Doing age play with my partner. The good and bad

Status
Not open for further replies.

Wombat

Est. Contributor
Messages
260
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
I have been very blessed lately. A few months ago, I entered into a new relationship with a lady, who I am quickly falling in love with. There are all the usual reasons of compatibility, we like the same things etc., but the biggest bonus is she enjoys AB/DL things as well.

You see, she suffers from some IC issues. She has the standard stress IC problems mostly, where she will leak a bit if she laughs, sneezes or coughs too hard. As a result she wears pads in her panties all the time for protection. But she also gets overflow IC issues as well occasionally. I hadn't heard of this before, but apparently if she is getting full, sometimes she will just start leaking until the level in her bladder goes down. If she's drinking, she may have an occasional urge IC accident as well, where she will suddenly need to go NOW, or will lose control. If she knows beforehand that she is going to be in a difficult situation like drinking a lot, or maybe going for a long drive, she wears Depends or Tena briefs or diapers.

I discovered this within a few weeks of our relationship starting, after a lot of comments like "Oohh, I need to go badly or I'll wet my pants" or "I just peed a bit!" After a small wet pants incident one night while going back to her place after a meal out, she told me about her problems. I, of course, was very quick to tell her that I was fine with it, and in fact quite liked it.....

We had a real deep in depth discussion about it. It was the first time I had told anybody except for my ex-wife about my love affair with wet pants and accidents. I told her everything. How I like wetting my own pants, how much I liked seeing her wet, as well as how I liked diapers, both for myself and others. I even told her how I identified myself as a "little", and saw myself as 9-12 years old sometimes when I played wetting games.

She blew me away when she related similar feelings. Her husband passed away about 6 years ago, and apparently he was into it as well, just in a different way. He used to act as her caretaker, (not daddy, they found using that word too weird) and loved babying her and helping her change when she had an accident. She loved it too, and enjoyed being treated as a toddler as he changed or diapered her.

So while we both love the same type of things, they are also different. I've never been interested in having or being a care giver, and see myself as an older kid who wets his pants sometimes, she sees herself as loving the feeling of being maybe 3-4 years old, with somebody to nurture and take care of her.

But our interests are close enough to experiment with our fantasies and try new things with each other, which we have done twice in the last couple of weeks.

The first time was at her place, where we tried things her way. She dressed up in a cute little nightdress with Mickey Mouse on the front, a pair of Depends briefs underneath, and some stripey pink socks, then held on while watching cartoons. Of course she held on to long, and wet her pants while sitting on the floor, leaving a wet spot on the carpet that I had to clean up. I had to punish her by making her wear a diaper after that. I mean, if she can't behave like a big girl, she will get treated like a baby, won't she?

Then the other night we played my games. We were older kids, and sat at the table doing some colouring in, and having so much fun that I didn't want to stop and go to the toilet. I waited for too long, and ended up wetting my grey sweatpants as I sat there. She was naughty too, and did a wee in her faded denim shorts. Apparently our parents must have found out, and they punished us by making us both wear diapers and t shirts only while we watched TV.

Now you're probably thinking that this is a work of fantasy and just to good to be true. But it wasn't all as good as I had hoped and dreamed of for so long.

For starters I found that I really enjoyed the caretaker role that I played. I didn't expect to, but I did and it was awesome.

But as for my playtime, I just felt so incredibly awkward. I was so self conscious you wouldn't believe. I just could not relax enough to enjoy it. For so long I've wanted to wet my pants with a playmate, and enjoy some diaper time like that as well, but when it happened, I was just so aware of how I sounded and what I looked like in real life.

In my fantasies I am always in a little mindset. And everything I say or do is actually being said by a little me, but in reality I just saw big old "normal" (?) me acting like a little kid. She was great, and got right into it, but I just could not regress enough in front of someone else to truly engage in it.

At best it felt awkward and uncomfortable.

We won't give up that easily though, and will definitely try again. But now I'm starting to wonder if indeed there is a caregiver inside me as well, or instead of a little.

Only time will tell.
 
That's great!

I think you are right (not to give up on your playtime). This was your first time in the new situation and it may be better in the future. Of course, there is the chance that it just won't work out. I hope you do figure out how to get over the awkwardness.
 
Thanks BabyDenise. I appreciate the feedback.

It just seems so weird. I've longed for the chance to do this for so long. I mean really dreamed about it. It has been like number 1 on the bucket list. And now to finally do it, and not truly enjoy it seems so strange.

With the help of self-psychology, I think that it boils down to this. While I have been "flying solo", it is so easy to use your imagination and perfectly imagine your ideal dream scenario. Yet when you introduce others into it in a real life situation, the script has unexpected changes.

What I always thought that I'd be comfortable doing and saying in my fantasies, I felt very uncomfortable copying in real life. Even though I shouldn't, I felt very embarrassed at times. I just couldn't seem to fully let go emotionally and just enjoy it! One of my biggest desires for years has been to wet in front of somebody and then have to admit it, and yet when the time came, I felt like genuinely humiliated, and that's not a turn on for me!

It was also weird how I felt so comfortable and right doing the caretaker role, because as I said, it's never held an interest for me before.

We had a good talk about it after, and agreed that it's her turn to be looked after again next. I'm looking forward to trying that again! We also agreed to try my games again in the future, but not next time. Next time we will try a role reversal of me as a younger little and her as the caretaker! Once again, nothing I've ever sought out, but now I'm willing to admit that anythings possible when it comes to experimenting.

I'm comfortable enough to accept that whatever happens won't put a strain on our relationship. We are both consenting adults, who are experimenting with a shared ideal, but are learning more about what makes us tick as we go.

I have to be honest and say, that while I'm so grateful and lucky to actually find a partner who shares my interest, (a dream scenario I know) and I would never think to be ungrateful about it, I just really wish that my daydream fantasy would have played out. It's been the driving force behind so many "bucket list" dreams for years, and to finally get to try it and be let down by own inhibitions is a wake up call to my own negative frame of mind I feel.

But as stated, we will keep trying. The "vanilla" side of our relationship is pretty strong so far, it's just the "more private" stuff that's been an issue.
 
Wombat said:
Thanks BabyDenise. I appreciate the feedback.

It just seems so weird. I've longed for the chance to do this for so long. I mean really dreamed about it. It has been like number 1 on the bucket list. And now to finally do it, and not truly enjoy it seems so strange.

With the help of self-psychology, I think that it boils down to this. While I have been "flying solo", it is so easy to use your imagination and perfectly imagine your ideal dream scenario. Yet when you introduce others into it in a real life situation, the script has unexpected changes.

What I always thought that I'd be comfortable doing and saying in my fantasies, I felt very uncomfortable copying in real life. Even though I shouldn't, I felt very embarrassed at times. I just couldn't seem to fully let go emotionally and just enjoy it! One of my biggest desires for years has been to wet in front of somebody and then have to admit it, and yet when the time came, I felt like genuinely humiliated, and that's not a turn on for me!

It was also weird how I felt so comfortable and right doing the caretaker role, because as I said, it's never held an interest for me before.

We had a good talk about it after, and agreed that it's her turn to be looked after again next. I'm looking forward to trying that again! We also agreed to try my games again in the future, but not next time. Next time we will try a role reversal of me as a younger little and her as the caretaker! Once again, nothing I've ever sought out, but now I'm willing to admit that anythings possible when it comes to experimenting.

I'm comfortable enough to accept that whatever happens won't put a strain on our relationship. We are both consenting adults, who are experimenting with a shared ideal, but are learning more about what makes us tick as we go.

I have to be honest and say, that while I'm so grateful and lucky to actually find a partner who shares my interest, (a dream scenario I know) and I would never think to be ungrateful about it, I just really wish that my daydream fantasy would have played out. It's been the driving force behind so many "bucket list" dreams for years, and to finally get to try it and be let down by own inhibitions is a wake up call to my own negative frame of mind I feel.

But as stated, we will keep trying. The "vanilla" side of our relationship is pretty strong so far, it's just the "more private" stuff that's been an issue.

I think that's great that you have such an opportunity. You are really lucky. Give it some time Wombat. I've felt the same way as you when I've thought about how I may look to other people. My counselor is okay with my AB/DL interests, so that's a start for me.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you meet such a great woman? I'm afraid I'll never get that chance.
 
As a recently socialized AB, I have first hand knowledge of your problem. I started hanging out with some kink folks around my area, who were not only accepting of my little-headedness but actually excited about it! I dressed cute, but vanilla the first time met them all (at a social gathering, a tea party actually) and then wore full AB gear for the next event (a "play" party where they had a small littles corner for us to play in while all the others did their ouchie things). Both times I felt a little (ha!) self-conscious, especially walking around in my shortalls at the party. But each time I do something with folks, even if it's just a diaper under street clothes at a munch, the feeling of awkwardness diminished a little. I'm still nervous each time, but less and less as the group and I get to know each other, learn what's expected or desired. Communication is key, but patience is the keyring. If y'all take your time, learn eachothers ways and needs and keep talking about things, I think it'll all work out. We're all rooting for both of you!

As far as the unexpected desire to take care of her, I can only say that things, people, interests and behaviors change. It's as simple as that, and it's a common thing in the kink community, or so I'm learning. We shouldn't be afraid to explore our boundaries. Only after that can we expand our interests. And what worked for us when "flying solo" may not be the same thing we gravitate towards when a partner is involved.

We're weird creatures, we humans.
 
Well look at this way, your "vanilla" side is doing good, you like each other and share some same interests :)

I can understand what you mean with not really ever thinking you could or would want to be a caregiver, daddy, mommy, ect. but once you experienced it you found you liked it and wanted to explore it more, that's cool, cause I'm the same way :)

Maybe having her be your caregiver is not your original dream, but maybe you will enjoy it as much as you've enjoyed being her's.

I'm more of a teenager at heart, lol, and as much as I enjoy the thoughts and feeling of being the one cuddled, the idea and feeling of being the cuddler has really, really grown on me. :) IDK, maybe its just me and maybe because diapers and such wasn't always a part of me and are just a part of my everyday life.
What I mean is diapers weren't originally part of me being little, I've always been this way I'm starting to see now, but diapers came later out of necessity (me being nighttime IC/bed wetter)

But go for it! You know, have some fun, enjoy it, you may find you like it! :D
 
I have found that real life rarely works out as a fantasy does but that doesn't mean real life is necessarily bad.

From what you said in your second post, I think you are going about this in the correct way. Changing roles, changing scenarios, changing clothing, etc is good. You don't want to get into a routine.

Good luck.
 
It's good that you found someone that you can open up to and age play with. I say give it time and you will get over that awkwardness and and uncomfortableness.

Good luck
 
Hey wombat. I saw your reply in my thread looking for some feedback over here so I figured I'd pop in. It's good that you guys are talking. For me, that's the hardest part. I can text with my wife about little stuff all day, but actually talking in person is hard for me lol. So good for you guys that you're talking about it!

I can completely relate in regards to what you're saying about things being harder in person than in your head. I have the hardest time using my voice at all during little time. But I think it's good that you're talking through stuff. Honestly I think time is really what you need here. It seems like this is your first time getting to play out things that have been in your head. It's always going to probably be a little awkward as we've all been trained to be adults and not do this or that. So I think it's just a matter of getting past those natural blocks in your head. But just keep communicating and it will get better.
 
I gotta say, full regression has never been a thing with my roommate and I. Although we'll sit down in onesies and Bellisimos and watch television with pacifiers, one thing that we've both been uncomfortable with is baby talk. It just ruins it! No matter what we do, we can never go five minutes straight baby talk and not end up on the floor laughing at our voices so unfit for the job.

In conclusion, do what I did: find the aspect of regression that bothers you and cut it until you become comfortable with it.
 
ParkABDL said:
I gotta say, full regression has never been a thing with my roommate and I. Although we'll sit down in onesies and Bellisimos and watch television with pacifiers, one thing that we've both been uncomfortable with is baby talk. It just ruins it! No matter what we do, we can never go five minutes straight baby talk and not end up on the floor laughing at our voices so unfit for the job.

In conclusion, do what I did: find the aspect of regression that bothers you and cut it until you become comfortable with it.

Thanks for the advice Park and Wheelman as well.

We had a "play date" last night, and it was the best one so far. We had talked about it, and decided to throw the "rules" out of the window, and try doing and saying whatever we felt like, without adhering to what we thought we "should" be doing. This meant that we didn't try to hard to act or speak little, but rather focus on making each other feel little.

Now I understand how confusing that sounds, but it basically meant that so long as we felt right within ourselves, we weren't trying to be convincing for each other. If we wanted to act or talk little we would, but we wouldn't try to act like bad actors in a bad movie being false. We also could swap roles between being a little or a caretaker as the need arose. This was a sticking point. We had both thought previously that the caretaker would usually be dressed and acting as a grown up, while the little would naturally be more childish. But when we talked it out, we thought that if we were suspending belief to play little, we should be able to do the same and ignore the fact that at times the caretaker would be dressed as a little.

It worked out pretty well. We started by building the scenario. We agreed that we would set our ages at 11 years old, and we were cousins who had grown up with each other and shared each other's secret and problems. Now it doesn't have to make sense in the real world, so we were 11 year olds who still had wet accidents from time to time, so we were used to wearing pull ups while we were out. Real pull ups don't fit, so we wore adult IC briefs instead, me in a Depends, her in Tena. I wore black sweat pants and a baggy pullover, not really little attire I know, but I felt that discretion was more important for me to feel relaxed. She was a bit more daring, and wore some dressy bib style overalls with a pink t shirt underneath.

We went to our local mall, and started at the pub there. I only had 2 beers, as I was driving, and she had 3 vodka and orange juice. It helped to relax us before we got into little mode. Neither of us needed the toilet before leaving, but with her mild IC, urgent need isn't always a factor. We left and entered the mall proper.

From here on in we were 11. Old enough to be allowed some limited unsupervised time alone, but young enough to still get a child like thrill from being alone and looking at toys and stuff. And needy enough to be wearing protection. We knew that our pull ups couldn't handle a full on drenching, but would handle a bit of leakage if it occurred.

We didn't hold hands or anything, as boy/girl cousins don't do that, but just enjoyed each other's company away from the grown ups. We browsed a few shops, and ended up in a big toy store. We got separated for a bit, and it felt kind of scary to be alone and not know where each other was. Eventually my cousin found me, and told me that she needed a wee, and had walked away to look for a bathroom, but hadn't found one in the store. Knowing that this could mean an accident could happen, we decided to head to the main bathrooms in the mall. As we walked along, I asked her how badly she needed to go, and she said very badly now. We stopped briefly to check out some CD's when something I said made her laugh. She suddenly pressed her legs together and bent forward a bit, and said "Come on, I gotta go to the loo NOW!"

We found the bathrooms, and went into our respective toilets. I was still dry, but in safety of the stall, I peed in the toilet, but not before I wet my pull up a bit. I was finished first, and waited for her to come out. When she did, I asked her if she had made it. She lowered her eyes and with a bit of a tremble in her voice, she replied "Not really, I did a big wee in my pull up before we left the music store."
I told her it was ok, that's why she wore them, and I knew she wouldn't be in trouble, and my pull up was a bit wet as well. She said hers was very wet, but she had left it on anyway. We decided we should leave and go home.

When we returned to the car, and the first role swap took place. Now I was the caretaker who was driving and picking up his girl from her outing. As we got in the car, I asked her if she had had fun. She seemed a bit quiet, and after a bit of urging, she started to tear up a bit and told me that she had had an accident, and had wet herself. (Exactly where her male cousin had disappeared too was one of the holes in the script that we conveniently ignored!)

When we got home, I helped her to undress, and removed her soaked pull up. I wiped her down with a wet cloth, put some powder and lotion on her, followed by a fresh pull up, and dressed her in her footed onesie.

Role swap! She disappeared into the kitchen, and I went outside and then came back in.

So I enter the house, and my caretaker is in the kitchen cooking noodles. (The fact she is in a onesie is something I ignore!). She asked me how my trip to the shops went, and I just mumbled "Ok I guess"

"Is something wrong sweetie? You look upset"

I started to cry a bit, (this was hard to imitate, and I nearly broke character right away. I won't try that again) "I had an accident. I didn't make it to the toilet in time and I wet myself a bit" I blurted out.

She gave me a big hug and reminded me that that was the reason I had a pull up on, because even big boys have accidents some times. With the noodles turned down, she took my hand and led me into the bedroom where she did for me as I had done for her, changing me into a dry pull up and putting my onesie on over it.

"Your cousin will be here soon. She's sleeping over tonight, so cheer up! Now go watch TV while I get you something to eat."

I did as I was told, and soon after my cousin emerged from the kitchen carrying 2 bowls of noodles.

Story change. Now we managed to ignore the fact that we had been at the mall together, and this was the first time we had seen each other that day. As we chatted away excitedly like the 11 year olds that we were, I asked her what she had been up to. She told me that she had been to the mall earlier, but had an accident in her pull up, so she had to leave and get changed. She told me all about how something had made her laugh and she had lost control. She also admitted that she was wearing a dry pull up under her onesie, and making sure that no grown ups were around, she gave me a peek at it and let me touch it!

I told her about my day, and how I too had wet myself on the way back from playing at a friends house, but I had a pull up on as well, so my pants didn't get wet at all. I told her that I had a clean one on as well now, and I undid my buttons to show her, and let her touch it as well. We both agreed that it was lucky that we were wearing them!

I won't go into details in this post, but we had more fun while watching movies on the couch later. I'll relate it in another post later if anyone cares enough to hear about it.

Sorry it's been such a long post, but I felt it was necessary to explain exactly what we did, and what we learned, and how it overcame the awkwardness that we, (I) was having.

I discovered that I could enjoy an age regression play time with another person, but it took more than just pretending to be little. We had to suspend belief and reality even beyond our ages. For it to work, flexibility was the key. We had to adapt to our fantasy, and be prepared for stuff such as time lines or even characters to not make sense. We needed to jump around with what happened, and just give in and wing it as the situation arose. For example, my "coming back from a friends house" just seemed to fit better for me while my we were suddenly seeing each other for the first time all day. It just seemed easier to gloss over all the stuff that had happened earlier, and make a fresh start with a new account of what had happened prior to her arrival as my cousin. We could continue on in character and ignore the time that we had spent as grown ups.

We are learning, and that's been our best effort yet.

- - - Updated - - -

Hi LittlePony.

Sorry I took so long to answer your question. I read it at a time where I couldn't reply, meant to do so later, but promptly forgot! Just re-reading the responses and remembered

No big secret about how we met. She is the classic friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend thing. She lives in my city, Perth, Western Australia, but lives quite a few miles away, about a 45 minute drive, although there are trains as well. She lived in my area many years ago, got married and moved. But she maintains contact with a couple of her old friends, who are friends of friends of mine.

First met her at our local pub in a group, and didn't pay much attention to her. She seemed nice, and was pretty enough, but our paths didn't cross. Met her again at a big BBQ held a a mutual friends house, and started talking. We chatted for ages, but nothing more. I heard afterwards that she did ask a few questions about me later though.....

Next time was a bus trip to the races. We had a ball, drank heaps, and basically spent the day together. That was the first time any mention of wetting occurred. She backed a winner and was jumping around excitedly, then said something like "Ooh, I'm going to wet my pants!" She didn't though, but my ears pricked up.

We swapped numbers, and the rest is history.

One of the factors in my reluctance I guess, is knowing we have mutual friends. I'd hate my secret kink to get found out amongst my peers. But every time I start to think like that, I guess the same would apply to her.

I'm trusting her more and more, and vice versa
 
That's the way it needs to be. I don't think any of us regress to a 'literal' age. We take a little from here and a little from there and combine it with the fact that we are grown up (physically).

Glad you had a great time.
 
This is such a cute story! All of it sounds lovely and it sounds like you two had a bunch of fun from start to end. I think that that improvising bit that you were talking about, with the ignoring the plot holes and ignoring the caretakers clothes - I think that's really smart, and a great way for you both to be able to play. I was smiling the whole time reading that - kinda just made me think 'cuuuuuuute!'

:D I'm looking forward to hearing more about you two, if you feel like sharing. It sounds so sweet.
 
Wow, sounds like you two had plenty fun!

Glad you broke the role barrier, by the way. But remember, although it's fun to "make sense of" different situations, neither of you necessarily need roles. I find it harder to adapt when "role swapping" so I just do whatever feels natural according to the situation. Of course, both role-play and have their respective benefits.
 
Wombat said:
Thanks for the advice Park and Wheelman as well.


I discovered that I could enjoy an age regression play time with another person, but it took more than just pretending to be little. We had to suspend belief and reality even beyond our ages. For it to work, flexibility was the key. We had to adapt to our fantasy, and be prepared for stuff such as time lines or even characters to not make sense. We needed to jump around with what happened, and just give in and wing it as the situation arose. For example, my "coming back from a friends house" just seemed to fit better for me while my we were suddenly seeing each other for the first time all day. It just seemed easier to gloss over all the stuff that had happened earlier, and make a fresh start with a new account of what had happened prior to her arrival as my cousin. We could continue on in character and ignore the time that we had spent as grown ups.....

I'm trusting her more and more, and vice versa


Sounds great Wombat! it seems like you are both gradually making good/healthy progress in your relationship! Don't give up, things like this are what make relationships so strong. I really identified with what you said about not thinking it would ever be awkward until you were actually *in* that position where you had the opportunity to talk about your likes/dislikes/fantasies etc. It always seems like it will be easier than it actually is. I went through a similar situation with my partner, however she never had ANY prior interest in ageplay and knew very little about the 'little' world, so its been quite a bump in the road for our relationship!
To try and show her how being little feels for me we did decide that it would be a good idea for me to try being her daddy for a while...and she really enjoyed it! but what I thought was even weirder is that I enjoyed it too :) Now from time to time she likes to feel little and looked after so I like to help her feel that way when I can (She doesn't enjoy wearing nappys though.. that's a bit too much for her, she *does* enjoy seeing and changing me into one though). However 9 times out of 10 I'm the little one and she's mummy.

But you're both clearly good at communicating with eachother and thats the key! You also mentioned "self-psychology" which has been a huge help for me, using self-psychology I've been able to communicate to my girlfriend why I am the way I am, and how being little is such a big part of me and makes me who I am - thats made it much easier for her to understand and accept me. She's been great.

I have a wee blog I ramble on now and again and coincidentally this was the topic of a recent post :) https://peterslittlesecret.wordpress.com/2015/06/05/the-art-of-talking/?preview_id=41
It's not award winning, but it's just a place I post things about how I'm feeling.

Anyway, I'll leave it there, but really good to hear things are working out :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top