material I found online myself along with a list of sites she/he could check out later to help her find the real info and not the sex sites. Also make it clear when you share if you want help stopping or not. I was clear when sharing that although I am AB, I have no desire to change/stop being AB. But that I only wish to share because it IS a big part of who I am. I hope any of this was helpful. Take care. **hugs and cuddles**
-Baby Stanley
