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Thread: Lamenting The Need

  1. #1

    Default Lamenting The Need

    I've been in diapers since childhood on and off. I've fought the dribbles and leaks. I've been to the doctor who said any attempt at fixing it would be worse than the problem. I've faced the questioning of grownups who thought I was crazy (might it be all in my head?) I've experienced the joy, comfort, peace, and security of being diapered. I've been through the binge-purge cycle many times and found stability and loving friends and family who know about my diaper needs. I've chatted, talked, conferred, etc. online for more than a decade now. I should have this all figured out.

    And most days I do. Most days I go along with life without a problem. Being diapered much of the time is my reality, and it will likely never change, and I'm living a great life. That's the good news for all of us - it can be done!

    Then, though, there are still the moments that I pause to lament. There are still the times when I realize that what I must do is considered shameful or weird in the eyes of many. There are times I wish I didn't have to do what I have to do to get by.

    Then I also realize what wearing diapers has taught me. I am not so judgmental of others. I have compassion. I do my best to be understanding. I have learned to adapt and be thoughtful of the needs of myself and others. I have been forced to learn a lot about myself and my needs, what is truly important, and how to relate to others with courtesy.

    So no matter where you are in your diaper or little needs, discovery, or self-understanding, know that it is OK to celebrate and also OK to be bummed out sometimes. There are likely many good days ahead, and a few lousy ones, too. Not one of us gets it right all the time, and we walk through this together. Thanks to this community for your support.

  2. #2

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    It must be hard to explain to people the notion that diapers are necessary for you because the alternatives happen to be way worse. Especially if a doctor says any attempt to fix it would be worse then the problem. I would recommend that the next time someone questions whether or not you should try to manage your IC issues with something other then diapers remind them of just how nasty the side effects can get for you personally. Saying that along with the fact that a doctor said it was a bad idea in a non-confrontational humble but confident tone of voice certainly gets them thinking. It's hard to argue with someone who happens to have a degree in some appropriate medical field(in this case your doctor) when they say it's a bad idea because doctors tend to know what they are talking about usually. Using diapers for any reason is not a sign of being immature nor is it a sign of being mature either. It's just a medical issue. Since when does being made out of flesh and blood susceptible to disease and injury make someone immature? That's like saying being human is somehow immature after which makes no one mature by that standard if they are sentient at that point. Maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in a appropriate manner not a ill informed societal concept that is thoroughly debunked most comprehensively and independently years ago.

  3. #3

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    It seems to me that any medical problem needs to be addressed, and if diapers are a practical resolution to being incontinent, then you shouldn't feel bad about wearing them, and the fact that you do wear and need diapers is no one else's business.

    Everyone has something in which they must cope. My wife is diabetic and I get her on her dialysis machine 5 nights a week. This is not a simple procedure, and there are alarms that go off on the machine. We both are trained in how do resolve these problems in order to make the machine continue to dialyze, but it can be very frustrating and worrisome.

    In addition, she had to have her right leg amputated below the knee, late September. Now she is learning to use her prosthetic as her stump toughens up. I've dealt with a lot of wound care regarding her feet and now, stump. We all eventually have health issues and we have to find ways to deal with them, and still strive toward a normal life. I've learned to ignore the looks and stares from some people when we role into a store or a restaurant. Most people are very nice and accepting.

    You should realize that most people, should they see a diaper bulge, will realize that you must need them, and they too will be accepting. The reality is, there but for the grace of God may go you or I. In reality, bad things happen to good people, but we find ways to cope. You'll make it, and you'll find a way to accept it with grace, over time. Good luck.

  4. #4
    Nessus

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    Quote Originally Posted by BachBrahms View Post
    Then, though, there are still the moments that I pause to lament. There are still the times when I realize that what I must do is considered shameful or weird in the eyes of many. There are times I wish I didn't have to do what I have to do to get by.

    Then I also realize what wearing diapers has taught me. I am not so judgmental of others. I have compassion. I do my best to be understanding. I have learned to adapt and be thoughtful of the needs of myself and others. I have been forced to learn a lot about myself and my needs, what is truly important, and how to relate to others with courtesy.

    I cut these two bits out of your message because I really want to drive home that if what you are doing is considered shameful or weird in the eyes of others then, as long as you are not morally or ethically wrong, it is their problem. It reflects on them, not on you. As was said lower in the thread most good people will simply assume you need them for a medical reason if you do not go out of your way to make them think otherwise.

    And I really liked what you said after that. I have learned through my recent return how therapeutic diapers can be for helping me cope with my recent life change event, and it also, as you said, causes me to be more tolerant and accepting of others. It is all good.

    I like your way of looking at things there. It is a very healthy and open view indeed!

  5. #5

    Default

    BachBrahms,

    I'm in a similar situation to you. I have an overactive bladder and urge incontinence. Trying to use the toilet instead of wearing a diaper requires careful attention to the location of toilets wherever I am and the well justified worry that I may not make it in time and thus end up in wet pants. Wearing a diaper greatly simplifies my life and enables me not to obsess about my bladder and its wayward ways. However, I've also encountered people who do not understand the way I choose to handle my situation. It's something you have to cope with. I also think needing to wear a diaper has made me a more compassionate person and less willing to judge others harshly.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BachBrahms View Post
    I've been in diapers since childhood on and off. I've fought the dribbles and leaks. I've been to the doctor who said any attempt at fixing it would be worse than the problem. I've faced the questioning of grownups who thought I was crazy (might it be all in my head?) I've experienced the joy, comfort, peace, and security of being diapered. I've been through the binge-purge cycle many times and found stability and loving friends and family who know about my diaper needs. I've chatted, talked, conferred, etc. online for more than a decade now. I should have this all figured out.

    And most days I do. Most days I go along with life without a problem. Being diapered much of the time is my reality, and it will likely never change, and I'm living a great life. That's the good news for all of us - it can be done!

    Then, though, there are still the moments that I pause to lament. There are still the times when I realize that what I must do is considered shameful or weird in the eyes of many. There are times I wish I didn't have to do what I have to do to get by.

    Then I also realize what wearing diapers has taught me. I am not so judgmental of others. I have compassion. I do my best to be understanding. I have learned to adapt and be thoughtful of the needs of myself and others. I have been forced to learn a lot about myself and my needs, what is truly important, and how to relate to others with courtesy.

    So no matter where you are in your diaper or little needs, discovery, or self-understanding, know that it is OK to celebrate and also OK to be bummed out sometimes. There are likely many good days ahead, and a few lousy ones, too. Not one of us gets it right all the time, and we walk through this together. Thanks to this community for your support.
    This is pretty much exactly my life. Thank you for putting it into words. Quite honestly I don't know what I'd be able to do if I couldn't wear diapers. Yes, there are times when I wish I didn't have to, but why get down about it. I am generally happy and understand my situation well. My biggest wish is to be friends with someone else who shares that understanding. I'm married with a few close friends and many not-so-close friends. I don't think any of them would be able to comprehend your post as well as myself and probably many others on this site. It's too bad many of us don't actually know each other.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by BachBrahms View Post
    There are still the times when I realize that what I must do is considered shameful or weird in the eyes of many. There are times I wish I didn't have to do what I have to do to get by.
    Hi BB I have felt the same way as you to many times to count! First there was dread, then acceptance and now there are times I look in the mirror and give myself a good laugh thinking to myself, Yup! That's you ........... standing there in a diaper. Aren't you sexy. Can't understand why some lucky girl hasn't scooped you up yet! LOL! What? I know I'm not the only girl who has conversations with herself in the mirror.

  8. #8
    Adultbaby
    Diaper Lover
    Babyfur
    Diaperfur
    Sissy / LG
    Little
    Incontinent
    Caretaker
    vaanatffxii's Avatar

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    I'd like to personally thank you for this contribution to the community. It helped me find solace in my disability. I'm sorry I don't have anything to contribute in return aside from my gratitude.

    Cheers mate,
    Alaester Nikolai Modern.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by MandyBear View Post
    Hi BB I have felt the same way as you to many times to count! First there was dread, then acceptance and now there are times I look in the mirror and give myself a good laugh thinking to myself, Yup! That's you ........... standing there in a diaper. Aren't you sexy. Can't understand why some lucky girl hasn't scooped you up yet! LOL! What? I know I'm not the only girl who has conversations with herself in the mirror.
    LOL. How true.

  9. #9

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