Santa,
I understand your situation. I really do. :hug:
This is my first ever post here on ADISC where I have admitted that I may have an understanding about being a sissy or finding my feminine side. I share the following from deep reflection and personal experience. :detective3
I am mostly a very masculine male on the outside and if you saw me you would not question my masculinity. I often have a very rugged appearance. I am a true cowboy and work with livestock, wear a cowboy hat, and live a lifestyle of being a cowboy, not just wearing cowboy clothes. I ride horses, work outside, get dirty, sweaty, and I am the iconic version of the American cowboy. I am a damn hard worker and love working hard. I also working out at the gym and enjoy building the "guy" image.
However, I too sometimes have found a softer (more feminine) side of my nature.
And I am not just talking about being a little. Yes, even the concept of being a little or being a "padded cowboy" seems an antonym for the masculine side of my nature. But it is there, none-the-less.
What you have shared about trying on girl's clothes or having some attraction to them, I do not believe means that you are a transgender or a girl. As with myself, there is an attraction to the softer side of things such as is often thought of being feminine. :sissy: But for me, that does not take away the fact that I am very much a man and most commonly would be thought of as such.
...Think about this for a moment. You are a male. That means you have both an X and an Y chromosome. Females are XX. If you recognize that the X chromosome is associated with females and Y as in male, then you have to acknowledge that males do have a component of the female X chromosome as well as the Y chromosome which is considered male.
I am not trying to engage in a deep philosophical or medical discussion, but the fact is that you have both a feminine and masculine chromosome within you. If you are honest with yourself, you will find that there is a place for both. Being attracted to pretty dresses doesn't necessarily make you a girl, but it seems normal that there is a part of you that may be attracted to this. After all, part of your genetic makeup has to be with the female X chromosome.
I do not identify myself as being a sissy, but doggone it, I am confessing here and now that there is a part of this damn rugged cowboy that (on occasion) likes things that are frilly, satin, and pretty. :sissy:
I challenge any male to be truly honest with themselves after a deep reflection and ask themselves if there is not some part deep within that can relate. My own belief is that most males run from this and build a fortress around those thoughts that is cannot be penetrated. As such, they would respond with a resounding, not just no, but HELL NO! As society and culture suggests this is not the norm. But if you go back through history, you find that actually much of the dress and adornment that is now considered feminine used to be worn by males. From skirts, to lace, to wigs, to long stockings, and powdered faces that was all original male attire. Hmm. Who would have thought?
So, this is something that I admit here for the first time is a part of who I am. Does that make me a sissy?
Well, because it is not who I usually am, I would say no, I am not. But is there part of me that can sometimes associate with this, then the answer is yes! :sissy:
Does it mean that there is a part of me that is more in tune to the X chromosome within me? Well, yes, probably so. But I am still a male and I am not ashamed that I have identified this other part of who I am. :detective3
I hope this can help you somewhat. As I said to begin with, I understand the struggle you may be going through, but rest assured, you are not abnormal at all. Rather, I believe you are recognizing what so many males in this world hide away from, which is the fact they are XY (female/male) and not YY (male/male). To my knowledge, there has never been a single instance of a person only possessing the Y chromosome without at least one X.
The important thing here is to accept who you are and not be concerned with what others may be thinking.
:smile1: You are you! That is a great thing! Do not worry about what others may think, but try to understand what makes you who you are and accept that. When you can get to that point of understanding, you will find that being in touch with this part of yourself makes you a better person overall!
:detective3 TeddyBear Cowboy