Making a change.

You know I thought about starting a forum awhile ago after my most recent break up which was about give or take five days ago. I don't care to recall the exact date. I have spent all that time since then getting over it and with the help of friends and family I have. No small effort on my part. I moved past this so quickly because in the end it's not the first time something this bad has happened and I doubt it will be the last, but that is not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I wanted to express some thoughts and maybe someone somewhere can get something from them. This break up happened in part because my partner was not emotionally ready for a relationship and she was still not over her last one. She could not grow romantically interested in me and so she left. This was not her only reason. Her second reason was because of my little side. She knew of it because I told her out the gate. I figured given six days or six years if she could not accept that side of me the amount of time waited would not matter. So I told her and because I had spent three months prior with this person developing a strong friendship and no small amount of romantic interest and affection on my part she was accepting. She was open minded and I knew she would most likely accept it. She did, but she felt she wanted to do more. She wanted to care for that side of me and although she wanted to she knew she couldn't. She felt like she had to take care of me and this was a problem. She was still dealing with herself and so she left because of this to. She felt I was to emotional and it just wasn't what she needed. yes it still hurts and yes I hate the fact it did not work. Though now instead of missing her I simply hate the situation I'm in. I hate the not being in a relationship.

Now I guess onto the main point of this forum I have decide to start dating again I'm on Tinder and OKcupid ect and I'll see if I can't find someone around campus maybe I don't know, but I've decide no matter what going forward in life now I will not hid my little side. I will wait to tell people sure, but I see no point in hiding who I am. I will not hid a part of myself. I might not directly say I'm a little though I have directly said on both Tinder and OKc, but I will not hid it either. I met my now ex during a four month study abroad trip in Japan and in that time I went knowing nobody there knew me. I could be whoever I wanted so when I was there I'd walk around with a Plushie or get energetic or excited about getting ice cream ect. I'd enjoy things but still be myself. I had fully shown my who person and let the small ways my little side wanted to show be shown. In this I found some understanding and this is if you are yourself to your truest form the people that matter will stay and the ones that don't will go. Ultimately don't waste your time trying to live under someone else idea of you.... it's not them or their ideas that will make you complete. Only you can do that.