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Thread: Just told my boyfriend I'm an ABDL

  1. #1

    Default Just told my boyfriend I'm an ABDL

    A few days ago, I told my boyfriend of about a year that I am an ABDL. He was fine with it, but very quickly said he didn't want to participate and didn't want me doing anything around him. He implied to not even talk about it and now I'm confused. It seems only thing that changed was now he knows. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly relieved that he accepted this fact about me, but it feels like nothing changed. I still feel like I'm hiding something. I don't want him to participate if he doesn't want to, but to not even discuss it at all seems counter productive. Am I just reading too much into it? Or am I just being selfish? I think it's the second one.

  2. #2

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    I think I jumped the gun with this post. I was just being selfish and I'm sorry. If my boyfriend doesn't want to discuss it then I should respect his wish. Thank you for anyone who viewed this post and I'm sorry for bothering everyone.

  3. #3

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    Actually i dont really agree with you on that Mandy :-) Indeed, you need to respect one anothers wishes and wants. However, i think that a part of accepting these sides, is discussing and talking about it. Its not something you can just forget about right?

    I would be selfish if you'd expect him to participate. But you dont! You do however have a wish to talk to him about it, and i think he should respect that aswell :-)

    But maybe in time?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by CptMartins View Post
    Actually i dont really agree with you on that Mandy :-) Indeed, you need to respect one anothers wishes and wants. However, i think that a part of accepting these sides, is discussing and talking about it. Its not something you can just forget about right?

    I would be selfish if you'd expect him to participate. But you dont! You do however have a wish to talk to him about it, and i think he should respect that aswell :-)

    But maybe in time?
    Mandy were is the support of you .
    That seems very one sided you should be able to discuss your feelings and stuff that goes on in your mind that's part of a relationship.
    Yes if he doesn't want to participate that's fine and yes it's probably a little bit uncomfortable for him.
    But still in a relationship you work together my girlfriend and I we discuss it she doesn't have a problem we share things with each other.
    Now she doesn't participate but she understands it's a part of me and by golly she even will go out and buy diapers for me if I need them.
    She,s very supportive of me and their time she even thinks I'm cute my little outfits lol.
    This it's kind of a shock so I give it a little time letting him process.

  5. #5

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    Quote of this thread "This it's kind of a shock so I give it a little time letting him process". is spot on

    Give it some time and try to have a conversation about it again. Tell him that you are a bit confused about his reaction and ask how he feels about now after some time to consider it.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharanu View Post
    Quote of this thread "This it's kind of a shock so I give it a little time letting him process". is spot on

    Give it some time and try to have a conversation about it again. Tell him that you are a bit confused about his reaction and ask how he feels about now after some time to consider it.
    This is what I was going to say. You've hit him with something that comes from outside the norm. It takes time to process this sort of thing. When I told my wife, she was very supportive, but she didn't participate. But over the years, she plays along with me being her little baby. Just give him some time and see where it goes. I also agree with foxkits that he needs to support you at least at some level. After all, that's what a relationship is all about.

  7. #7

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    My boyfriend is actually very supportive most of the time. Maybe this is something he feels doesn't need discussing. He's always there for me and to ask him to talk about something that clearly makes him uncomfortable, even after he says he doesn't think any differently about me seems selfish. Like I'm trying to force him to be ok with something he doesn't like. I love him and I don't want to make him upset. I know I sound immature, sorry. You can ignore this post, I just felt I needed to post something. Thank you for your posts and advice.

  8. #8

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    I think I should mention Mandychan that a relationship is a 2-way street. You see when you have a significant other in any relationship both participants for that relationship to work have to live with everything about the other for that relationship to be healthy. This means taking the good with the bad in a person. You are a AB/DL and that is a part of who and what you are most likely. This is not something that can necessarily just never get talked about because it's not healthy to you as a person. This will take time and I think your boyfriend will come to understand you better though. I would simply make it clear to him at every opportunity that being a AB/DL is not going to stop even if you want it to stop though. Chances are he's just in shock and will slowly warm up to the idea eventually. Just take your time with this and I think things will turn out alright for you both.

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