A very tough year & NRU STR8UP's

PaddedArtist90

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So I hate being a negative nancy but this year has been horrendous for me, financially, physically and mentally with work drying up (no pun intended), struggling financially with the cost of living and just the overall stress of everything and now Christmas fast approaching has made me get real low you know, to the point I've contacted Samaritans.

I just feel lost and don't really know what direction to take in life, so I decided to juggle finances around and ordered a pack of STR8UP's from NRU, (I know I shouldn't have with finances being an issue) but I thought that maybe this is why I've been struggling to cope with everything, because I haven't had the means to explore this part of me as much as I'd like to.

So I collected my order from a click and collect location the other day but I can't even bring myself to put one on, they feel good quality but I just don't feel that urge that I used to & can't figure out if it's because of everything that's been going on.

I've read that they are a pretty solid dip, require a bit of fluffing but other than that they hold up pretty well, I did read that they're a tad smaller than Megamax dips & the fit is real snug, I've tried mediums in Megamax and felt super swamped wearing those so hope that when I eventually try these dips they fit nicely.

Does anyone have any tips that could bring me back to that level of excitement that we all share in this community because I can't seem to find it and feel like Peter Pan without his shadow.

I've struggled with this in the past as I've wrote on here but this year has really pushed me almost into a void between worlds where I just have no direction.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this because I don't want sympathy or anything like that I just have no idea what I'm looking to get out of it but hey ho, here we go.

Just wanted to try and get it out.
 

NappyCouple1980

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I’m not sure I can help with the not wanting to wear, I’m in a different head space currently sat in a wet Tena as I’ve run out of Str8ups.

But I can confirm the NRU nappy is good and holds a lot, not had a leak from one yet.

Sorry you’ve had a bad year, it’s tough at the moment, all the best and I’m here to chat if needed
 
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DLmikey

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I’m really sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time at the moment, I know it doesn’t help when I say I think a lot of people are really struggling at the moment because of just how bad events have become in the world. You mustn’t feel that by posting here that you are bringing negativity and hopefully by making this post you will feel just a tiny bit better by just mentioning it all. I think for a lot of us our lives are literally upside down at the moment, I was just saying to someone yesterday how overwhelmed I feel sometimes - it’s as if I used to live my life in the foreground and the rest of the big world events would happen in the background, but now the big world always feels in the forefront and my life has retreated to the background - if that makes sense?

I think your recent purchase is entirely rational and hopefully the new nappies will be there for when you are ready for them. I count myself as an extremely fortunate person, but I’m sure my personal ‘binge’ period I have been experiencing over the last month or so is almost entirely caused by me subconsciously needing a coping mechanism to all of the uncertainty generally at the moment. I’m a designer and I think you are a creative too, and I’m sure we are especially receptive to having these ‘low’ periods which is just a part of our makeup - it’s the flip side of our creative highs.

I have always kept everything ‘bottled-up’ but my opening-up on this forum over the last few weeks has definitely been beneficial and hopefully you’ll be able to reach-out engage both here where, in contrast to most of our interactions with other non-abdl people we are free to talk about abdl life issues in addition to other topics, and hopefully with friends/colleagues generally on everyday life and it will help to put everything into a better perspective.

Hopefully on a purely practical and financial everyday level things will start to improve for you, I genuinely and deeply hope you will soon be in a position to feel a bit more positive. I find being a DL intensely difficult at times, but when I do allow myself to ‘be me’ it is beneficial, and being part of this online community is beginning to help.

Stay safe, keep engaging with people and when the time is right, let everyone here know how you get on with the STR8UPs! 😊
 
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LittleMonsterUK

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Everyone is going through this you’re not alone 🙈🥰🫂
 
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Dragon64

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Try wearing one without the intention of using it and cuddling with your stuffie if you have one
 
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Subtlerustle

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Hang in there friend. Someone told me once that it’s always darkest just before the dawn. He was right. I find that when things pile up I need to create something to look forward to. It sounds so simple but it works. As far as the dip side of our lives, ebbs and flows are the norm but you have to know it’ll always be there when you’re ready to leverage it.
 
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WaddleBum92

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Don’t give up hope - 18 months ago I was earning minimum wages and was in £55,000 of debt. I was at breaking point.

I am now earning 6 figures and debt free thanks to a serious job promotion and a windfall.

Never give up!
 
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LittleMonsterUK

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Subtlerustle said:
Hang in there friend. Someone told me once that it’s always darkest just before the dawn. He was right. I find that when things pile up I need to create something to look forward to. It sounds so simple but it works. As far as the dip side of our lives, ebbs and flows are the norm but you have to know it’ll always be there when you’re ready to leverage it.
To be honest at the end of 2020 I said ahh it can’t get any worse than this then 2021 came around with covid and I said again well it definitely can’t get any worse than this then 2022 with Russia and Ukraine 😂 lets just hope it doesn’t get any worse now SureIy it can’t unless WW3 starts!

My point is if you haven’t noticed nothing is getting better and the rich are getting richer and the poorer are getting poorer in my absolute honest opinion my prediction is if nothing changes they’ll be an uprising and economic collapse.
 
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Subtlerustle

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LittleMonsterUK said:
To be honest at the end of 2020 I said ahh it can’t get any worse than this then 2021 came around with covid and I said again well it definitely can’t get any worse than this then 2022 with Russia and Ukraine 😂 lets just hope it doesn’t get any worse now SureIy it can’t unless WW3 starts!

My point is if you haven’t noticed nothing is getting better and the rich are getting richer and the poorer are getting poorer in my absolute honest opinion my prediction is if nothing changes they’ll be an uprising and economic collapse.
Yeah plenty of turmoil to go around. Of the things you noted like covid, invasion, exploitation, economic gyrations etc, we as individuals have little to no control over them. I get pissed off about that stuff as well but I force myself to seek solutions to what I can control. Btw, I stopped watching the news half way through 2021. The words fear, worry and anger are contained in every segment. It’s enough to drive you to dark places…and to keep watching more, which is what they want.
 
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LittleMonsterUK

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Subtlerustle said:
Yeah plenty of turmoil to go around. Of the things you noted like covid, invasion, exploitation, economic gyrations etc, we as individuals have little to no control over them. I get pissed off about that stuff as well but I force myself to seek solutions to what I can control. Btw, I stopped watching the news half way through 2021. The words fear, worry and anger are contained in every segment. It’s enough to drive you to dark places…and to keep watching more, which is what they want.
I don’t watch the news and haven’t gone out my way to watch the news in years I’m a realistic stoic and right now we’re heading for total economic collapse. Well the USA and UK is anyway. With America they’re divided by the lefts and the rights (Trump supporters vs no trump supporters) not to even mention the economy the UK is lying about its oil the reserves are packed and available to use but they’re artificially inflating the price. Shipping costs have gone up, food and literally everything. People are tired and we’ll either see large suicide rates or huge economic destabilisation. Covid was the worst thing to plague humanity because it’s fed greed and with the scarcity during covid the rich think they can charge whatever they want and we’ll pay it but times a ticking and the next decade will be interesting. That’s if we even make it to the next decade 😂

There’s a reason I transitioned to little space 24/7 and it’s because if I was in my adult mind more than my little mind I’d go absolutely ridiculous and insane. I like to numb my mind with dipees and nice soft plushies 🥰 then when shit hits the fan I’ll stop been ignorant but I’ll still be in dipees 🙈
 
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IDKaLittle

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I’ve been exactly where you’re at. The beginning of this summer I began a journey of discovery in therapy and it’s been a roller coaster. I completely lost the will to wear while I was going through that. Pretty much all summer.

Someone here (I think) told me my Little guy was satisfied for now and my Big needed some attention. I took great comfort in that and let my big get that attention. Lol my little was like, “I’ll be in my room playing if you need me”

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not feeling it. You’re going through some shit right now and the last thing you need to add is stressing about losing this part of yourself. Let your life settle. It’s not lost, it’s just not a comfort for you right now. It will be again, when you’re ready. And that’s ok.
 
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LittleMonsterUK

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IDKaLittle said:
I’ve been exactly where you’re at. The beginning of this summer I began a journey of discovery in therapy and it’s been a roller coaster. I completely lost the will to wear while I was going through that. Pretty much all summer.

Someone here (I think) told me my Little guy was satisfied for now and my Big needed some attention. I took great comfort in that and let my big get that attention. Lol my little was like, “I’ll be in my room playing if you need me”

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not feeling it. You’re going through some shit right now and the last thing you need to add is stressing about losing this part of yourself. Let your life settle. It’s not lost, it’s just not a comfort for you right now. It will be again, when you’re ready. And that’s ok.
I’ve just let my big go 🙈 only time I’m fully big is when I need to take something seriously or when I go out but I’ll still be wearing my dipees 24/7 only time I don’t is the doctors because I feel like I don’t need to explain my private life during check ups 🙈

As for why? The adult world fucking sucks so I’m just not engaging in the illusion anymore. I can’t be bothered with fake friends, dead end jobs and so on it’s just not worth it I’d much rather just do an activity and or snuggle my plushies whilst sucking on my pacifier without a care or stress in the world 😌

My point is use your little side to escape this absolute madness I’ve given up on been full time adult I’m disabled anyway and I’m only going to get myself worked up trying to fight in a world I want no part in. Instead pursue your own interests and hobbies I love doing many creative things which could be seen as childish but I do them on a professional adult level. Now I think about it there is no big there’s just me a combination of both 🙈🥰🤗🫂
 
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PaddedArtist90

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Thanks everyone for all the kind words of wisdom, I didn't want to bring negativity to anyones day I just don't really have anywhere else to let it all out >_<. A huge shout out to @billybobtombo for reaching out to me & I appreciate everything Samaritans do for people, I'm just obviously not in the right head space at the moment but I hope I'm able to get over it all as I'm usually a happy guy but this does honestly suck 1,000,000%
 
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LittleMonsterUK

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PaddedArtist90 said:
Thanks everyone for all the kind words of wisdom, I didn't want to bring negativity to anyones day I just don't really have anywhere else to let it all out >_<. A huge shout out to @billybobtombo for reaching out to me & I appreciate everything Samaritans do for people, I'm just obviously not in the right head space at the moment but I hope I'm able to get over it all as I'm usually a happy guy but this does honestly suck 1,000,000%

If anything just fall back into little space more and try to forget about the adult stress 🙈 I did because mentally I can’t be an adult right now.
 
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PaddedArtist90

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LittleMonsterUK said:
If anything just fall back into little space more and try to forget about the adult stress 🙈 I did because mentally I can’t be an adult right now.
I really wish I was able to, I feel like I wasted money on those str8ups.
 

Subtlerustle

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PaddedArtist90 said:
Thanks everyone for all the kind words of wisdom, I didn't want to bring negativity to anyones day I just don't really have anywhere else to let it all out >_<. A huge shout out to @billybobtombo for reaching out to me & I appreciate everything Samaritans do for people, I'm just obviously not in the right head space at the moment but I hope I'm able to get over it all as I'm usually a happy guy but this does honestly suck 1,000,000%
All I can say through the internet is hang I there. While we are all unique, our problems are not. You have a lot of virtual support and warm wishes through this community.
 
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PaddedArtist90

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Just wanted to share an update, I have a long stint of driving in a couple of weeks for Christmas and what not & I have decided I will try to get myself into a dip before setting off to see whether I still have that interest or not.

I'm still having a very rough time & just don't feel as good as I normally do around this time of year, I thought a change of appearance would help but I still feel horrible both outside and inside, not quite sure where to turn.

Samaritans have been keeping in touch whenever I contact which I guess is an outlet for me as well and at least they don't judge I guess.

I hate feeling like this, haven't felt this low since I was in my late teens and on the verge of a seriously dark path, just wish I could kick myself out of it.

I'm a man for frick's sake & I shouldn't be this darn weak and pathetic.
 
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