What am I experiencing?

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How can I absolutely fill an Abena XL4 overnight, and not know when I'm doing it? This morning, my pad weight was 1130ml. I remember three wettings last night (sadly one about 5 minutes after changing) and this morning, but those combined would not have made 1130ml.

I can't keep a nappy dry more than 5 to 10 minutes after changing.

And tonight, just now, I was changing into my night nappy, and felt a little dribble...

I am really confused (and a bit frustrated) about my situation - emotional me says I want to keep my continence if I can, analytical me throws up all the evidence I'm seeing to date and concludes keeping continence is wishful thinking. But then analytical me looks to the future, and is really quite scared of what this all means, and the implications on work, finances, social life, and hobbies.

I know, based on what I am seeing, that that decision point to go 24/7 is close, though in a way I already am - I wear pullups to work, and nappies everywhere else, unless I'm going out for extended visits. The decision is whether to drop the pullups, and wear nappies 24/7.
 
Ouziebee, sorry to hear about your situation and how it is affecting you. I am going actually through the sane: I got the doctor to confirm my duration and the healthcare to pay for nappies. Also a certificate certifying my total incontinence, which enabled to receive radar/euro-keys for disabled toilet access and possibly extra luggage allowance for flights, It s nice to get that support and understanding. So if you haven’t done it yet, it is worthwhile to visit a doctor.


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Well, it's called incontinence, and enuresis, for a reason. Unfortunately, it can happen to the best of us, and seemingly for no reason at all.

Just think of this, I WISH my problems were as good as yours. Yeah, good. Not being able to pee at all- literally- is way worse. So don't worry about needing diapers, they aren't as bad as your making them out to be.
 
After reading the "Turp" thread here, I now understand what you mean, Slomo. Really thinking of you at the moment.

- - - Updated - - -

Have just returned home from pre-admission, and an ultrasound.

The bloke who did the ultrasound was really good about the absolutely weirdness of the circumstances of the ultrasound itself. End result, my issue does not seem to be caused by my prostate - it'd shrunk to the point where he stated that he was finding it hard to find. It was there though. (I wonder though whether it shrinking is also reducing the diameter of the urethra at the same time...)

Anyway, I decided that I would wear an Abena XL2 pullup to this procedure, thinking that i'd be constantly needing to get undressed/dressed today. In the end I should have worn a nappy, as even the ultrasound didn't require me to strip more than expose my belly/groin area.

But, I'm glad I did decide to wear pullups, because the experience showed that pullups are great for minor leaks, but anything more, they're a pain to change in a public toilet. I went through three today in the space of about 2 hours, including one I changed about 15 minutes after I put it on!

Hospital stay next week might be an overnight stay too...
 
ozziebee said:
After reading the "Turp" thread here, I now understand what you mean, Slomo. Really thinking of you at the moment.

- - - Updated - - -

Have just returned home from pre-admission, and an ultrasound.

The bloke who did the ultrasound was really good about the absolutely weirdness of the circumstances of the ultrasound itself. End result, my issue does not seem to be caused by my prostate - it'd shrunk to the point where he stated that he was finding it hard to find. It was there though. (I wonder though whether it shrinking is also reducing the diameter of the urethra at the same time...)

Anyway, I decided that I would wear an Abena XL2 pullup to this procedure, thinking that i'd be constantly needing to get undressed/dressed today. In the end I should have worn a nappy, as even the ultrasound didn't require me to strip more than expose my belly/groin area.

But, I'm glad I did decide to wear pullups, because the experience showed that pullups are great for minor leaks, but anything more, they're a pain to change in a public toilet. I went through three today in the space of about 2 hours, including one I changed about 15 minutes after I put it on!

Hospital stay next week might be an overnight stay too...

Pack your own diapers! If you think a pullup is limited, wait till you're forced to use a hospital's medical grade diaper.
 
As stated when I first posted here, I was quite bowel incontinent up through kinder, public school, high school, and into university. It largely stopped when I transitioned MtF, and post-surgery, though I've always suffered the occasional skid marks. I've mostly managed to find a way to hold on through the sometimes debilitating bowel urges that can hit at random times during the day.

I'm very much not established in any regularity - sometimes I'll go 4 or 5 days without a BM (and my bowels seem to be asleep, if that's a thing until the very last few minutes, then I can feel stuff happening), other times I'll go once a day, or two times a day. No trigger neither (eating, drinking, first thing in the morning after waking up, those kinds of things) for getting things moving along naturally.

I'm afraid of losing what bowel continence I have. I know that if I was to "let go", I'd very quickly lose this control.

Which means that those urges are terribly painful when I'm in a nappy. One part of me says "I'm in a nappy, just do it, and the short-lived pain will be gone". One other part of me goes "If I do go in my nappy, the next one will be easier, and theneasier, and then easier, and then it'll just happen, and then game over".

I don't want to do it. These bowel urges just keep coming and coming and coming until I've held on for long enough that I can do the deed between nappy changes. But what happens if I'm at work? I might not have the same luxury.

Today, the proverbial bell rung again when I headed off to the toilet, pulled down my pullup, and discovered skid marks once more, with absolutely no idea how or when that happened. Same as a few weekends ago at my dads place.

Hospital stay in a few days, probably also need to "come out" to my big sister about my wearing nappies (she knows my IC issues, but thinks I just wear pads, which I do in the medical sense (good 'ole terminology)).
 
Hospital visit over. Am in some pain. Doc did the cystoscopy, and discovered I have scarring in my urethra, sondid some dilation. My flow is a lot better, but can't stop it, and have stinging and some blood discharge.

Doc said that they could only get an 14fr cath in there. Is that ok a size.

Follow up is in Feb when they'll do a flow test. Doc also talked a bit about maybe doing a urethral reconstruction (which sounds a bit extreme), but if they're saying that, then maybe there's something a bit more going on down there than i thought.
 
... and of course today (first day back at work) I'm getting bladder urges, with some small releases of urine.

*sigh*
 
ozziebee said:
Hospital visit over. Am in some pain. Doc did the cystoscopy, and discovered I have scarring in my urethra, sondid some dilation. My flow is a lot better, but can't stop it, and have stinging and some blood discharge.

Doc said that they could only get an 14fr cath in there. Is that ok a size.

Follow up is in Feb when they'll do a flow test. Doc also talked a bit about maybe doing a urethral reconstruction (which sounds a bit extreme), but if they're saying that, then maybe there's something a bit more going on down there than i thought.

I just had a cysto this morning too! Done as a typical office visit though. A 14 fr is the smallest standard size they normally carry. 16 fr is considered standard (their sizes are all even numbers, and you typically wont see bigger than 22).

Lucky you though. My stricture was so closed off they could hardly get a metal guide wire in my bladder. Followed by dilation (ouch), then a 16fr catheter. And this afternoon I'm at work.

I'm a bit versed in the reconstruction too. Unfortunately for me, I can't get a typical urethroplasty reconstruction done. My stricture is too high up in the prostate, and trying to remove it via a turp failed. No idea what comes next, hoping it isn't a diversion.
 
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