A moment for honoring my friend

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Jakethefox

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I know it isnt today that he died, but its in a few days and im afraid I wont be on then...
Dave died on Febuary 23rd 2002... in my arms... A fatal drive-by shooting pierced his lungs and left a scar on my right side, he died a few minutes later...
<please, no one feel sorry for me.. it was my fault.>
I decided to take a walk on portage road <leads to the bad side of town>, I decided I would walk with dave to the park, simple, only a few blocks, seemed alright, so me and him start walking, me and him where wearing identical blue tees, a color of a rival gang... if only I knew...
A few minutes later we arrived in the park, only to have a white cadalac deville drive by and fire at us... stupid racist swine...
Dave had been on my right side, I was walking by the grass, a bullet flew through him and just sliced across my ribs... I had no idea what happened until Dave had fallen over onto me... gasping for air like a fish out of water, the bullet had probabley punctured his diapram <the thingy that makes you breath> because he didnt seem to be breathing, his cold body knocked me over, his dying corpse in my arms...
It had only been 5 years since that day, and 5 years before that day we were in the field by my old trailer <lived in a trailer park back in the day>, A drifter or someone <dunno, crazy ****er> was walking through the park, I thought nothing of this, so me and Dave continued playing in the field, the only thing I remember was a sharp pain in my gut... Dave had ran back to my trailer and alerted my mother I was hurt... smart kid.... miss him everyday...
I have decided when I get the money, I will have his name tatoo'd onto my back, he always had my back, and I tried to save his... and I failed...
will you ever forgive me Dave?
today the guitar I remembered him always playing was broken in half.. im going to have it repaired soon...

A lil' about dave

Dave was a friend of mine I had known since kindergarten, he was both urinal and fecal incontinent, I felt bad for him so I started wearing when I went around his house, that is a big reason why im DL, its not just afetish to me, its a life style.
 

Takashi

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I have decided when I get the money, I will have his name tatoo'd onto my back
That sounds like a great way to remeber him, I think Dave would be proud of you.
 

Moo

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I feel sorry for your loss.

However, I strongly advise against getting any kind of tattoo.

I know this may seem nuts, but you need to let go of your friend and get on with your life.
I'm not saying you should forget him. I'm just saying you would be better off if you diddn't let the sorrow hold you back.
Getting his name tattooed on your body is unwise, because it will mean you never let him go, and thus probably spend the rest of your life beating yourself up over something that isn't your fault.

And it isn't your fault. It really isn't. You're 15 now. Five years ago you would have been 10.
How the heck were you meant to know all about gang t-shirt colors when you were 10 years old?

Stop beating yourself up over this. It isn't your fault.

If he were here now, he would say the same thing to you as I am saying now : it isn't your fault, I'm in a better place... you can let go of me and get on with your life.

Take the time to express your feelings. Have a good cry or something IRL. Then, move on and do something else.
 

quattrus

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I find it quite horrible that someone could shoot at two 10 y/o kids for gang rivalry reasons, for how bad that side of the town could possibly be (it's horrible shooting at people in any case, but what happened to you is even worse).
 

Raccoon

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You are under so much stress right now... And with guilt and grief on top... All I can do is remind you not to do anything rash or that will have long-term consequences... Like any sort of scarring (decorative or not) - that is - tattoos or self-harm... or running away... Hang in there...
 

Jakethefox

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Moo and Racoon, you are both right, I need to go on living and stop with the past, its just all the stress im under.. its controlling my mind
 
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i have nothing to say. i can't believe that. i don't care if its true or not, i'm not going to believe it. even if i saw it happen i wouldn't believe it. thats awful.

well, i hope you can get rid of your stress, because i wouldn't be able to in your situation.

enjoy what your friend has done for you, and honor him forever, thats all i have to say.
 

starshine

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I have to agree, no tattoo.

I am so sorry with your loss. That must have been extremely tough to go through, especially when you were so young. Just keep his memory alive, but don't let it control your life. You have to find a medium of the two.
 

ShippoFox

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This is insane. How could anyone do that?! I left this topic and came back tonight.... hoping it wasn't real... but here it is. I don't understand it. At that age.... that's just too young to be any sort of threat to a gang. I really hope that the person who did this evil thing got what he had coming to him eventually. This is almost making me cry...

So.... Never forget your friend, but don't let it control your life. It might be hard, but do your best. A tattoo may not be a good idea, but I'm sure you can find some other way to honor him if you really want to do so.
 
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I am truely sorry for your loss Jake. Although it is not your fault, not in the least bit, you were only 10 years old!!! Thats that part I have a hard time beleiving. Just like qauttrus said "someone can shoot two 10 year old kids of gan rivalry reasons." I mean even if they thought you were apart of a gang, I do not even think they noticed you were 10, they probably just smoked a blunt already drunk and just saw blue so they went crazy basically. Thats how I am interpretting it, because if they did know you all were about 10, well then that is just plain sick.

Please do your best to try and move on. I suggest getting some therapy, you really need it. Also remember it really is not your fault, Dave knows that you did everything you could at 10 years old to save him. Be grateful you are alive and that he was such a loyal friend.
 

Squigma

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That's awful. The idea that someone could do that to someone so young just makes me feel sick. I'm so sorry you had to experience that, no one should have to go through something like this.

Don't get the tatoo. The best way to honour him is to remember the good times your shared.
 

ScubaSteve

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That's really awful that someone would shoot at 10 year olds like that. And don't beat yourself up over his death, there was no way of knowing at your age that blue was a gang color.
 
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wow... I dunno what to say. Im sorry to your loss. I really pisses me off that racists & nazists think they are superior and the true human being aryan. I mean wtf on every part of the world there is a man with different skin colour because of the sun. how stupid can they be. And that they shot at 10 year olds!? you where just kids. WTF is wrong with these stupid people? they are monsters!

I dont know about you guys but I think tattooing his name on your back is big sign of respect to him! I would probably do the same thing
 

andysetra

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That is just awful how something like that could happen...10 years old! I know when I was 10 I didn't know jack. Anyway, don't get the tattoo. It's not that you won't want to honour him years from now...it's just that tattoos are permanent.
 

Martin

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Damn. That's awful. But if you were only 10 years old at that time you can not have any guilt in it. It's just those dammed gangs. I as a lot of others here can't understand how people could shoot at a couple of 10 year olds over a gang rivalry. It's just horrible. And judging on your posts you've had a lot of stuff happen to you lately. don't let this add to that load too much. Take care.
 

Jakethefox

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yea, too much is happening to me martin... but what is worse is that this happens all the time... its like this crap follows me everywhere I go... like I have bad luck...
 

Martin

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Well in that case you're doing a great job of keeping your life together. Keep on going and you'll get though it all.
 

PuddleFopsKit

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WOW- that is both horrible, and sick at the same time. But if it helps,(it probably won't ,but..) I doubt that gang thought you were that young. Gangs are often ruthless, but they usually have some sort of morals to follow, such as shooting ten year olds.. So either these guys were simply mistaken, or they were just cold blooded killers. Either one is no excuse, but whatever the reason, it still isn't your fault.

There is no way you could've known that what you were wearing was a gang color, just as you couldn't have predicted that would happen. Unfortunately, life is full of tragedies, and it seems like you've had a lot of hardship lately, but don't blame yourself, and beat yourself up over it. You were a good friend to him, as he being incontinent, probably didn't have many friends. You made his life special, and you did everything you could have possibly done for him being as young as you were. While I can understand the idea of you getting a tattoo, I feel that in the long run, that will only increase your sorrow. You can never forget your friend, but it probably isn't best to honor him that way. Sucha terrible thing leaves enough scars as it is, so I don't think it's wise to increase that sorrow by having a perminent reminder like that.

You honored him everyday, just by being his friend, and I'm sure if he was here, he would tell you the same. This thread is very sad, and I am crying right now.. I know whats it like to lose someone special to you, and if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you, as well as everyone else on this forum.

Hang in there, Jake. We're all thinking about you, and I have a special place in my heart for you,and Dave. I know you didn't want symphathy over this, but I just can't help feeling an intense sorrow over happened that day to you.

RIP, Dave. I didn't know you, but no one deserves to go that way, especially by a bunch of mixed up losers, who obviously have no sympathy for their actions, or any sense of morals. I hope you are in a better place right now, and this story has really touched me in a deep way. Hopefully this make people realize, that all the hatred in this world, is completely useless, and will ultimately lead to nothing good in this world.

I can't go on anymore.. I hope that helped, but I know nothing will take away the sorrow you are feeling, but again, this isn't your fault. Sometimes life works in funny ways, but I guarantee you, that Karma will catch up to them..

:hugpile: for Jake!
 

Jakethefox

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thank you for the support Chromos,

Well... today 5 years ago was the day... The last time I saw him simile... and the day my heart broke... I never smiled since that day until I met Grizzy, he has made my life a little better... *hugs grizzy*, I would just let yall know this is the reason I am who I am today, I am highly against gangs, just a bunch of stupid people fighting over dirt. Me and Dave will be together forever, I always thought of him has my big diapered bro, I know he is watching over me still,

RIP Dave D.
October 22nd 1992 - Febuary 23rd 2002
 

Martin

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Well, make this a turning point. Let it go now. That doesn't mean forgetting it but stop letting it follow you around. Be grateful for him and remember all the good times you had with him. But let this event go. I have never known him but I'm sure that's how he wanted it to be. I'm sure he didn't want you to feel sad about him like the way you're doing how. He sounds like an awesome person, remember him like that!

:grouphug:
 
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