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Thread: My boyfriend broke up with me because I am abdl

  1. #1

    Default My boyfriend broke up with me because I am abdl

    I actually told my boyfriend that I was an abdl almost four months ago and at first he seemed alright with it. We never really talked about it cause I wasn't asking him to be involved, but he started getting really squirrelly about anything 'related' to the topic. And by 'related' I mean talking about children, walking past the baby section at the store, talking fake baby talk to me even though I had asked him to stop before I told him as well as after. He seemed to be avoiding anything that made me 'less than my age', but he didn't tell me anything until he actually broke up with me a week ago.

    When he actually broke up with me, he told me he had gone into my closet and found my diapers and that freaked him out, but still tried to insisted on the 'it's not you it's me' thing. I don't know how to process this and was wondering if anyone had any advice. Thank you

  2. #2

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    I'm so sorry for pain you must be in. He couldn't have been right for you if he failed understand this part of you. Remember if you to be truly happy, you shouldn't have to hide or suppress a part of yourself. They will be someone who will understand and love you. Don't let this break you. Relax enjoy yourself a little and try not to dwell on broken heart. If it does happen to get to difficult to fight it, cry it out. It's better to let it out than to allow it to destroy you. We're here if you need help recovering. I say this having not been in a relationship myself, but understand the feelings of a broken heart.

  3. #3

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    I'm really sorry that happened to you. You can be rest assured though that you're not alone here, I'm sure many of us have had to go through similar experiences with significant others not understanding/accepting our ABDL sides. I've had to go through that, and it's not easy.

    When I was with my girlfriend at the time, I had told her and like in your situation, she seemed alright with it at first. Didn't get involved with it, but didn't freak out either. Then as time went on, she too started acting more and more strange. While she never found my stash, she eventually confessed that she wasn't comfortable dating someone who still "had an urge to wear diapers" (despite me never wearing them around her once, or even mentioning them again after the initial conversation). She too tried the "it's not you, it's me" thing, but of course, it is what it is.

    I wish I had some great advice to give you, but I really don't think I can say anything that you wouldn't hear a hundred times after any other breakup. I can say though, while it's very sad and hard to go through now, you will find someone who not only "tolerates" your ABDL side, but embraces it and loves you for it. And it will be the best feeling in the world. That's something to look forward to! You're not alone, so never feel that you have to go through a tough situation by yourself!

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mandychan View Post
    I actually told my boyfriend that I was an abdl almost four months ago and at first he seemed alright with it. We never really talked about it cause I wasn't asking him to be involved, but he started getting really squirrelly about anything 'related' to the topic. And by 'related' I mean talking about children, walking past the baby section at the store, talking fake baby talk to me even though I had asked him to stop before I told him as well as after. He seemed to be avoiding anything that made me 'less than my age', but he didn't tell me anything until he actually broke up with me a week ago.

    When he actually broke up with me, he told me he had gone into my closet and found my diapers and that freaked him out, but still tried to insisted on the 'it's not you it's me' thing. I don't know how to process this and was wondering if anyone had any advice. Thank you
    I'm sorry that your boyfriend broke up with you. Breakups can be very destructive, emotionally. I went through one when I first started college, and then again the beginning of my sophomore year. It was worse the second time as I did a lot of self destructive things, allowing myself to be used by others.

    I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that it's better that you were honest with him, and that you at least found out that he can't handle it. Of course, sometimes people use something like this because they wanted to break up anyway, and so it becomes an easy excuse. If that's not the case, it's possible he might reconsider, but I wouldn't hold out for that.

    My feeling is that the only cure for a breakup is to eventually find someone else. Life does go on, and really, it has to go on. All we can do is make the best of it, find things to do so that we stay busy and our mind stays occupied. Sometimes it's an unwanted opportunity to get a lot of things accomplished. I was a performing musician/student at the time, so I was practicing 4 hours a day, plus doing all the rest of my school work. Just remember, he is not the only fish in the sea, and probably not the best fish either.

  5. #5

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    One thing I forgot to mention was that he tried to out me to my family and friends. I never felt that this was something anyone, but my significant other needed to know about. I managed to put it back on him, but it was close. I'm no longer heartbroken over him, but it still hurts because someone so close to me betrayed and right now I'm scared I can never trust someone with this again.

  6. #6

  7. #7

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    I would be totally accepting of someone being AB/DL. In fact If I ever search for some one; AB/DL Diapers stuffed animals etc.. will come up quick, If they are evasive or don't say "COOL I want to as well" then I don't think It'l work. A good relationship needs to be at least one of accepting eachother for who they are, give and take.
    Don't feel too bad about it. There is some one better out there who will accept it and it will be much better.

  8. #8

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    Yeah, I know. Thank you for your replies. I just really wish that not only I was ready for another relationship right now, but that the next guy I date would be a Daddy. I don't want to imagine dating someone not part of the abdl community right now. I will probably change my mind later, but that's how I feel right now.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mandychan View Post
    One thing I forgot to mention was that he tried to out me to my family and friends. I never felt that this was something anyone, but my significant other needed to know about. I managed to put it back on him, but it was close. I'm no longer heartbroken over him, but it still hurts because someone so close to me betrayed and right now I'm scared I can never trust someone with this again.
    That's horrid and (IMO) shows that he's not someone anyone should trust or be with for a long time.

    I'm sorry for your pain. Hopefully you will find someone who loves you for who you are

  10. #10

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    Breakups are never easy for anyone involved and it's unfortunate that it ended that way. If anything it was for the best though from the sounds of it. Going through your stuff and then trying to oust you, that's just messed up and if that's the sort of person he was then it sounds like you're better off without him. Recovering from this will take time and opening up and trusting others isn't always easy and will always has some risk.

    In time though, you should start to feel better and now you have an opportunity to find someone even better and more deserving of a relationship with you. Good luck with it

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