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Thread: What to do?

  1. #1

    Default What to do?

    Hello everyone,
    I'm very new to the forum, and I'm really not sure what to do.
    I don't really know how I identify myself... I like sucking on pacifiers, and I have recently worn incontinence briefs as diapers since I bought some online. I like wetting them, but I never wet them or wet in my sleep.

    These feelings are definitely for comfort and for the sexual side of it.

    Anyways, that's not the problem.
    The only person I've confided in about this is my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she was rather repulsed by some of this. (When I told her it was really just the pacifiers, I hadn't tried the diaper stuff yet.) We talked about it (over text, not face to face) and her reaction was so negative that we really haven't talked about it since. I have told her that if she wanted to talk about any of this or had any questions that I would answer them, but she won't talk about it.
    What should I do?
    It's not neccesarily hurting the relationship, but I don't want to always be hiding this and being secretive towards her.


    Is there another way I can approach the situation to help her see that it's not that crazy?

  2. #2

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    First: welcome to the group.

    An introduction would be helpful. Because of this I am a little reluctant to share to much info. Just because.

    Second: the best advice is Communication, communication, communication. Taking about each others feelings and concerns is a big part and getting an understanding of each other will help gain understanding.

    Third: Baby Mitchy has a great video on YouTube called "understanding being an adult baby". When I can out to my wife I had her sit down and watch this.

    I hope this helps.

    Egor

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by QuestioningLittle View Post
    Hello everyone,
    I'm very new to the forum, and I'm really not sure what to do.
    I don't really know how I identify myself... I like sucking on pacifiers, and I have recently worn incontinence briefs as diapers since I bought some online. I like wetting them, but I never wet them or wet in my sleep.

    These feelings are definitely for comfort and for the sexual side of it.

    Anyways, that's not the problem.
    The only person I've confided in about this is my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she was rather repulsed by some of this. (When I told her it was really just the pacifiers, I hadn't tried the diaper stuff yet.) We talked about it (over text, not face to face) and her reaction was so negative that we really haven't talked about it since. I have told her that if she wanted to talk about any of this or had any questions that I would answer them, but she won't talk about it.
    What should I do?
    It's not neccesarily hurting the relationship, but I don't want to always be hiding this and being secretive towards her.


    Is there another way I can approach the situation to help her see that it's not that crazy?
    Hello and welcome to the forum!

    ADISC is a group of people with a few similar interests in regression, age play, diapers or a combination of any of these things. The best part is, although that's our tying bind, there is a MASSIVE variety of personalities and other interests as well that keep this forum alive and moving forward. Please don't feel like you HAVE to do anything here. Just do what feels natural, chime in where you like to, and show us a part of you that you feel comfortable being. It's not our place to pass judgment on anyone, and if you ever feel too uncomfortable, you can always delete your account and not stress over it ever again. So please don't feel like you have obligations now that you've joined us. Just enjoy the company

    I can imagine there's a lot of things going on in your head right now. It's hard enough having to accept the fact that you are interested in this part of you (Whatever that may be). The first step to acceptance is figuring out what exactly you're interested in, because that will determine how to best approach finding self-acceptance. As for acceptance from others (such as your GF) unfortunately you can't make someone understand and accept you as much as you'd like to. I'm sorry if that wasn't the answer you were looking for

    You know your girlfriend better than any of us do, so ultimately you will know how to best apply any advice we give you. You can use as much or as little advice as you'd like and give it your own personal approach so that it will work out for you.

    A couple of clarification questions to move this thread along a bit: (Please answer as much as you can, but if you're uncomfortable or not sure, don't feel pressured! We're here to help, but these questions are mostly for your own benefit so they can be rhetorical if you like)
    - How long have you and your girlfriend been together?
    - How long have you known you had an interest in diapers?
    - Do you only like pacifiers or are there other babyish things that you've found yourself attracted to? Have you tried exploring these interests or are you just confused?
    - Do you ever try to act like a kid or baby again intentionally? If it sort of happens unintentionally, how does it make you feel?
    - Do you know why she was repulsed by the pacifier? (Of all the regression things, that's probably one of the most mundane in my opinion...)
    - If you feel like you can't be yourself in a relationship, how long do you think you can keep the relationship up?
    - Even though she doesn't bring this up, does she act differently around you now that you mentioned your interests to her?
    - What's her personality like? Is she usually not very open to strange things or is this just something particular that she's not comfortable with?
    - Would you feel comfortable bringing it up to her face-to-face?
    - If you maintain a don't ask don't tell thing, is it still you being secretive? Could there be a middle ground where you're just not being overt about that part of you?

    These are simply starter questions for us to figure out what your situation is so we can best advise you on how to approach this. There's a lot of variables to the circumstance and I wouldn't want to tell you something that could potentially ruin your situation. If you're super uncomfortable putting this on the forums, you can always send me a Private Message and I'd be happy to listen to your issue and help out as best as I can. Let me know what I can do to help.

  4. #4

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    Sorry for not giving enough details...


    - How long have you and your girlfriend been together?
    A little over two years.
    - How long have you known you had an interest in diapers?
    A legitimate interest in diapers is relatively new. As in the past month. (I talked to her about this about 8 months ago)
    - Do you only like pacifiers or are there other babyish things that you've found yourself attracted to? Have you tried exploring these interests or are you just confused?
    I'm not really sure. I do really like pacifiers, and I used to have a bottle. That's about it.
    - Do you ever try to act like a kid or baby again intentionally? If it sort of happens unintentionally, how does it make you feel?
    I don't think I really try to act like a kid or baby.
    - Do you know why she was repulsed by the pacifier? (Of all the regression things, that's probably one of the most mundane in my opinion...)
    I think she jumped to the conclusion that I expected her to be involved and the pacifier thing would open the door to full on ABDL stuff.
    - If you feel like you can't be yourself in a relationship, how long do you think you can keep the relationship up?
    I mean, this is a pretty small part of my life. I don't want to completely call it a fetish because I do get a lot of comfort out of it. I think the relationship will go forward whether or not this aspect of it works how I want it to.
    - Even though she doesn't bring this up, does she act differently around you now that you mentioned your interests to her?
    She's a lot more conscious/unwanted me to have my mouth by her breasts. (As much as I can go into it on the fourm)
    - What's her personality like? Is she usually not very open to strange things or is this just something particular that she's not comfortable with?
    She is pretty conservative and not open to strange things.
    - Would you feel comfortable bringing it up to her face-to-face?
    I think I would be comfortable bringing it up, but I feel as if she would shoot it down and immediately ask to change the topic.
    - If you maintain a don't ask don't tell thing, is it still you being secretive? Could there be a middle ground where you're just not being overt about that part of you?
    I understand your question but I don't really have a solid answer. I still feel secretive because I need to be super super careful as to where I hide my pacifiers so she would never find them. I understand that she doesn't want to participate in this, but I wish I didn't have to do so much to conceal it all of the time.

    Thanks!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by QuestioningLittle View Post
    Sorry for not giving enough details...


    - How long have you and your girlfriend been together?
    A little over two years.
    - How long have you known you had an interest in diapers?
    A legitimate interest in diapers is relatively new. As in the past month. (I talked to her about this about 8 months ago)
    - Do you only like pacifiers or are there other babyish things that you've found yourself attracted to? Have you tried exploring these interests or are you just confused?
    I'm not really sure. I do really like pacifiers, and I used to have a bottle. That's about it.
    - Do you ever try to act like a kid or baby again intentionally? If it sort of happens unintentionally, how does it make you feel?
    I don't think I really try to act like a kid or baby.
    - Do you know why she was repulsed by the pacifier? (Of all the regression things, that's probably one of the most mundane in my opinion...)
    I think she jumped to the conclusion that I expected her to be involved and the pacifier thing would open the door to full on ABDL stuff.
    - If you feel like you can't be yourself in a relationship, how long do you think you can keep the relationship up?
    I mean, this is a pretty small part of my life. I don't want to completely call it a fetish because I do get a lot of comfort out of it. I think the relationship will go forward whether or not this aspect of it works how I want it to.
    - Even though she doesn't bring this up, does she act differently around you now that you mentioned your interests to her?
    She's a lot more conscious/unwanted me to have my mouth by her breasts. (As much as I can go into it on the fourm)
    - What's her personality like? Is she usually not very open to strange things or is this just something particular that she's not comfortable with?
    She is pretty conservative and not open to strange things.
    - Would you feel comfortable bringing it up to her face-to-face?
    I think I would be comfortable bringing it up, but I feel as if she would shoot it down and immediately ask to change the topic.
    - If you maintain a don't ask don't tell thing, is it still you being secretive? Could there be a middle ground where you're just not being overt about that part of you?
    I understand your question but I don't really have a solid answer. I still feel secretive because I need to be super super careful as to where I hide my pacifiers so she would never find them. I understand that she doesn't want to participate in this, but I wish I didn't have to do so much to conceal it all of the time.

    Thanks!
    Ooooh boy oh boy, this is a tough one...

    Well, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and figure if she's fairly conservative and is not open to the idea of you having a pacifier, then she probably has this idea of you being a 'manly man' and really doesn't want that image shattered or swapped for this caregiving relationship dynamic. Especially if she goes so far as to feel uncomfortable with you having your mouth around her breasts. In which case, it's a bit difficult on how to best approach this.

    First and foremost, if you've been together for two years then this isn't some throwaway relationship. Especially if you're willing to go forward even if you can't be open about your particular interests. My kudos to that, although you've really got to consider what the long term is going to look like if these interests persist and increase. Especially with the new interest in diapers. While just about anyone has the potential to have an interest in diapers, that combined with the pacifier might be indicative of some latent ABDL desires. It's hard to say since you're just now discovering this, because it could progress in a wide variety of ways. The pacifier thing I could see you just dealing with even if it is begrudgingly. But if your interests keep piquing in the direction of ABDL things, that will be MUCH more difficult to conceal and just live on with. Do you live with your GF? Because that's going to increase the difficulty factor as well.

    ABDL stuff is a small part of my life as well, especially lately. I'm caught up with so much stuff in life that ABDL interests are often more of a hindrance than a pleasure. But that doesn't negate the fact that it IS still a part of my life, and you have to keep that in consideration for yourself going down the road. I would advise looking into what we like to call the "Binge/Purge Cycle". Either part of the cycle can last for an extended period of time, and sometimes exploring this part of you can catalyze the binge portion. I've had a few binges where I start buying a bunch of ABDL stuff, then get caught up with life and hardly ever use it. But it's still here sitting in my room and there is a certain sense of security in me having these things on hand to use when I so please.

    I'm going to be a bit tentative in my answer because you still have some things you've got to figure out for yourself, and that's okay because it's all part of the process. Honestly it's something you'll have to just keep considering as your relationship continues and your interests go one way or another on the binge/purge cycle. But really this is going to require that either you compromise in keeping this hidden, she compromises by having this discussion with you (which I believe is necessary sooner or later, though be careful on pushing it), or you just do as you please and if she brings it up then you use that as your launching point for a discussion.

    I've heard it referred to as the 'hide and seek' method. It's extremely passive-aggressive, but it's basically a situation where you're going to leave this item (the pacifier in this case) wherever you please, and if she finds it and tries to confront you about it, then you just explain to her that you're not forcing her to engage with this whatsoever and are trying to respect her wishes to not engage with this, however at the same time you're not going to lie about who you are and try to keep up this secrecy. This method has the potential to become a full-blown fight, but if she's not going to address this, it might be better to just get it out of the way in this fashion. If you do this and she doesn't confront you about it but becomes increasingly distant, then it's backfiring and she's going to probably leave you, in which case there's nothing you can do because she's not communicating.

    Like Egor mentioned, communication is absolutely key. If she's not willing to discuss it, you have an elephant in the room which will pretty soon become a ticking time bomb of confrontation sooner or later. You guys have to talk about this one way or another and it will become a discussion point at some point in time if it remains a part of your life, no matter how small. Unless you guys break up before having the discussion, but in that case this whole conversation is sort of null and void.

    I wish I could give you something more concrete but if she won't discuss it with you, then she won't even TRY to understand it and you'll be talking to a brick wall. So no amount of articles or videos you show her will turn her around. Get the conversation rolling first. Then worry about using different methods to educate her.

  6. #6

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    I do not live with her. We live near each other and go to the same college, so we see each other a lot, but we do not live together. I definitely see myself in the sort of binge/purge cycle.
    I don't always think about it when I'm engaged with the pacifiers or diapers, but there are times I worry about her reactions. I just wish I could find a way to bring it into a conversation.

    Like you said before, maybe I will look into just bringing it up in person and seeing where that goes. I don't know when I would do it, but that is something to consider.

  7. #7

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    [COLOR="#0000CD"]
    Hi

    these youtube videos may help you with talking with you girlfriend

    Understanding Adult Babies & Diaper Lovers.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj02...e_gdata_player


    What an Adult Baby wants part 1

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE64...e_gdata_player


    What an Adult Baby wants part 2

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0408...e_gdata_player

    Hope this helps you.

    Sisi
    COLOR]

  8. #8

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    I understand the point of the videos, but I may be hesitant to that. I've seen one of the baby Mitchy videos before, but I don't think I really have an age that I act like that. For me, pacifiers and diapers are a comfort thing (and a big of a sexual thing). I've never really regressed in a way like that, so I think showing her one of those videos will give her an incorrect impression as to what I do/think about.

    I like the idea of a video, but I'm not sure if they would fit for my situation.

    Thanks!

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