A Good Diaper for Post-op (Wife as Caretaker)

Hello All,

I'm taking to my computer to ask a fairly serious question. I'm going in for some pretty major surgery, and will be staying the night at the hospital--after that, it's pretty much 2 weeks of bed rest.

The wife is encouraging me to wear at the hospital. She thinks I "need" them to deal with the discomfort and anxiety, and I'm not arguing! She also assured me she would change me--something I wish she'd do when I'm NOT whacked out on delaudid.

So anyway, in the past, when she's changed me, she was discouraged with the tapes. I believe these were DryCare at the time.

I've been experimenting, and out of the diapers I have (DryCare, Abena M4, Snuggies, Northshore and AwwSoCutes) the Abenas have the most forgiving tapes, and they are strong enough as I like my diapers tight. However, since I like them tight, I wear a Medium--and I'm suspecting she will have better success with a Large.

So--seems as how I want this to be a successful experience for her, what should I do? At home, we'll use mostly cloth so it won't be an issue. I have 6 Abenas in Medium. I'll have plenty if I get a pack of Larges. I'd have her practice, but I only have 6 to practice with.

Now, I'll be able to use the bathroom--this is totally a loving wife/courtesy thing on her part. Do you think we'll get pushback from the staff? I mean, we will just say she will help me with my toileting, and barring any medical incident, we should be pretty much left to ourselves, right? She's staying with me overnight.

Any thoughts? I know I'm lucky--I just want to be luckier!

Hi

Hate to state the obvious here, but if its major they might put a catheter in you. So whether or not they would approve of diapers is a moot point.

MandyBear said:

Hate to state the obvious here, but if its major they might put a catheter in you. So whether or not they would approve of diapers is a moot point.

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I know I would be making it VERY clear, NO CATH.

The clothback cushies use that micro velcro, that's probably some of the most forgiving tape around. I don't know of any other diaper that uses something like velcro though?

But with the tapes... if you know where the tapes go, you could just pick out your diaper of choice, and take a sharpie and draw a line where the pulls need to be, or a rectangle where the tape needs to stick down. that will make it dead simple for her to tape you up just right every time. If she can get it right every time, that'll have the added benefit of upping her confidence and put more positive spin on diapering you, maybe more later too.

Don't. As it is not medically meeded you should not wear them. If they have to put you under they will cath you. They won't remove the cath because that is how they check fluid output and hydration levels. Until theu know you are good and you are mobile you have a cathater in. If you do wear to the hospital you are exposing them to your fetish. All care must be done by the nurses or your self while in a hospital for insurance reasons. Less chance of infections that will keep you there longer. Wearing a diaper to a hospital when there is no medical need is irresponsible. After you return home I would say go for it.

Doh! I forgot about cathing. I'm not into that at all--ain't gunna happen. In fact, I'm going to email them right now. Nope! No sir!

If they have to put you under anastesia you will need to be cathed. You can't relieve yourself during a major surgery. It's a medical necessity and not a choice. They will remove it while you are still in the hospital. I didn't like the idea during my two surgeries, but you will have to live with reality. They don't want you possibly peeing on a doc or nurse let alone into your open incision. It a saftey requirement in some operations. Some they don't need to do it or put it in and take it out while you are under.

xtrabulk said:

Doh! I forgot about cathing. I'm not into that at all--ain't gunna happen. In fact, I'm going to email them right now. Nope! No sir!

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Sorry, but you do not have a choice in the matter.
You go under - you get one, period.
If they need to monitor you ( like said above) it stays in.

Those are the rules, sorry.

Now once you get home, you can do whatever you want.

PS: And if you lie and say you need them (diapers) for a medical reason like being - IC - they may just put on in to make things easier for the staff.

You will have 2 weeks at home, isn't that enough? I mean really?!? A little common sense goes a long way.

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PS: You know, for those of us that need them (night time/sleeping for me) it's still sort of embarrassing being in a hospital and having to say to a nurse, excuse me, sorry for bothering you, but I (in the tiniest whisper ever) need a diaper (because I wet the bed like a child).
No matter how nice they are about it, or say there is nothing wrong with needing one honey, its a hospital, I've seen worse dear.
There is nothing fun about being put in one by basically a stranger (professional or not) and being asked if you want/need a change.
Or worse yet, being told they can just put a pad under you and you basically having to say, no I'd rather not pee on myself so could I just please have a diaper.
No Fun! No Fun At All!

Why do you seem so upset with him? He's within his right to be pain free.

MandyBear said:

Sorry, but you do not have a choice in the matter. You go under - you get one, period.
If they need to monitor you ( like said above) it stays in.

Those are the rules, sorry.

Now once you get home, you can do whatever you want.

PS: And if you lie and say you need them (diapers) for a medical reason like being - IC - they may just put on in to make things easier for the staff.

You will have 2 weeks at home, isn't that enough? I mean really?!? A little common sense goes a long way.

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I have cerebral palsy, so does my adoptive sister, (her IC is complete) and my adoptive stepdad, so that means lots of hospital time. Actually, you do have every right to ask for it to be removed before you even wake up from surgery, possibly even during, I'd ask. Xtrabulk, and I don't blame you, being male and all, I'd suspect it hurts more. I'm a girl, and they hurt me! Catheters scratch, and raise UTI risk, and docs realize this now, so they don't leave them in as long as they used to. They can monitor you after surgery without catheterizing you, do it for biolittles quite often. After all,

I mean really?!? A little common sense goes a long way.

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. . . You know, for those of us that need them (night time/sleeping for me) it's still sort of embarrassing being in a hospital and having to say to a nurse, excuse me, sorry for bothering you, but I (in the tiniest whisper ever) need a diaper.
No matter how nice they are about it, or say there is nothing wrong with needing one honey, its a hospital, I've seen worse dear.
There is nothing fun about being put in one by basically a stranger (professional or not) and being asked if you want/need a change. . . No Fun! No Fun At All!

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Yep, one of the issues that's often associated with my disability is IC, not at night for me, because the bladder spasms go away and leave me alone when my body is relaxed enough to sleep. I'm sure if I treated my body well enough to drink when I'm thirsty, I'd have a harder time staying dry during the day, but hell, let my kidneys rot, right? At least I'm staying dry. It's tough.

SpAzpieSweeTot said:

Why do you seem so upset with him? He's within his right to be pain free.

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You misunderstood, maybe I wrote it wrong, but I wasn't trying to be mean at all.

Its just that they seem more interested in wanting to be diapered in a hospital (for one day) then what is normally done to people there when they have surgery.
I mean like I said, they will have 2 weeks at home with their wife who is going to keep them diapered the whole time, so what is the big deal about one lousy day in the hospital when they really don't need it. that is all I was trying to say.

Ya, I know, catheters totally suck, they are a hassle, they hurt, but you can't expect a hospital to change how they do things because you WANT to wear a diaper while there and don't need it. You know, I'm sorry, but suffer like the rest of us, lol. I once had one of those things in me for like 9 or 10 days so I know, trust me. It was not a pleasant experience, on top of the reasons for being there in the first place.

PS: Sorry, I just really do not like hospitals at all,I don't like being in one, I don't like even visiting people in one, its just a thing. Maybe that's why I'm being a bit unsympathetic but for me fun is the last thing I think of when I think of hospitals.

As painful as it will be, catheter might have to be the way you will have to go. I do feel bad as I know its extremely painful to deal with, but its all about policy more than anything. It will end quicker than you think though and you will get through it in the end. Just gotta stay positive in knowing that they are simply trying to help you.

MandyBear said:

You misunderstood, maybe I wrote it wrong, but I wasn't trying to be mean at all.

Its just that they seem more interested in wanting to be diapered in a hospital (for one day) then what is normally done to people there when they have surgery.
I mean like I said, they will have 2 weeks at home with their wife who is going to keep them diapered the whole time, so what is the big deal about one lousy day in the hospital when they really don't need it. that is all I was trying to say.

Ya, I know, catheters totally suck, they are a hassle, they hurt, but you can't expect a hospital to change how they do things because you WANT to wear a diaper while there and don't need it. You know, I'm sorry, but suffer like the rest of us, lol. I once had one of those things in me for like 9 or 10 days so I know, trust me. It was not a pleasant experience, on top of the reasons for being there in the first place.

PS: Sorry, I just really do not like hospitals at all,I don't like being in one, I don't like even visiting people in one, its just a thing. Maybe that's why I'm being a bit unsympathetic but for me fun is the last thing I think of when I think of hospitals.

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You poor dear, I'm sorry I snapped at you. Let me explain. Last time I was hospitalized, I was 17. The nurses' anatomical landmarks were all thrown off, because of something from childhood I'd rather forget, and mom, who's not a nurse, and had just gotten custody of me a few months earlier, had to put the catheter in.

As one who has worn diapers all of my life I have had a bit of experience in the hospital diapered. I simply refused a catheter. I told them it is to easy to get an infection and they agreed.

The adult diapers hospitals have are pretty pathetic. My wife has brought some from home and they were more than happy to use them to diaper me until I could do it myself.

pottypanties said:

As one who has worn diapers all of my life I have had a bit of experience in the hospital diapered. I simply refused a catheter. I told them it is to easy to get an infection and they agreed.

The adult diapers hospitals have are pretty pathetic. My wife has brought some from home and they were more than happy to use them to diaper me until I could do it myself.

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The difference here is that the person wanting to do this has no medical reason to wear them.

dlinu said:

The difference here is that the person wanting to do this has no medical reason to wear them.

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Good point! I guess I missed that.

dlinu said:

The difference here is that the person wanting to do this has no medical reason to wear them.

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That has no bearing on the infection risk. OR the discomfort. OR the "that tube goes WHERE?!"

They'd better honor my request if I get hospitalized. Or I'll find them and show them the tube is passable for intibation as well.

dlinu said:

The difference here is that the person wanting to do this has no medical reason to wear them.

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People's needs differ more when sick, injured, or post surgical. He may not most of the time, but the inability to make it to a toilet in time is functional IC. We don't know rather or not the restroom will be an option for him or not. For a lot of post surgical folks, it, and even bedpans, are not.

SpAzpieSweeTot said:

People's needs differ more when sick, injured, or post surgical. He may not most of the time, but the inability to make it to a toilet in time is functional IC. We don't know rather or not the restroom will be an option for him or not. For a lot of post surgical folks, it, and even bedpans, are not.

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The OP already said there would be no need for them beyond stress relief. Medically they are not required and the person is asking if it is okay to push a fetish on medical staff. During the hospital stay I would say not to do it as it is very discourteous. When they are at home I say go for it. They even said they would be able to use the bathroom.

Sorry, I was wrong, but he still has the right to refuse them putting anything in his body. Granted, I've spent an unfair amount of time in hospitals, so I'm a bit posessive of my body, so kneejerk reaction is all. I do have 2 questions though. If his wife is gonna change him, why the heck would anyone other than her care? How do we automatically know he'll be in a sexual mindset, or is a fetishest at all? Not all ABDLs are. His wife seems to think he'll need them on an emotional level, and she'd know; they're married.

SpAzpieSweeTot said:

If his wife is gonna change him, why the heck would anyone other than her care?

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This. Unless the doctors specifically need to take urine, I doubt anyone will object to nappies replacing catheters.

Back on topic, I think xtrabulk should have some cloth-backed diapers so his wife can adjust the fit without getting stressed out about adhesives and ruining expensive ABDL diapers. :twocents:

SpAzpieSweeTot said:

Sorry, I was wrong, but he still has the right to refuse them putting anything in his body. Granted, I've spent an unfair amount of time in hospitals, so I'm a bit posessive of my body, so kneejerk reaction is all. I do have 2 questions though. If his wife is gonna change him, why the heck would anyone other than her care? How do we automatically know he'll be in a sexual mindset, or is a fetishest at all? Not all ABDLs are. His wife seems to think he'll need them on an emotional level, and she'd know; they're married.

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The only reason I could see there really being a problem is if it is regulation and to not do it would be against the policies. It very well could be that the situation would be fine and it be fine with him wearing a diaper during surgery, not to mention the fact that his wife would be helping him. If anything it comes down to the politics of the situation for some and for other the emotional side. I myself find that a balance needs to be struck towards the integrity of both sides in how one looks at this situation, but that's mainly my own point of view.

The second point I feel is spot on in that we do probably assume that he really doesn't need the diapers being in this forum and all. That being said, I'm sure that there are quite a few that are IC throughout the forum and that would feel far more comfortable with wearing a diaper during surgery, so perhaps wearing diapers is more of a reasonable response from someone who has worn them for dealing with IC issues.