A little lost or a lost little

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DonnieHendrix

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Hey

I’m not so sure what I’m doing here really, I guess hoping to find some positive energy in the form of community.
I’m from the UK (south west) in my 30’s married with kids, struggling to keep us afloat.
Interests I guess I could say gaming and reading books though I haven’t really done either for a long time.
I used to play in a little band with friends.

As far as being AB/DL goes I know I’m my heart I am but that’s as far as I think I will ever get. My wife intially told me it wasn’t a problem and she would support me in whatever I do, of course that was before marriage. Now on the odd occasion where I have worn a shop bought pull-up (when I’ve been brave enough to buy them) she has ridiculed and humiliated me in a nasty way, calling me pathetic and a freak. She has used my desires to blackmail me saying I could never leave her as she would tell everyone my secret. I feel so trapped and alone knowing I will never be able to enjoy these urges, only be ashamed of them.

For a few years I’ve secretly visited abdl sites and it just seems like a magical world I would love to be part of, I get kind of jealous seeing people who are living that life so accepted and even have partners or close friends join in. I would give anything to have a ‘mummy’ to care for me and change me and cuddle me and make me feel safe, but I know that just isn’t going to happen for me.

I guess it’s not hard for me to see why I am this way, I had to grow up quickly to look after my siblings. And my submissive nature would lend itself so well to being babied. But alas the obedient husband is the role I have.

I’m hoping maybe talking to people here I could swap some of my shame for confidence and perhaps one day even fight my corner a little and even get some enjoyment from my odd desires.

Sorry this has been a terrible intro hasn’t it, properly far too down in the dumps. It just kind of spilled out as I typed. I understand if it violates terms, please advise.
 

PCBaby

Est. Contributor
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1,371
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Adult Baby, Little, Incontinent
Hi DonnieHendrix,
welcome to Adisc. That's a very good introduction and I feel for you in the situation you are in. I was fortunate in that my wife was a nurse and took my incontinence and my little side in her stride. I am sure you will find all the support you need in here. We are a friendly group although we may disagree from time to time, so no need to be worried or nervous, nobody is going to ridicule or humiliate youy in here. I suggest you look through the forums and find a few you like, then join in and add to the conversations. It's a case of the more you put in, the morer you will get out.

In the meantime I hope you can persuade your wife to at least let you wear occasionally without the negativity. If you ever need an ear or a shoulder, i have two of each.
 

DonnieHendrix

Contributor
Messages
16
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
Thank you, I will have a good look around and hopefully find some things that resonate and like I said feel a bit more positive about the future.
 

ESPF

Est. Contributor
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1,091
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
Hello Donnie,
Welcome to the group.
Wow. I really wish I had more to offer here than just a "welcome". But... I really don't even know where to start.
You story story/situation sounds vagly remanisant of the relationship between my own mother & stepdad. The two spent the last fifty years of there lives making making eacother miserable, fighting. But neither one seemed to be willing to give it up. So... I suppose I sort of understand it.
 
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