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Thread: Thinking about telling my mom (Advice?)

  1. #1

    Default Thinking about telling my mom (Advice?)

    I've been caught with diapers many times before in the past while growing up. At one point my mom even sent me to therapy but I refused to speak about it. I'd like to say I've already told my mom about liking diapers about 5 years ago. (2 years after being sent to therapy) At the time though I still didn't understand my feelings or why I liked them. Just briefly explained to her what being a diaper lover is. She was very accepting but felt like I was just going through a phase. We never spoke about it again after that.

    Now that I accept that this is who I am and understand why I have these feelings better. I've been having the urge to bring it up again. Me and my mom are very close and I am pretty sure that she would be accepting of who I am. But she blames herself for alot of the hell I and my brothers and sisters went through with my dad. Since I now know that diapers were used as a way to cope with dealing with my abusive father. I feel that she may blame herself for me being this way along with all my anxiety and despession issues just like she has in the past. So I'm unsure how to go about telling her why I am the way I am (A Diaper Lover) and that this is who I've always been without her blaming herself.

    The reason I want to bring it back up to her is I feel she may have forgotten about our whole talk and still feel the need to hide it from her and I'm tired of doing that even though I will probably be moving out in the next year..

    Any advice on how I could go about this would be a major help.

  2. #2

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    Hi there, it sounds as if you already know that she is going to be accepting and open minded, which is great! In terms of not wanting her to blame herself, I would emphasise when explaining it to her that as a coping strategy wearing diapers isn't a negative thing, and you're glad that you have diapers in your life.

    When I told my mum again she already partly knew, but was still shocked that I had told her. I was very calm about it and told her exactly how they make me feel and now shes cool with me wearing diapers. I hope it works out well for you

  3. #3

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    You know your mother probably better than anyone else and are better equipped to understand how she will react. If, as you say, you think she will be accepting of it then perhaps talking about being a DL with her is a viable option for you. Doubly so because she already knows. Even though she may not talk about it or bring it up, I bet she still remembers your previous talk.

    Some of the best advice I'd ever seen for discussing ABDLism with parents was on a website called Bitter Grey's Den. I can't seem to find it at the moment, and it was skewed more towards AB, but in theory the guiding principals should apply. Essentially it recommended that you be sure you want to go through with the discussion and be well prepared beforehand for the tough questions. Even though your mother is accepting it may take time before she fully understands or comes to term with the idea. As people we tend to like things that are over and done with, but some things are a process that cannot be rushed. And above all, be honest. An honest discussion will go a long way.

    I haven't personally told anyone, so most of my advice is just conjecture. I'm sure others will be along shortly who can offer first hand experience. All I can say is hang in there and good luck. Let us know how it goes if you do bring the issue up.

  4. #4

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    If you believe that this will hurt your mother and you will be moving out in the next year, why not just tough it out and save her the misery? Why would you want relief at her expense? That said, would you truly experience relief if you caused your mother pain?

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by FaelanGalanti View Post
    Some of the best advice I'd ever seen for discussing ABDLism with parents was on a website called Bitter Grey's Den.
    http://understanding.infantilism.org/

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenn View Post
    If you believe that this will hurt your mother and you will be moving out in the next year, why not just tough it out and save her the misery? Why would you want relief at her expense? That said, would you truly experience relief if you caused your mother pain?
    This is exactly what I'm thinking. She already knows, so that's old ground. If you are wearing in the house, she probably knows that as well. If you want her acceptance, that's another issue. As others have said, do a little research so you can answer questions well. Wikipedia has two very good articles, one on Infantalism and the other on Love Mapping. Bitter Gray has a good sight, Understanding Infantalism. They might actually do you more good than her as I'm sensing your need for acceptance. That starts with self acceptance.

  7. #7

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    Thank you everyone who gave their input/advice. I've been reading all them and a few of you made some good points on the fact of sparing her some pain and just toughing it out for another year. I think I'm just going to let it be for now unless she confronts me about it. I do not wish to cause her more pain even though I know she would accept me for who I am.
    She actually played a big part indirectly on me accepting that I am a diaper lover since she always preaches that I should love and accept who I am and has been there for me through out alot of my anxiety and depression issues which along with the adisc community helped me accept and love who I am.
    I guess what I was wanting out of this was acceptance or at least to an extent. Which I know she already has but again she felt I was just going through a phase because I never told her that I've had these feelings since I was 5/6 years old.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by AAO View Post
    Well hey. I could have sworn I'd tried that and gotten a DNS lookup error. Maybe my internet just dropped out.

  9. #9

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    Until my Mom's death I always joked with her that she thought she would adopt me later in life so as to not have to deal with diapers, I took care of that and was back in diapers and she would be expected to change them if needed, but my Mom was completely different than any other woman I have ever met.

  10. #10

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    Just saying, you'll have better luck than I will. I'm destined to be disowned one way or another by my parents. Whether due to my sexual orientation or because of my sissy/abdl side. Course, it could've always been worse. Could've been a pot head like my elder brother or a thief like my other brother

    But yeah, best thing is to have a private talk sitting down, say on the bed, when she seems in a light hearted mood. Hope it works out.

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