Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Looking for input on coming out

  1. #1

    Default Looking for input on coming out

    Here's my situation: For the summer, I'm on the other side of the country for an internship, sharing an apartment with two other people who I've also been friends with for a while, one of whom I'm in the same room with. We work the same hours so we're home at the same time and generally speaking that's fine because he's a great guy and I enjoy spending time with him. I can't wear because there's literally no way I could hide it with the living arrangements we have. He knows I'm gay, the other person we're living with is transgender (she has her own room), and overall I very much doubt that he would have any sort of problem with it if I were to tell him. Hell, we've even joked about various fetishes and wearing diapers on a few occasions (I wouldn't be terribly surprised if he had some "tendencies" of his own). I've gotten to where I am seriously considering telling him, to the point where I actually have an unsent message sitting in a chat window to him saying I want to talk to him about something (he's away until tomorrow). I don't want any involvement from him, I have no fantasies of that (the thought of it actually makes me cringe). Having him know just means I would likely be able to wear at least at some points through the rest of the summer.

    If I were home with my partner and I felt strongly about telling our other two housemates (not the same people I'm living with here) I likely just would, because I diaper up pretty regularly and so my feelings are more in balance. In all honesty I'd like to eventually just come out in some fashion to my circle of friends so I can wear (discreetly, I'm not in any way an exhibitionist) and not need to worry about them accidentally finding out, but that's probably a ways off for me. The feeling here is that I can have some opportunity to wear over the remainder of the summer, and that I can start on being less afraid of coming out and being found out.

    The thing is, and the reason I'm looking for some thoughts, is that it's been a while since I've been able to wear, coming off of padding up pretty regularly so as far as diapers are concerned I'm fully aware that I'm not totally in balance emotionally. I need some sober input, even if it just bounces back some of my thoughts at me in a different light.

  2. #2


    I feel that now may not be the best time to consider sharing the secret. You are about to be on the other side of the country sharing a room with a friend in an internship for the rest of the summer. Right now, I feel that making the internship and room situation work should be top priorities. You are not even there yet.

    Ordinarily, my advice would weigh the pros and cons, give you things to consider, and leave the decision to you. This is a special case. Instead of yes or no, I am going to suggest a third option: hold off. I feel that you should at least start the internship and see how things really are before doing anything. How much free time will you have? How much personal time will you have? Will this be something you can enjoy in that environment? If it not something reasonable for the time, starting off with revealing the secret may make things awkward without any gain.

    Another thing to consider is the internship. You will want to complete it. Chat logs could be used to discredit your reputation. Talk could start things oddly. Start the internship fresh and clean. Once you have started, they will know you. At that point, replacing you will be less likely. This is not doubting your friendship; it is risk avoidance. Why allow a remote possibility to happen if waiting could have eliminated it entirely.

    I feel that after you have been in the internship a week it would be time to reconsider coming out to your friend. Then, you will know more about the environment and your friends. Still, the priority should be the internship and room situation. Enjoy your summer.

  3. #3


    Maybe you can tell them by default such as just leaving some bag of depends or something out and if there is a negative reaction you can just say somehow you got somebody else's bag at the store or if its positive or neutral take ownership of them and say "by God there's a reason these came home with me so I'm gonna wear them!

  4. #4


    We've been out here about a month at this point, so we're pretty much settled in. Since this is temporary there's also the "just wait it out" possibility although that can be tough. I've lived with the friend I'm sharing a room with before and just waited it out but that was pretty rough and not really something I want to repeat. It's survivable though.

    Coming out by default is something I prefer to avoid. Since I trust him and we've been friends for a few years I can at least give him the respect of talking to him honestly about it if I do choose to come out.

    Unfortunately telling people is really rough for me, so the fact that I'm actually considering it is a pretty big deal. That said, I realize that doesn't necessarily make it the right decision for right now since I've got it all on my mind more than usual.

  5. #5


    I tend to side with Jeremiah simply because this is a job situation, and one is expected to be professional. I don't think I would risk not only my job security, but having things said on social media. But that's just my opinion. I don't know your work friend and you do.

  6. #6


    We're friends from school going back a few years. We happened to take jobs at the same company, realized afterwards and said "well hey let's move in together for the summer." We did the same thing last summer as well, though completely by accident for that one. We've known each other personally for a few years prior to that though. If he were just a work friend I would just put it to rest and not say anything. But, since he isn't I'm entertaining the possibility.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by nsquared View Post
    We're friends from school going back a few years. We happened to take jobs at the same company, realized afterwards and said "well hey let's move in together for the summer."
    Seeing how you both a history together and you seem to be close friends.
    After all he has no problems sharing a bedroom with his gay friend right?
    And you are both sharing an apartment with a Transgirl friend and that doesn't seem to phase him either.

    So, I would say given all that, that he sounds like a very nice, open minded and accepting person that will not have a problem with you discreetly wearing diapers.

    You say you have also been friends with your female roommate too? How long have both of you known her?
    Are you considering possibly telling her as well?

    It not important, but I was curious as too how old all of you are, if you don't mind telling?

  8. #8


    I really highly doubt he'd have any sort of problem with it. I actually wouldn't be terribly surprised if he had some "tendencies" of his own given some of the conversations we've had. I'm just trying to get some sober input if you will, because on one hand telling him would be a huge personal step for me but I'm also worried that I'm trying to justify away telling him something that he doesn't really need to know for the ability to indulge myself. I really could probably just wait it out, but given the situation I don't necessarily think it's worth the anguish of doing that.

    I wasn't planning on telling our other roommate. I've known her for a little less time (still from school though), and it's not something she would accidentally walk in on since she's in a room on the other side of the apartment. She holes up in her room a lot when we're here so we don't see too much of her at home (our theory is that she's a superhero and spends her evenings and weekends out fighting crime).

    The three of us are in college. My roommate and I graduate this upcoming year, and our other apartment-mate still has a couple years to go.

  9. #9


    My advice: no, you do not need to come out about your fetish to anyone that it doesn't apply to. Your partner, sure, but no one else needs to know about it. Your roommates don't need to know anything about your fetish just like you don't need to know about their chains and whips fetish (speaking metaphorically of course). ABDL is a personal thing, better to keep it that way.

  10. #10


    I had pointed out to me today that it depends on what light you see things in. There are definitely aspects that should stay between just you and your partner (nobody other than my partner and I needs to know he changes my diapers, for example).

    Otherwise though, if you see the rest of it, the non TMI parts if you will as a lifestyle - which to some people it is - then being out in some fashion isn't really that odd. That just amounts to something like oh yeah I wear diapers sometimes, where you're being discreet but you can discuss it and if a diaper falls out of your bag then there's no being found out.

    Just kind of an interesting way of seeing it I thought.

Similar Threads

  1. A little input on diapers please?
    By DLchao in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-Jan-2014, 12:14
  2. Need Some Input on This
    By diaperedteenager in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 17-Feb-2013, 03:08
  3. Looking for ya'lls input
    By Jameslouisiana in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 15-Oct-2011, 10:30
  4. Your input requested
    By kevindhca in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 19-Apr-2010, 04:43
  5. Looking for input on three different options
    By Technologic in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-Apr-2009, 20:29

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.