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Thread: Is AB/DL the problem?

  1. #1

    Default Is AB/DL the problem?

    Like many of us there have been moments where I have resented wanting to behave like a baby and/or wear diapers. I thought I have arrived at a place where I didn't felt that way, and truth be told I'm ok with being the way I am. The problem is how much does AB/DL means to us, how much it defines us and how much does it occupy our lives.



    Despite wanting to regress to toddler years pretty much since the moment I stopped being one at around 3/4 years old I had never really explored regression and ageplay that much until these last 2 years.

    After the initial desire sparked in my very early childhood, it went dormant for a while until puberty and teenage years where once attached to arousal feelings the focus started shifting from wearing, or rather pretend to wear, diapers to sexually pleasure myself occasionally to pictures and videos of women in diapers and ageplaying.

    Now, ever since I was able to buy diapers among other things 3 years ago, I started exploring more and got deeper in it.

    In the past few days I've been feeling like I'm becoming less obsessed with AB/DL than I have been for the past couple of years since I started wearing, the thing is I didn't think I was that obsessed, maybe sometimes but surely not always.



    Today I had one of those resenting moments. A moment where I wished I didn't had these desires that take time and focus from other objectives and goals in my life, and with it a possible realization that the problem is not that I have these desires but rather that it becomes a problem when it becomes an obsession and also, in my case at least, a big definer of who I am.

    What do you think? I would like to know other opinions.

    In the meantime I want to have a more balanced life, focus more on the many other aspects that defines me and not have AB/DL be the most or one of the most important aspects of who I am, sure it's a part of who I am but I don't want it to be that big of a part as it was starting to become.

  2. #2

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    Is all up to you how you go about life... I could say that it could be that the guilt is getting to you. I could say that you've managed to break the habit(right word for it?).

    I will say that how you treat your little side will also affect your grown up side. I've gone through phases I guess you can call them where I would have plateaus and canyons of emotion regarding this side of me. I would be obsessed and love who I was, then I would just hate and wanted to destroy it. The highs and lows of the binge and purge cycles are more tolerable, the more you accept the little side of you.

    I know that I still haven't come to terms completely and haven't accepted it 100%, but when the guilt and shame comes, and thinking, what the hell am I doing? I look at myself in the mirror, and see something that is ugly. It's hard to see myself in the mirror and continue to regress. I'm 32 years old, I have a beard, starting to develop a few wrinkles, I'm overweight with a gut poking out.

    What I'm trying to say is that the mirror can kind of tarnish things. Not just a physical mirror, but your own mental mirror of how you see yourself. I think it's more of a glass reflection that always stands in front of you. It can affect your life, I can say it has affected mine. I've yet to be in any kind of relationship and afraid to open up to someone. The constant reflection is always the opposite of what you currently are at the moment.

    I've had feelings for people but I worry about my little side. It's kind of hard when you're looking for someone when your looking for someone that has room for both persons that you are.

    If you can go on in life without your little side effecting you, great.

    If you find yourself avoiding, neglecting, and resenting yourself, don't ignore it as it can and will most likely destroy your other side mentally.

    Having this will be an emotional rollercoaster at times. It seems silly sometimes, and weird. You look back of how you've gone through all these events that comes with being like this.

    Things get typically worse after you've had whatever climax it gave to you. After a few minutes, you rip off your diaper, and attire as that reflection rears its ugly head. It goes from being silly, to seeming wrong.

    I don't think any of us understands ourselves because of this. They're is no answer set in stone on why this is what it is.

    The mental image of yourself probably won't leave. It's like going on one of those little rollercoaster things that take you through different haunted scenes, or like Disney's haunted mansion that smells you along a set path to see the different scenes and characters.
    Except the character is on your mind and when you're little, your grown up side is in the reflection, shaming your little side. I think we're usually little most of the time until the climax comes and you grow out of it. This period of time can determine the ugliness you feel against it. Sometimes people get through it quickly, and for some people, it could take a while.

    I've had times when I've wanted nothing to do with this anymore. There's been periods of time that I wouldn't come to ADISC for awhile. I would try and leave everything behind and try to do things I want to do that my little side would get in the way of. Then after a while it would show up again. That one little thing that would just bring everything back to the beginning.

    The cycles vary, but it never goes away. It's just a part of who we are. How you treat it determines the outcomes of how you feel emotionally. Accepting as much as you can doesn't mean indulging necessarily, but not throwing emotional jabs at your little side when you don't want it to come out to play. When you can get to a certain level of acceptance, I believe you can open more doors for yourself and bring your little side along for the ride.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zendot View Post
    In the meantime I want to have a more balanced life, focus more on the many other aspects that defines me and not have AB/DL be the most or one of the most important aspects of who I am, sure it's a part of who I am but I don't want it to be that big of a part as it was starting to become.
    Zen + dodot.... hmmm.

    I love these seemingly simple things, like achieving a more balanced life, because they are so existentially complex. In some ways your life is already a pretty good balance of pleasure and guilt. The nice thing about pleasure and guilt is that they are automatically self balancing for most people. The more pleasure they have the more guilt they have. Perfect balance!

    I don't mean to be flippant. I don't have any real wisdom about life, but I do have a somewhat twisted perspective. Maybe it can help to look at things a little differently.

    Self acceptance is the usual place to start when looking for a more satisfying life. I believe true self acceptance leads to greater peace and acceptance of others. It's only a belief for me because I haven't completely achieved that myself, but there does seem to be some psychological support for this idea. Anyway, can you accept yourself as a person with an unbalanced life? ... no matter what the cause of the unbalance is? Self acceptance can be tricky. You need to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's not about diapers. It's about everything.

    I'm not sure how much zen is in the Zen part of your name but zen sure throws a curveball at this point. What does self acceptance mean if the "self" doesn't exist? I don't have an answer for that but I'm working on it and hope to find it before I die.

    Edit: Just an after thought.
    Does self acceptance mean you stop feeling guilty over your behavior, or does it mean you accept feeling guilty?

    My apologies if this is too crazy to be of any help.
    Last edited by Drifter; 05-Dec-2015 at 20:12.

  4. #4

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    There is a very good thread. I see myself in many ways in these comments.

    Self acceptance is difficult for many people, myself being one of them. If it was easy, we wouldn't have a problem with it. This thread has given me some very good thoughts on what direction I need to consider going. It also gives me peace of mind that I am not the only one with this issue. I am here to learn.

  5. #5

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    It took me years to find out this truth, Its that who gives a fuck about what others/society thinks. Im going to do what makes ME happy. Cant even explain how life changing that statement is.

  6. #6

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    Well, talking about my experience...
    I wear them at home secretly because I'm afraid of society, buying them is a bit difficult sometimes and adult diapers (Abri Forms) I have to order because I just can't find them here...
    If you look at a supermarket, you can see that this love with diapers and regressing in time s still something not accepted... The diaper isle of baby diapers has lots of brands being sold, lots of variety... but the adult diaper isle lacks of variety... If you compare someone who smokes and someone who likes to wear diapers you will find that both do it because they like it, but one is still accepted in society, although it kills the ones around them (smokers) and the other one, which does not kill anyone is still not acceptable...
    If you start to feel like you can do something else with your life than wearing diapers and regressing, you can do it, but if it's something you like to do but feel like rejected from those surrounding you, it's something you need to be prepared to handle, you cannot give up on something just because someone finds it weird or doesn't like it...
    In the end of the day I find that wearing diapers helps me relaxing and if someone finds out about it, I will explain them why and hope they understand...

  7. #7

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    There is alot of good advice on this thread that I certainly could never have thought of. Though whenever I go through these cycles, or whatever I try to remember two things. 1: at the end of the day you are the only person you have to live with, so make decisions that you can live with. 2: I will probably come back to this so I shouldn't get rid of every trace of this even though I want to. Hope this helps. Good luck.

  8. #8

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    I've been meaning to reply for a couple of days but had to find time first.





    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    How you treat it determines the outcomes of how you feel emotionally. Accepting as much as you can doesn't mean indulging necessarily, but not throwing emotional jabs at your little side when you don't want it to come out to play.
    I read all your post but chose to highlight this part. In a way we are very similar, our age is similar although I'm a bit younger but I know how you feel about the relationships part as I'm in a similar situation too. What I'm quoting is what I was trying to get at with my post, I accept who I am but sometimes I can loose control a bit or perspective and indulge too much which in turn might make me resent being this way even though that is not the problem. Which is what I realize now and what made me write this post.





    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    The nice thing about pleasure and guilt is that they are automatically self balancing for most people. The more pleasure they have the more guilt they have. Perfect balance!

    Anyway, can you accept yourself as a person with an unbalanced life? ... no matter what the cause of the unbalance is? Self acceptance can be tricky. You need to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's not about diapers. It's about everything.

    I'm not sure how much zen is in the Zen part of your name but zen sure throws a curveball at this point. What does self acceptance mean if the "self" doesn't exist? I don't have an answer for that but I'm working on it and hope to find it before I die.

    Edit: Just an after thought.
    Does self acceptance mean you stop feeling guilty over your behavior, or does it mean you accept feeling guilty?

    My apologies if this is too crazy to be of any help.
    It's ok no worries Well as you could tell I'm into Buddhism, I'm no expert by any stretch however, all I know is from reading on the internet and books and praticing meditation and so on. And all this just somewhat recently, so I'm still fairly new to it.

    First I don't think the example you give is of balance but rather two extremes. Balance would be something in between those two extremes.

    Second, you're right about the self-acceptance not being easy and including every part of oneself, even the ugly bits that most of the time we don't want to aknowledge.

    And finally to answer your question. From what I'm able to understand the no-self means that there isn't a continuation of the self or that a soul exists, unlike what most religions including hinduism (the sucessor to the religion that existed in India during the time that the Buddha lived) believe, rather that what we are at this moment is a combination of different factors. So we can say that there is a self but not the way we tend to think, every being and phenomena is like a wave that manifests itself as a wave and then crashes on the beach and there's no wave anymore, but it's still there on the ocean, in fact it never ceased to be the ocean even as a wave. This example is used often and I think it illustrates it quite well. So you can accept your self even if you subscribe to the no-self idea or theory, I don't exactly what I should call it though.

    Also, I used the word Zen mostly because it just sounds cool to me.





    Quote Originally Posted by Moonshot View Post
    There is a very good thread. I see myself in many ways in these comments.

    Self acceptance is difficult for many people, myself being one of them. If it was easy, we wouldn't have a problem with it. This thread has given me some very good thoughts on what direction I need to consider going. It also gives me peace of mind that I am not the only one with this issue. I am here to learn.
    Thank you. This is one of the reasons why decided to write this post.






    I would also like to add that, what I think works for me might not necessarily work for you, I'm speaking in general not to someone in specific

    The reason I say this is because I realized that there is a lot of diversity amongst us. For example I read a lot about how for some people AB/DL works as a stress relief or coping mechanism or it's a rooted part of their character and they feel more like their little side and less like an adult. For me however AB/DL is more like a pleisure activity, a hobby if you will, something like playing a videogame, reading a book or watching a movie. That is why if I go 24/7 on this it starts to be overwhelming and unhealthy... for me, it might not be the case for you.

  9. #9

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    Maybe we should all try not to get too far into it, I think if you go too far into little-space your thought patterns and pleasure associations become different from the rest of society and it makes it difficult to interact with others. You start to value privacy and alone time too much and can distance yourself from your social group. No-one wants to get to 40 years old and be alone just wearing a diaper.
    This is just something I worry about sometimes. ABDL can evidently get creepy if you're not careful, and aging happens all too quickly.

    Self acceptance is great and often mentioned, I think also opening up to others and integrating these feelings into everyday life to fulfill ABDL needs is also important and worth a quick mention.

  10. #10

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    I'm not see be AB or DL as a problem. It'd turn into if it's some kind of obsesion and social issues are very... terriblo to resolve in some +/- good way.

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