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Thread: Funny/Strange things you believed as a kid?

  1. #1

    Default Funny/Strange things you believed as a kid?

    I used to think that the phrase 'a round of applause' was 'a round of our claws', because we were slapping our claws together!

    I used to believe that the way the earth rotated meant that when I fell asleep at night, my bedroom would gradually go upside down, until my bed was on the ceiling, before returning to its normal position by the time I woke up.

    After watching a program about Minotaurs and Greek mythology at school, I was convinced for several months that there was a Minotaur in the bathroom, hiding behind the toilet. I clearly gave no thought to such logical issues as 'How would it fit?' and 'Why would it be there?'.

    As a 9 year old, I told my older brother that I thought sex was when "the woman puts her leg in the man's willy*." Ouch! (*British slang for penis).

    As a teenager, I was shocked to see a Ted Nugent album released, because of all the people he'd killed. It was explained to me that that was actually Ted Bundy.

    How about fellow ADISCers? Surely I wasn't the only one with a slightly eccentric imagination and an impractical concept of sex!

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanch View Post
    I used to think that the phrase 'a round of applause' was 'a round of our claws', because we were slapping our claws together!

    I used to believe that the way the earth rotated meant that when I fell asleep at night, my bedroom would gradually go upside down, until my bed was on the ceiling, before returning to its normal position by the time I woke up.
    Ha ha ha! Those are amazing!

    I used to think that people died of old-age at exactly 100 years old.

    And I remember being amazed when The Queen released a pop single! (Hey, the DJ said, "Here's a song from Queen"... What else is a five year old supposed to think?!)

  3. #3

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    Here's a few (Maybe...)

    1. I thought woman gave birth by defecating the baby out, and I thought sex was when people rubbed Land O' Lakes butter on each other (I really don't know what I was thinking or why it had to be that brand).

    2. I thought Floppy Disks were called Floppy Dicks, I even blurted out in radio shack that we needed more floppy dicks to the sales clerk, he had to leave the showroom floor because he couldn't keep his composure.

    3. I thought that bags were called Fa..., you get the picture. And I ended up yelling that out in the middle of Target in front of a gay couple.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    And I remember being amazed when The Queen released a pop single! (Hey, the DJ said, "Here's a song from Queen"... What else is a five year old supposed to think?!)
    That's superb! I'd love to see her release a few singles, especially if they were based on Queen songs. 'I want to ride my gold state coach...'.

  5. #5

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    I used to think that when people died in films, they actually died and were put in a special box and brought back to life

  6. #6

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    Oh! I remember being taken to school once (age 5 again) when it was icy out. My dad slipped on the ice and landed on his back. I just stared at him with my jaw on the floor in disbelief... "I... I... I didn't know grown-ups could fall over!", I exclaimed.

    Oh -- and I remember a flight to the US I was wearing a bodywarmer with "US Navy" written on it. As I got off the plane, an air hostess said, "Welcome back!" to me (presumably thinking I must be American). "Wow! Thank you!", I said in my English accent. I then turned to my dad, "Dad! They remember me from last year!".

    And on another flight, when my younger sister was about 5 or 6, they came round with a giant basket of boiled sweets before take-off. As my sister was in the aisle, right at the front of the cabin, the hostess walked up to her and offered her a sweet. My sister's face lit up and she almost screamed, "Ohhhh!!! Thank you!!!" with sheer excitement... and reached out and took the whole basket! She was NOT impressed when my mum explained that she was only allowed to take one sweet! The look on her face! Ha ha ha! The other passengers found it hilarious!

    Okay -- I'm sure this has happened to every kid, but once, in a restaurant, my dad pretended he didn't have any money to pay! Somehow the waiter got in on it... and the manager came out to join in the game... and before long everyone in the restaurant was chuckling and joining in. Eventually, my dad said we could do the washing up to pay. There was a pause of silence as I looked from table to table, my face falling more and more solemn as I surveyed the huge number of plates and dishes. I looked back at my father's face in disbelief... at which point the whole restaurant erupted into laughter and applause. I was soooooo confused! (But very relieved when I realised it was just a joke.)

  7. #7

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    I thought that in video games when you died or failed a mission all the characters would have to actually walk back to where they started instead of it just resetting.

  8. #8

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    Couple more I remembered:

    I used to think that the person who does announcements in elevators 'Doors Closing etc.' was actually saying it every time, and remember asking my brother how the announcer didn't get tired and need a sleep, as we were using the lift at like midnight!

    I also figured that you only pooped if you'd eaten something brown. I remember being freaked out that I'd been for a poo, and hadn't eaten any chocolate that day!

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanch View Post
    I used to think that the phrase 'a round of applause' was 'a round of our claws', because we were slapping our claws together!
    I keep reading that and chuckling to myself... and it made me think of one of my sister's lyrical mishearings...

    My family aren't religious, but for some reason we once ended up in a church for the Christmas ceremony. There were a few hymns sung, which were the same songs both me and my sister had to sing at school assembly every day. One of them, "Give me Oil in my Lamp" has the lyrics, "Sing hosanna! Sing hosanna! Sing, hosanna, to the king of kings!".

    My sister bellowed out (above all other voices), "Sing hosanna! Sing hosanna! Sing hosanna to the ping-pong ball!"

    I couldn't stop laughing! She had been singing those words in assembly for weeks! And no one had corrected her!

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Sanch View Post
    I also figured that you only pooped if you'd eaten something brown.
    Ha ha ha! That's soooo funny! I bet you gave your parents a few smiles when you were a kid!

  10. #10

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    When I was little, I saw commercials for Tucks Medicated Pads (for hemmorhoids). All they showed was someone striking a match and then putting it out with the pad. I was always puzzled as to why someone would use a special pad to put matches out. I thought that maybe they didn't like blowing them out because of all the smoke.

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