Leaked at a friend's house, need advice

Today I was over at a friend's house for our weekly D&D session and I was wearing because I don't like interrupting the flow of the session with restroom breaks.

I was consciously avoiding flooding the m4 I was wearing and didn't think to bring a change, and when I got up to leave I found a wet spot. I have no idea if anyone noticed, I drank a lot of water today so I don't think it smelled, but I'm worried that someone did and that I'll have to find some explanation for it the next time I see them. I'm a bit anxious about this so I'm looking for some advice on how to diffuse the situation if need be.

I can't offer much advice to your current situation, but I've found that when I have the rare leak, I usually just say something like, "why is my butt wet? Did I sit in something?" Happened last weekend at a friend-of-a-friend's house. We were partying in the garage, so the plausibility of spilled booze etc., was high. I even had to discreetly tell my girlfriend that it was actually from my diaper leaking, and she knew I was wearing since she watched me diaper myself.

IMHO if you act like it's a weird occurrence but no big deal, you don't even need to offer an explanation. People will fill in the details with whatever springs to mind first, and I nearly guarantee you that they won't assume diapers in most situations.

Best of luck! Big hugs, buddy.

Don't worry leaks happen, no one probably noticed or some one would have said something, always wear darker pants its harder to see any wet spots. Also try dry 24/7's I find they fit me better in a medium then the Abena level 4 mediums which run a bit small for me,

I have had leaks with the Abenas more then the dry 24/7's I now wear the Dry 24/7's 24/7

sitting is always more of a risk, no matter how good the diaper. don't push it with them

They may have found it more strange that you never got up to go to the bathroom the whole time! :sweatdrop:

Blame the dog. Seriously, don't worry about it unless someone mentions it. If they do, tell them you have a "little problem" from time to time, apologize and tell them you will pay for the clean up if there was one. Question: Was there a wet spot on your pants?

Note said:

Please don't encourage bad behavior, people, Christ, this culture gets a bad enough rep as it is. He really shouldn't be wearing in a non ABDL friendly environment in the first place. It's not like he's incontinent (according to his info-pan) or anything so he really doesn't have that excuse.

My advice: drink less, make use of the bathroom. If you really have to wear, turn up in a clean one and don't drink so much; plastic pants wouldn't hurt, either...

Click to expand...

I have to echo this. I mean, wouldn't the flow of your session be interrupted anyway by other players going to the restroom?

I know I couldn't relax if I'm worried about peeing to much, too fast and drinking one glass too many to see the end of the session.

For the issue on hand just assume no one noticed, but ask yourself if that's really worth it

Yeah it probably isn't worth it. No one said anything to me so I think I got worked up over nothing. Thanks for the advice guys!

Note said:

Please don't encourage bad behavior, people, Christ, this culture gets a bad enough rep as it is. He really shouldn't be wearing in a non ABDL friendly environment in the first place. It's not like he's incontinent (according to his info-pan) or anything so he really doesn't have that excuse.

My advice: drink less, make use of the bathroom. If you really have to wear, turn up in a clean one and don't drink so much; plastic pants wouldn't hurt, either...

Click to expand...

I don't see wearing responsibly as requiring an excuse. It's not hard to manage wearing in public if you're mindful of the product you're using and your own capacities. We should be encouraging that responsible use if someone is wearing in public but it's really not a big deal.

Note said:

Please don't encourage bad behavior, people, Christ, this culture gets a bad enough rep as it is. He really shouldn't be wearing in a non ABDL friendly environment in the first place. It's not like he's incontinent (according to his info-pan) or anything so he really doesn't have that excuse.

My advice: drink less, make use of the bathroom. If you really have to wear, turn up in a clean one and don't drink so much; plastic pants wouldn't hurt, either...

Click to expand...

If he wants to wear a diaper around his friends then let him. There's nothing wrong with it, yes, even though he's not IC.

Note said:

Are you two familiar what the phrase "just because you can, doesn't mean you should?" Albeit for me to not say anything at all, when incidences like this happen in a non ABDL friendly environment it's almost like forcing your fetish upon someone, and he doesn't have the IC excuse to fall back on, doesn't this culture receive enough flack as it is? This could have all been easily avoided, one less awkward situation to worry about with better planning.

Click to expand...

I think you're giving this too much significance. It is not that hard to manage wearing diapers in public. It's not forcing a fetish on anyone, at least not until I pull down my pants and waggle my butt in their face. Not taking proper care is a concern and should be addressed in a reasonable manner but that doesn't mean one has to live in fear of the possibility of a mishap. It is a manageable risk and reasonable people can decide for themselves if it's worth it. If you choose to take on the burden of our irresponsible actions (as you see them), that's your choice.

That's far from forcing, Note. I doubt he was trying to get everybody else in that group to "just try it once it won't hurt".

Wearing a diaper is no different than wearing a sexy thong. My wife wears sexy underwear around friends and strangers because, for her, it's hot. For me, too! The only way she would offend is if she showed them and announced how fun and hot it is to do it. Which she doesn't. It's simply nobody's business. I wear diapers in public, around friends all the time. Like my wife, I feel hot, sexy and confident doing so. And that's fine. What isn't fine, if anything (I don't see the issue...it's 2015, folks,) is the leaking. So, being an over the hill father of 2, I'll give op the same advice I'd give my boys if it applied: Wear what you want, but make sure you don't leak-that's a good way to not make friends. Get some cute plastic pants, dude. Then have at 'er. For this specific situation, I'd recommend Garywear.

Note said:

It's not forcing it on anyone until it become an issue for others, which is clearly what the OP has done here with his friend. And so far, the support I have seen about the issue is to encourage bad behaviour, by lying to his friend about what has happened. To me, that's not offering good support, and then we wonder why anything good from this culture happens at a snails pace. Now I'm not saying that the OP should commit potential social suicide by flat out telling the truth, what I am saying is that the issue easily could have been avoided with better preparation, most of which I highlighted in my first post.

For what it's worth I am not trying to come across as insensitive here, just offering the perspective that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. You know, know your limits and the differences in extremes with certain situations.



Almost like forcing, not forcing. For the sake of argument let's say, inconveniencing others, which is clearly what the OP has done here with his friend.

Click to expand...

Wait, wait hang on, Note. The OP messed up. He knows that already as does everyone else. The first thing is dealing with the wet spot. But honestly, confessing about wearing diapers can be very embarrassing and could, depending on the friends and their attitudes, actually be disruptive to the group and cause bad relations. Especially if the confession isn't just "I wear diapers sometimes" but also "and I leaked on your seat, sorry about ruining your stuff." It probably is better for the OP to say nothing and let the incident pass, since the odds-on bet will just be that someone assumes something was spilled on the chair and nobody will ever care again. If the OP feels guilty, he could consider apologizing about getting the chair wet (in vague terms) and offering to pay for the upholstery if it needs to be changed. But that is iffy and I could see advising against it too.

Regardless of all that, the fact that the OP messed up doesn't mean that he should never ever wear diapers in public again. Or that others should avoid wearing diapers in public, either. It's a good lesson for everyone who does wear diapers that it's important to manage them properly so as to avoid revealing yourself or hurting other people's property. And that's where the advice has primarily been aimed.

So, again, lesson here is be more careful, bring a diaper change, don't wet to capacity. The lesson is NOT that messing up once means that one can never do something again. That's not how life works.

Note said:

Maybe not enough significance? It's not forcing it on anyone until it become an issue for others, which is clearly what the OP has done here with his friend. And so far, the support I have seen about the issue is to encourage bad behaviour, by lying to his friend about what has happened. To me, that's not offering good support, and then we wonder why any good that comes from this culture happens at a snails pace. Now I'm not saying that the OP should commit potential social suicide by flat out telling the truth, what I am saying is that the issue easily could have been avoided with better preparation, most of which I highlighted in my first post.

For what it's worth I am not trying to come across as insensitive here, just offering the perspective that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. You know, know your limits and the differences in extremes with certain situations.

Almost like forcing, not forcing. For the sake of argument let's say, inconveniencing others, which is clearly what the OP has done here with his friend.

Click to expand...

I think we can address the question of what kind of support people are getting or what should be done in this particular case separately from whether or not one should ever wear diapers outside of the home or an ABDL event/meeting. It's your latter comments that got my attention because I don't see much to be done on this one after the fact other than take it as a lesson and don't screw up again. It's rude and gross and not the sort of behavior that most people like in their guests. There's no call for lying but I think for the most part the action itself, while gross, doesn't seem so bad (small leak, heavily diluted). If it had been me, I'd have claimed to have spilled something and done some clean-up but that ship has sailed.

If responsibly acting to prevent this means not wearing outside the aforementioned events because a person can't reasonably manage it, that's fine. I just can't agree with a blanket condemnation of the activity on the face of it, and I wouldn't say it's just because I've been doing 24/7 for several months now.