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Thread: what to do if your 99 percent certain you've found another abdl

  1. #1

    Default what to do if your 99 percent certain you've found another abdl

    As a long time lurker and rare poster I'd like to pose a question to the community

    So by some strange coincidence it would appear one of the guys I'm sharing a house with and have known for a while is to some degree an abdl - a little background:

    Occasionally recently I had on my way home from work noticed a clear trash bag with cuddlz nappies (on collection day where here bags are just left on the Street - not entirely certain how I noticed in the first place) and had for a while been wondering who they belonged to. Now it seems I have an answer yesterday on my way home from work I encountered my flat mate coming down the stairs with a clear trash bag in which my attuned mind spotted some adult nappies. Just to be sure I wasn't mad I then took a walk later and wandered past the bag, which a cursory glance confirmed contained at least 2 tenas and an abena. I feel this coupled with the cuddlz I had seen before is beyond the realm of someone who merely has a medical problem.

    So how do I broach the subject given that we almost never have time when it is just the 2 of us in the house. Is a text message out of the blue too abrupt ? What else might I consider?

    Thanks in advance for any input
    Last edited by aes1; 21-Apr-2015 at 09:15. Reason: bad grammar

  2. #2
    Adultbaby
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    vaanatffxii's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by aes1 View Post
    As a long time lurker and rare poster I'd like to pose a question to the community

    So by some strange coincidence it would appear one of the guys I'm sharing a house with and have known for a while is to some degree an abdl - a little background:

    Occasionally recently I had on my way home from work noticed a clear trash bag with cuddlz nappies (on collection day where here bags are just left on the Street - not entirely certain how I noticed in the first place) and had for a while been wondering who they belonged to. Now it seems I have an answer yesterday on my way home from work I encountered my flat mate coming down the stairs with a clear trash bag in which my attuned mind spotted some adult nappies. Just to be sure I wasn't mad I then took a walk later and wandered past the bag, which a cursory glance confirmed contained at least 2 tenas and an abena. I feel this coupled with the cuddlz I had seen before is beyond the realm of someone who merely has a medical problem.

    So how do I broach the subject given that we almost never have time when it is just the 2 of us in the house. Is a text message out of the blue too abrupt ? What else might I consider?

    Thanks in advance for any input
    I know it's hard for people like us, but you need to approach this tentatively with tact, and not over text; text him saying (word it how you would, but say basically this) "Hey dude, we gotta talk. Let grab a bite sometime?" Get him to meet with you somewhere with just the two of you, drive-thru would work pretty well, as you'd be in a car, ensuring isolation with just you two. That way, you can ask him your questions without fear of him *not responding to texts*. LOL. But let him know right off the bat that you aren't going look down upon him for the possible outcome of the questions. Once you begin asking him the questions, they'll actually start flowing out a bit easier. Don't be too nervous, as how you act to start is how he will act throughout. So, keep it light but direct, supportive but inquisitive, and if need be that you tell him of your own involvement early, do it; that is the end goal, right?

    I hope this has been helpful as far as advice goes. Buona Fortuna.

    Cheers mate,
    Alaester Nikolai Modern.

  3. #3

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    Hai!!

    Well, you've brought a very interesting topic to the table. I think the cuddlz diaper is an indication that there is something going on. I would agree vaanatfxii, a text message is to harsh, because you sometimes don't get the tone right. i think you should do what he said, ask him to go with you for a bite or a coffee. Make him know that you are an open minded person and you like him as a person and won't judge him. Then ask subtlety if he has a medical problem, and if that is not the case, ask him about the diapers. He might get nervous, a lot, but try to reassure him that everything is okay and you just want to be a good friend. If you need to, tell him about your own ABDL tendencies. The idea is for him to feel supported and you to establish connection.

    Let us know how it goes!

  4. #4

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    Well it certainly isn't just a medical situation, not with printed diapers involved. There is the slight chance that it once was and he is just experimenting with different diapers, and doesn't know he is actually a bit of an Adult Baby, might not even know much about our community. I think, if anything, rather than asking him if he is an Adult Baby, just admit to him that you are. It would certainly be a better thing than having him be the center of attention. Just go up to him and say, "I want to talk to you about something. It might be kind of weird to hear, but I feel like I need some supporting friends and that I need to embrace this part of my life, so I wanted to admit to a few people that I am an Adult Baby." Or something of that style. Then if he is an Adult baby, he will probably admit it, otherwise, he will probably sympathize and say, "Oh yeah? Well that is interesting, I am actually incontinent, and I have tried out some adult baby diapers out of curiosity."

    I really cant imagine any other scenarios. Be sure to report what happens.

  5. #5

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    Perhaps the first thing to do is be a little more obvious when you know he's going to see you taking out YOUR trash. Its also possible that he's already figured YOU out, and that's what he was doing with the clear trash bags.

    Given that there are others unaware in the flat, I don't know that coming out to him buys either of you anything other than the occasional wink and nod.

  6. #6

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    I too, think it's odd that he is so indiscreet with disposal...clear bags he's obviously not paranoid, so I think you could even just casually mention that you've noticed adult nappies in his trash. Let him know that you don't think its weird or anything just that you've noticed. I wouldn't go any further than that to begin with, but once the ice is broken you could introduce conversation like you've come across ABDL online. There's always room to broaden the conversation, but once you've spilled your secret, it's out there. And he may just be partially incontinent.

  7. #7

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    Be casual and not forceful about approaching him. Clear bags, he's clearly not ashamed about it.. which I find quite respectable.

  8. #8

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    You take them down to the Altruist cult and collect one thousand dollars.

    Then you go to the clerb and get turnt up, dawg.

  9. #9

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    If there'are 90% of clues, so ask... B ut: First insure yourself if it's not "nightmare pissing..." Did you found out some another AB(DL) or BDSM stuff ? More than 90%...

  10. #10

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    This happens because everyone in the whole world is AB/DL. More seriously, what are the odds? I had another odd thought. What if he's gay, and now you're inviting him out to lunch? This just gets better and better. I think ozbub is right about the clear bags. He may already know about you and this is his way of approaching the subject.

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