Leaving to college?

for those of us in the world of elevated academia, most of us, me included, will be ending our summer vacations returning to college this week. For many of us, this is a wonderful time, a new world and the chance to leave home and explore and see what's out there and what one wants to be. However, for some of us, it's our return, our second year or second semester. I am about to return to rural New York and be stuck in the middle of nowhere for the next five months, and I feel really hesitant to leave. Last time, I was overjoyed to leave (who wouldn't jump at a chance to leave home for a while?) but I didn't realize how good I have it back at home till this summer, having spent a month in knoxville and the remainder of it here in the South Bay (ca) I don't want to leave. I have many reasons to leave again, and I'm very popular at my tiny Christian college, and I'm away from my father, but there's so many reasons to stay, like my good friends and my job prospects and my family and lifestyle, I'm going to miss it a lot more this time. I guess my point is in conflicted, has anyone else felt such internal conflicts? College life is so hard and weird and emotional.

I'm starting my first day of college ever tomorrow at 9:30am. So I get where you're coming from. This has always been the goal and the dream (at least that's what everyone's always told me) and I've been ready to go since the start of my senior year of high school all the way up until about a week ago. Now I'm completely doubting whether it's worth it, whether I can do it, whether I'll be able to get a job in my field and all that crap. I guess after finishing 4 terrible years of high school, The prospect of 4 more years of even harder school doesn't sound very appealing. Then again, my family is broke so I'm only going to community college for the first 2 years and my transfer university is only 20 minutes away so I'll be living at home the whole time. I can't exactly relate to the real "college experience". I'm glad you made this thread cause I was about to make the exact same one.

I for one am quite envious of those starting their first day of classes. Meanwhile I am here having just finished and trying to find a full time job.

Maxx said:

I always found it a relief to go back, because I worked absurd hours over the summer in order to afford it.

I don't know if that's the case any more since all the well meaning busybodies have dorked up wage and hour laws to the point where kids can't do that as easily.

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I attribute it more to skyrocketing tuition costs more than labor laws, as there is simply no way anymore for a college student to make enough during the summer to be able to afford tuition. In my case, tuition was a good $30-40k, no way a student is going to make that much during the summer.

I found the major wierdness was going back home after graduation. It was like a giant void for a couple months until I found a fulltime job.

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I am in the same boat as you were, recently graduated but have not found a full time job yet. It feels like a giant emptiness in me, as I have nothing else to do but sit here and apply for jobs.

Maxx said:

I found the major wierdness was going back home after graduation. It was like a giant void for a couple months until I found a fulltime job.

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This _entirely_. I also did the whole 2 jobs through summer and part time through school thing. The time I was unemployed afterwards was absolutely brutal. The escalating fear that I wouldn't find anything combined with going from zero free time to basically all the free time and no structure at all not to mention no income (though near the end I debated getting a part time job to "hold me over") was weird.

I'm usually someone that really dives into problems until they are fixed, but job hunting is really a wait and see thing, especially when you're looking in a specific field in an area with not too many options. I couldn't force people to call me back and I couldn't invent jobs, and I didn't want to leave my geographical area... so there was nothing to do but apply and wait. I had more free time available than I have had since, but couldn't enjoy it at all.

Of course everything worked out, I landed a good job, then a better job, and things have been solid since.

I might have the same issue if I do go to uni when I leave school. I've always been pretty attached to my parents even though I don't like them lots of the time. I've never really wanted to go but everyone in my school and my parents always make you feel like you're not good enough for them if you don't go.