A question to straight male ABDLs

[Saint]

Sorry to be a downer but my answer to the OP is I don’t really cope with it. I’ve been rejected by 3 vanilla long term girlfriends after telling them, and as someone who finds it hard meeting people I just gave up. I’ve no idea how I’ll find someone who accepts me for who I am.

 

[mickdl]

With the ratio of ABDL most not in a straight male's favor, how do you go about knowing we might not find a partner that will understand or know what we have to deal with?

There are a thousand ways to have fun with your partner. Would it be nice to have someone to get involved with? Yes. But a lot of other things have to fit as well - and to be honest, those are more important to me than this little kink. I've lived with my wife for over 20 years. She has accepted it and we have found our way to deal with it.

 

[pampers4U]

I've been in 4 different relationships where I got to the point that I told my girlfriends my deep dark secret, (2) ran for the hills, (1) took it in stride, didnt participate but knew about it and my 4th (hopefully last) and has been my fiancee for 2 years and loves me for being me, she has bought me ab/dl clothing, toys, diapers, ect.. changes me a lot and accepts me for this part of my personality.
My advice, don't give up and be fair, in relationships there is plenty of give and take, she's not a servant to me, and I'm not to her, but I do a lot of things out of love for her and she see's it, also relationships are not always smooth going either, there are and will be many bumps in the road, we've had many disagreements along our journey so far together, but never once did any of our arguments get bitter were she hit a low ball and attacked my ab side, that's when you know you've found a genuine / unconditional love.

 

[Fiammaverde]

I value freedom more than love. That, and not being DL, prevents me from getting bond in relationships.

 

[NewStudent]

As long as I am comfortable with my choices, I don't need anyone. I would really like to experience having someone change me, and really immersing myself I to my inner hidden little self. But for now, I'm fine.

 

[ChocChip]

I have someone in my life, but I'm at the point where I can go both ways. I can ditch the diapers and be fine with that----because I'd end up marrying my childhood friend which would make me insanely happy. I'm willing to make that sacrifice.

Does she not know about the diapers then? Or know and disapprove?

 

[CrazySmoker]

My last ExGF took it very badly, but I've to say one think: What I was drinking and smoking in 2007 to find that stupid woman ? - She's not all good mentally. Unsure which disorder she has, but sure it's triggered by her LSD abuse when adolescent... Long story short: My fetishes drives her crazy. If there's not my daughter in the middle, with much love I forget her.

But I know a pair of girls who are into this club. And it went good. The problem is they're married, so we can't see very often.

 

[Straycatz]

If it helps: Straight male DL here. Happily married.

She doesn't wear or change me - but she completely accepts that wearing is relaxing and comforting to me. And knows that I think of myself as a bedwetting toddler when I'm in that headspace.

She encourages me to 'get ready for bed' when she can tell I've had a stressful day - and she'll pat my bum and call me a good boy.

It's not full on role-play, as she's not comfortable with that. Similarly, if I'm wet I'll take care of myself fairly discreetly just to be sympathetic to the fact she's really accommodating of a kink she has no real interest in.

I guess my point is that it probably doesn't matter if you're a straight male ABDL. If you find the right person, then honest discussion and mature compromise will see you through most situations.

That is so cool that it works out for you like that. The scenario between my wife and myself is very similar. I don't push for more.

 

[Lyric]

Having a diaper fetish and enjoying a warm loving relationship with a girl is one of the most difficult bifectas to achieve. My own experience has been the biggest impediment to achieving my dream was my own fear of rejection, my own belief that having a diaper fetish, loving to wear diapers and rubber pants and going potty in them and even messing once in awhile was fundamently something most girls would find disgusting, or so childish as to be repulsive or at the least signify a man who could not be successful professional or a reliable provider or parent. I took me so long, so many years even decades to realize that I was simply wrong and that there are girls who can love me, diapers and all. Now not every girl will participate in my diapering as my fiancee has, but many are more than willing to love and support a guy who wears diapers and rubber pants by choice and not by IC. My fear of rejection and perhaps my own fear of being disgusting or weak was all that stood in the way of being loved and diapered at the same time and with the same girl. All I know is I love sex, I love wet, soggy diapers and I love my fiancee.

 

[quartz200420012]

Does she not know about the diapers then? Or know and disapprove?

She knew and didn’t have an issue

 

[ChocChip]

She knew and didn’t have an issue

Why would it involve ditching the diapers then, if you did go with her?

 

[ChocChip]

I'm the same as you. My family has lived in my area for hundreds of years as have most of the common names around me; if I'm not careful with someone who's one of those local, common names, there's a very good possibility we're distantly related somewhere.

Everyone’s distantly related somewhere, as I pointed out before... it’s believed that everyone of European ancestry shares a common ancestor within 1000 years and potentially less. If you want to avoid that, go and find an uncontacted Amazonian tribe or something

Genetic risks are minimal if you’re not closely related enough to know about it already.

 

[WanderingToddler]

Everyone’s distantly related somewhere, as I pointed out before... it’s believed that everyone of European ancestry shares a common ancestor within 1000 years and potentially less. If you want to avoid that, go and find an uncontacted Amazonian tribe or something

Genetic risks are minimal if you’re not closely related enough to know about it already.

I'm from a town today is like the I've described. Most people are only one or two degrees removed. To close for comfort. If not genetically then it is just awkward explaining why x aunt is an aunt in both sides of the family or something similar. I had the people in my senior class of 16 one was cousins with the other two, but those two were not cousins with each other, it for confusing for people. Luckily I was a transplant and only related to my immediate family.

 

[quartz200420012]

Why would it involve ditching the diapers then, if you did go with her?

Does she not know about the diapers then? Or know and disapprove?

Wow...brain fart on me. The previous girl knew. The current one doesn't.

 

[Lightstreak2553]

Everyone’s distantly related somewhere, as I pointed out before... it’s believed that everyone of European ancestry shares a common ancestor within 1000 years and potentially less. If you want to avoid that, go and find an uncontacted Amazonian tribe or something

Genetic risks are minimal if you’re not closely related enough to know about it already.

A common joke around here: if it's a second cousin or farther on down the family line, it should be relatively safe (my aunt literally married into the same family of her grandmother, but just in a different branch of said family).

 

[ChocChip]

A common joke around here: if it's a second cousin or farther on down the family line, it should be relatively safe (my aunt literally married into the same family of her grandmother, but just in a different branch of said family).

That was very common in generations gone by, when people didn’t move around as much. And in royalty until very recently, all the major European royal families were closely inter-related - the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh were actually distant cousins through two different lines of ancestry I believe!

 

[Lightstreak2553]

That was very common in generations gone by, when people didn’t move around as much. And in royalty until very recently, all the major European royal families were closely inter-related - the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh were actually distant cousins through two different lines of ancestry I believe!

Believe me, I'm in a few History groups and I've seen my fair share of memes about funny looking royals who had first cousins as parents.

 

[MASONJAR]

I'm i crazy if I said I'd give up all this ab stuff if it meant being with someone I truly love? (& truly loves me)

 

[Abdlchriscrinkle]

I just shrug my shoulders and get on with life. I've been single for a long while, so it's not new to me. Being a DL is part of who I am, so if I were to meet someone and she was dead set against it then the relationship would have no future.
Better to be happy on my own than be in a relationship that suppresses something I enjoy and is harmless.

I couldn't state it any better myself. Ditto.

 

[NappyCouple1980]

I’m very happily married with a wife who wears from time-to-time (less now we have kids than before), who also lets me wear whenever.