How to help a sad mommy

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Tommygun619

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So I have recently found a mommy and after talking for a little while she decided to give me a bedtime. However it can't work for my schedule, she gave me a bedtime of midnight and some nights I am still at work that late. I can't go home and go straight to bed and I am a night owl so I stay up until 5-6 am. I understand that she was just trying to help and she feels like I am not willing to cooperate with her and don't want her to take care of me. I really enjoy talking to her and want her as my mommy but her bedtime is unrealistic for me. We talked for a little while about it but she feels like she is useless and unappreciated when all she was trying to do was help. Does anyone have any advice on how to cheer her up or maybe some other rules that could be used instead of a bedtime? I am willing to follow rules my mommy sets but this was her first one so I think that's what made her so sad. Any advice would help out a lot.
 
if it is her first, you should put forward more of an effort to help make it special for her. I understand you feel its unrealistic to go to bed immediately after you get home from work, its not the habit you have. however your mommy is trying to help you gain new habits. you need to respect the role you asked her to perform and give things a go her way.


My advice is try things her way, you may need to change your wind down/play time to first thing after you get up in the mornings.



Otherwise I dont think your going to be able to make it work with this person, I'm guessing its a long distance relationship, in which case give and take, in this case trying things her way for a week, before coming back with some suggestions or changes would be a good idea.
 
Does it have to be live and in person? maybe she can record it for you so you can play it when it feels right. Bedtime doesn't have to be interactive really.
 
Ok talking it out mabey on the nites you work that can be the exception to the rule.
If your working then let mommy know you have to.
If you want a mommy then its her job to be in charge mommys take care of there babys thats what they do.
So few find mommys.
If you work late then those day's you need to explain to mommy why.
The days you do not you must have your bed time.
You see your mommy get good feelings by taking care of you.
Its her maternal instincts thats gets filling by being mommy .
As much as you like baby stuff she likes being mommy in charge.
I do not know your age your littles is but you need to make a pitcher or art .
For mommy that shows you love her like littles do for mommies thats all little kids can do.
Or some gift that a little kid would give sweet smelling bath beeds stuff like that.
Help her feel being a mommy .
Good luck.
 
I am a night owl and every time I try to go to bed that early I wake up multiple times during the night and feel tired all day after. I get that she is only trying to help but I just can't do it. A d yes we are long distance at the moment
 
Tommygun619 said:
So I have recently found a mommy and after talking for a little while she decided to give me a bedtime. However it can't work for my schedule, she gave me a bedtime of midnight and some nights I am still at work that late. I can't go home and go straight to bed and I am a night owl so I stay up until 5-6 am. I understand that she was just trying to help and she feels like I am not willing to cooperate with her and don't want her to take care of me. I really enjoy talking to her and want her as my mommy but her bedtime is unrealistic for me. We talked for a little while about it but she feels like she is useless and unappreciated when all she was trying to do was help. Does anyone have any advice on how to cheer her up or maybe some other rules that could be used instead of a bedtime? I am willing to follow rules my mommy sets but this was her first one so I think that's what made her so sad. Any advice would help out a lot.


Hi Tommygun619
Like others have sad you just need to talk it out with her.
I know having structure in our live make us feel safe and keeping us safe and health is part of a caregiver role
But the rules that a caregiver comes up with need to be talked through with their Little one so that they are realistic and achievable.
I suggest that you might like to have a reward chart this way you can talk through tasks that are achievable and it will give you both a goal to work towards.
Just a thought
I had an on line Daddy for a while we just chat about things.
And My Paddy
Anyway it is coming up to my bed time know
All the best
Siysiy


 
I think you should do a couple things. Since her first try at a rule didn't work out and it's really not something you can do, make sure to talk about it with her clearly and explain the issue. If you don't already have one, you might consider something like a safe word as well so that you have a way of making it clear to her when you really can't do something as opposed to when you're being a resistant little and are okay with her pressing you a bit.

The other thing, though, is that you should try to do something for her to make up for it. Consider drawing her a picture, writing her a little story, or singing her a song. Something like that. And then when she's feeling better, help her come up with some new rules and be ready to suggest things where you'd like her to play a more active mommy role.
 
Most people don't understand when you have a job that requires working the 3-11 shift or something similar. You are right that it does not make sense to go straight to bed at the end of the work day. If she could take the attitude of shifting the clock by 5 hours, midnight would look like 7pm. No different than living a few thousand miles west. If you are operating long distance, this should be feasible.
 
Don't forget the reverse can also be true. I used to be in the military, and my wife contracts for them now too. Their (and hers) hours are closer to 4am till noon.
 
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