Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: A house divided.....

  1. #1

    Default A house divided.....

    Hey, it's me again. I've been debating weather to post this or not but here goes. I've been trying to not let my fantasies effect my lifestyle, but it just isn't working, my brain fells like a house divided, and it's effecting my lifestyle, which I don't want. Also I looked up, that I want to be little, and it lead me to Borderline Personally disorder, which I'm not saying I have, but I fell it makes sence that I may have it, due to previous experience, and it is hard, because I live with my grandmother, and you and I know how hard that is, anyway I dropped from 1 class this semester, and my grandmother wants me to drop another, anyway my brain fells like a house divided and I don't really want that, I want my fantasies to not effect my life but I don't know how, what should I do?

  2. #2

    Default

    I've never yet heard of an association between borderline and ABDL fantasies. From what I know of BPD it involves very reckless behavior, such as having unprotected sex with many partners, doing hardcore drugs, spending tons of money you don't have to spend, suddenly quitting your job, becoming violent with people, etc. It's kind of the opposite of what most of us would associate with ABs and a "little" mindset, where we want to not engage in this extreme, very adult, and very dangerous behavior. I don't know your history or anything so I don't know if these things apply to you or not. Whether or not you have BPD, if you're going around engaging in any of those dangerous behaviors listed above you should seek some kind of help from a professional. Truthfully, the desire to "go little" is pretty much exactly ABDL and that's about it. I can't think of any psychological phenomenon that has that as a symptom. There can always be things working together, but I'm pretty positive the "go little" desire is only ABDL and nothing else.

    If you're just concerned about trying to find a balance between being little and being a regular adult, it basically just involves allowing yourself to indulge in a certain amount of AB / Little time and not repressing yourself. When you're repressing desires that's what they get you the most. I don't usually buy chocolate ice cream but if someone told me I couldn't have chocolate ice cream for 5 years it would be all I would think about when at the ice cream parlor (by which I mean DQ), you know? The best method I have for balancing little time and adult time is to allow yourself the little time. It will naturally go in waves. Sometimes, you'll have strong desires for being AB a lot, and other times you may go many months without really caring about it. I am guessing from your post that you're feeling the need very strongly now. So allow yourself some extra time, and don't obsess over it or force yourself not to. Sadly, your fantasies are going to affect your life in some way. Being ABDL is not really something that goes away, especially not when forced. We're all a little bit odd for being ABDL and that's okay. There's benefits, too. A lot of us are less judgmental of other people due to our own obscure desire. A lot of us can "think like a child" which is really great for creativity and ingenious ideas. It's not all bad... or all good, obviously! But if you get to a place of full acceptance it won't be a big deal. You'll engage in AB activities sometimes, and it will be just fine.

    As for classes, isn't it already nearly summer break? I only have 2 weeks more of classes myself. I don't think you can drop a class this late. I'm not sure what else to say about that.

    The divided thing comes from part of you not accepting the ABDL part of you. Once you accept you're ABDL, and love yourself anyway, you'll soon feel much more at peace.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    I've never yet heard of an association between borderline and ABDL fantasies. From what I know of BPD it involves very reckless behavior, such as having unprotected sex with many partners, doing hardcore drugs, spending tons of money you don't have to spend, suddenly quitting your job, becoming violent with people, etc. It's kind of the opposite of what most of us would associate with ABs and a "little" mindset, where we want to not engage in this extreme, very adult, and very dangerous behavior. I don't know your history or anything so I don't know if these things apply to you or not. Whether or not you have BPD, if you're going around engaging in any of those dangerous behaviors listed above you should seek some kind of help from a professional. Truthfully, the desire to "go little" is pretty much exactly ABDL and that's about it. I can't think of any psychological phenomenon that has that as a symptom. There can always be things working together, but I'm pretty positive the "go little" desire is only ABDL and nothing else.
    No nothing like the alcohol or nothing illegal, but I fell I have been sabotaging my life, and getting more violent.



    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    If you're just concerned about trying to find a balance between being little and being a regular adult, it basically just involves allowing yourself to indulge in a certain amount of AB / Little time and not repressing yourself. When you're repressing desires that's what they get you the most. I don't usually buy chocolate ice cream but if someone told me I couldn't have chocolate ice cream for 5 years it would be all I would think about when at the ice cream parlor (by which I mean DQ), you know? The best method I have for balancing little time and adult time is to allow yourself the little time. It will naturally go in waves. Sometimes, you'll have strong desires for being AB a lot, and other times you may go many months without really caring about it. I am guessing from your post that you're feeling the need very strongly now. So allow yourself some extra time, and don't obsess over it or force yourself not to. Sadly, your fantasies are going to affect your life in some way. Being ABDL is not really something that goes away, especially not when forced. We're all a little bit odd for being ABDL and that's okay. There's benefits, too. A lot of us are less judgmental of other people due to our own obscure desire. A lot of us can "think like a child" which is really great for creativity and ingenious ideas. It's not all bad... or all good, obviously! But if you get to a place of full acceptance it won't be a big deal. You'll engage in AB activities sometimes, and it will be just fine.
    It's true but still I have no time to do it because my free time, is divided between appointments, schedules, and I have no time.



    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    As for classes, isn't it already nearly summer break? I only have 2 weeks more of classes myself. I don't think you can drop a class this late. I'm not sure what else to say about that.
    Yes it is, but the drop date in my college is the 6th of May, even so I want to do better although I'm nor sure how.



    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    The divided thing comes from part of you not accepting the ABDL part of you. Once you accept you're ABDL, and love yourself anyway, you'll soon feel much more at peace.
    I'm trying but it's difficult when my inner critic tells me "You can't be both a little girl and a adult male" and I honestly feel that my brother ruins my lifestyle, and my mind Gets so scattered when I get stressed.

  4. #4

    Default

    Maybe it would help to know that the very fact you can sort of disagree with yourself on this topic (want to accept, but part of you denies accepting) is the same reason you CAN be both a little girl and an adult man. Our minds are like a congress of ideas. I disagree with myself, too. I can debate a topic with myself! Most people can, if they want to try it out. You're not just this one thing, no one is.

    But I am sorry you have no free time right now, I know that's the worst. Usually when I'm super busy I don't even think about going little because I'm too busy! Heh, but I may have it easy then in that situation. I guess the best thing to do for now, if you cannot use diapers or dresses or supplies is just to imagine it, put yourself in that mindframe, maybe before you go to sleep at night or for a few minutes you have here and there. Maybe that can help ease the tension.

  5. #5

    Default

    If you had an inoperable, benign, brain tumor that caused ABDL desires and allowed pleasure centers in the brain to activate from ABDL activities, would that satisfy your inner critic (guilt) as to why you engage in this behavior?

    My research leads me to believe the causes of most fetishes are more physical than psychological, though not actually tumors. I know this sounds kind of heretical in our age of pop-psychology but I really believe it is true, and there is sound research to support this view. While the causes of ABDL desire are not psychological the effects certainly are. People are always talking about 'acceptance'. There are two things you have to accept if you and your inner critic are to live in peace. One is that you do not have the power to eliminate these desires. Your guilt shouldn't be wasted on things like this that are not your fault and that you have no control over. If you have a moral obligation here it would be to avoid wasting time trying to make this desire go away.

    The other thing is, you have personal desires and social desires just like everyone else, but some of your personal desires are not socially acceptable so you have this inner conflict. Consider those two things, desires vs acceptance, to be more or less permanent fixtures in your life that you have virtually no control over, but the conflict between them is a mental state that you do have some control over by reasoning things out. Don't feel guilty about hiding some things from society because we, as official members of society, expect that kind of consideration from you. If you have a social obligation here it isn't to stop indulging in harmless activity. It is to reasonably avoid offending society when possible.

    What concerns me is the violence thing. If you feel yourself slipping towards violence please talk to someone who can help.

  6. #6

    Default

    Hitting on what Drifter said, there are many different causes and reasons for feeling or expressing violence. Violence in Borderline Personality would probably feel differently than the violent feelings we may get from not having things in life work out for us.

    Borderline refers to bordering schizophrenia in some of it's aspects. As a kid, I would hear voices, but they never formalized for me. On very rare occasions, I still will hear an almost buzzing of voices in my head. As soon as I try to understand what they're saying, it goes away. It doesn't bother me, and to some extent, I find it amusing. I have the luxury of doing that because it's a rare occasion, and doesn't keep happening over and over again. If it did, I could see were it would be disturbing.

    I suspect that you are just frustrated and overwhelmed. There's probably a lot that you're carrying at the moment, tests and projects all soon to be due. It's never easy, so try to take a breath and relax. The most productive thing you can do is study, study, study. The more prepared you are for your upcoming tests, the better you'll do and the better you'll feel.

    As for feeling guilty over diapers and sexual identity, I think Drifter gave very good advise. It's caused by something that is beyond your control, so you simply learn how to live with it. Even with my background of Borderline P., I learned how to cope and live with it. I changed a lot of my lifestyle and tried to live as normally as I could. It's worked well for me.

    I'm sure your college or university has counselors, so you might make an appointment with one of them. They're there to serve and help you. I wish you the best in all of this.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    Maybe it would help to know that the very fact you can sort of disagree with yourself on this topic (want to accept, but part of you denies accepting) is the same reason you CAN be both a little girl and an adult man. Our minds are like a congress of ideas. I disagree with myself, too. I can debate a topic with myself! Most people can, if they want to try it out. You're not just this one thing, no one is.

    But I am sorry you have no free time right now, I know that's the worst. Usually when I'm super busy I don't even think about going little because I'm too busy! Heh, but I may have it easy then in that situation. I guess the best thing to do for now, if you cannot use diapers or dresses or supplies is just to imagine it, put yourself in that mindframe, maybe before you go to sleep at night or for a few minutes you have here and there. Maybe that can help ease the tension.
    I will try, also I do have diapers, but the rest of the stuff is expensive.



    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    If you had an inoperable, benign, brain tumor that caused ABDL desires and allowed pleasure centers in the brain to activate from ABDL activities, would that satisfy your inner critic (guilt) as to why you engage in this behavior?

    My research leads me to believe the causes of most fetishes are more physical than psychological, though not actually tumors. I know this sounds kind of heretical in our age of pop-psychology but I really believe it is true, and there is sound research to support this view. While the causes of ABDL desire are not psychological the effects certainly are. People are always talking about 'acceptance'. There are two things you have to accept if you and your inner critic are to live in peace. One is that you do not have the power to eliminate these desires. Your guilt shouldn't be wasted on things like this that are not your fault and that you have no control over. If you have a moral obligation here it would be to avoid wasting time trying to make this desire go away.

    The other thing is, you have personal desires and social desires just like everyone else, but some of your personal desires are not socially acceptable so you have this inner conflict. Consider those two things, desires vs acceptance, to be more or less permanent fixtures in your life that you have virtually no control over, but the conflict between them is a mental state that you do have some control over by reasoning things out. Don't feel guilty about hiding some things from society because we, as official members of society, expect that kind of consideration from you. If you have a social obligation here it isn't to stop indulging in harmless activity. It is to reasonably avoid offending society when possible.

    What concerns me is the violence thing. If you feel yourself slipping towards violence please talk to someone who can help.
    Thanks and I will.



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Hitting on what Drifter said, there are many different causes and reasons for feeling or expressing violence. Violence in Borderline Personality would probably feel differently than the violent feelings we may get from not having things in life work out for us.

    Borderline refers to bordering schizophrenia in some of it's aspects. As a kid, I would hear voices, but they never formalized for me. On very rare occasions, I still will hear an almost buzzing of voices in my head. As soon as I try to understand what they're saying, it goes away. It doesn't bother me, and to some extent, I find it amusing. I have the luxury of doing that because it's a rare occasion, and doesn't keep happening over and over again. If it did, I could see were it would be disturbing.

    I suspect that you are just frustrated and overwhelmed. There's probably a lot that you're carrying at the moment, tests and projects all soon to be due. It's never easy, so try to take a breath and relax. The most productive thing you can do is study, study, study. The more prepared you are for your upcoming tests, the better you'll do and the better you'll feel.

    As for feeling guilty over diapers and sexual identity, I think Drifter gave very good advise. It's caused by something that is beyond your control, so you simply learn how to live with it. Even with my background of Borderline P., I learned how to cope and live with it. I changed a lot of my lifestyle and tried to live as normally as I could. It's worked well for me.

    I'm sure your college or university has counselors, so you might make an appointment with one of them. They're there to serve and help you. I wish you the best in all of this.
    I will try, and I think it is due to stressing myself to death.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thanks for that all of you, I feel I had a good day, and you have all given me some good advice, I also prayed and relaxed today and I'm going to study later on, anyway thanks for that, also my grandmother helped yesterday too.

Similar Threads

  1. Poll: What decade had the most gender divided toys?
    By kitterdafoxy in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-Apr-2015, 08:26
  2. Hello! from a man divided by himself
    By grim in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 18-Nov-2010, 21:39

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.