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Hello all!

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blah42

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Other
So, I've been into ABDL and such for years and years and years but have always been sort of a 'lurker' in the background. I've sorta found this side of my life to be something to be...hidden to say the least. I've never quite figured out WHY I got into it.

I found out recently, though, at the end of November that apparently I've had a disease all my life called 'interstitial cystitis' meaning the lining of my bladder has apparently been non-existant causing urine to be an irritant to it, and my bladder has been somewhat hardened and unable to expand past 400cc without bodily damage, I'm guessing to ill-use considering I've felt the need to pee at roughly 25cc-50cc all my life thus never giving it the CHANCE to expand.

Until November I was peeing 1-5 times per hour and waking up every 1-2 hours at night and considering that normal and never knowing any different. I have *recently* learned that the average person only pees 4-8 times PER DAY. Similar to a person who has been deaf all their life learning that their ears are supposed to work.

It took me so long to finally go to the doctor for it because, well, when you grow up and you feel the need to CONSTANTLY pee, no one every really believes you, and if they say 'you should go to a doctor' it's generally not presented in a very...positive light so it becomes a thing of shame, and something to be hidden because you think "well, maybe they're right. Maybe I AM making it u-gotta go-definitely not making it up..."

I'm now medicated for it, and improving GREATLY, but it sorta put together WHY I like this particular fetish. Diapers sorta make me feel like 'it's ok, it's not a problem' and *semi-normal*. This particular fetish made me feel like 'well, there are others out there who are having the same issue' even though I didn't realize it was a *legitimate* medical issue. Everyone around me saw it, but just like a deaf person, everybody but the deaf person realizes the full function of the malfunctioning part.

When I'm home alone I'll wear them around the house so I can do things like, watch a 30 minute tv show without having to move, or play a video game without having to keep pausing.

I drive a lot and when I'm on long trips, I will wear diapers because, well, when you feel the need to pee so often and things like belts, pants, and seatbelts press on the bladder, an 8 hour trip is just...just so difficult.

Since I've been medicated (and thank GOD I'm medicated now. MAJOR relief) I now will wear them when I'm alone so I can drink a lot of water and hold it for longer and not worry about feeling like I'm going to have an accident (anxiety+having to pee=not good). I can hold it until my bladder CAN'T hold it anymore thus allowing it to EXPAND and allowing the medicine to work.

I've now gone from only being *barely* able to hold 50cc to now seeing 100cc-150cc on a regular basis with an *occasional* 200cc and ONE 300cc. Ever since visiting the urologist I've measured just about every time I pee to gauge improvement.

Anyway, just figured I'd share :sweatdrop:
 
blah42 said:
So, I've been into ABDL and such for years and years and years but have always been sort of a 'lurker' in the background. I've sorta found this side of my life to be something to be...hidden to say the least. I've never quite figured out WHY I got into it.

I found out recently, though, at the end of November that apparently I've had a disease all my life called 'interstitial cystitis' meaning the lining of my bladder has apparently been non-existant causing urine to be an irritant to it, and my bladder has been somewhat hardened and unable to expand past 400cc without bodily damage, I'm guessing to ill-use considering I've felt the need to pee at roughly 25cc-50cc all my life thus never giving it the CHANCE to expand.

Until November I was peeing 1-5 times per hour and waking up every 1-2 hours at night and considering that normal and never knowing any different. I have *recently* learned that the average person only pees 4-8 times PER DAY. Similar to a person who has been deaf all their life learning that their ears are supposed to work.

It took me so long to finally go to the doctor for it because, well, when you grow up and you feel the need to CONSTANTLY pee, no one every really believes you, and if they say 'you should go to a doctor' it's generally not presented in a very...positive light so it becomes a thing of shame, and something to be hidden because you think "well, maybe they're right. Maybe I AM making it u-gotta go-definitely not making it up..."

I'm now medicated for it, and improving GREATLY, but it sorta put together WHY I like this particular fetish. Diapers sorta make me feel like 'it's ok, it's not a problem' and *semi-normal*. This particular fetish made me feel like 'well, there are others out there who are having the same issue' even though I didn't realize it was a *legitimate* medical issue. Everyone around me saw it, but just like a deaf person, everybody but the deaf person realizes the full function of the malfunctioning part.

When I'm home alone I'll wear them around the house so I can do things like, watch a 30 minute tv show without having to move, or play a video game without having to keep pausing.

I drive a lot and when I'm on long trips, I will wear diapers because, well, when you feel the need to pee so often and things like belts, pants, and seatbelts press on the bladder, an 8 hour trip is just...just so difficult.

Since I've been medicated (and thank GOD I'm medicated now. MAJOR relief) I now will wear them when I'm alone so I can drink a lot of water and hold it for longer and not worry about feeling like I'm going to have an accident (anxiety+having to pee=not good). I can hold it until my bladder CAN'T hold it anymore thus allowing it to EXPAND and allowing the medicine to work.

I've now gone from only being *barely* able to hold 50cc to now seeing 100cc-150cc on a regular basis with an *occasional* 200cc and ONE 300cc. Ever since visiting the urologist I've measured just about every time I pee to gauge improvement.

Anyway, just figured I'd share :sweatdrop:
Click to expand...

Hey there. Welcome to ADISC! Thanks for sharing us your story, it seems like you've had a long road to understanding yourself. I'm glad you understand yourself a bit more. ADISC is a wonderful support site where we hope you feel ready and willing to take part in giving other people the support they might need, and know that you can come to use to get the support you might need. Whatever your involvement with the site though, we really appreciate you taking the time to say hello and let us know a little bit about yourself.

What ultimately made you join ADISC and how did you find us? What sorts of other things are you interested in with your life, beyond the DL realm? How do you like to spend your time? (Feel free to ignore this question if you don't feel like sharing. It just helps to get a better understanding of yourself.. and this is a pretty amazing forum full of cool people. You might find a neat online pal that shares a lot of your interests and you could talk to about this kinda stuff too.)

Have a blast both here and in your meatspace life, and I hope that things just continue to get better.
 
Arietta said:
Hey there. Welcome to ADISC! Thanks for sharing us your story, it seems like you've had a long road to understanding yourself. I'm glad you understand yourself a bit more. ADISC is a wonderful support site where we hope you feel ready and willing to take part in giving other people the support they might need, and know that you can come to use to get the support you might need. Whatever your involvement with the site though, we really appreciate you taking the time to say hello and let us know a little bit about yourself.

What ultimately made you join ADISC and how did you find us? What sorts of other things are you interested in with your life, beyond the DL realm? How do you like to spend your time? (Feel free to ignore this question if you don't feel like sharing. It just helps to get a better understanding of yourself.. and this is a pretty amazing forum full of cool people. You might find a neat online pal that shares a lot of your interests and you could talk to about this kinda stuff too.)

Have a blast both here and in your meatspace life, and I hope that things just continue to get better.
Click to expand...

Well, after years of no one really believing me and then being diagnosed with this and giving me some...validity to say the least, I figured, ok, this is something that is, for better worse, a verified part of me. I'm POSITIVE I'm not alone. The thing is, in real life, I have no one I can tell this to. I'm already considered by my family and friends to be a bit on the eccentric side IRL, and really anybody knowing this will just push it WAY too far over the edge for most people I know.

I've kept the depth of it secret from relationships in the past because I've seen the reaction when I mentioned I liked this type of stuff and didn't really want to do further damage so I haven't been able to disclose any of this there either. You ever have a secret that just eats away at you because you KNOW you can't tell anyone? This has been that one for me for YEARS.

So with it being verified I DO have a medical condition and I'm also 30, I figured, "Ok, if anyone finds out now, I have a completely valid MEDICAL excuse that explains everything that no one is going to argue with. I'm 30, and I've CLEARLY been looking in the wrong places to find people who *get it* WITHOUT a backstory, WITHOUT having to explain the fetish, WITHOUT having to have the conversation 'no this is NOT child porn' (sorta like having the questioned asked 'have you stopped beating your wife?' It's an un-winnable discussion because the *assumption* is already there), and this won't lower their opinion of me or come back to bite me and be used as ammunition if I ever get in an argument."

What I figure with joining these forums and coming out of the shadows is at least there's a place I can tell people who can sorta understand.

---------------------------

Now then, outside of the DL interests, I do design work for a living and have a full time job at it. I stay in shape, I eat healthy, I LOVE cooking, and gardening, or, well, taking care of the lawn/flowers. I generally try for CONSTANT self improvement. I figure so long as I'm better than the person I was yesterday and not as good as the person I'll BE tomorrow, I'm all good :)
 
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