Finally Saw a Doctor.

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lilkess

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#1
Reference post for understanding here.

This morning I had a total melt-down. I woke to fresh warmth in my diaper. Ok, I thought, no problem, and turned to wake my husband, as I do every morning. Already nervous about the doctor's appointment today, I fumbled with everything as I tried to prepare to change myself. It was when I dropped the powder and caused a powder bomb that I started to cry and my sweet husband calmly took over. He spoke softly to me, laid me back against the bed pad and rubbed my belly (which I love) and soon the morning returned to a state of peace. (Seriously, he's an understanding, amazing man.) However, as soon as he opened the diaper, he quickly covered me up with it again and I knew I was urinating...the tears, as you can imagine, started again. My husband stayed calm, waited for my body to stop voiding and quickly put a new diaper on me. Afterwards, he quickly wrapped me up with hugs and love, but it didn't do much to quell the knowledge that I've possibly fucked myself. :(

[ FAST-FORWARD TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE ]

My husband and I finally fell into chuckles on the walk inside as I tried to convince him that we should just go home, since I was dry as a bone. So we signed in and sat down, talked about this and that, and when they called my name and I stood up - gravity helped my body betray me. My husband knew as soon as he saw my shoulders slump and quickly took a moment to rub my back, pull me in close and kiss my head.

I won't bore you with the normal triage or wait and we will just skip on over to the exam.

The doctor asked many questions and I was painfully truthful. I told him I started wearing 24/7 about 2 years ago, but had never lost control - I could hold if I needed to, until recently when I started waking up wet now and then and also the recent points of uncontrolled urination during changes and possibly other times. By the end of my confessions I was in tears...again.

The doctor made some points about underlying issues that might be happening and was unsure whether my wearing actually caused my sudden uncontrolled wetting. However, he referred me to a urogynecologist stating that he would much rather have an expert in the field do the testing.

My appointment with the urogynecologist is on Monday. I will try to breathe and update as I can.

Thank you, for reading.
 

Brsilva

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#2
Wow, I'm learning allot on this site. I hope all will be well. I am having urge issues. It started about 8 years ago but I chalked it up to holding it too long. It only happened when I would go into a cold humid area like our cooler at the time. Any way fast forward several jobs later now going into coolers constantly and my issues are worse and we're trying to figure it out now. Hoping for the best, Wish you the best.
 

Rob110

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#3
Glad to hear you were able to get an appointment with an urologist so quickly getting checked out by a specialist takes a lot of the worry away when you find out whats wrong. Hopefully the urologist can come up with a plan to help get you out of diapers but in the event that you now have a medical issue that requires you to be diapered 24/7 its not the end of the world. I have been back in diapers 24/7 for 3 years due to an OAB and uncontrollable accidents and have accepted I have no choice but to wear.

Remember you are not alone in having to deal with bladder issues there are millions of us here in north america alone that requires protection 24/7 and incontinence can strike at any time and at any age.

Good luck with your appontment and do not stress about wether or nit you wearing diapers may have caused the issue as it probably would have happened even if you had never worn a diaper as an adult.

If they recommend meds do a lot of research to decide if you want to go that route as most meds simply reduce the number of accidents but do not totaly stop them so you may only have a 40 to 60 % improvment and may have to deal with side effects.

I choose diapers to manage my medical issue and have not regretted the desision and my wife was adiment I did nit take meds due to the possible side effects
 

lilkess

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#4
I have to admit, I'm getting scared about my doctor's appointment now. My husband and I have determined that by the time I feel the urge to pee, it's too late, because as soon as I stand up, it comes out - and those are on the times I actually feel the urge.

I'm still having complete wettings where my bladder just lets go & sometimes leaking and/or bladder release during changes as well.

Husband told me over and over we will be married until he's in diapers too -- so, I have that, but I'm still scared.
 

Slomo

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#5
Why are you scared of going to your doctors? It's not like they are going to make your incontinence any worse. If anything they might be able to make it better.
 

lilkess

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#6
So...the news is a little bit worse than just peeing on myself...seems I'm in the throes of early menopause. There are a couple more test the doctor wants, but she's nearly certain that's the cause of my sudden down-hill slid of urine control.

My husband and I are childless but very badly wanted children...the car ride home was sullen and both of us cried for the better part of the afternoon.
 

Fascinating

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So sorry! *hugs* Maybe that is what I've been going through. Never thought menopause would do that. My cycles are shorter than they used to be when I was younger.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk
 

lilkess

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So sorry! *hugs* Maybe that is what I've been going through. Never thought menopause would do that. My cycles are shorter than they used to be when I was younger.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk
Apparently, the doc says my dropping estrogen levels are causing havoc to my bladder.
 

TheWolfEmperor

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#9
Why are you scared of going to your doctors? It's not like they are going to make your incontinence any worse. If anything they might be able to make it better.
I understand it myself. Going to the doctor can be a bit of a crapshoot. You're half afraid they'll find nothing or that they'll dismiss you because they'd rather play psychologist and try to blame your problem on your psyche. On the other hand there's a very good possibility they'll find something but will it be worse then you can imagine or will it not be so bad after all?

If you're already prone to anxiety, this just adds to that.
 

lilkess

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I understand it myself. Going to the doctor can be a bit of a crapshoot. You're half afraid they'll find nothing or that they'll dismiss you because they'd rather play psychologist and try to blame your problem on your psyche. On the other hand there's a very good possibility they'll find something but will it be worse then you can imagine or will it not be so bad after all?

If you're already prone to anxiety, this just adds to that.
Thank you, for understanding. I am happy to know it's my estrogen levels and not my diaper wearing that has weakened my bladder. Perhaps I'm just dramatic, because these are my first few days with a professional diagnosis -- kind of makes it uber real, ya know? However, now it's not even my bladder that matters anymore, but that I'm going through menopause and cannot give my husband a family, outside of our beautiful cat.
 

lilkess

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Sounds to me like you've given your husband plenty of family. If he cares for you in such a way, I very much doubt he resents you.
I'm sure I'll move on from this sadness soon enough-- he is everything to me, my husband. I'm trying to ignore the lower half of me, and focusing on the BETTER half of me.
 

Slomo

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#13
I understand it myself. Going to the doctor can be a bit of a crapshoot. You're half afraid they'll find nothing or that they'll dismiss you because they'd rather play psychologist and try to blame your problem on your psyche. On the other hand there's a very good possibility they'll find something but will it be worse then you can imagine or will it not be so bad after all?

If you're already prone to anxiety, this just adds to that.
Yeah but a doctor confirming you have something worse than you thought, or not at all, isn't going to make your problem go away. Quite the opposite really, not going to the doctor or otherwise ignoring it is a sure fire way to make it worse.

If anxiety and fear is a concern, it's simple and easy to conclude there will be more anxiety from not going.
 

TheWolfEmperor

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#14
Yeah but a doctor confirming you have something worse than you thought, or not at all, isn't going to make your problem go away. Quite the opposite really, not going to the doctor or otherwise ignoring it is a sure fire way to make it worse.

If anxiety and fear is a concern, it's simple and easy to conclude there will be more anxiety from not going.
But your question was why she should be nervous. I was giving you reasons why she is probably nervous.
 

Slomo

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But your question was why she should be nervous. I was giving you reasons why she is probably nervous.
And yet my point was that still makes no sense. Going to a doctor helps bring a better understanding or otherwise dispell unfounded fears- which in itself is calming not nerve wracking.

So then why is the OP nervous to go to the doctor???
 

lilkess

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Yeah but a doctor confirming you have something worse than you thought, or not at all, isn't going to make your problem go away. Quite the opposite really, not going to the doctor or otherwise ignoring it is a sure fire way to make it worse.

If anxiety and fear is a concern, it's simple and easy to conclude there will be more anxiety from not going.
And yet my point was that still makes no sense. Going to a doctor helps bring a better understanding or otherwise dispell unfounded fears- which in itself is calming not nerve wracking.

So then why is the OP nervous to go to the doctor???
Things which make sense to you might not be so clear and logical to others.

However, I panic when it comes to medical situations-- it doesn't mean it's a logical movement or that it helps me in any way. I'm quite clear on just how unhelpful panicking is, but you don't always get a choice. And, before you then respond with "yes you can," I will refer you to my first sentence.

It's not always calming to find out what is wrong with you -- it should be, but if I learned I had cancer, I can guarantee you I wouldn't feel any peace just because I now know.

No, my feelings aren't on the scale of rational, but sometimes you can't always just stop the panic. However, I DO, in a perfect me that doesn't exist (LOL), understand what you were trying to say...so, thank you. ^_^
 

Missy1

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#18
Lilkess i for one do understand youre decition as well as the panic part 100 & and recpect youre decitions likewies , Sorry about youre problems tho :sad:.

And also the BETTER half you is YOU not specifik parts of you dear, And theres always adoptions if you and youre husband whants to start a family dear (ether way you should NOT feel that you somehow let down youre husband due to this problem LilKess,sadly this things do happen and NOONE is to blame

Also the accepting part is in my opinion the first and worst step to take on in this problems. For some it comes fast and some needs some too process al this in ones head. Im shore that when you feel its time you will able to accept as well and continue youre life :smile1:

There can be a variation of reasons that people are scared to go to the medical aid or otherwise chose NOT to take that step and we al must try to accept those that have takend sed decition not to yet go and see the docs :cool:
 
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