Coming to an Impasse

Leio

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#1
For a while now,

I've been able to keep my IC controlled. I figured out why my pull ups were leaking (due to my own mistakes) and they were fine for a long while.

Now... I'm getting to the point where I have to change my pull up something like 7 times... maybe even more during the day. At this point, I estimate that I have only about 15% of my bladder control left. More often than not, I end up using my pull up instead of making it to the bathroom.

I am now at the point where I have to seriously consider wearing tape on diapers 24/7. I am quite anxious about this decision... one of my fears is how I'll hide a thicker diaper under my clothes... even though I know that there are wardrobe changes I can make. More than anything... I'm scared of losing what continence I have left.
 

KimbaWolfNagihiko

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#2
Wearing/hiding thicker diapers is sort of a mind over matter thing. Most people out on the street will not be staring at your butt long enough to make out a diaper. A roomy pair of jeans or similarly heavy pants, plus maybe a pair of undies to control crinkling and sagging, is all you really need.
 

GeraldRoss

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#3
Dunno if what I say may count (me being absolutely healthy myself), but you know what? There is something some Chinese (I think) wise man said: "If you can change something — stop worrying, change it. If there is nothing you can change, there is no point in worrying."
From what I've seen in your posts, your condition has been gradually deteriorating over several months. I don't know if anything can be done, but the way things are going now, there seems to be no stopping the process. So I say, quit worrying and start thinking about what you can do to make yourself comfortable in the existing situation. Or, better yet, try to get comfortable right away.
 
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#4
When I had my first accident 3 years ago I first wore adult pullups, but as my incontinence worsened I had to choose adult Diapers/CondomCatheters. one of the most important things when it comes to incontinence, don't be afraid, Embrace it. There are plenty of adult Diapers that are not bulky, are inexpensive, and are functional. I suggest you try some samples from https://www.hdis.com/brief-variety-pack, this is where I got started. once you fined your preferred diaper that works for you, buy in bulk you will save money. Another good site Is https://www.healthproductsforyou.com/. I work 2 jobs and no body has noticed my condition or the fact that I ware diapers/CondomCatheters, I dont even notice some times. Good luck, here to encourage you hope your able to get through your situation.
 

Dinotopian2002

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#5
Hi Leio

I’m so sorry your control is deteriorating so quickly. This is hard for anyone to deal with but at your age it seems particularly unfair.

Firstly, as a young adult who wears taped diapers 24/7 for stretches of time, I can sympathise. However, when incontinence is this severe, the most important thing is that you’re comfortable and protected. As an example last year, I was traveling for most of last December and I wore nothing thinner than Tena Slip Ultima. I felt a little subconscious at times but the most important thing is they kept me dry and I didn’t leak.

Secondly, I strongly suggest you go back to your doctor and ask to see a urologist. It’s not normal for someone your age to be having such heavy leakage and it’s worth checking out, just in case it’s a symptom of a more serious health issue. I also think that you could benefit from some counselling, as incontinence can really mess with your mental health. We’re happy to help you, but I really think you need to see a professional who can help you come to terms with this.

Thirdly, I understand you’re concerned about hiding thicker diapers. The easiest way is to wear loose-fitting clothes or those which have a roomier seat in the garment. If you’re worried about the waistband showing, onesies can help. There are many plain designs out there which look like a t-shirt or a vest to the untrained eye.

Finally, this may sound crazy, but wearing thicker diapers has actually improved my self-esteem, rather than worsened it. I spent five days at my best friend’s house last March with no diapers apart from a pack of Rearz Rebels. However, because they were so thick, I didn’t have to change as often. We went out a couple of times and you could see the waistband, but at the same time I wasn’t afraid of accidents or leaks, which was a big weight off my shoulders. My friend knows more about my bladder struggles than anyone else, and he was surprised at how outgoing and confident I was in these diapers.
After that week, I wasn’t afraid to wear thicker diapers anymore.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
 

Missy1

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#6
For a while now,

I've been able to keep my IC controlled. I figured out why my pull ups were leaking (due to my own mistakes) and they were fine for a long while.

Now... I'm getting to the point where I have to change my pull up something like 7 times... maybe even more during the day. At this point, I estimate that I have only about 15% of my bladder control left. More often than not, I end up using my pull up instead of making it to the bathroom.

I am now at the point where I have to seriously consider wearing tape on diapers 24/7. I am quite anxious about this decision... one of my fears is how I'll hide a thicker diaper under my clothes... even though I know that there are wardrobe changes I can make. More than anything... I'm scared of losing what continence I have left.
First WELL spoken dianotopian (standing up and applaud ) i couldn't said it better even if i try . and i agree 101 % with youre statement

It sadly sounds like youre on the same road as i was say 6 month ago Leio :frown: First you should contact the docs again to check what they have to say about this and IF something might be wrong so things progress this fast and this way.

Reg the diapers 24/7 id say you`d be surprised how many that DONT gonna notice that youre wearing dear so i would try not to worry so much dear. And i agree time to move up to HA diapers dear and based on youe previous description i would ad some PVC or PUL pants as well JUST to be safe (over said diaper THEN you put the ord panties over that You can easily hide the diapers with ord panties (obviously not tanga but more shall we say covering cind )

I can defenetly understand youe worried about getting total Leio dear its not fun, But as long as youre properly protected it dont need to be that big of a change dear . :hug: and as i also said earlier the fact you seems to have to wear 24 /7 does NOT make you ANY LESS feminine, Loved or looked down on dear. its NOT youre fault that this happens dear and its MEDICALLY so you should try to NOT view it as failure or anything else Leio Both you and me and MANY others with our diagnose had the ods stack against us in this become IC Leio .Is this fare ? Heck no but sadly lifes isent fare im afraid al we can do is to try to find a way to ACCEPT ,ADAPT ,And MOVE on AS BEST WE CAN with the cards weve been dealt Leio dear
 

Slomo

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#7
Why are you so worried about loosing 15% of your continence, especially when you've already lost 85%? Yeah it sucks you're mostly all incontinent already, but you are mostly already incontinent as it is. There isn't anything you can do about that now, except accept it.

And having to change 7+ times a day is excessive, and likely more expensive too. You also say you're worried about being found out you're diapred too. Well I can guarantee a pullup that has leaked is way more noticable than a thick diaper that has done its job. So by switching to tape diapers they will be less noticable. Worries solved.
 

eastcoastdl

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#8
For me, it was just like the stages of grief when I lost my continence. I went through all the steps: Denial - "I don't need diapers" leading to wet pants or leaky pullups, Anger - "I hate having to wear diapers!" and going through hell with doctors trying to find a way around, Depression (obvious, no need for examples), and Acceptance - I've even come to enjoy it at points, despite it being inconvenient and still slightly embarrassing from time to time. You just need to give yourself time.
 

mkinko

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#9
Leio, I can understand you, so here's what I do

- Pull-ups are not sustainable if you have to change several times per day (and wear trousers and not skirts...); I tried it during the first few months after starting to be incontinent but had to give up. However, as incontinence2017 wrote there are plenty of thinner diapers which help you to make it through the day without having to change multiple times (provided your urine production is within a normal range). And some of them can be even pulled up and down so that you can use the toilet. I'm sure you'll find the best solution for you.
- Nevertheless I still wear pull-ups for example when doing sports... or on weekends when I'am at home and just don't feel like to be fully diapered.
- I try to go to the bathroom about three times a day and have at least a some continence experience. Being able to urinate into the water closet once in a while is a nice feeling. I stopped putting pressure on me that I succeed though but take it more as a nice surprise.
 

Padded53

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#10
Although I agree with the others here that tape-up diapers are your best solution the only other idea might be to add a heavy pad or a baby diaper into your pull-up. Although you might still need to change the pad/baby diaper 6 or 7 times a day you might only need to change the pull-up once or twice a day. This approach would certainly be less expensive than 6 or 7 pull-ups but probably still more expensive than a couple of top quality diapers. The two significant benefits would be the ease/speed of changing just the pad/baby diaper and maintaining the discretion (mostly) of just a pull-up.
 

Rob110

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#11
Hi Leio

Sorry to hear your incontinence issue is getting worse and you have to make the move to premium tapped diapers, we can all understand your anxiety about wearing tapped diapers as most of us went through the same feelings when we had to start wearing 24/7. Most people will never notice you are wearing a diaper just remember not to wear tight fitting pants I wear one size up and dark coloured pants to help hide the fact I am in a diaper. Even a thicker premium diaper like Betterdry or Confidry 24/7 is not noticeable and will get you though the day with only one or two changes.

we all start out with thin discreet diapers but quickly learn that thicker premium diapers are the best to wear since you can trust them to do thier job and really do not leak thst offten where thinner diapers are prone to leak due to lower capacity and aborbancy. I have had to deal with more leaks then I can remmeber when I was wearing thinner diapers in the beginning but now I will only wear a diaper I can trust (Betterdry) or Crinkz if the plain white version (Betterdry) is out of stock.

Hope you find a diaper that works for you and you can stop stressing about your incontinence issue, Being in diapers is no fun but you do get use to them and your life really does not change that much.
 

redhawkpath

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#12
Hi .

I had the same issues as you when i became ic. Lets face it the process of acceptance can be long.

Now im a man. I have some options that maybe a woman may not. But skinny jeans are out of the question. Lol. For work i wear pants that are more generous in the crotch area. Trust me no one is looking. Sweats, looser jeans all work out. And trust me i wear supremes all the time that are bulky. Never a problem.

Only issue i have ever had is motorcycle gear. My stuff is form fitting . For instance on longer trips i have a one piece leather motorcycle suit. It is snug. I guess i could change to a cordura suit.but i already dropped good money on this protective suit. Can you tell im wearing a diaper. No. But the crotch is not generous and you are reminded of the presence of a diaper if you stand up. That is something im sure you domt have to worry about.
 

Spaz

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#13
First, you and your doctor should rule out any potentially serious diseases that could be causing this. Second, you are stuck in the same place as many of us with varying degrees of urge incontinence. I have suffered from worsening bladder and bowel ic for my entire life. It sucks. The way you manage this is up to you, but diapers have some very distinct advantages. Despite what you may have read on this site or elsewhere, diapers will not make you more incontinent. This conclusion is supported by my own experience, discussions with several urologists and a review of published literature. Diapers will, however, avoid the many potentially serious side effects of medications and surgical procedures. You list yourself as a little, which means you have a distinct advantage over the many millions of people who are in the same boat. Diapers are by and large the clothing of littles. In other words, using diapers should be easier to accept for you than say someone who only sees themselves as an adult and never as a baby, toddler or young child.

The best advice I can give you is take it one day at a time, while having a wide array of products on hand from which to choose from, from pull-ups (with leak guards) to premium tape diapers and even cloth diapers with waterproof covers. Eventually, you'll find clothes that make your diapers all but vanish, brands that work well for you and times when you know you can get away with a pull-up or lessor protection. I would also caution you on making sure you stay hydrated. I know from personal experience that I can control my urge incontinence better if I'm dehydrated because my bladder fills more slowly. Try to avoid this. Being dehydrated is not good for your body and your urine will be more odorous and caustic. Best of luck and let us know how you are doing.
 

Bobsled

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#14
I suggest you try some samples from https://www.hdis.com/brief-variety-pack, this is where I got started. once you fined your preferred diaper that works for you, buy in bulk you will save money. Another good site Is https://www.healthproductsforyou.com/.
The number of diaper products is overwhelming. The idea of having to buy a package of each one to try could get expensive . But in many cases, you can get samples -- free, or not too expensive-- , so you don't commit to entire package of something you don't like.

Tranquility will give you free samples of two products. But you can buy individual samples after that https://tranquilityproducts.com/shop/

You can buy individual samples of several brands from CWI Medical https://www.cwimedical.com/ and ParentGiving.com https://www.parentgiving.com/


Northshore will provide samples on request https://www.northshorecare.com/

Tye Medical also provides free samples (I think you just pay shipping) https://www.tyemedical.com/
 

Babyboypirate

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#15
I wear tape-on diapers and all the people that know only do because I told them or someone that I told told them. If people really pay attention to me at the gym they probably can tell but I am not really going out of my way to hide it ever. It's my business. Pretty much everyone either doesn't care or is more embarrassed than me for intruding on my privacy. The only people that really might care are potential boy friends but so far they have been fairly accepting. I might just be lucky but I haven't really had much of a reason to actively hide my diapers since finished high school.
 

HeronimusM

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#16
Hi Leilo,
sorry to hear things are getting a nightmare for you,

i would suggest to try for a week the tabbed diapers,
get the biggest absorption diapers you can get, and just try it out,

if you want to chat feel free and send me a PM

good luck, and take care !
 
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