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Thread: Feeling inadequate

  1. #1

    Default Feeling inadequate

    First off let me say that my boyfriend is AWESOME, loving, kind, caring, etc. He is a AB/DL and I generally don't have a problem with it and I try to cater to his needs, but sometimes it gets overwhelming and a bit more than I can take. Generally I can take him needing to be little only so many days in a row, but sometimes I need a break and he is usually pretty good about being big for me every couple of days, but sometime he pushes it too long.

    Then there's the probably of while catering to his needs I get turned on, but can't get satisfied because that takes him out of his little mode. Also while he's in big mode I have to be careful what I do or I will send him into little mode and then I just end up being frustrated and inadequate.

    I just need some help coping.

  2. #2


    Welcome TwoSocks! This looks like your first post. It's a common question/issue. We are a support community. For starters you might want to read this: Article

  3. #3


    I would have to say that you both have to figure out each other's limits. You have to voice your opinions about it. You've taken sacrifices, he can do the same. This is what a relationship is all about. While I think you feel that you'd be somewhat of a hypocrite, you've done something that many of us would love to have which is acceptance from a significant other.

    You could look into some types of role play to be involved. He's obviously somewhat submissive, and maybe you can be the more dominant one. You can experiment with different roles and what not.

    AB/DLs tend to have some what of an arousal towards diapers. You can experiment with the diapers and not include the little aspect of it, because some just can't handle the thought of it and it doesn't work with their significant others. Maybe you could wear diapers and present yourself to him and maybe he would come out of his little persona for that.

    If you want to try something like this just remember to let the stigma of diapers, being for babies, out the window. For some of us, we use the diapers for sexual reasons. It doesn't involve children but that stigma is there because of early childhood and being told diapers are for babies. It's why this is so shameful for us.

    Another thing to know is that some of us are asexual. These types do not have any sexual arousal at all towards anything.

    You also have a right to be happy in this relationship so if I'm going down a different path than what you're intending. Perhaps you want that adult companionship and have time to hangout, outside of your sex lives, you just need to talk to him. Make him aware of your feelings. Communication will only improve things for the both of you.

  4. #4


    Howdy TwoSocks and Welcome! I can't think of anything useful to add to what MeTaLMaNN 1983 has so eloquently expressed. A lot of good advice from all of the respondents here! I hope that through communication with your boyfriend, you both can come to some common ground that will be a mutual compromise of things that BOTH of you are comfortable with and that your relationship will continue to flourish. I wish you both all the best and good luck!

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