Update time!
So things are going swell (pun intended). Way better than I even hoped for!
First of all, I told her about this forum and this thread, and she was really glad and appreciative of the support and encouragement you folks have given us.
Last week, we went out to a cultural festival with her family and I told her I was diapered (Wellness Briefs I got from Northshore Care, which so far are great!) before we left. She was clearly excited for me. As these events usually are, there was a fair amount of drinking involved, which always "turns on the faucet" for me more than usual, and every time I wet, I gave her a little wink and nod and she started giggling and/or looking at me with bedroom eyes
. At one point, she even said she was jealous that I didn't have to stop for potty breaks and remarked about how convenient it must be. It was a great time, even though I think I may have been showing when we sat front row for the fireworks display. Whoops! I learned my lesson to not wear looser underwear over plastic-back diapers
About a month ago, I got my first shipment from Northshore, in which they included free samples of their in-house plastic-back diapers. I left the 2 large ones (she is a pear-shape build) at her house for her to try on her own if the curiosity urge stuck. Apparently it did! She certainly didn't feel that overwhelming rush that us hardwired DLs feel when we first start to indulge, but she also didn't react badly at all. I think in all probability, the diapers I left her were too big and she has no experience with diapering herself, so she was pretty nervous about wetting in bed. But with the way things are going, she may let me give her instructions or even do it for her, just to show her how it's supposed to feel. I don't think either of us are all that interested in diapering and changing each other for erotic reasons. She always seems to stop and watch me when I diaper myself before bed, and I am still working on feeling comfy doing it with her watching. Strangely, I still feel really hesitant about wetting in bed or wearing a wet diaper in my sleep when I sleep over at her house. It still feels like a very private thing, and it's gonna take some exploring to figure out if/why it's an issue.
I also told her about my minor AB side. That was a bit more confusing or shocking for her, but she didn't dismiss it or react badly. At this point, I'm gonna let that part stay unseen. Even the most open person needs to catch their breath when their partner lays this out like I have, and I can really respect that. Any time I message her about diapers and DL stuff, I make sure to remind her that she has the right (and maybe even responsibility) to tell me if I'm going too far, over sharing, or what have you. So far she seems interested and engaged, but I urge everyone who decides to come out to their partner to keep that dialogue going and make sure they are comfy with the level and manor of diaper discussion. Interestingly, neither of us like the word "diaper". We tend to use words like "padding/padded" or "pull-ups" (when im wearing pullups) or "wearing" or "supplies" to talk about it, mostly out of embarrassment or shyness, which I think is interesting. Maybe that might be useful to other ABDLs whose partners are aware and supportive. Words like "diaper" or "nappy" still have a babyish connotation and for a lot of us, getting around those words and their infantile or geriatric implications might help recontextualize the act of wearing and using them in a way that is more comfortable for everyone, especially the non-DL partner.
Thanks again for reading and responding! I hope my blossoming success story gives some hope, reassurance, and advice to those of you who want to open up to their partners or other loved ones about this side of themselves.
I'll keep updating as time goes on. I'd like to see this thread stay open. If there are any members who would like to chat more about the topic of telling a SO, feel free to post here until I have PM privileges.
