Fetishism

[Crise]

Thanks guys, I don't think I need to be the one to tell you I'm pretty messed up from a lot...

My dear try not to be so afraid of being you. The help you need will come from within yourself.

 

[TeddyBearCowboy]

The definition of fetish will depend on who you ask; for most people, however, a fetish is anything that causes sexual arousal. This could be any object, act, or situation that is not considered a normal sexual situation; whether it be a fantasy or a real scenario. Sometimes people may find that the fetish is required for sexual satisfaction.

Nice post Lobie, but if only it was something that could actually be understood in a scientific manner. After many decades of studying this, after posting my own theories and understanding, and continually reading and trying to learn what the psychiatric and scientific world sees this as... I am convinced there does not exist a real and complete description of what being ABDL is. It is like trying to describe the Grand Canyon to someone who has never seen it. You can say it is a deep and beautiful canyon with lots of colors and rock formations and the like, but you will never fully describe or understand it unless you have experienced it yourself. And then, even then, it will be impossible to provide the correct words that will capture what it is as it changes from season to season and from visitor to visitor.

You gave a good overall description, and I appreciate your sharing, but again, I am convinced that there does not exist a sound understanding of the facets of what this really is and what it is all about.

Its a process of learning and for each of us it is slightly or greatly different. For me, it is not a fetish or paraphilia as what it used to be understood as. As I read more about what this means and the sexual nature of fetishes or paraphilia, I throw this out as trash. As there may be a sexual component, but it often may not. So clumping it as something that IS, is not fully correct. Like clumping in one who likes shoes as having a fetish, but in reality, they just like shoes and don't have sexual feelings towards it. Are there shoe fetishists, well yeah, but that doesn't make everyone who is into shoes a fetishist.

It is in a category that is really, or in my opinion, really should be its own category. We who are ABDL just are. We exist, we have the desire to wear diapers and regress at times (or not) or we might just like feeling babyish, or just the feeling of wearing a diaper. That is a broad spectrum and only hits upon a small part of the full diversity of what ABDL or DL folks may feel. To some is it a fetish, I know it is. But again, that doesn't explain or say that it is a fetish for others.

Hence, it just is. Better to accept yourself and your feelings for who you are and what it means to you, than try to clump everyone in a box where you don't really fit.

Is it a bad thing to try to understand it and consider what psychologists and other "professionals" may have concluded? Well no, but the fact is that they haven't yet gotten it perfect, so I would caution folks to take these studies with a grain of salt. They have some good points and rationale, but they haven't gotten it right yet. Nor I highly doubt they ever fully will.

 

[LifeInPlastic]

Many people link "fetish" automatically to sexual fetishes because it is the most prominent spectrum of fetishism. But essentially a fetish is an "emotionally supercharged object" or an object that holds immense power in your perspective. A talisman people wear for protection against evil is a good example for non sexual fetish object(you have to REALLY believe in the amulett to have this power).

Cheers

 

[Crise]

It's like all the raves for shows like Jerry Springer or Maury Povich.. Those shows just make fun of serious subjects.

Well said, short to the point.

 

[Crise]

It's like all the raves for shows like Jerry Springer or Maury Povich.. Those shows just make fun of serious subjects.

Well said, I believe they make fun of what they're afraid of- ignorance can be bliss.

 

[DylanLewis]

Something missing in all this truly good info as with most med theories is the existence of the Soul. We- I believe are much more than computers to be imprinted/programmed to react to Stemmles.

Crise

Hear. Hear. You may be interested in Donald W. Winnicott's concept of The True Self (and its converse the False Self). The True Self is as close as I have seen a secular psychiatrist and psychoanalyst come to recognizing the soul and incorporating that in their concept of psychological health. Winnicott (b.1986 d.1971) has been described as the greatest British psychoanalyst who ever lived. He is outstanding for his insight, humanity, and humility. During the WW2 London Blitz he drove through the bombed streets to the BBC to deliver his inspirational and conversational radio lectures on child development for parents struggling to care for their children in the midst of the war - a testament to humanity and hope in a world gone mad. He had a realistic yet optimistic view of the human condition. He wasn't just a brilliant theorist but a gifted clinician who brought healing to troubled children and tormented adults. Winnicott believed that psychological health was more than just the absence of pathology or illness. Winnicott believed that the True Self is what makes us uniquely and authentically ourselves. It is there in the spontaneous 'aha' moments as we discover life and ourselves, and the source of our creativity. It is authentic but not selfish.

Regards. Dylan.

Donald Winnicott - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

True self and false self - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Crise]

Crise

Hear. Hear. You may be interested in Donald W. Winnicott's concept of The True Self (and its converse the False Self). The True Self is as close as I have seen a secular psychiatrist and psychoanalyst come to recognizing the soul and incorporating that in their concept of psychological health. Winnicott (b.1986 d.1971) has been described as the greatest British psychoanalyst who ever lived. He is outstanding for his insight, humanity, and humility. During the WW2 London Blitz he drove through the bombed streets to the BBC to deliver his inspirational and conversational radio lectures on child development for parents struggling to care for their children in the midst of the war - a testament to humanity and hope in a world gone mad. He had a realistic yet optimistic view of the human condition. He wasn't just a brilliant theorist but a gifted clinician who brought healing to troubled children and tormented adults. Winnicott believed that psychological health was more than just the absence of pathology or illness. Winnicott believed that the True Self is what makes us uniquely and authentically ourselves. It is there in the spontaneous 'aha' moments as we discover life and ourselves, and the source of our creativity. It is authentic but not selfish.

Regards. Dylan.

Donald Winnicott - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

True self and false self - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

thank You>

 

[Luminaire]

Therapist’s Jasmin Lee Cori’s book ‘The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect’ is a good self help resource for healing an insecure attachment.

Thank you for recommending this. I purchased it immediately.

 

[Crise]

Sometimes it is just who we are, acceptance not healing is wats needed.

 

[DylanLewis]

Sometimes it is just who we are, acceptance not healing is wats needed.

Crise

For me acceptance and healing are related. My deepest hurts and wounds came from feeling that important parts of me would be unacceptable to those close to me (and had to be withheld to avoid rejection or derision). Conversely the greatest healing came from those parts of me being accepted by my partner.

Donald Winnicott has some profound thinking on this under the issue of 'mirroring' - which goes back to early attachment experiences between parent and child. The mother attuned to her baby accurately mirrors in her face her baby’s state of being. [Winnicott died in 1971 so his references to the mother, meaning primary caregiver, were valid for his time.] The baby sees itself in that mirror and their sense of self and their experiences are validated. Winnicott saw this as vitally important. It is a foundation of the True Self, and beyond that, the baby’s healthy psychological development. He summed it up with the phrase –

“When I look I am seen, so I exist. I can now afford to look and see.”

This dynamic continues in a modified form through life. When we feel truly 'seen' for who we are and accepted we feel validated and enabled to be the best of ourselves, for ourselves and others (our True Self). And we can see and accept the True Self of others. Conversely when we feel that part of ourselves is unacceptable to others we learn to dissemble or mask that part of ourselves under a conformity with what is expected by, or acceptable to, others (our False Self). Part of us can feel 'deadened', like we are just going through the motions. And from the position of False Self we require the conformity of others to society's expectations.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[Electroman]

Sometimes it is just who we are, acceptance not healing is wats needed.

I Agee nothing wrong with having a fetish. Others may have a critical view of your fetish, mine started at 13 when mom mistakenly put a pair of sasses panties in my drawer, and I fell asleep in them. Next morning when mom woke me for school. Mom was shocked, when dad found out he immediately call the Head Shrinker. Just to be told that it was normal for young boys to be carious about the differences of boys and girls. I found that panties were comfier than my tightly whites. Put my love for Panties on hold for 40+ years. Now I can't get enough and after 47 pairs in a month. I still want more.

 

[TheDiaperdStoner]

Behaviourism beings fetishism back to classical conditioning, and has provided new specialized theories. The common idea among all such theories is that sexual arousal and the fetish object are presented simultaneously causing them to be connected. This is similar to Alfred Binet's earlier theory of associations but leaves out the judgment of pathogenicity.

The lovemap begins forming around the age of 2, and may finish at about the age of 8, though these aren't hard definitive numbers and there may be some differences from person to person. A paraphilic lovemap is a lovemap that has lust attached to fetishistic desires or behaviours.

The lovemap can develop paraphilically due to childhood abuse that is overtly sexual, such as incestuous acts against the child, sadomasochistic behavior, or pedophilia. A lovemap that develops this way is often called a "vandalized lovemap" which could result in serious or dangerous paraphilias

That sounds like my situation. Aside from outbursts I'm pretty chill. Tho my diaper habits didn't start sexually. Id watch videos of woman messing diapers and panties and I'd mess with them in my diaper or undies from toughly 10 to 18. Around 18 i started smoking weed and i think that jump started things. I got plastic pants so i wouldn't leak and i could wet more the abena L4 diapers i get can hold 3 full wettings sitting and another couple on hands and knees. And i descuverd diaper humping. And as much as i love pleasure and euphoria in general sometimes i wish diapers stayed a coping mechanism and didn't turn into something sexual.

 

[Clothdiaperman]

I do not identify with ADBL. I could see ADBL as a problem not a solution. What if the ADBL tendencies make some act out in a negative way towards a child? How are they dealt with? Are mental health care leaves a lot to be desired now in the current time. I do not feel the need to dress, or decorate my living space or act in mannerisms of a child. I do feel that being in cloth diapers and plastic pants gave me an object attachment and a since of comfort peace, and arousal that never went away. I had thoughts of wanting to be in cloth diapers and plastic pants into my adulthood and did not undusted these desires. I identify with the concept of cloth diaper lover. I feel the desire to wear cloth diapers and plastic pants 24/7 because of the way they make me feel and the sexual gratification that they also provide. I limit my wearing to around the house in private and every night at bed time. I have gone without wear diapers at night when around family or when there is circumstance where my habit would cause questions or problems. I do not like times when I can not wear diapers and plastic pants. I am uncomfortable when can not be in in cloth diapers and plastic pants. I wish there was more research to the how, what and why of diaper lovers or diaper fetish,

 

[Woncrinklz]

We can be a fetish item for our pets.......UG. Pets have a way of.....never mind. But it's true. Horney darn thangs!

 

[KarmaBaby3]

I do not identify with ADBL. I could see ADBL as a problem not a solution. What if the ADBL tendencies make some act out in a negative way towards a child? How are they dealt with? Are mental health care leaves a lot to be desired now in the current time. I do not feel the need to dress, or decorate my living space or act in mannerisms of a child. I do feel that being in cloth diapers and plastic pants gave me an object attachment and a since of comfort peace, and arousal that never went away. I had thoughts of wanting to be in cloth diapers and plastic pants into my adulthood and did not undusted these desires. I identify with the concept of cloth diaper lover. I feel the desire to wear cloth diapers and plastic pants 24/7 because of the way they make me feel and the sexual gratification that they also provide. I limit my wearing to around the house in private and every night at bed time. I have gone without wear diapers at night when around family or when there is circumstance where my habit would cause questions or problems. I do not like times when I can not wear diapers and plastic pants. I am uncomfortable when can not be in in cloth diapers and plastic pants. I wish there was more research to the how, what and why of diaper lovers or diaper fetish,

Or ABDL people can end up interacting with kids at their own emotional, mental level and be able to understand and play even better than “normal” people. Lots of ABDL have great imaginations and can let loose and actually play with the kids in their games instead of the half asked amount most parents do ……

I don’t see how liking diapers and baby items could act negatively to a child? The worse would be maybe taking a toy from them and making them cry. It could be the people that get sexual gratification that maybe get a bit too excited around a baby in a diaper that would be more at risk in my view. A wet diaper gives me the same pleasure as a foot or back rub …. Nothing sexual here.

 

[Electroman]

Nice post Lobie, but if only it was something that could actually be understood in a scientific manner. After many decades of studying this, after posting my own theories and understanding, and continually reading and trying to learn what the psychiatric and scientific world sees this as... I am convinced there does not exist a real and complete description of what being ABDL is. It is like trying to describe the Grand Canyon to someone who has never seen it. You can say it is a deep and beautiful canyon with lots of colors and rock formations and the like, but you will never fully describe or understand it unless you have experienced it yourself. And then, even then, it will be impossible to provide the correct words that will capture what it is as it changes from season to season and from visitor to visitor.

You gave a good overall description, and I appreciate your sharing, but again, I am convinced that there does not exist a sound understanding of the facets of what this really is and what it is all about.

Its a process of learning and for each of us it is slightly or greatly different. For me, it is not a fetish or paraphilia as what it used to be understood as. As I read more about what this means and the sexual nature of fetishes or paraphilia, I throw this out as trash. As there may be a sexual component, but it often may not. So clumping it as something that IS, is not fully correct. Like clumping in one who likes shoes as having a fetish, but in reality, they just like shoes and don't have sexual feelings towards it. Are there shoe fetishists, well yeah, but that doesn't make everyone who is into shoes a fetishist.

It is in a category that is really, or in my opinion, really should be its own category. We who are ABDL just are. We exist, we have the desire to wear diapers and regress at times (or not) or we might just like feeling babyish, or just the feeling of wearing a diaper. That is a broad spectrum and only hits upon a small part of the full diversity of what ABDL or DL folks may feel. To some is it a fetish, I know it is. But again, that doesn't explain or say that it is a fetish for others.

Hence, it just is. Better to accept yourself and your feelings for who you are and what it means to you, than try to clump everyone in a box where you don't really fit.

Is it a bad thing to try to understand it and consider what psychologists and other "professionals" may have concluded? Well no, but the fact is that they haven't yet gotten it perfect, so I would caution folks to take these studies with a grain of salt. They have some good points and rationale, but they haven't gotten it right yet. Nor I highly doubt they ever fully will.

 

[Electroman]

Well stated I'm a sissy I love to wear panties and paint my nails. I get no sexual satisfaction from it. Ijust makes me happy. A Head shrinker would call it something totally different such as Men Don't do these things, there must be something wrong with you. My Female customers love it. most men like it too. It's the 3% that has a problem with It.

 

[Josephine]

Thank you for posting this. I've always been fascinated by other people's fetishes and kinks. I have some of my own.
For me, DL is a kink, not a fetish. I'm not turned on by the diaper itself. Perhaps my fetsh here, would be the act of wetting as I feel the wet warmth cover my skin against the diaper.
Or maybe it's because it's still a bit if a taboo for me.
An example of one of my fetishes, would be my attraction to some "silicone sculptures". I actually become aroused by the sight of some of these objects.
I'm still learning to accept and understand myself. But you have me thinking. Thank you for that.

 

[dlissexy]

fascinating in depth stuff , man.

 

[KBoy]

Solid, a thread and posts that deserve a reread