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Thread: New to ABDL

  1. #1

    Default New to ABDL

    Hello everyone. I recently started dating this guy who is into ABDL. I have tried doing lots of research online but I haven't really found much information on the type he's into. Most of the information I am finding are guys as the adult baby. Here is a little information on my situation.

    He wants me to be the adult baby, so for me to wear a diaper and be little and he wants to take care of me. He wants to baby me, he in the role as "daddy" and I in the role of being his little girl. Most research I've read on this is for comfort reasons, I haven't really found anything about it being sexual. He is into it for being sexual, it turns him on a lot.

    I don't really have a specific question, I am just looking for more information regarding this type of role play. Any advice/information will be appreciated. I have zero experience and no nothing about this form of role play! Thank you!

  2. #2

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    I've seen other members with this flavor of ABDL from time to time. It always struck me as a tough row to hoe, needing the participation of someone who wasn't necessarily into it to be fulfilled. He's going to be your best guide as to what works and why. This is really even the case with the more common kinds of ABDLs, as there's a lot of variety among seemingly similar behaviors and urges.

    This isn't how I come at it but based on ABDL fiction, he might find your reluctance fun. This is something you'd want to check with him beforehand because most of us are worried about appearing creepy. I think the important thing in this is finding just how this excites him. Is it making an adult be like a child? Having control? Is it the activities themselves? Does he want to do some of these things (discreetly) in public? Once you know these things, you'll be able to start to see if it's something you can accomodate. You might even find it fun. We've seen a few people brought into this by boyfriends/girlfriends and come to enjoy aspects of it in their own right.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousGirl View Post
    Hello everyone. I recently started dating this guy who is into ABDL. I have tried doing lots of research online but I haven't really found much information on the type he's into. Most of the information I am finding are guys as the adult baby. Here is a little information on my situation.

    He wants me to be the adult baby, so for me to wear a diaper and be little and he wants to take care of me. He wants to baby me, he in the role as "daddy" and I in the role of being his little girl. Most research I've read on this is for comfort reasons, I haven't really found anything about it being sexual. He is into it for being sexual, it turns him on a lot.

    I don't really have a specific question, I am just looking for more information regarding this type of role play. Any advice/information will be appreciated. I have zero experience and no nothing about this form of role play! Thank you!
    ok so you have found yourself a daddy dom he is sexualy into being a daddy and babying you he is a dom and wants to be able to have a little girl (you)

    i would say that this is your choice if you want to do maby you just cannot get into this and dont want to be babied at all, maby you are fine being babied but you dont want to wear diapers, maby you are fine with diapers but dont want to use them,

    just do what makes you feel comfortable what you enjoy what you are happy with maby its nothing maby its alot more then you expected


    i will tell you what not to do do not do what you are not comfortable doing just because you want to seem "open minded" you can accept who he is without involving yourself with it just remember to think about you keep open talk about things and dont be afraid to try things you have not but if you are not into it you are not into and you have to make that clear also remember that it is still a relationship and for what he is willing to do accept for you you sometimes need to make a compromise with him just try to meet him half way and who knows maby you will find you like being abdl and dont mind it just try to do what you like

  4. #4

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    I think you've come to a good place to ask for advice on this issue so I will give you a little of my thoughts on this. Btw, I think you're pretty cool for being so open minded of the situation and doing some research. It's such a taboo thing that a lot of people would just run away from so good on you

    On a side note, whenever I speak about fetishes/ kinks with friends, I always make sure to say something like "I'm pretty certain that every single human being alive must have some unusual or weird thing that turns them on, which they don't want anybody to know about", and I say it very confidently. I then quickly glance at everybody in the conversation to see their reaction and not once have I ever seen a confused or surprised look. In fact now that I think of it, people have agreed with me, resoundingly. Every single time. Maybe because I've clearly just admitted to having a weird kink myself, which could have broken the ice, who knows?

    Anyway, I digress. I would ask him a few more questions on exactly what it is that he likes about it. And do your best to be confident, open minded and most importantly of all - nonchalant. If you are totally cool with the subject then he will most likely mirror that attitude. And I'm guessing you are cool with it if you've been researching and ended up here?

    A lot of guys (myself included) get turned on by the cuteness and innocence of it all. Girls having accidents, wetting the bed, needing nappies/ diapers is a very popular kink. I don't know exactly what it is that is the turn on but for me it's definitely the helplessness and innocence of a girl having accidents and needing a Daddy type figure to turn to. It's a massive trust factor that I think can bring a couple closer than having sex. That in itself is a very special thing which requires so much trust and faith that it will make your relationship stronger than many others.

    Some people talk about 'normal' sex with their partners and exe's quite openly and thats pretty common, well at least in my experiences it is anyway. But how many people talk about the kinky stuff? I've never witnessed that kind of talk in normal, social situations.

    If you're comfortable with it, ask him what he really likes. If he appears reluctant then you might want to suggest a few things to get the ball rolling. That could really ease the situation. And if you're really up for it and feeling totally gutsy then you could just stage an 'accident'. And I can tell you right now that for most guys who are into this, that would be a dream come true. It might seem a bit forward but trust me, nothing breaks down barriers faster than facing them head on, with a smile

    Good luck and let us know how you get on

    I hope my words have been of some help to you!

  5. #5

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    Thank you so much for the wonderful responses!

    He's been very open and honest with me about everything. Bohemian, I feel like you understand his preference from what you have said. He has told me it is a trust thing and he does want me to go for him. It scares me but I am also intrigued. I am very open minded and it excites me to do it for him because I know it will bring him pleasure. Yet at the same time I am a little terrified. I think it might stem from my own insecurities. I actually ordered some diapers to surprise him. I am super nervous about it. I don't know if it will turn me on to do it and I am hoping that it would? He is into the innocence and the taking care. He wants me to act like a baby essentially and take care of me.

    I am the first girl he has ever told so he is very new at this too. Unlike me, I don't think he's doing any research online hahaha. I suppose I am just seeking advice on what I can do as a AB to maybe surprise him and pleasure him. He is always the one leading me and guiding me that I want to try to surprise him. Thank you!

  6. #6

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    I'm glad that I might have been of some help, yay

    To be honest I don't think anybody doesn't feel nervous the first time - even those of us who know for sure that we want to try.

    I must say that if he trusts you with this then he really must feel a very special connection with you and that is amazing, so I'm very happy for you

    I wouldn't over think how it's supposed to feel or if it's right or not, if you're open minded as you say then just give it a go. You've got nothing to lose.

    Tell you what though if you've ordered some nappies and you turn up to meet him wearing one and maybe dress up and act cute then you are very likely to see one very happy and excited boyfriend who will give you a lot of attention!

    Deep down I think a lot of us long for some childhood comforts and I think the onesie craze says something interesting about that notion

    What nappies/ diapers did you order?

  7. #7

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    I ordered diapers from a website called aww so cute. Do you know any other good websites for stuff? They don't have the largest selection on there. I definitely want a onesie, not even for pleasure or roleplay reasons but because they look so damn comfortable!

    I apologize for my ignorance but I was wondering if we will ever have "normal" sex. Will our sex life just solely be this type of kink? I am just worried that I won't turn him on unless I assume that role.

  8. #8

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    Aww so cute look great but I haven't tried them myself yet, bit too expensive for UK delivery etc. I order most of my stuff locally(ish) so can't really give the best advice on whats good in your part of the world but give it a couple of days or a week or so and I'm sure there will be plenty of people on here with good advice for you.

    No need for apologies btw, I would never shoot somebody down for asking any question at all - even if it's been answered multiple times elsewhere on this site Anyway, there isn't really an easy answer for that one as it all depends on you both. But if I were to guess then I would say that any couple which consists of one ABDL identity and another tolerant/ accepting of ABDL, that stands the test of time, will definitely have compromises to balance things out. Like with any couple, everyone likes different things and I think that any successful relationship should allow and cater for the needs of each participant, whether those needs be ABDL or not.

    I wouldn't worry too much you know. There is an extremely high possibility that your bf is going to be over the moon if you show him that you're willing to accommodate his ABDL side!

  9. #9

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    Hi CuriousGirl.

    Your question about having ' normal ' sex is a good one.

    I think you need to let him know that the ' Daddy / Little Girl ' theme is only one aspect of the relationship, and not necessarily the whole, and only type of sex life you want ( Unless, of course, this is the only type of sex life you want ).

  10. #10

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    Hi there, CuriousGirl, and welcome! Here is a post I sent over a year ago to a male AB/DL who was trying to involve his new wife. You might show it to him. Be honest and forthright with him! I hope you enjoy!

    "Hi there. I hear and understand your struggles because I've been through a similar situation, myself. Probably the easiest way to put it is this. Your wife probably wants a husband who is OK with who he is. In order for her to be OK with your diaper wearing, you have to be OK with it, yourself. Unless she was into diapers before she met you, there is likely little you can do to make it truly appealing to her. All the pleasure you get out of wearing diapers you will have to get for yourself, not from her. She likely didn't marry you because of your diapers, but because she loves all of who you are, and it sounds like you are most fortunate that she has accepted the diapers as part of who you are.

    Yet that leaves a void, as she likely will never truly understand the important intimate role that diapers play in your life. The question back is do you love her, all that she is, or do you love her as a diaper partner? She might even be asking herself this question now.

    So the challenge is to love her intimately and as a friend for all that she is, and also for you to love her with all that you are, not just with your diapers. Consider doing some things that she loves to do and sharing that companionship with her. Involve her in the activities and passions you have in life. Consider cuddling and sex without diapers at least some of the time if possible, if not most of the time. From time to time it's good to consult her about diapers; ask if it's OK with her or if she's being offended in any way or if she has any questions. Let her know she can always talk to you about them. Most of the time, though, diapers are likely going to be your thing and not hers, and she will likely be tolerating and supporting you instead of enjoying the diapers.

    That's where the benefits of a site like this come into play. You can communicate with others, share ideas, and see that you're not alone. You can find community here so that you can fully love your wife.

    You are fortunate to have a wife who accepts your diaper wearing. Whether or not it will move beyond acceptance to participation and involvement remains to be seen over time, but I certainly wouldn't push the issue. Now it's up to you to be confident and OK in who you are in order to fully love her and make your marriage truly go. Every marriage is full of stops, starts, and missteps. What matters is how you handle it together. Every issue or crisis survived makes for a richer, stronger marriage over time. At less than a year in, you still have a lot to learn about each other and a lot of growing to do individually and together. May it be a good, exciting, and wonderful journey!"

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