A Very Funny Joke

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datosprivados

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-Dyslexic's raised on speaking Cantonese who are trying to learn to read and write Mandarin Chinese.
*(The symbolic stuff, not the romanized pinyin)
 

ScubaSteve

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okay okay I gotta joke that is pretty funny.

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds the explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
 

datosprivados

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I know it's not funny. Just hit my head... and decided to throw it to you viciously critical animals in the off-topic forum popularity arena.
 

Boogeyman

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You must never speek that name again... Its spoils the milk, it scares the chickens, it mindrapes the children. Its very existence is a bane to the world, and we must all do our part to destroy it, lest it get an add on Google.
 

Dream

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I know it's not funny. Just hit my head... and decided to throw it to you viciously critical animals in the off-topic forum popularity arena.
Who told you that we were viciously critical animals? That supposed to be a secret :laugh:
 

Icey

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I've got one for you!!

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting & relate it to the class the next day!!

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on, walked up to the front of the class, & with piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard & sat back down!!

Puzzled, the teacher asked what it was!! "It's a period," he replied!! "I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a period?"

"Darned if I know," he said, "but this morning my sister was missing one, my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, & the boy next door joined the Navy!!"
 

Fire2box

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here's what could be a extremely offensive one that was on a Danial Tosh special.

"They have a medical test to see if your kid is gay now. Its called the HIV test." Is it horrible yes, do I find it offensive not really. Not beacuse I am asexual but since its a joke and not all gay people get HIV.
 

Charlie

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Hehe... The HIV one is funny, obviously inaccurate, but very funny because you just can't say that! Like dead baby jokes...

I don't actually get the first joke.

I have a very funny joke... but it's more of one that needs to be told out loud...

How about:

Two men walk into a bar...
You'd have thought that one of them would have seen it!

:D
 

ScubaSteve

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Okay okay okay I got another one!

Three gay men died and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time and discussing what they planed to do with the ashes.
The first man said, " My Benny loved to fly, so im going up in a plane to scatter his ashes in the sky."
The Second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman. So im gonna scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover. I think im gonna dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
 
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Ok ok here's one

A man comes home to his wife, carrying a sheep under his arm. He announces:

"This is the pig I have sex with when you're not in the mood."

She looks at the sheep and says"

"I believe that's a sheep."

He responds:

"I believe you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
 

Corri

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Hmm....
I dont have a really good joke.. except for maybe this one
A man is fishing. In the water a fish waits for a fly, near by on a tree branch a cat waits for the fish. The fisher man is busy eying a raccoon. The raccoon is busy eying the fisherman's lunch.
The raccoon jumps at the fisherman's lunch, he jumps on the raccoon.
The fly, startled drops down three inches, the fish eats it. The cat jumps into the water to catch the fish.
Whats the moral of the story?
Every time a fly drops three inches a pussy gets wet.
 
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