Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Confused

  1. #1

    Default Confused

    I am ripping my mind apart over all this, because I have no idea what to do.

    I don't know how many of you have read my recent blogs about my depression and the recent happenings where my friend suggested suicide to me and I almost acted on it.

    I have defriended and blocked said person, I can most certainly say that I am indeed happier without her in my life. She I believe was the root cause of my depression. She was very supportive to me, but also could be very cruel and verbally and emotionally abusive.

    I don't usually read to much into my dreams that I have at night and I'm not sure if anyone here thinks that there is more to them. But last night, my dream involved her, I was with her and I was happy.

    I seriously don't know what to do, I feel like my subconscious is trying to tell me to make mends with her eventually. But I also fear falling back into the same situation again.

    She can't admit that she suggested suicide to me, she is lying about it to everyone and saying that I took what she said out of context. I still very much care for her, I have a lot of good memories together. But I am struggling to find forgiveness for her actions even though I have a lot of people telling me I need to in order to heal.

    I'm really not sure what I should do.

  2. #2

    Default

    I've been through similar experiences with good people who don't really care in the end.
    I've steered away from those people, and don't socialize with them.
    The best advice is to take the experience and use it to better yourself. I learned to just walk away from people who provide a overall negative social relationship, as what this sounds like with you.
    As far as forgiveness.. I've never gotten any before, I don't expect to. It's something that is usually elusive, and best to just forget them and move on.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by FauxPas View Post
    I'm really not sure what I should do.
    She's toxic. You took the first step in removing her from your life, now the best thing is to try to move on without letting her do any more damage.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by NateSean View Post
    She's toxic. You took the first step in removing her from your life, now the best thing is to try to move on without letting her do any more damage.
    I've never actually had to defriend someone in my life that I've been this close to. Now I kinda get what people who go through break ups go through.

    I'm glad that so far everyone I have asked has given me the same advice so far, that it's best that she is gone. It's slowly making me feel better about having made the right decision.

  5. #5

    Default

    Did she know that you were suffering from depression? If so, then you are most definitely better off without her. You do not suggest suicide to someone who you know may actually act upon it unless you are a sociopath.

    I should also note that despite what many people seem to believe, forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation, and certainly not the same thing as trust. The fact that you no longer hold her actions against her does not mean that you are obliged to associate with her again. At the end of the day, forgiveness is more about you moving on, for the sake of your own welfare, than it is about the person you are forgiving.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Akastus View Post
    Did she know that you were suffering from depression? If so, then you are most definitely better off without her. You do not suggest suicide to someone who you know may actually act upon it unless you are a sociopath.

    I should also note that despite what many people seem to believe, forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation, and certainly not the same thing as trust. The fact that you no longer hold her actions against her does not mean that you are obliged to associate with her again. At the end of the day, forgiveness is more about you moving on, for the sake of your own welfare, than it is about the person you are forgiving.
    She knew, she was the reason I got help in the first place.

    I think what else that is currently pissing me off is that she is committing insurance fraud. She is still collecting money from the accident we were in and is not using it for treatments, I also have a FB message from her that says she's not hurt from the accident and she has been hurt since she was 5.

    Still trying to get this information to the right people.

  7. #7

    Default

    First, I'm glad you're ok, that you didn't follow through on those thoughts; and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. People that are your friends aren't supposed to do you like that.

    Let's push to the side the bit about her committing insurance fraud for now. I would not be surprised if your emotions are still running a bit hot, and I'm not prepared to make value judgments with such little information. Besides that, I'm not thinking it's germane to the topic at hand.

    I'm glad you've also taken steps to at least put some distance between you two. Earlier, you were feeling that perhaps you're meant to "take her back." Perhaps that's true. Perhaps she misspoke. Perhaps you misunderstood her. Perhaps she was joking and misplayed it. Perhaps... Perhaps... Perhaps.

    Or perhaps not. But either way, whether you should take her back or not is not a question you need to answer at this exact time.

    The important bit is that you're ok and that you remain ok. At this time, that means you stay away from her. You keep her off your social media feeds. You worry about you and your health and your way forward. The time you spend worrying about her, whether you acted too hastily in unfriending her, that's time you're not working on getting yourself better and keeping yourself safe. At that point, you're not only letting her live rent-free in your head, you're letting her steal the money out your wallet, too.

    Did you act too hastily? No. You took a decisive move to help keep yourself safe. When dark thoughts are clouding your judgment enough to make you contemplate suicide, any action you take during a moment of lucidity that helps keep you safe is a good and correct action. There's no shame in, there's nothing wrong with what you did. You did the correct thing at the correct time and for the correct reasons.

    Earlier I said that you didn't need to immediately answer the question of whether friendship with her at some point in the future is a worthwhile endeavor, and I'll say that again. Once you've stabilized from these recent events, and further on once you've recovered (as it were), then you can reconsider your previous friendship with her. But, I suspect that by the time that happens, you'll already know you've made the right decision and that there's no need to revisit it.

    It's natural, after something like this, to have a lot of confusion, a lot of emotions to sort through, a lot of What Ifs and Whys running through your head. That's fine and proper and good. Taking the time you need to sort through some of that stuff is also fine and proper and good.

    So please, avail yourself of that time, sort through some of these things, and stay safe.

Similar Threads

  1. Am I confused, or not?
    By Tridim in forum Sissy / Girls
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 30-Nov-2013, 13:57
  2. Confused...
    By Abdlforever in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 13-Sep-2012, 21:17
  3. I'm so confused....
    By CrinkleScarf in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 21-Nov-2010, 06:19
  4. Confused on what to do
    By Yarfiggle in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-Oct-2010, 06:44

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.