as others have said, "give it time". I'll add a bit to that though. "and practice." Your bladder
isn't shy about your bed, it's shy about you being in an unfamiliar situation. The shyness can apply to some degree in many other situations. In public, riding in a car, DRIVING a car, sitting, walking, climbing stairs, etc.
I had a morbidly shy bladder up until a few years ago when I really got into wearing diapers. I couldn't use a public restroom unless there was no one in it, and sometimes not even if I could hear others outside the restroom, my bladder would just not cooperate, and it had to be in a stall. So this has been "diaper therapy" for me in a way, as I recognized my problem wetting while laying down was the same problem of public restrooms. Relaxing one would help the other.
My first step was simply being able to wet my diaper at all, in any situation. A few have posted about needing to be standing in front of the toilet - that included me at the start. I was gradually able to get at least a bit out while standing in other places, in the kitchen or bedroom etc. Then later while I had pants on. By this time, it had become very easy to go while at the toilet though. I could see work in one area helps the other areas too. It's not just about getting control in one situation, it's about increasing your overall control.
It took over a month of this "diaper training" before I was able to manage even a slow dribble (after 20 minutes of concentration!) while laying on my back in bed. Once I had a foot in the door, I kept practicing, and trying new situations. Wetting while standing outside. (dressed of course!) Walking was particularly tricky, I still haven't mastererd that yet but I can do it if I concentrate and walk slowly. Wetting my diaper while walking up or down stairs is also difficult.
By this time I was trying to wet as spontaneously as possible. As in, lets say I'm in the kitchen dropping some dishes in the sink, and give them a shot of water from the tap. *urge* hits. The goal is to start wetting my diaper as quickly as possible. No need to fully empty my bladder, as once it's running I'm usually good. This is just practice, and so I wouldn't wet much, that way I could get another one of those urges to come up again without waiting so long - more practice per day! When I started this, I fould it took sometimes a minute or two to stop what I was doing, relax, concentrate, and get going. Today I can crack the tap in under 10 seconds on the average, and that
really helps reinforce bladder control for me.
I don't often ride in someone else's car, but after awhile I was able to start wetting my diaper if I was stopped at a very long red light. Nowadays, I consider waiting for a stop to be "cheating", and make my best effort to wet while on the move. Rough roads can be
very challenging, all that jarring really jams my concentration and makes my bladder clench up. I don't know when I'll be able to wet my diaper while running. (distance runners regularly wet their shorts while running in competitions so they don't have to stop - with all the water they're drinking the urine's mostly clear anyway - for the life of me I don't understand how they have that level of control)
With all this diaper training, wetting my diaper while in bed has become very easy to do. And I can use public restrooms too. I managed to use a urinal with company present for the first time last year, I consider that quite an achievement, and
fully justifies my wearing diapers recreationally
Just keep at it. You'll get it.
