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EmeraldRegice

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Abenalover said:
The excitement of "being seen wearing a diaper out in public" is quite real. Every time I go out wearing it is exciting for me. However there is a difference between "being seen" wearing a diaper, and having the diaper you are wearing being seen by the public. One is thrilling. The other, if done intentionally, is simply forcing your fetish onto an unsuspecting and unwilling public.

This is another topic that I wish to bring to the surface of the community here. This unsuspecting and unwilling public is by any means not the right thing to do, but let's discuss the feelings of this topic.

I am all about going out covered in public wearing a diaper like many people, and what the excitement it is. How is it you feel someone who saw you in a diaper out in a public place might think about it? To me, it is what it is, just look at them and shrug my shoulders and then walk off. What urges or thoughts and feeling do you have about being in public diaper completely showing, like say a t shirt and a diaper and shoes? I'm curious to understand the mindset others have about these questions and in no way mean it is an aggressive or intrusive manner onto anyone. How do you feel when you do use your diaper out in public? Have you ever changed publicly like in a restroom or used the changing table they have in them sometimes? I'm sure other questions will arise but I just want to put this topic out in the open for discussion.
 
I don't often venture out in public while diapered, but it's happened before, and will surely happen again. And I do find it somewhat thrilling, even when my diaper isn't poking out of my pants (which it never is).

I'm not big on the fetish exhibitionism, though. Once a person has seen your deliberately-exposed diaper, they're an involuntary participant in a sex act as far as I'm concerned. That they might only find it weird is irrelevant. (IMO.)

Imagine if we suddenly lived side-by-side with another intelligent species that had an anatomy utterly unlike our own. I'd still hope that the wiser members of that species would discourage the less-wise from masturbating right in front of us, even if we were unlikely to know what we were seeing.
 
Cottontail said:
Once a person has seen your deliberately-exposed diaper, they're an involuntary participant in a sex act as far as I'm concerned. That they might only find it weird is irrelevant. (IMO.)
Agreed. If it's accidental or they were being nosey, so be it, accidents happen. But going out there hiding it badly on purpose with the hope that someone notices is pretty rude/disrespectful.

Unfortunately for rational discussion, it's also one of those things where intent matters, and it's nearly impossible to know for sure what motivations were behind any given action performed by and anyone other than yourself.
 
EmeraldRegice said:
How is it you feel someone who saw you in a diaper out in a public place might think about it? To me, it is what it is, just look at them and shrug my shoulders and then walk off.
That's basically what I would do if someone noticed my diaper while I was concealing it.

What urges or thoughts and feeling do you have about being in public diaper completely showing, like say a t shirt and a diaper and shoes?
I'd like to be able to walk around my own yard like that (and I do, late at night - I get a rush). I'd also like to be able to do it in situations where less clothing is normal, such as on the beach, but I understand that that is not possible and I'm not strongly enough inclined to do it that I would let my judgement be affected.

How do you feel when you do use your diaper out in public?
Wetting is part of life for me at this point, so I don't feel much.

When I mess, I feel remarkably uncomfortable as dealing with mess in public is difficult.

Have you ever changed publicly like in a restroom or used the changing table they have in them sometimes?
I don't use changing tables as they're not meant for adults, certainly not adults my size. I may use them to put things on while I change against the wall but that's about it.

I do change in restrooms. I use disabled restrooms. I did prior to being incon but I feel a lot less guilty about it now as I do, in fact, have a disability.

I also use public showers, which the National Public Toilet Map (toiletmap.gov.au) lists - I occasionally need to.
 
With all the tv ads these days about incontinence the public is well aware folks need products. So if they notice not going to be a big deal. Now going out in a shirt and diaper only that is pushing it. Although i do it at home in the morning when i let the dogs out. But my neighbors know im incont. I do hang my chux on the wash line.
 
I have to wear all the time in public due to my incontinence, so I don't really feel any different to normal as my wearing is a neccesity. I would therefore never expose my incontinence pad on purpose.

As I'm a fairly normal looking 20-something boy, when people have realised that I'm wearing a nappy they have either looked at me in disbelief or in pity. I'm fairly open with the fact that I wear nappies with my peers, that probably stems from the fact again that I need to wear them, so being open is definitely the best option!
 
Ah, another self-appointed defender of what is proper AB behavior. Save me. If you're going to do this (intentionally) then you live with the repercussions. If this isn't going to be something you would mind your family and employer finding out you're doing, then go for it. Otherwise, don't come running to me when it backfires on you. The last thing I am concerned with is whether it makes the "AB community" look bad.
 
Kaliborio said:
I may use them to put things on while I change against the wall but that's about it.
You actually don't need to use a wall to change standing up. Just brace your forearm across the front of the diaper to hold it up, then use your free arm to bring the back wing around. Because your forearm is holding the front, it should leave your hand free and in the right spot to tape up the tapes.

It's significantly faster and easier than leaning against a wall. I had just kind of assumed everyone knew about it.
 
willnotwill said:
Ah, another self-appointed defender of what is proper AB behavior. Save me. If you're going to do this (intentionally) then you live with the repercussions. If this isn't going to be something you would mind your family and employer finding out you're doing, then go for it. Otherwise, don't come running to me when it backfires on you. The last thing I am concerned with is whether it makes the "AB community" look bad.

I don't know. I think there are some subtleties that you're either missing or not speaking to. Are you meaning to imply that accidental and deliberate exposures, because they might be functionally equivalent from the standpoint of the observer, are only as bad as the consequences for the exposer? If so, I really have to disagree. I think the vast majority of people, when out in public, like to think that those around them have their sexualities firmly under control. With that in mind, it's hard for me to condone behaviors that could be construed as "getting off" while in public. Similarly, while I'm not too worried about how these kinds of behaviors reflect on the general ABDL population (I view efforts to actively improve the reputation of the ABDL community mainly as therapy for those involved), I still feel compelled to speak up about them. I mean... You probably don't worry too much about how rape reflects on the male population, but you probably still view it as awful. :shrug: Extreme analogy, I realize, but to illustrate how separate the concerns can be...
 
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I am not in any way saying this is a real thing, I only wish to bring a hypothetical situations to the table to further the discussion more in depth. Now I do what I can to not "force or impose" my desires onto any unwilling public, and I'll answer my own question honestly for the community.

So this situation is that you see a couple out, not anywhere too public, just a local convenience store where there is not too much traffic and mainly repeat customers, as they are repeat customers in complete normal attire most of the time. The staff are well aware of the situation and don't turn the other cheek, but play into it when the couple stops there be on slight occasion. This couple is a Daddy/LG relation between the two, and it has been like this for a couple years now. The confidence that the dou have is absolute. They are not bothered by being scene in a common environment where they are not usually challenged for the oddity of the situation that they portray to the others in the store. They are able to come in and leave without any real major distractions or issues pertaining to them. Both roleplay, not all the time but are not embarrassed, worried, troubled by the thought of on occasion if both are in the mindset that they don't mind going out to the store.

-So my thoughts are 1. You have a more natural environment in the store as the staff are understanding and don't judge the couple because they return in just normal clothing most of the time, if it is a more common store for certain same people. 2. That level of understanding within themselves is on a different level than most people in the community, but as long they are respectful in the manner to which they go about it, and don't force anyone else into the scene, then that is how I will try to put it into words as almost a natural, I don't know the words to describe it correctly. 3. The atmosphere created in the store is not a threatening one and thus, they are more likely to be their alter ego role play selves as they shop. This also includes the staff playing part in it and their ability to understand it sets the company image a certain way, but it is a "non-discriminating" image by today's world society standards in this part of the world. 4. If they are maintaining a respectful disposition then I feel that they are making their best effort to be a caring in the ways of thinking about how the others in the store are feeling and thinking. They just go about their day and politely in a respectful manner treat any questions asked towards them then it is showing that the community wants (or them more specifically) a fair treatment in the eyes of others not into it, or those that don't completely understand it. Those that want to learn more , if greeted in a respectful and polite manner, only shows good tidings from the duo. 5. "There is safety in numbers"

Now say that last statement safety in numbers is this. A group of say 14 indivuals mixed male/female, some duo, set up a meet up time at the nearby mall. Some are a Daddy/LG duo, some just a single individual wearing a diaper, and others of mixed races are all in one group. They just all go to the food court and eat in a non-obtrusive manner and chat about who they are, and make friends with another.

-The general public may not, and I feel, most might not understand, but some may come up to ask questions and say hi even. I feel we are in a state of society where we are in an UP-rising of acceptance of anyone, but that is a slow long road. I feel that it if they would not be obtrusive or acting in an aggressive or objective manner, then the harm is minimal at that, as they are out of the norm but not caring about other's thoughts which does bring up controversy about what the harm, is, and to who is getting the harm.

Take an individual who goes out LG, with a daddy to the park (1) At night and (2) day when it is empty. 1. At night they have the darkness to conceal them and let them be free almost from the worries of being judged. 2. The day poses a larger risk but as above they have the mindset to be able to walk out that door and head to the park uncaring about being judged. If they are acting in "respectful, non- obtrusive manner" then they have the civil rights to be treated in a certain manner. They can always remove themselves from a dangerous situation by just leaving and heading somewhere else.

How do you feel, and what do you make of each situation? What "sexualities, or getting off, or "exhibitionism-ing"" do you feel is being created here fair or unfair to those role playing and to the public? How do you feel those that are into the exhibitionism factor should be treated while out, or viewed upon, by other exhibitionists and the non-exhibitionists within the community?

I agree both ways as in certain ways both parties are fair and unfair to each other. It is difficult to explain in words and will return to make more comments as well read them that replied. As far as the exhibitionists I feel that from a community wide standpoint we can't dislike them for what their thought process is because they have to rationalize their behaviors just like anyone else might have to. On the hand that many others have said up in this thread above, yes if they are not acting in a civil manner to represent to community then there is an issue there. It would be a infinity times a million blue moon you might even see diapers wide out being flaunt around like they don't care who sees, it seems like.

I feel accidental exposures are fun in their ways, but deliberate exposure is a different ballpark. I have a much more open mind that other people, but am in no way trying to disrespect anyone's feelings or thoughts in this topic.
 
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Cottontail said:
I don't often venture out in public while diapered, but it's happened before, and will surely happen again. And I do find it somewhat thrilling, even when my diaper isn't poking out of my pants (which it never is).

I'm not big on the fetish exhibitionism, though. Once a person has seen your deliberately-exposed diaper, they're an involuntary participant in a sex act as far as I'm concerned. That they might only find it weird is irrelevant. (IMO.)

Imagine if we suddenly lived side-by-side with another intelligent species that had an anatomy utterly unlike our own. I'd still hope that the wiser members of that species would discourage the less-wise from masturbating right in front of us, even if we were unlikely to know what we were seeing.

I think this deserves further analysis. We already know there are a number of ABDLs who don't have any sexual desire tied in with their diaper wearing. I certainly do, although I don't have any noticeable interest in exhibitionism. If your statement were to make sense, wouldn't my sexual motivation for diaper wearing also make everyone in public unwitting (and presumably involuntary) participants in my sexual act of wearing as I walked down the street fully clothed? Isn't that essentially the same as seeing someone in public and sexually fantasizing about them? How far are we going to go to keep this thing pure? Is our discussion here a sexual act? Should we be getting permission from our SOs?

I think that while wearing exposed in public can be a sexual act, there's no reason that it must be so. Even if someone's mind and spirit are completely pure, I'm willing to go along that rubbing one's exposed diaper for sexual gratification in public is a public sex act. I'm much less inclined to think that just walking down the street in nothing but a diaper is also a public sex act. It's weird. It's less than ideal probably for most people involved. It might be sexual but unless it is obviously so by further word or deed, I don't see how you tell.

Back to myself, I don't find my long-term wearing to be sexual in practice although it totally is in motivation. There is a thrill connected with knowing that I'm wearing and using something most adults don't and wouldn't want to. The crux of the thrill in long term wear is the long term itself. It adds to my pleasure in private at home to know that I've worn for multiple days and will likely continue to do so. The sex act is private but it is fueled by the clocked consistency. I don't see how this affects anyone but me. If it was hats that turned me on would it be any different?
 
Trevor said:
If your statement were to make sense, wouldn't my sexual motivation for diaper wearing also make everyone in public unwitting (and presumably involuntary) participants in my sexual act of wearing as I walked down the street fully clothed?

I don't think so, but perhaps I'm splitting hairs. As I see it, though, you have to draw the line at mind-reading, or else everybody would be guilty. For example, I think there's a big difference between experiencing a feeling of sexual attraction toward a woman, and staring at her cleavage until she notices you and turns away. We know that these kinds of attractions are extremely common, but as a society we also value restraint, or at least the ability to keep things to oneself. That's quintessentially human. Strip that away and we're just sex-machines like so many animals.

Trevor said:
I'm much less inclined to think that just walking down the street in nothing but a diaper is also a public sex act. It's weird. It's less than ideal probably for most people involved. It might be sexual but unless it is obviously so by further word or deed, I don't see how you tell.

Yes, very weird. I see what you mean, and on an abstract level I agree. But on a practical level, I do think we're each responsible for some social decorum, and that often dictates that we behave in a way so as to make it clear that our behaviors are not sexually motivated. For instance, if your genitals itch, you're probably not going to stand there rubbing or scratching them in public. It just looks really suspicious. Innocent in reality? Sure. But reasonably kept to oneself? I think so. That's an opinion, of course.
 
Trevor said:
I think that while wearing exposed in public can be a sexual act, there's no reason that it must be so. Even if someone's mind and spirit are completely pure, I'm willing to go along that rubbing one's exposed diaper for sexual gratification in public is a public sex act. I'm much less inclined to think that just walking down the street in nothing but a diaper is also a public sex act. It's weird. It's less than ideal probably for most people involved. It might be sexual but unless it is obviously so by further word or deed, I don't see how you tell.
You couldn't tell for sure short of mind reading. The thing is that even if walking down the street in just a diaper is completely nonsexual for someone, it could still be reasonably interpreted as a sexually motivated act by outside observers. At risk of making a gun analogy, I live in what used to be an open carry state. Despite it having been completely legal and innocent (not planning on shooting anybody) for me to go walking down the busiest street in the city with a giant handgun strapped to my hip in plain sight, other people wouldn't have interpreted it that way. A lot of them would be uncomfortable, and some possibly freak out a bit. The general public can't read minds, they don't know my intentions or background, so it would be reasonable for them to be nervous. As such, I never went around open carrying though there was no law against it. I think the same really applies to exposing diapers in public. It's not like you have to go out of your way to do a reasonable job of concealing them, so why go out of your way to inflict them on the general public? Sexual or not, it just seems rude.
 
I enjoy going out in public in a properly-covered diaper. To me half the fun of being ab is donning childish clothes and padding and going out into the world - it's authentic, in a way. Something millions of babies and toddlers do everyday.
 
Cottontail said:
I don't think so, but perhaps I'm splitting hairs. As I see it, though, you have to draw the line at mind-reading, or else everybody would be guilty. For example, I think there's a big difference between experiencing a feeling of sexual attraction toward a woman, and staring at her cleavage until she notices you and turns away. We know that these kinds of attractions are extremely common, but as a society we also value restraint, or at least the ability to keep things to oneself. That's quintessentially human. Strip that away and we're just sex-machines like so many animals.



Yes, very weird. I see what you mean, and on an abstract level I agree. But on a practical level, I do think we're each responsible for some social decorum, and that often dictates that we behave in a way so as to make it clear that our behaviors are not sexually motivated. For instance, if your genitals itch, you're probably not going to stand there rubbing or scratching them in public. It just looks really suspicious. Innocent in reality? Sure. But reasonably kept to oneself? I think so. That's an opinion, of course.

irnub said:
You couldn't tell for sure short of mind reading. The thing is that even if walking down the street in just a diaper is completely nonsexual for someone, it could still be reasonably interpreted as a sexually motivated act by outside observers. At risk of making a gun analogy, I live in what used to be an open carry state. Despite it having been completely legal and innocent (not planning on shooting anybody) for me to go walking down the busiest street in the city with a giant handgun strapped to my hip in plain sight, other people wouldn't have interpreted it that way. A lot of them would be uncomfortable, and some possibly freak out a bit. The general public can't read minds, they don't know my intentions or background, so it would be reasonable for them to be nervous. As such, I never went around open carrying though there was no law against it. I think the same really applies to exposing diapers in public. It's not like you have to go out of your way to do a reasonable job of concealing them, so why go out of your way to inflict them on the general public? Sexual or not, it just seems rude.

I do think it lacks decorum and depending on circumstances, it might also be rude to be out in an exposed diaper. While exposing others to an involuntary sex act entails those things, I think it's much bigger and is frequently illegal (as it should be). I'm not arguing that you have no right to offense from such a thing, merely that offense isn't that important in the larger scheme of things. I see things that offend me when I step out into the world. A person in an exposed diaper going about their business doesn't seem like a huge deal to me in that context. If i had my druthers, people generally wouldn't do that but that applies to a lot of things.

For full disclosure, I have been out in public a few times with an exposed diaper. I made what to me is a reasonable effort for no one who wasn't interested would see. I can't speak to spy satellites or folks with binoculars. I was hanging out with others who found the experience more compelling than I do. I wouldn't call it a result of peer pressure but one of support and solidarity. I don't think my goodwill in this would extend to doing it with the intention that people would see unless an event made it acceptable.
 
Trevor said:
I'm not arguing that you have no right to offense from such a thing, merely that offense isn't that important in the larger scheme of things. I see things that offend me when I step out into the world.
I'm in no way trying to imply that you have some kind of inherent right to not be offended when going outside or whatever. Mostly what I'm getting at is that there are certain standards of dress expected by society in general. Going out in obvious and easily visible fetishwear (whether or not it's a fetish for you personally doesn't matter, nobody else is going to know that) is just one of those things that's considered unacceptable by society at large. Where you draw the line as to "easily visible" is up to you. Maybe you can even be more generous with it depending on the diaper, e.g. people aren't necessarily going to think "fetish" seeing the waistband of a plain white diaper, but they probably will if it's the waistband of an ABDL diaper that says "BABY" across the top. Personally if I was into public exposure, I'd refrain from wearing in public at all just because I know myself well enough to not trust my own motivations.
 
The trouble I run into is figuring out what it is we're getting upset about with this stuff. Is it the fact that something is sexual and done publicly? Is it the fact that other people might think it's sexual? Is it a question of the individual's intent or a question of the actual effect on the public? I guess, ask yourself which of the following scenarios would upset you:

1. An incontinent person who isn't paying attention has their shirt ride up and is accidentally showing their diaper to a market filled with people as they're walking around.
2. An ABDL for whom diapers are non-sexual comfort but with no physical need to wear has their shirt ride up and shows off their diaper by accident.
3. An ABDL for whom diapers are sexual has the same shirt ride up accidentally showing diapers to the public.
4. An incontinent person gets a thrill out of showing off their diapers (that they need to be wearing), so intentionally adjusts their clothes to let the diaper show to the public
5. An ABDL who doesn't need to be diapered gets a thrill out of showing off their diapers, and adjusts their clothes to make them visible.
6. An ABDL gets a specifically sexual thrill from showing off diapers, does it intentionally, and later masturbates about it.
7. Any of 4-6, except the person intentionally does it in a place with a population typically considered vulnerable (like a playground with kids, or a mall filled with families)

For me, 7 is obviously and seriously wrong, 6 is wrong, and 4-5 are things that I wouldn't do myself and would personally not approve of doing, but I wouldn't think somebody who did it was an awful person. Lacking a bit of self control maybe, but not awful. 1-3 I see as not having anything wrong with them. So, I think I have a problem if a person intentionally tries to expose themselves either for sexual pleasure or to a population that is likely to misunderstand or be harmed by it for any kind of pleasure. But I don't see a problem with just wearing diapers for any reason, and as with all things diaper related, accidents do happen sometimes.
 
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ArchieRoni said:
The trouble I run into is figuring out what it is we're getting upset about with this stuff. Is it the fact that something is sexual and done publicly? Is it the fact that other people might think it's sexual? Is it a question of the individual's intent or a question of the actual effect on the public? I guess, ask yourself which of the following scenarios would upset you:

1. An incontinent person who isn't paying attention has their shirt ride up and is accidentally showing their diaper to a market filled with people as they're walking around.
2. An ABDL for whom diapers are non-sexual comfort but with no physical need to wear has their shirt ride up and shows off their diaper by accident.
3. An ABDL for whom diapers are sexual has the same shirt ride up accidentally showing diapers to the public.
4. An incontinent person gets a thrill out of showing off their diapers (that they need to be wearing), so intentionally adjusts their clothes to let the diaper show to the public
5. An ABDL who doesn't need to be diapered gets a thrill out of showing off their diapers, and adjusts their clothes to make them visible.
6. An ABDL gets a specifically sexual thrill from showing off diapers, does it intentionally, and later masturbates about it.
7. Any of 4-6, except the person intentionally does it in a place with a population typically considered vulnerable (like a playground with kids, or a mall filled with families)

For me, 7 is obviously and seriously wrong, 6 is wrong, and 4-5 are things that I wouldn't do myself and would personally not approve of doing, but I wouldn't think somebody who did it was an awful person. Lacking a bit of self control maybe, but not awful. 1-3 I see as not having anything wrong with them. So, I think I have a problem if a person intentionally tries to expose themselves either for sexual pleasure or to a population that is likely to misunderstand or be harmed by it for any kind of pleasure. But I don't see a problem with just wearing diapers for any reason, and as with all things diaper related, accidents do happen sometimes.

Reading your above examples, I thought of one of the rare times I might have exposed myself while wearing. I was wearing 24/7 and went out fishing at a dock with an ABDL friend (I don't think he was wearing at the time). The first couple times I was casting my line, I didn't think about what I was wearing. It's quite possible my untucked shirt exposed my diaper on that crowded dock. Once I remembered I was diapered, I was a little more careful in my casting. That's my modesty talking, not any sense that it would be wrong to let anyone see. The idea that I as a sexually motivated ABDL bears any social responsibility for that is laughable to me. It's just life.

I find it interesting that for some who enjoy diapers sexually or think about those who do, there seems to be a belief that it's therefore always sexual. Most people are attracted to some kind of other person and this is ultimately driven by a sexual urge. Having said that, I think very few would conclude that all interactions between people who feel attraction are sexual in nature. My feelings about diapers are similar in this respect. I want diapers because they provide a degree of sexual fulfillment but although I'm wearing one right now as I type, I can't see this post is a sexual act.

I think that if we can learn to accept that diapers can mean more than one thing, even in variance with one's ultimate motivation(s) for wanting them, we can start to see ABDL behavior more in proper context. I think intent is key and how one behaves while exposed is also highly relevant. The most innocent actions may still generate ill will or even action but that's a different concern.
 
I know I've unintentionally exposed my padding in public at least once. I was shoe shopping and when I sat up from the trying-on bench, my shirts and jacket had ridden up showing the top of my pull-up. I was just happy my mom was in another aisle of the store at the time. If other people see my diaper accidentally, I don't really care.
 
And then we have the literally thousands and thousands of air heads who think it is quite OK, and maybe even fashionable to walk around the hood with their boxers very blatantly showing (called "sagging"). No one would ever dare point them out or call them on it. It almost makes me as a diaper wearer wonder who gives a crap! If a diaper wearer is "sagging" whether on purpose or on accident, what business is it of mine or yours?
Makes you wonder if the young punk saggers will continue with their sagging ways when they become old and infirm and diaper wearing incontinent. Wouldn't that make a real fashion statement in "the hood"!
; - )
 
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