I don't want to go!

Cook · Mar 1, 2015

So to my disbelief, late last year I hit 1,000,000 subscribers on my YouTube channel! YouTube is a huge part of my life now (more than being an AB) as it is my full time job. I've always been very discreet with this side of my life as to not expose myself. It has never really been an issue as I just practice this at home alone. Now things are starting to change, in the space of a month I had 3 different news reporters come into my home to interview me. I was scared the whole time thinking I've left something out and they're going to find it. I'm getting more and more attention suddenly and I'm terrified of being exposed! Do you think it'd be irrational to give this up completely? I have huge mixed emotions about everything. I'm planning on going traveling for 6 months through the US, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Cuba, Italy and potentially more, so I won't be involved in anyway with my AB side. Do you think I should just try and forget about it in the hope I'll never be exposed or carry on in secrecy? Thanks a lot for your input

ArchieRoni · Mar 1, 2015

You know, I'd say it depends (pun unintended but greatfully accepted). If you think you'll be fine without your ABDL stuff and you really feel it's a liability, you could get rid of some of it or even all of it.

If it's important to you, though, I'd just up your level of discretion. If you've got diapers, unpack them from your package and put them in closed drawers, ideally locked ones. Take out your trash regularly and keep the can inside something (like under your sink behind a closed cabinet door).

Even news reporters don't go snooping for people's underwear. And if you're organized and consistent, you won't have to worry about leaving anything out.

The other thing to remember is that lots of people wet the bed (googling for it suggests various numbers and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that as many as 1 out of 20 adults wets the bed sometimes). So having diapers is mildly embarrassing but has plausible deniability. Even the baby design kind, if you say that you found them from Google and tried them because of their quality.

If you've got other ABDL stuff, impact could vary. Nobody will think twice about you owning stuffed animals. A pacifier will make them think you're into drugs, not ABDL, and kiddie clothes probably won't be noticed. I'd say if you have a bottle and paci, those would be the two things to discreetly put away in a locked drawer or box.

Edit: oh, btw you probably don't want to link your YouTube channel here, but if you PM it to me, I'm really curious and would love to see your stuff. I promise you my utmost confidence and secrecy.

Tyger · Mar 1, 2015

Dang, i'm really interested in what channel this is, but you don't need to say, that would expose your personal identity.

Famous people are always going to risk exposing something personal about themselves that the media would love to get a scoop on, I'd say that your problem isn't necessarily unique except that the thing you are hiding is. I think it is worth the risk of continuing on, because lets face it, if you can be a successful youtube poster, then you have a pretty cool job. I don't think you should give up on a dream like this just out of fear of exposure. I personally would hate being away from the comfort of my home for so long to be on all of those trips, but at the same time I would enjoy going on them if they were split up.

I'd say that unless you have a good backup plan for what you are going to do to earn money, you should put your profession first, because it is what makes your lifestyle possible. Without a job, you can't have the cash to wear diapers.

On the other hand, a profession should not have to always be interfering with a person's personal life, and if you are finding that the interference is too frequent to stand, then maybe it isn't worth it on your psychological health to keep pushing forward in this career direction. I kinda feel like this would mean that the news is coming to your house every week and the risk of exposure is inevitable. If it isn't always so frequent though, I would say it is probably controllable enough, that it wouldn't be too difficult to play it safe and make sure everything is hidden when they come over.

Also, try to think of some things that you could say if you ever did get discovered to play it down, and just stick to that. You could say it was part of a dare, or a bit of research.

- - - Updated - - -

ArchieRoni said:
The other thing to remember is that lots of people wet the bed (googling for it suggests various numbers and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that as many as 1 out of 20 adults wets the bed sometimes). So having diapers is mildly embarrassing but has plausible deniability. Even the baby design kind, if you say that you found them from Google and tried them because of their quality.

This made me think of this, which got posted not too long ago. https://www.underwareness.com/ you really can just play it down if somebody found diapers in your room. Also, people quite commonly travel with stuffed animals according to a girl I used to know that worked at an lodge.

Cook · Mar 1, 2015

You make some very good point's, I guess my personal life is just that, personal. And considering I only ever do it in the comfort of my own house I don't have to worry as much. I think at the moment everything is moving so fast (almost without me) that I'm working myself up! I've got a lot to think about.

Unfortunately I'm not going to share my channel as here is the only place I'm not associated with it and I can be myself. Thank a lot.

bringmesunshine · Mar 1, 2015

Wow! A million subscribers! Who are you?! #rhetoricalquestion (!) bms

DannyBBaby · Mar 1, 2015

I hope it goes well for you and just hang in there

Moicano · Mar 2, 2015

First of all, congratulations! A million followers is pretty darn impressive! I will freely admit I am REALLY curious about your channel, and would love to sorry it, but privacy is way more important right now!

I agree with Mr Roni in that being discreet with your stash is an excellent idea. You may also want to keep the abdl sites out of your computer, phone and Google history to in case someone gets a hold of one of them.

Once again, congratulations!

ArchieRoni · Mar 2, 2015

Cook said:
You make some very good point's, I guess my personal life is just that, personal. And considering I only ever do it in the comfort of my own house I don't have to worry as much. I think at the moment everything is moving so fast (almost without me) that I'm working myself up! I've got a lot to think about.

Unfortunately I'm not going to share my channel as here is the only place I'm not associated with it and I can be myself. Thank a lot.

Rats, I'd love to watch your stuff. I can understand and respect that decision though. Congratulations on your success and best of luck.

With regard to history, just always use private browsing and be sure to never leave anything open on your devices. Also use separate emails, though I'm reasonably sure you knew that too.

LilByte · Mar 2, 2015

As for rl as others said, having a routine to put things away. As for internet. Never use the same email, password, pictures, things you're quoted saying, or things like that. Oh and make sure never to google ab/dl things on you're other gmail accounts, as it has an account history.

Note that will only stop the every day person from finding you, there is nothing you can really do to hide you're history and current life from actual hackers.

The good news is I really don't think it would make a difference. The odds of someone leaking data is extremely rare, and if they do the odds of negative public reaction is even lower.

congrats on a million subs btw.

ApplePi · Mar 2, 2015

computerProgrammer said:
As for rl as others said, having a routine to put things away. As for internet. Never use the same email, password, pictures, things you're quoted saying, or things like that. Oh and make sure never to google ab/dl things on you're other gmail accounts, as it has an account history.

Note that will only stop the every day person from finding you, there is nothing you can really do to hide you're history and current life from actual hackers.

The good news is I really don't think it would make a difference. The odds of someone leaking data is extremely rare, and if they do the odds of negative public reaction is even lower.

congrats on a million subs btw.

Cant vpn s (no logs or mult vpn), private browsers, and third party ad blockers keep privacy from actual hackers?

LilByte · Mar 2, 2015

ApplePi said:
Cant vpn s (no logs or mult vpn), private browsers, and third party ad blockers keep privacy from actual hackers?

No, I've been tracked threw normal vpn's before. both ad-block and vpn's can help stop normal people tho.
//by normal vpn I mean a legal ones I don't do any black hat.

//note that wifi and phones can be hacked by a 9 year old on google. Most downloaded tools can crack normal routers. And user history is stored forever in allot of different places and ways. You are never alone, but the people who know how to access it have seen much worse than you. I wish there was such a thing as privacy, but there isn't.

CrazySmoker · Mar 2, 2015

Cook said:
So to my disbelief, late last year I hit 1,000,000 subscribers on my YouTube channel! YouTube is a huge part of my life now (more than being an AB) as it is my full time job. I've always been very discreet with this side of my life as to not expose myself. It has never really been an issue as I just practice this at home alone. Now things are starting to change, in the space of a month I had 3 different news reporters come into my home to interview me. I was scared the whole time thinking I've left something out and they're going to find it. I'm getting more and more attention suddenly and I'm terrified of being exposed! Do you think it'd be irrational to give this up completely? I have huge mixed emotions about everything. I'm planning on going traveling for 6 months through the US, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Cuba, Italy and potentially more, so I won't be involved in anyway with my AB side. Do you think I should just try and forget about it in the hope I'll never be exposed or carry on in secrecy? Thanks a lot for your input

Seems you're some kind of "public and known person." Me too, a few... BUT: I never do something ABDL related (and never revalated) publicaly (OK, sometimes busted...) So WTF: I'm doing in my privacy is only7 interesting for some buitres medias. I had a few interview or TV spots, but never in some kind of the "media waste."

Here in adisc I haven't register with my "public" e-mail, I'm antiFCB... Media molesters I wanna not, if I want something (or if they wanty something,) so there is the stree, some cafe etc. Nothing at my home, there's acess restricted.

And finally: I sometimes "wish" to stop "be strange," but today situation is "I can't stop, no way haw to do it, so I ENJOY." Alone, because no playmates. Nothing happens. My privacy is very safe

ajsco · Mar 2, 2015

computerProgrammer said:
No, I've been tracked threw normal vpn's before. both ad-block and vpn's can help stop normal people tho.
//by normal vpn I mean a legal ones I don't do any black hat.

//note that wifi and phones can be hacked by a 9 year old on google. Most downloaded tools can crack normal routers. And user history is stored forever in allot of different places and ways. You are never alone, but the people who know how to access it have seen much worse than you. I wish there was such a thing as privacy, but there isn't.

Yes but this is all assuming that someone has a suspicion to actually go to that effort to try and get info. First they'd have to find where you live and then camp out 25 meters from your house to monitor your web traffic and how many people would a saddo have to stalk to get anything from. In the UK hacking is made slightly more difficult as we use dynamic IPs, if you want static you have to pay for it.

The chance of it happening is so low it's not even worth worrying about!

ApplePi · Mar 2, 2015

computerProgrammer said:
No, I've been tracked threw normal vpn's before. both ad-block and vpn's can help stop normal people tho.
//by normal vpn I mean a legal ones I don't do any black hat.

//note that wifi and phones can be hacked by a 9 year old on google. Most downloaded tools can crack normal routers. And user history is stored forever in allot of different places and ways. You are never alone, but the people who know how to access it have seen much worse than you. I wish there was such a thing as privacy, but there isn't.

Of course no black hat.
They raise higher suspicion and cant trust them.

- - - Updated - - -

ajsco said:
Yes but this is all assuming that someone has a suspicion to actually go to that effort to try and get info. First they'd have to find where you live and then camp out 25 meters from your house to monitor your web traffic and how many people would a saddo have to stalk to get anything from. In the UK hacking is made slightly more difficult as we use dynamic IPs, if you want static you have to pay for it.

The chance of it happening is so low it's not even worth worrying about!

What stalk the person near the house and get the person's packets from the wifi.
Na if I was a hacker I would use a keylogger.
And get the account and let that do all the talking.
That is why anti virus are important.

But like most people saying small chance of it happening, people have better thing to do with there lives.

LilByte · Mar 2, 2015

ajsco said:
Yes but this is all assuming that someone has a suspicion to actually go to that effort to try and get info. First they'd have to find where you live and then camp out 25 meters from your house to monitor your web traffic and how many people would a saddo have to stalk to get anything from. In the UK hacking is made slightly more difficult as we use dynamic IPs, if you want static you have to pay for it.

The chance of it happening is so low it's not even worth worrying about!

I brought up phones and wifi simply because most people think they are secure. The cracking of routers tho can be done from anywhere, and once done can monitor and pull history of every thing. The more secure you try to make something the more interesting you make it to hackers. However once they get threw you're firewall/router normally that's game and they leave a small bug or nothing. Never telling anyone else what they found. At least that's what I've seen on the every day gamer, I don't know how much farther people would go on more public people. But I haven't seen anything to indicate it's not around the same.

As far as dynamic ip's that's the global norm as far as I know, until IPV6. But some people have websites and pay for static addresses, and others ip's rotate slowly over a few days to a few weeks.

TLDR
No matter what you do some people will know, don't let it bother you. Worry will effect you more negatively then anything else. Don't change you're life just because of others.

ApplePi · Mar 2, 2015

computerProgrammer said:
I brought up phones and wifi simply because most people think they are secure. The cracking of routers tho can be done from anywhere, and once done can monitor and pull history of every thing. The more secure you try to make something the more interesting you make it to hackers. However once they get threw you're firewall/router normally that's game and they leave a small bug or nothing. Never telling anyone else what they found. At least that's what I've seen on the every day gamer, I don't know how much farther people would go on more public people. But I haven't seen anything to indicate it's not around the same.

As far as dynamic ip's that's the global norm as far as I know, until IPV6. But some people have websites and pay for static addresses, and others ip's rotate slowly over a few days to a few weeks.

TLDR
No matter what you do some people will know, don't let it bother you. Worry will effect you more negatively then anything else. Don't change you're life just because of others.

That is true, they even have statistics of how many people bring there phone to the bathroom.

CookieMonstah · Mar 18, 2015

Cook said:
So to my disbelief, late last year I hit 1,000,000 subscribers on my YouTube channel! YouTube is a huge part of my life now (more than being an AB) as it is my full time job. I've always been very discreet with this side of my life as to not expose myself. It has never really been an issue as I just practice this at home alone. Now things are starting to change, in the space of a month I had 3 different news reporters come into my home to interview me. I was scared the whole time thinking I've left something out and they're going to find it. I'm getting more and more attention suddenly and I'm terrified of being exposed! Do you think it'd be irrational to give this up completely? I have huge mixed emotions about everything. I'm planning on going traveling for 6 months through the US, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Cuba, Italy and potentially more, so I won't be involved in anyway with my AB side. Do you think I should just try and forget about it in the hope I'll never be exposed or carry on in secrecy? Thanks a lot for your input

Hi, I respect your privacy, even if it does kill me inside wanting to know who you are. Can I ask what category on YouTube you fall under? I myself do video games, primarily FIFA (soccer) and thought I was literally the only ABDL that did YouTube like full time so to speak. I have 1.4k subscribers and love watching people on YouTube. No worries if you can't say anything I know how I'd feel if people knew who I was on YouTube.

MattiKins · Mar 20, 2015

Cook said:
You make some very good point's, I guess my personal life is just that, personal. And considering I only ever do it in the comfort of my own house I don't have to worry as much. I think at the moment everything is moving so fast (almost without me) that I'm working myself up! I've got a lot to think about.

Unfortunately I'm not going to share my channel as here is the only place I'm not associated with it and I can be myself. Thank a lot.

I'd say don't let it go, because when the fame goes away, and someday it will, you don't want to look on yourself and find a trail of neglect and repression. Just continue being you, in private or only with those you can trust (non-disclosure agreements work wonders). Keep an outlet here where nobody knows your public persona, so you can really be yourself. And, remember, if it does get out, best way to make it go away is to shrug, own it, and move on. If whatever it is you have going on is good enough, people will forget about it or not care.

I don't want to go!

Banned