Constantly aware of the diaper

Whenever I'm wearing a diaper, I find that my mind is going "you're wearing a diaper, you're wearing a diaper, you're wearing a diaper, etc." This is worst when out in public. I believe that nobody notices, unless they personally wear diapers, too, then they might. But my mind is never able to be off the topic. I went several months straight wearing Depend Real Fit to work and I swear I thought this for every step I took, and it's hard to count those as diapers. Yes, if someone somehow saw them, the word around the place would be that "he wears diapers" because they wouldn't get it. Of course, at that point, I would be thickly padded from then on because it would no longer matter.

The other day, I was at a movie and wore a Northshorecare AirSupreme. With oversized jeans and a short that covered most of my butt, I'm sure that nobody could tell, but the mental narration was still there. Maybe if I was 24/7 for good eventually that would go away. It's not like I walk around thinking, "I'm wearing underwear, I'm wearing underwear..." the rest of the time. Well, maybe it crosses my mind when my walnut sized bladder convulses and I have to think, "run!"

Does anyone else find they have this in their minds constantly when wearing and in public places?

Not usually. After being an Abdl for over 19 years I don't care as long as it's not family

It sounds like a meeting of obsession about diapers with guilt/shame. That's not a happy intersection. As above, I suppose the best way to get out of there is to deal with the guilt/shame. I've learned not to really care what others think about me wearing and using diapers. I take the same precautions you do, baggy pants and shirt, and wear a lined plastic pant over my diaper to prevent any possible leaks from advertising the fact that I pee myself. You can learn to put aside the guilt/shame, emotions which do not stand up well against reason and scrutiny.

I hadn't thought of it as guilt/shame and I suppose it could be. It's partly me wondering if I've kept it completely discrete. I'm reaching a point in my life where I care less and less what others think but I know I don't have that perfect yet. My bladder is touchy enough that any time I don't wear I'm taking a chance but I take that chance more often than not. At some point I will just give in and wear protection all the time. Maybe eventually the mental soundtrack will go silent. It's not distressing but just something I've noticed I do and I'm just looking at it as an internal observer. That's why I wonder if others do the same.

I felt that way at first when I first started wearing. Now, not much. I think you get over that with time, and with getting used to wearing diapers.

I know that feeling. Whenever I wear in public and am walking or moving around, the diapers I wear unavoidably affect the way I walk, so it's hard to take the mind off it. If you are hanging around friends or acquaintances who you don't normally wear diapers around, it can make the effect much worse. My advise would be to try to force your mind off it and focus on other things around you. If you're a DL then diapers are an indulgence that probably releases endorphins in your brain - maybe even more than normal when you wear publicly because the added risk and novelty adds to the exhilaration. Because of the effect on your brain it can be difficult to take your attention off it.

If forcing your mind off it does not work, you might try either wearing more often to diminish the effect over time, or just stop wearing altogether in public if you don't like the effect on your mind. I found it difficult to focus and concentrate when I was wearing to school or work, so I just stopped doing it. As long as it isn't affecting your productivity, your interactions with others, or your life in general it's not a big deal. But if it begins to get in the way I would tone it down or stop.

For the first bit, I could not shake the idea I was diapered from my head, be it day or night. It took months to finally get to the point where it does snot bother me any more, and have never been noticed when I am out and sporting my special undies... no one cares or stares at your butt wondering.

Vinylfeet said:

Does anyone else find they have this in their minds constantly when wearing and in public places?

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Completely!

Although I find it quite calming and relaxing to be wearing a diaper, I'm almost always aware of the feeling of it (unless I'm not moving and am engrossed in something else). As soon as I move or my brain has spare capacity for extra thoughts, I'm immediately reminded of it.

I find this particularly helpful for sleeping. My mind can be somewhat "over-active", and I often find it hard to relax or stay asleep. But if I wake up (or reach that half-asleep stage of semi-consciousness) and I'm wearing a diaper, I almost become aware of that without fully waking up. It's like my brain says, "Argh! Consciousness!!! What the hell's going on?! Surely I need to do something, but what?! Ohhh... it's okay: I'm wearing a diaper! It's safe to relax... Zzzzz!".

It's funny, when I first tried wearing diapers again at night, I was so excited by the idea that I hardly slept a wink. But now the novelty's worn off, I sleep like a... baby! (Groan!)

I very rarely venture out in public when diapered, but when I do I always feel incredibly self-conscious. I spend half-an-hour checking out my reflection to make sure no one would know and trying to build up my confidence to leave the house... and that's just to nip to the local supermarket for five minutes.

I quit caring about what others thought of me wearing diapers a long long time ago. Because of that, I was able to overcome that self conscience idea of me thinking other people knew I was wearing.

I rarely wear diapers in public, and even more rarely use them in public, so when I do, my mind is generally in my pants. I don't really look on this as a bad thing, though. On the contrary, it's sort of exhilarating. I'm not an exhibitionist, and I certainly don't want others to know, but the fact that I have a secret is sort of fun -- a sort of "hiding in plain sight" thing.

jeremyi said:

I know that feeling. Whenever I wear in public and am walking or moving around, the diapers I wear unavoidably affect the way I walk, so it's hard to take the mind off it. If you are hanging around friends or acquaintances who you don't normally wear diapers around, it can make the effect much worse. My advise would be to try to force your mind off it and focus on other things around you. If you're a DL then diapers are an indulgence that probably releases endorphins in your brain - maybe even more than normal when you wear publicly because the added risk and novelty adds to the exhilaration. Because of the effect on your brain it can be difficult to take your attention off it.

If forcing your mind off it does not work, you might try either wearing more often to diminish the effect over time, or just stop wearing altogether in public if you don't like the effect on your mind. I found it difficult to focus and concentrate when I was wearing to school or work, so I just stopped doing it. As long as it isn't affecting your productivity, your interactions with others, or your life in general it's not a big deal. But if it begins to get in the way I would tone it down or stop.

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+1 on what jeremyi wrote.

Early on I was paranoid that *everyone* would look and think "that guy is wearing diapers". Trust me, you'll progress to "I really don't care if they figure out I'm in a diaper". Because you eventually figure out that nobody is studying your lower torso trying to determine what you have on underneath. DISCLAIMER: Unless you're a cute woman befitting of the yoga pants you're wearing. ;-)

Go have some fun!

I wear nappies all the time now and hardly ever think about it now.

When I first started to wear in public I was always aware of it and I was afraid people would find out. The more I did it I found that nobody will notice or care about it, so now when I wear in public I don't take any notice to it. It's just like when I started wearing panties in public, I don't even notice any more.

I think that it's something you will eventually get used to and not think about it. When I started wearing every night, I was for a time very conscious of the padding between my legs, but now I hardly notice it. In fact, I think I would notice it more if I didn't wear!

I find it the same if I wear during the day and when I am out in public. I'm now so used to wearing a nappy whenever I feel like it (which is happening more and more as I get older) that I don't really think about it any more.

When I started wearing in public I was so nervous. Now, I rarely think about it when I'm out wearing a diaper.

I was thinking about this while out and about and diapered today. I think most of it is that I can always feel it. I can't feel boxers. Of course I like the security in the feeling but i never really forget it. I'm pretty sure if I eventually have to wear 24/7 then I would not notice it as much.

Once you have to wear 24/7 you will start to realise no one notices and if they do no one really cares. I wear all the time now and just get on with life.