Getting off my chest

#1
Hi,
I'm not sure you will understand me, but I certainly hope. Feel free to comment. I really need to talk about it.
I live my life as a straight man, but I'm bisexual
To be precise, it's like there is a man and a women inside me and both are straight.

My first sexual experience was with a man at the age of 24. Between the age of 24 to 27, I had only sexual experiences with men. Always as a bottom and always asking men not to touch my penis, just my ass : to be with a man as if I were a woman.
But they often touched my penis and it was displeasing. I always felt my man's body was in the way of really enjoying the moment.

Then I had a relationship with a women for 3 years. Relationships with men... Now I'm married with a woman.
I'm living my life as a man. Half of me is satisfied. The other half, well not so much.

I have a dum and silly wish. It would be great that when I'll be old, I could change my man's body for the body of a young women. So I could live another life in a women's body and have relationships with men as a women : with a real vagina, breasts and everything.
 

LilbabCor

Est. Contributor
#3
I feel the same way with wanting my next life to be a woman.

During majority of my day I am a man through and through, love my beard, gaze at women etc.
I am confident to say I am straight and I have tried to think of being in a relationship with another man but it turns me off completely.

However at night it turns around and I want to be a woman. Wanting to be held and love a man seems natural. By morning I still long for that comfort and broad chest to lie my head on. Once I get out of bed those feelings disappear and I am back to being a man who wants coffee and a woman to give a morning kiss to.

I love to think that perhaps my previous life I was a woman who wanted to be a man in love with a woman and got that wish!
 

Hastra

Contributor
#5
Hi, I think I can chip in here. My advice would be to try to let you be yourself.

Many people still have limited views on what a 'man' can be. There is this picture, that 'if someone identifies as a man and is attracted the other men, that they must actually be a women, because only women like men' - is the thought.

Basically, they simply cannot imagine someone of their sex being attracted to the same sex, and thus believe that same-sex attraction means the person must be a different gender. They would insist that a man who likes men isn't a 'real' man, and must be a woman on the inside, as if attraction = gender, which we know it doesn't. People of the female sex also deal with these trying paradigms.

Some people do have dysphoria, and pursing that matter can be helpful to them. But I would encourage you to be gentle with yourself and not force yourself to be something you aren't. Best wishes.
 

abdlexplorer

Est. Contributor
#6
Hi,
I'm not sure you will understand me, but I certainly hope. Feel free to comment. I really need to talk about it.
I live my life as a straight man, but I'm bisexual
To be precise, it's like there is a man and a women inside me and both are straight.

My first sexual experience was with a man at the age of 24. Between the age of 24 to 27, I had only sexual experiences with men. Always as a bottom and always asking men not to touch my penis, just my ass : to be with a man as if I were a woman.
But they often touched my penis and it was displeasing. I always felt my man's body was in the way of really enjoying the moment.

Then I had a relationship with a women for 3 years. Relationships with men... Now I'm married with a woman.
I'm living my life as a man. Half of me is satisfied. The other half, well not so much.

I have a dum and silly wish. It would be great that when I'll be old, I could change my man's body for the body of a young women. So I could live another life in a women's body and have relationships with men as a women : with a real vagina, breasts and everything.
I feel I may have some relevancy here. I'm a gay male who within the last year came out of a 10 year marriage that ended when I came out. My reasons for it taking so long aren't actually relevant here, what is relevant is the ultimate decision to be true to myself, and not let myself by bothered by what others may think about it. I very much understand the thought of wanting to completely be physically a woman sometimes, as well as the thought of enjoying my physically male body; they can at times be very difficult desires to reconcile. It has taken a very long time to come to terms with it, but at this point, I accept that I am who I am, and try to live my life for myself.

I almost exclusively bottom, and very much understand your desire to be treated as a woman in those times; though for me it is not an every-time desire, sometimes I want to be treated like the bottoming male that I am. These are both sides of me that I live with, and while I used to spurn both of them, I now accept and love being who I am. It has been an incredibly difficult journey, without a doubt.

If you don't mind my asking jmec, does your wife know all of this?
 
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