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Thread: I came out, and my mom blew up

  1. #1

    Default I came out, and my mom blew up

    I told her I was going to buy a diaper cover, and that she shouldn't open the mail when it came, and she blew up about it -- she said I was "wasting" my money on diapers (then asked if I was using THEIR money on Diapers, which I'm not) and told me it was disgusting at least eight times, and that she wants me to "only use the toilet from now on. You're not a baby!" I told her I couldn't help the way I felt and she said "YOU CAN HELP IT MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU CAN!"

    I know I shouldn't listen to her but I am still living in her house. I'm a student in school so I can't really go anywhere either. :c Advice?

    Highlights of her rant:

    "Why would you want to pee in your diapers like a little baby?!"

    "You're wasting money on DIAPERS! Think about it for a minute!"

    "They STINK! Nobody even wants little baby diapers around. You're an adult, that makes it worse!"

    "I hope you're not using our money for diapers! Here we are covering your food and gas, and instead of clothes, you buy diapers!"

    Is she right? I don't have many clothes to wear now either bc I'm always spending my money on toys, food, or diapers... I'm not very responsible.

  2. #2

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    There is nothing much you can do now that she somewhat knows. All you can do is either explain it a bit further or claim it as a project then later confess it was an early 2015 joke. There isn't much to get out of there now that you confessed.

    I have seen bunch of threads this 2015 about people opening it up but it's not really safe to open up because it's 50/50 that it's either accepting that you are an abdl or that it's disgusting. It's a risk everyone is taking.

    As for you, I do hope things get better for you.

  3. #3

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    Darn!
    Not surprised at your Mom's reaction.
    @ least, my own Mom has been deceased since 2008, so she can not complain about my being an Adult Baby.
    Anyway, I am not sure what to say, which will be helpful.

  4. #4

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    She made one good point tho -- I'm buying diapers, then complaining that I'm out of clothes to wear. She gave me clothes money a while back and I used it on... toys and diapers...

    The thing is, diapers are one of the few things I've found that really calm me down in the midst of an anxiety attack. I guess I should go back to journaling? Might work out better while I'm still living at home.

  5. #5

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    I agree with Snivy opening up is not safe but especially to your parents. I have had too many experiences where non-ABDL people really expressed their hate and disgust with it. My best advice to you is to not bring it up or talk about it anymore and keep it to yourself.

  6. #6

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    I just didn't want them to open the mail when my diaper came in... I described it as a "diaper fetish" (not gonna lie, I'm DL too) and they just seemed SO icked out.

  7. #7

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    I'm sorry to hear her reaction like that but with tell other it like playing the lottery you ether win or lose big time. Let her cool down and I would not try to talk to her about it again because it could get only worst from here for you.

  8. #8

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    I'm sorry it turned out this way for you. I had a very similar experience and it eventually lead to me moving out of my parents house because I personally couldn't stand the criticism anymore.

    Is she right? In my opinion, mostly no. You spending your money on something you enjoy is your choice and you should be able to spend it on whatever you want. Also, sure it costs a bit of money, but at least you aren't spending that money on illegal drugs, or anti-depresants because of self hate for trying to stop being an Adult Baby.

    I think the hardest thing people can't understand, is that we really don't mind the feeling of having a wet diaper on us, and actually, we like it. She might be of the impression that "[son/daughter] is mentally addicted to diapers for some type of security reason and doesn't feel like he can stop it." Rather than the truth which is "[son/daughter] likes to wear diapers and it has been his dream since forever, and now is finally able to express himself and it helps him feel better."

    Something that might come across better than "I can't quit it," is, "I don't want to quit it because I like it, and even if I tried to quit it, I would be horribly sad to destroy this part of my life."

    Your mom may never understand anyway, but stand up for yourself. The reason you cant quit, is because you probably don't want to, because you probably like it.

    The part where you'r mom is right, is that it is money that could be spent towards taking care of your own physical needs. However, everybody deserves to have a little bit of play money to make life worth living, but your mom might not look at it like that. There are a few things that I would say about this.

    Not sure what you think about cloth diapers, but I started to look into it heavily when I feared I might not have the finances to support my diaper habit. You might consider investing in just a few, so you can know that you will always have a reusable diaper to wear, this is for self comfort, to know that you will always have a way to wear. Your mom might not be happy to see you investing more money though, so you might want to keep that on the down low.

    Second, try and keep it on the down low the best you can. Look into getting your diaper stuff sent somewhere else. You can send to UPS or Fedex with the "Hold For Pickup" program, where you pay $5 to pick up mail that is sent to them, or you can get a PO box. If you are especially bold and not worried about discovery too much, and you know your mailing is descrete, you could send mail to an office you work at or something, but that is probably not smart. Main thing though, find a way to send to somewhere else.

    As part of the last, find a way to keep it even more discrete than it was before, find a way to make your mom think that it is starting to wear off and go away, especially if she wont buy into the fact that you don't want it to go away. You eventually won't have to worry about it anymore once you move out, but having your mom react the way she did is just super annoying and downright depressing.


    Overall, I don't think she was in the right by reacting that way, it is super rude, and very closed minded.

    I think in a (edit) right circumstance it could be worth saying something to the effect of, "I don't expect you to understand why I like diapers, but I would have hoped that you could respect my ability to know what makes me happy, and respect my ability to choose." Then if you really want to go this direction, which you might not, you may consider something like this, "Mom, if you don't want to spend money on my meals, and you would rather see me spend my personal recreational funds, which isn't much, on buying my own food, then I'll do it. I didn't feel like it was wrong for me to spend a bit of my money on something that I enjoyed because people need to have a little bit of things they enjoy in their lives sometimes, but If you feel like I should be spending all of my money on necessities and that would make you feel less like you are supporting my habits, which I never thought you were, then I am prepared to do that. I had always appreciated your help by giving me a home and food and getting me clothes, and I never was trying to take that for granted by buying diapers, I was only intending to spend money that could have otherwise been use on going to see a movie or something."

    A different, less verbal approach that just came to mind, You could instead just start going to Ross or something and buy yourself some new close fairly frequently, maybe she will settle down when she sees you are buying clothes and looking fancy, it is a good distraction, even if you are also buying padding, which hopefully you can make her less aware of.
    Last edited by Tyger; 10-Jan-2015 at 03:07.

  9. #9

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    I agree with the above posters. Like Snivy said, there's a 50/50 good/bad outcome when outing oneself. From what I heard you say, you have been using money your mom gave you for clothes and bought diapers with them? If that's the case, she has a right to be mad. That was her money and she expected you to spend it for something you needed. I think the best you can do here is to apologize to her for not doing what she wanted with her money. I think you could relieve some of the tension by telling her that you'll back off from buying diapers. Then, just be in stealth mode.

    I also believe that if you want diapers, you should use your own money. I worked all four years while I was in college. Our kids did the same if they wanted spending money while in college. I should add that my wife and I paid for their university education by working two and three jobs.

    I don't mean to be harsh with you, but as a parent, I can see where your mom would be upset. I tried to keep my diaper wearing secret from my parents. I made makeshift diapers from cloth, etc. I didn't get caught until my senior year, and then my mom sent me to see a psychiatrist at a mental hospital, so you're still ahead of the game. Hang in there. I assume you have enough baby things to get you through this, except for diapers. A small part time job,even baby sitting, should get you some diaper money. Then keep everything on the down low.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I agree with the above posters. Like Snivy said, there's a 50/50 good/bad outcome when outing oneself. From what I heard you say, you have been using money your mom gave you for clothes and bought diapers with them? If that's the case, she has a right to be mad. That was her money and she expected you to spend it for something you needed. I think the best you can do here is to apologize to her for not doing what she wanted with her money. I think you could relieve some of the tension by telling her that you'll back off from buying diapers. Then, just be in stealth mode.

    I also believe that if you want diapers, you should use your own money. I worked all four years while I was in college. Our kids did the same if they wanted spending money while in college. I should add that my wife and I paid for their university education by working two and three jobs.

    I don't mean to be harsh with you, but as a parent, I can see where your mom would be upset. I tried to keep my diaper wearing secret from my parents. I made makeshift diapers from cloth, etc. I didn't get caught until my senior year, and then my mom sent me to see a psychiatrist at a mental hospital, so you're still ahead of the game. Hang in there. I assume you have enough baby things to get you through this, except for diapers. A small part time job,even baby sitting, should get you some diaper money. Then keep everything on the down low.
    Oh, if the money is coming from some form of allowance then she is certainly right in being upset. But I feel like if the op had earned the money in the first place then it isn't unreasonable for the op to be allowed to buy whatever with it, but it also isn't unreasonable for the ops parents to want to influence the op's spending when they are providing housing and such.

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