2 Videos Defining AB/DL

RileyKilo

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Hi there! I'm Riley and I've been making AB/DL related content for the last 10+ years, I haven't posted in a while and wanted to share 2 of my newest videos.

These videos cover AB/DL as a fetish and as an identity, and I'd love to hear feedback and constructive criticism about them! I'm about to have a large amount of attention on my Youtube channel and wanted something that served as a quick way to dispell misconceptions etc.

You can find my "What is AB/DL video" here

and my "Is AB/DL a Fetish" video here

For more context (and some cute pics and stuff) you can read more on my blog, StayDiapered.com

Thanks for your time, I'm posting this in Mature Topics because these discussions can get a little grown-up. Just be polite and understand that I tried to keep the door wide open in these videos, and that the intent is not to minimalize or stereotype any identities or interests, more to explain the diversity of them to the layman.

Cool! Thanks for watching <3

[I've also posted this on DailyDiapers, so pardon for any crossposting annoyances]
 

MissAmy

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oh wow.. i never thought i'd ever see you post here. i love your videos, you're sooooo cute and sweet 🥰
 

Drifter

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Outstanding, well balanced videos for those already in the ABDL community. For the vanilla world, though, the videos gloss over the single most important factor: the cause. To dismiss the cause as unknown and unknowable pretty much leaves just one possibility in the minds of most people - that it is some kind of derangement or delusion. In other words, they will assume it is a mental illness, and modern society has an obligation to determine how to handle mental illnesses and to continue looking for cures for them.

But what if it isn't a mental illness? Your description of ABDL behavior as being sometimes, but not exclusively, sexual; and that it often involves a sense of security, comfort, and even fulfillment, sounds remarkably similar to another human (and animal) tendency: selecting and bonding with a mate. Modern research over the last 70 years gives us reason to believe these seemingly disparate behaviors could have the same natural cause.
 

CaterpillarSick

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Outstanding, well balanced videos for those already in the ABDL community. For the vanilla world, though, the videos gloss over the single most important factor: the cause. To dismiss the cause as unknown and unknowable pretty much leaves just one possibility in the minds of most people - that it is some kind of derangement or delusion. In other words, they will assume it is a mental illness, and modern society has an obligation to determine how to handle mental illnesses and to continue looking for cures for them.

But what if it isn't a mental illness? Your description of ABDL behavior as being sometimes, but not exclusively, sexual; and that it often involves a sense of security, comfort, and even fulfillment, sounds remarkably similar to another human (and animal) tendency: selecting and bonding with a mate. Modern research over the last 70 years gives us reason to believe these seemingly disparate behaviors could have the same natural cause.
The problem is there is no known cause. Paraphilias and fetishes are an area of research that has a relative dearth of knowledge. A few hypotheses have been ruled out, but we don’t know what causes someone to develop a paraphilia or fetish.
 

neophyte

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Great videos and it is nice to see you here. I am thrown off as to why you are so strict on your content being 18+ and asking people under 18 to leave and go figure it out for themselves. Perhaps it's just an effort to avoid any conflict, but it gives the impression that ABDL is R rated which does not help with the stigma.

ABDL should be seen as a safe and friendly life style which starts for many of us when we are children.
 

RedPandaDL

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Really good videos. Couple things I liked: first that you explained the wide spectrum of AB/DL and the different reasons for people liking it and not all liking the same things. Second, that you focused on discretion and keeping this to yourself or yourself and your partner. Offending others (or making them feel uncomfortable) in public can make others feel more negative about AB/DL and those who participate in it. Nice job!
 

dogboy

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Hi Riley and it's good to see you on the site again. I've seen one or two of your vids on Youtube and I think you present us well and honestly. I'm not sure about cause either as so many of us have different stories. Some have strict parents, some liberal. Some potty trained early, some late. I'm not sure cause is important. What is important is that most of us are normal people, working jobs, often married with children, etc. Being AB/DL is one of many differences in how we as people see ourselves, sometimes with a sexual connection and sometimes not. We are a diverse group.
 

Spaz

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I thought they were great. I especially liked the second video where you discuss what is and what is not appropriate public behavior. I'm not sure who the audience is here (perhaps the ABDL community itself?), but I appreciate you taking the role of discussing appropriate boundaries for the ABDL community.
 

Drifter

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The problem is there is no known cause. Paraphilias and fetishes are an area of research that has a relative dearth of knowledge. A few hypotheses have been ruled out, but we don’t know what causes someone to develop a paraphilia or fetish.
Once people realize that terms like "paraphilia" and "fetish" are more social judgements than valid scientific distinctions they will be better able to understand the body of knowledge scientific research has been uncovering for years dealing with bonding and mate selection in humans and animals. Modern brain research and the burgeoning field of epigenetics lend support to theories that the distinction we make between normal sexual behavior and paraphilias is largely artificial, and that they are all likely to be caused by the same, observable, natural process, even if we don't fully understand the mechanics involved.
 

BobbiSueEllen

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I am thrown off as to why you are so strict on your content being 18+ and asking people under 18 to leave and go figure it out for themselves. Perhaps it's just an effort to avoid any conflict, but it gives the impression that ABDL is R rated which does not help with the stigma.
Because it's far too easy to find yourself in a legal situation where the minor-AB/DL-in-question's parents/guardians could see this all in the wrong light, get shocked, put their legal foot in, press charges and either their lawyer or a DA could even do so much as throw in sexual misconduct, 'grooming', or other pedophilic ideas. It's happened before...and especially after the "YOUR" debacle where some photog in the Deep South was using a public playground for a photo-shoot, using under-18 people in diapers, playing. And it appears hellish to get out of, after looking at cases such as these. One can be fully-acquitted of the matter but it'll remain on-record forever. Not a fun prospect to consider, I imagine.

The 18+ disclaimer is a good CYA move, which I support fully.
 

Janvier

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Second the 18+ being a great move. We don’t want kids and adults mingling in comment sections and stuff like that. Even if it is innocent it can be taken the wrong way, misconstrued etc.

They also say in the video that ABDL is an 18+ community, so it only makes sense that the comment section is 18+ on the video.

Sure there are aspects of this that aren’t sexual, but you can’t separate the two pragmatically. I guess you can compare it to BDSM stuff, it technically doesn’t have to be sexual either. You wouldn’t want teens at your BDSM party though.
 

CaterpillarSick

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Once people realize that terms like "paraphilia" and "fetish" are more social judgements than valid scientific distinctions they will be better able to understand the body of knowledge scientific research has been uncovering for years dealing with bonding and mate selection in humans and animals. Modern brain research and the burgeoning field of epigenetics lend support to theories that the distinction we make between normal sexual behavior and paraphilias is largely artificial, and that they are all likely to be caused by the same, observable, natural process, even if we don't fully understand the mechanics involved.
Paraphilia and fetish are the terms used in research. The thing is that we really haven’t been studying human sexual behavior for all that long. Even when we have we’ve had a tendency to view it more as a medical problem that needs to be solved rather than just a different way people behave. It doesn’t matter if the underlying mechanism is the same (which we aren’t sure off); that’s not how we define paraphilias and fetishes. It has nothing to do with social judgements.
 
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Drifter

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Paraphilia and fetish are the terms used in research. The thing is that we really haven’t been studying human sexual behavior for all that long. Even when we have we’ve had a tendency to view it more as a medical problem that needs to be solved rather than just a different way people behave. It doesn’t matter if the underlying mechanism is the same (which we aren’t sure off); that’s not how we define paraphilias and fetishes. It has nothing to do with social judgements.
The definitions I find for paraphilia and fetish all focus on the word "atypical". In other words, they are talking about sexual activity outside the social norm. Research has already given us a solid, rational explanation for why these phenomena occur, but you're right - it really doesn't matter. This kind of behavior will never be socially acceptable, at least not in our lifetime.

Still, a part of me believes society might be slightly more tolerant if more people understood what a fetish really is. With the exception of the word "atypical" there is virtually no difference in the definitions of heterosexuality and fetishism outside of social expectations. A fetish is said to be a disorder "when it causes distress or threatens to harm someone else", but the exact same thing can be said of heterosexual desires.

I'm not saying psychological problems or brain damage can't affect a person's behavior, sexual or otherwise, because obviously they do. What I am saying is that paraphilias and fetishes are no different from heterosexuality as far as being the natural outcome of evolution. The distinctions we make are purely social.
 

CaterpillarSick

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The definitions I find for paraphilia and fetish all focus on the word "atypical". In other words, they are talking about sexual activity outside the social norm.
Atypical does not necessarily convey a value judgement. I’ll be the first to agree that it’s probably not the best choice of words; I personally prefer describing it as non-standard (i.e. behavior which is not the most prevalent or the most basic; what is commonly referred to in kink communities as “vanilla sex”). This could be defined as narrowly as only encompassing kinks, or it could be defined as broadly as to include everything except penetrative sex. I won’t deny that the wording is terrible; there was ongoing debate when the DSM-V was being written about the term deviant sexual behavior. I just think that it would be silly to toss out the terms paraphilia and fetish. They provide a name for a specific group of behaviors.
Research has already given us a solid, rational explanation for why these phenomena occur
It really hasn’t. We know some patterns that are common in people with kinks, but we don’t know how that forms. Not knowing how it forms is a big problem with saying we understand something. It severely hampers our ability to determine if someone’s kinks are just a healthy for of expression, or if they are due to psychological damage that needs to be addressed.
Still, a part of me believes society might be slightly more tolerant if more people understood what a fetish really is.
I couldn’t agree more. Many people think that all kink is due to psychological damage. Research has hinted that this might not always be true, but the myth still lives on. A clear example of this is the backlash from the BDSM community to 50 shades.
What I am saying is that paraphilias and fetishes are no different from heterosexuality as far as being the natural outcome of evolution.
This is where you lose me. I think you’re over generalizing. There is adequate reason to believe that’s true for some, but we can’t prove it for all. I’m not saying that we need to treat all paraphilias and fetishes like a mental disorder (unless it actually is impairing the individuals ability to live a normal life). That would be an over generalization in the opposite direction. I’m arguing that we need to be willing to acknowledge that there’s a lot we don’t know, and that some kinks might be a sign of damage while others aren’t. This plays into trying to determine what is a healthy kink lifestyle. We need to know where the boundaries of that distinction lie.
 

Janvier

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What I am saying is that paraphilias and fetishes are no different from heterosexuality as far as being the natural outcome of evolution. The distinctions we make are purely social.
They are different. Reproduction is the only way to continue the species and allow for evolution. You only get this through heterosexuality and we have obviously been having reproductive heterosexual sex all the way back up the chain of ancestors to the beginning of life on earth. Now there may be some advantages to fetishes and homosexuality for social reasons / bonding / survival or to facilitate heterosexual reproductive sex in other ways. Or it may just be a mutation or behavioral pathology that is an evolutionary dead end or at best a wash. Hard to say from out current perspective and it is definitely not my field of study.

Basically, heterosexual sex is essential for the continuation of the species. Kinks, fetishes, and homosexual sex are a secondary thing that may or may not have benefits for the survival of the species.
 

Drifter

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We use the term "heterosexuality" in two fundamentally different ways. From the standpoint of reproduction all humans, including homosexuals and asexuals, are heterosexual. Without some kind of artificial intervention, like cloning, the only way we can reproduce is heterosexually by combining a sperm cell with an egg.

But if someone asks you if you are heterosexual we know they are not asking how you reproduce but what your sexual preferences are, which is how the word is commonly understood in social discussions. The discussion we are having here is not about reproduction, it's about sexual preferences. Where we run into problems is when we try to conflate the different meanings of "heterosexual". This is where the idea comes from that heterosexual desires are the only sexual desires that can have a natural origin. But, if that's the case, all other sexual desires would be unnatural, and there is no getting around the fact that "unnatural" human desires will always have a strong, negative connotation. Given the evolutionary dogma we've been fed for the last 100 years it's understandable that many people would feel that way about any sexual behavior that didn't specifically involve a person of the opposite sex.

As for evolution, scientists at first rejected Darwin's theory of evolution but quickly changed and embraced it because the mechanism of "natural selection" was too beautiful of a theory to ignore. Unfortunately they embraced the theory a little too hard and dismissed Darwin's warning that evolution wasn't the only natural factor affecting human traits and behaviors. The discovery of the DNA molecule and the resulting research in genetics seemed to confirm scientist's belief that evolution through natural selection was the single most important factor in determining human characteristics, but modern research has been questioning that notion. It's clear now there are other natural processes at work that have a major influence on human desires and behaviors.
 
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RileyKilo

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Great videos and it is nice to see you here. I am thrown off as to why you are so strict on your content being 18+ and asking people under 18 to leave and go figure it out for themselves.
Because I'm over 18 and so is the online community, and I find it important to point out that we aren't and shouldn't be interacting with underage people. For the dual purpose of letting vanilla people know that we aren't in this to interact with kids, and to make sure ABDLs know that if you are an over 18 ageplayer, don't interact with under 18s. I imagine my "stop watching this" will deter underage people to stop as much as age verification on porn sites do, but I want to set the standard that it's not ok to direct media towards or invite underage people to participate. I'm American and we don't mess around with 18 being the hard limit. I'm losing a ton of views and am unable to monetize because of this restriction, it's more important to me to do things right.

I'm not sure about cause either as so many of us have different stories.
^^ this right here. I can't speak to why I like this, I can speak to why I continue to do it, but I try to leave the origin speculation out of the larger conversation because it's so universal. I think the most important lines in this case are "Normal Childhoods are common in AB/DL" which helps avoid the relation to trauma and "I developed this independently without any outside influence" meaning it happened naturally, as it does to many people, often alongside more "normative" interests. I also try to point out that we're all a bunch of responsible adults doing responsible adult stuff, regardless of diapers/how we regress.

Thanks for checking out the videos! More stuff soon, including a much needed "Why AB/DL is an outdated term" video.
 

CaterpillarSick

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Because I'm over 18 and so is the online community, and I find it important to point out that we aren't and shouldn't be interacting with underage people. For the dual purpose of letting vanilla people know that we aren't in this to interact with kids, and to make sure ABDLs know that if you are an over 18 ageplayer, don't interact with under 18s. I imagine my "stop watching this" will deter underage people to stop as much as age verification on porn sites do, but I want to set the standard that it's not ok to direct media towards or invite underage people to participate. I'm American and we don't mess around with 18 being the hard limit. I'm losing a ton of views and am unable to monetize because of this restriction, it's more important to me to do things right.
So I agree with the sentiment, but I’ll counter with the argument that fetishes are also a part of human sexuality that can really complicate someone’s life. I think there are ways to talk about this kind of thing with a target audience of teenagers, and I believe they could benefit from knowing that fetishes are rather common. I’m not saying that you need to go into any detail of any fetish in particular; an overview of what fetishes are and how they can be both normal and healthy is probably more than enough.

Ultimately talking about anything that is even tangentially related to sex with a teenage audience is a mess. I understand your reasons for avoiding it, but I also think that it could be beneficial for others as well.

I can't speak to why I like this, I can speak to why I continue to do it, but I try to leave the origin speculation out of the larger conversation because it's so universal. I think the most important lines in this case are "Normal Childhoods are common in AB/DL" which helps avoid the relation to trauma and "I developed this independently without any outside influence" meaning it happened naturally, as it does to many people, often alongside more "normative" interests. I also try to point out that we're all a bunch of responsible adults doing responsible adult stuff, regardless of diapers/how we regress.
Welcome to the part that I spend the most time looking and reading through. I will agree that speculating on causes in a primer for the general public is always a mistake. Academics know that speculation should never be used as fact, and are typically good about checking their preconceived notions. The general public isn’t as good about those kinds of things. It’s already confusing enough to try and explain the difference between the various sides of ABDL. Trying to then go into possible mechanisms that haven’t been incredibly well studied would just make the whole concept harder to understand. Leaving it as a “we really don’t know what causes it” may seem like a cop out, but is really an accurate portrayal of the current state of research.
 
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bounduptoplease

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First Riley I too have followed many of your videos and seen plenty of your pictures, and these are an excellent standard, I thank you for taking the time to make them.

To the content, whilst I agree that there should be an age 'cut off' I think saying you should go away may well be the American way of protecting yourself against litigation? Perhaps softening the approach and simply saying the video is aimed at 18 and over would be sufficient? TBH I think if there is someone of any age under 18 that has started to shall we say found an interest in the ABDL way of life they would most certainly look at the video regardless of the warning.

Re 'the cause', for me I do at least know why I find comfort in nappies and plastic pants and understand that many do not. For me it was a bad experience as a toddler that incidentally I do not have any memory, it was explained to me by my mother. I am sure there is something that has happened during childhood of the majority of the ABDL community which triggered the 'need' if you like to either wear nappies and or regress to a child.
 
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