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Thread: Just came out

  1. #1

    Default Just came out

    So I just came out to my girlfriend about wearing diapers, and long story short, I am now single. She wasn't angry or anything, but she was weirded out. Luckily Ive known her for a long time and agreed to stay friends with me. I hope this is the right place to put this. I'm not looking for sympathy, I was just unhappy about her decision and needed a place to get it off my chest.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron681 View Post
    So I just came out to my girlfriend about wearing diapers, and long story short, I am now single. She wasn't angry or anything, but she was weirded out. Luckily Ive known her for a long time and agreed to stay friends with me. I hope this is the right place to put this. I'm not looking for sympathy, I was just unhappy about her decision and needed a place to get it off my chest.
    I'm sorry that things turned out so poorly. Since she still wants to remain friends, maybe she will eventually get over the weird part. It's a lot for someone to accept if they've had little to no experience with someone who enjoys diapers. Since you were in a relationship, you would have, or should have, eventually told her, so I think you did the right thing. Some SOs will understand and be accepting and some simply won't.

    I would give her some time and stay in touch. It's that first reveal that can be very shocking. After a few visits to Google, she may realize that there are others who are into this and that may make it a little easier to accept. So I guess what I'm saying is, don't entirely give up. Time may smooth the rough edges.

  3. #3

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    Yeah, i had hoped for that as well. I have known her for many years before we decided to go out, but i think what got her was the shock of it, because ours is not really a talked-about preference.

  4. #4

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    I'm sorry to hear this. Trust me, you're not the only one that's lost a relationship upon revealing the ABDL side. I lost a couple of relationships practically the instant the diapers were revealed.

    It hurts. I've always been of the mind that I should reveal early on, but even then it still hurts. When it feels like something's brewing, then suddenly it's done, that's not cool.

    But, I think there's some good in it, too. I maintain that in order for a relationship to be a viable, workable, sustainable thing, partners have to accept the particularly deep-seated and odd quirks their potential mate presents. I think it disastrous for a relationship if something integral to one partner's being is not accepted or, worse, is actively disliked or mocked by the other. And I feel ABDL desires fall into that realm. I mean, if the relationship is meant to last long-term, but you have to hide, bury, or otherwise get rid of something you feel is a core part of your being, then that relationship is doomed. At some point, you'll come to resent your partner because you want to wear diapers or do whatever thing, but they're holding you back.

    And that's no way to have a relationship.

    So, I empathize. I know how it feels, and it sucks. It sucks that when you start to feel a connection, that it's quashed. But, I maintain it's ultimately for the better. If they can't accept key aspects of you, then they can't accept you and they're not the right mate for you.

    Chin up. I know it hurts now, but better this and now than spending years or more with someone that doesn't accept you for you.

  5. #5

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    Maybe there where other aspects that made her leave you, so that the diaper thing was only the obvious excuse?

    When I started having accidents and began wearing diapers I was 100% open about it to my wife, well not excatly in the beginning, but I think she knew when she padded my buttom and you could tell that there was a diaper underneath. Anyway I told her that I would rather wear a wet diaper, than wet pants, and she agreed that it was the best way.
    However I still tried other means of dealing with my incontinence, medication, excercises, condom caths nothing worked as good as the diaper. I refused surgery from the beginning as there are some sideeffects which can happen from it.
    So in the end here I am a man in he's best age diapered up again.
    I know my wife sometimes don't like it, but it's getting more and more rare that she mention anything, so basicaly I think she have come to terms with the fact, that she lives with a diapered husband.

    Hold out, and look for a girl who is not scared off by diapers, but truly loves you for the person you are, and not just for an image she pretend you are!

  6. #6
    MarchinBunny

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    Let me tell you this, and trust me when I say this. If someone truly loves you, they absolutely will eventually accept it. The fact she wants to remain friends can be good or bad. It can be good because it might mean she actually still likes you, and simply is weirded out a bit and unsure at the moment. It could be bad, because maybe she doesn't actually have any problem with the ab/dl thing, but she just used it as an excuse to break up with you.

    I think the only thing you can really do at this moment is to just respect her wishes, remain friends and wait to see what happens. If nothing, at least you still have a good friend. :3

  7. #7

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    I've lost friends because of admitting my AB lifestyle. Luckily, my girlfriend accepted me completely. She was weirded out a bit at first, but quickly became accustomed to the idea. I took a huge risk by telling her. It could have turned ugly, but thank goodness it didn't. It's definitely a decision you have to think about carefully before you come out.

  8. #8

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    Took me alot of stress and upset before I came out to my girlfriend, luckily for me she was accepting and the acceptance has grown more since the coming out bit. My last relationship however I knew I could never come out, and that made me so unhappy. At least you get to keep your friend and you never know if she may come back after she has a moment to think about it. My first proper girlfriend sort of found out when I was much younger, I had ordered some free samples as I couldn't buy any and stupidly left a photo on my phone that I took to see what it looked like and she found it. Of course she freaked out and we didn't properly speak for a few days. About a week later she came to me and apologised for freaking out and told me she had done some reading and yeah, she was willing to accept it. We broke up anyway later on for different reasons but what i'm trying to say is don't completely lose hope. But if someone truly loves you they will accept it, they may want to have some input / "rules" and with my current relationship we have that and it works perfectly.

    Keep your chin up

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