A Delayed Apology

SherriLil

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My brother reminded me with an offhand remark of someone who's plight, I believe, informed at least some of my emotional landscape as a kid. We were discussing a case that's in the papers where the local Child Services department got called on the carpet during a government audit for a case where a kid was left in abusive circumstances despite warning signs, and the police eventually became involved. One of the things referred to in the case was the kid, from age 7 - 10, sometimes came to school in pull-ups, and, he ended up suffering a major UTI that spread to his kidneys and left him in a catatonic state. When the cops went to the apartment where he lived, they found squaller, including soiled pull-ups all over the place. The kid was put into a foster placement and is reportedly doing well.
In the process of discussing the case, my brother asked me if I remembered [removed]. [removed] was a kid we went to school with, who was in my class in maybe grade 1 -3. Here's the thing - [removed] was playing in the schoolyard and he bent over and someone said that he had a diaper on. Another kid then tried to pants him, which was prevented by other kids, but not before his pants got hauled partway down, which appeared to suggest that he had a diaper on under underwear. The kids involved got dragged down to the office and yelled at, and [removed] went home, and came back a day or two later. But, from then, onward, until I lost track of him - I'm not sure if he moved away or if we just weren't in the same class anymore - people whispered "[removed] wears diapers" behind his back.
That was during a time when I wore diapers to bed, and, my brother and my sister, both of whom attended the same school I did, knew about it, of course. So, I was terrified of meeting the same fate. The idea of being "outed" generated dramatically outsized anxiety in me. I lived in fear of my brother having a friend over to our house, and deciding to dig through my closet for a toy, for example, because of course there was usually a box of diapers in there. Or, if one of my friends dropped by, I'd leave them standing by the door awkwardly while I streaked upstairs to throw blankets on top of the diaper box. I'd take the bathroom garbage can, if it had a diaper in it, and put it in the bathtub and pull the curtain over it. I'd threaten my brother with violence if he made any wisecracks. My sister I couldn't intimidate, so I'd beg my mom to please, please warn her that she'll be in trouble if she tells anyone. [removed]'s living example dominated my psyche for a couple of years. So, when my brother asked me if I remembered him, I immediately did - and I realized I hadn't thought about him in years.
[removed] of East York, Ontario, if you're out there, and you're reading this, I'm sorry for what happened to you. I didn't really participate, but I didn't throw you a lifeline, either - I was just glad it was someone else. I hope you turned out okay. If I could go back, I'd like to think I'd stand next to you, rather than gawk from the sidelines. My apologies.

[name removed] ~KitsuneFox
 
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SparkyDog

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i can't for the life of me understand the stigma that exists to this day why kids / youth / teens heck even adults make fun of someone wearing a diaper to the point they want to make sure everyone sees it. It seems to be most prevalent in diaper bullying than any other disability out there
Its mind blowing
 
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Vistavision99

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This is honestly one of the best posts I’ve read in a while.
 
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Nowididit

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SparkyDog said:
i can't for the life of me understand the stigma that exists to this day why kids / youth / teens heck even adults make fun of someone wearing a diaper to the point they want to make sure everyone sees it. It seems to be most prevalent in diaper bullying than any other disability out there
Its mind blowing
Oh trust me, there are other way more prevalent bullying tactics than wearing a diaper.
 

dpcare

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That is really sad bullying is such a horrible thing and an older child using diapers is definitely a potential target for bullying
I remember back when I was in Junior High School one day I was sitting in the Commons Area talking to some friends there was one kid in special needs classes who wore diapers and another kid who was a well-known bully went to give the kid in diapers a wedgie well when he came up with a handful of torn diaper well there was an outburst of laughter all over the kid wearing the diapers ran to the Nurses office and the bully was taken to the Vice Principles office

there was a TV show called Oliver Beene and in an episode called Soup to Nuts there was a bully called "Nick Name" Nick Name would relentlessly pick on people and create Nick Names for anyone's shortcomings or incidents well Nick Name had a hidden secret he wore "Rubber Underwear" well his reign as a bully came to an end when his he was pantsed and his secret was exposed

 
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SherriLil

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That was awesome man - I'd never heard of this. I never wore diapers to school, but, that was exactly what I feared, metaphorically - that my sister or someone else would tell everyone I wore Pampers to bed. So I was horrified when they pantsed Nick Paul and his diaper was partially exposed in the schoolyard. Poor kid, man. At least in this one, it was the bully that got exposed. I can't imagine wearing cloth diapers and plastic panties to school. Tough gig - at least plastic disposables are somewhat concealable.
 
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